Hit by Hubby

N

nancytls

New Member
i have been hit by mine hubby a few times.
Those are not serious hit jus a push and light slap of the face. He alwasy do that infront of mine sons.And make mine elderson cry.

Frankly speak, we do not have sex for few months and i sense that i hv no love for him.
I did not bother wat he do outside and no more dating with him anymore. FOr us the conversation is alwasy the subject of kids.
Last time, we still make it a point for dinner once a week. Now i dun feel like gg out with him anymore. Smtime evern i on leave, i prefer to be alone. I dun like to sleep with him, i prefer to sleep with mine son.
For me working is more happy than stay at hm. Btw, i working mother with 2 kids of age 2 and 6.

I really need advise.shall i continue the relationship or end it.
 


for someone who will hit u, i dun think he's worth it anymore. now it's juz push and light slap, wat if one day it turn out to be a tight slap and push to the floor?
 
"shall i continue the relationship or end it."

The relationship has already ended no? My question to you : is martial status important to you? Should you want to pursue another relationship, you would need to separate and plan the divorce unless your new partner is acceptable with current status.
 
I have no intention to bring mine 2 kids with me if i decided to end the relationship.
Even though mine 2 kids are v close to me. Cos i believe mine inlaw will able to give mine 2 kids more love than me.
Actually if no abusing , he will treat me and mine kids v well.
 
nancy,

You amaze me... thinking your inlaw can give more love to your kids than you. But what if they are not around?

You willing to give up your children just like that?

Any reason why you don't want your kids? YOu can't handle them? Or financially? You still can have in-law take care of them and have them.. it is not mutually exclusive..

the only relationship that you have to end is between your hb and you.. it has nothing to do with the children..
 
sm,
I will not able to cope financially and mentally.
Sorry to say that i feel v burden to bring the kids with me. Am i not a gd mother?
 
ntan, i thought no matter wat, a mother will want to be with the kids? why do u have the mentality to let ur in laws take care of them?
 
financially fair enough... but wat do u mean by mentally? if kids are a burden to u, then y did u bring them to this world in the first place?
 
nancy,

No.. I am not judging that you are not a good mother. What I am saying is that it is still possible to have your hb retain care and control of the children but for you to play your role as well.

They can still stay with your in-laws.. and even when you are divorced, you still can be a great mother. Don't confuse the relationship with your hb with that of between you and your children.

blissful, that is a moot point. the children already here..
 
no one can answer for you. Only you know. Is the decision really for the best of your children or an excuse to mask your own agenda.

Same action could have completely differing intentions and effect on differing situations.
 
moot point? yea.. that's y i'm saying since the kids are already here, then y find them a burden? how would young kids know whether they need their own space? i think parent's guidance is more to them at this point of age.

no doubt in-laws can give proper guidance as well. but to leave the kids to them completely doesn't sound right. if u wan to juz get away for a short while to settle ur thoughts, fine.. but if u intend to get ur in laws to bring them up on behalf of u, i think thats quite selfish.
 
Thanks all for your valuerable advise. Noted with thanks!
Currently the main issue is my hubby and me are in a very sour relationship,
Maybe we shld go for counselling.
 
go for counselling? yup, that sounds good. maybe u can try to get him to attend anger management classes also.
 
blissful,

My point is that when a parent decides not to have care and control of the children - it does not necessary mean that they are abandoning the children. And it does not mean that the parent does not love their children. It is not necessarily selfish. You are just looking at one aspect.

In a divorce situation, naturally only a parent can have care and control. so what leaves the other parent? Automatically the other parent is selfish? Not quite... As long as even after divorce and even without care and control, it is possible to love the children.

Think about it...
 
'Actually if no abusing , he will treat me and mine kids v well.'

Maybe we shld go for counselling.'

Since you suggested counselling, you might want to look at why he is abusive to you. How is your behaviour towards him before he gets agitated and abusive, or simply are you part of the cause of his behaviour?

And if he is good to you and your kids when he is not abusive, then why have he changed, split personality or something that trigger this behaviour of his?
 
sm, i do agree with u. But like wat TS said, she find it a burden. It's a very strong word to use. "cast ur burden away" so, it seems like TS want to cast the children away, which is why i am startled, as she mentioned that she is very close to both kids.

Ntan: yep, there're such classes. go google about it. as for counselling, i think both of u should attend. find the root of the problem for his behaviour towards u.
 
ntan: may i know hw old r u and how old are ur kids? U are not happy in your marriage, it has nothing to do with your children, these r 2 different facts and feelings... Do you want children in the first place? No mothers will ever describe their kids as burden. THey do not ask to be born, neither do they ask to be ur burden. You made a choice to give birth and bring them to this world and now u are trying to cast them away, just like when you feel "tired"? Tired of? Taking care of them or being tired to stick to your current unhappy marriage? Are u aware of the differences?

Kids are the one who are hurt the most when parents divorce, and yet, imagine how they might feel when their own mother actually finds them a burden? You want to leave them with ur in-laws, the bottomline is they care for their grandchildren with love and not obligations or forced responsibilities.... Aren't u shirking what u shld do?
 
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