Help, I need divorce but still need custody for son

[niveamen]

Hi, I am very confuse now as I (guy) may be going through divorce but I do not wish to lose custody of my son (3 year old) what should do?

 

[xiao_nu_ren]

What happened that caused this divorce?

 

[niveamen]

Both parties can't get along anymore

 

[xiao_nu_ren]

<u>Hi Alvinong</u>
Joint custody ok for you? Cos for your case, most likely will be joint custody.

 

[simpleman]

If you can try to part amicably..

the child can be joint custody.. with one parent having care and control.

Try to discuss with wife who is better suited to have care and control. The other parent still can contribute and be a great parent.

 

[niveamen]

Yes I don't mind joint custody, but what are my chance if I want sole custody together with my parent looking after my child?
What if my wife wants sole custody, will she be grantî?

 

[xiao_nu_ren]

<u>Hi Alvinong</u>
Honestly saying, to have your marriage to part ways, is going to be quite an impact on your child. And to have him separated from either parent, might be quite traumatizing. I would really suggest to go for joint custody, where both of you still do your best to love the child as both of you do now. Rather than have him in the tug of war of sole custody.

 

[simpleman]

The question is not what you want. But what is best for the child.

Think for a moment in the shoes of your son. Think and think. What is the best for him if you and your wife are going to divorce. The best is of course both you are stay married but since it is not possible, the next best is still for him to have the love of both parents.

Meaning even in divorce - both you and your wife can continue to be great parents to him. Hence, joint custody is normally what the judgement will be.

 

[seawaves6]

care &amp; concern will usually go the mother.
well, unless u have valid grounds lah.
eg: wife unable to care for kids etc

wat happen then want divorce?
if bcos cant live w each other anymore tat type of reason, dun think wife will be so unreasonable to ask for single custody.
single custody is nt tat u can see ur child leh. its just tat all major decision concerning ur child will be made by the person.
eg: religion, attend wat sch. want to migrate.

all parents love the children. if there isnt a pressing serious problem, i dun think anyone will choose single custody bah.

 

[niveamen]

Thx for all the reply, seriously care and concern are my main priority for the child, and i can live with the fact that all major decisions make by her.
Thx for all the reply, seriously care and concern are my main priority for the child, and i can live with the fact that all major decisions make by her.

She insist that she want all custody and I will not have any visiting right, can she do this?

If we were given joint custody, is it the child can stay with any parents for a specfic time frame as agree. Eg 3 days with dad and 4 days with mum

 

[wat_are_dreamz]

This is quite amusing. Husband n wife may have their problems n decide not to continue w the marriage. But the child is innocent. If parents truly love the child, they shd be fair n think for the child. The child's opinion shd be respected, as to which parent does the child want to stay w. Unless either spouse is a morally bad eg for the child, then maybe tat parent shd spend less time w the child. Otherwise, the child shd be allowed to enjoy the love n care from both parents in order to grow up healthily.

Custody issues shd be discussed w the lawyer. Honestly speaking, husband n wife shd contain their own unhappiness n not spill over to the child. Think from the child's viewpt - who would want to stay 3days in a house n 4days in another house? There is no sense of belonging at all. Rules n discipline will be diff in both houses tat makes it confusing for the child. The environment, clothes, room layout etc will all be different. Pls dun make the divorce more challenging for the child.

 

[clipperjunk]

ask for joint custody but have the child live with the mum while you request the right to take him out during weekends and hols...also without the child with you can be a plus for you to focus on your work and perhaps social life...

 

[niveamen]

Hi Evon, which couples like to be separted? Everyone want a happy and lasting relationship right, but sometime life isn't a bed of roses and we have to move on. If my child can have it own opinion it could be good. Is there such clause that after age 7 the child has their own choice?

Thq for all your opinion

 

[mdm]

HI Niveamen,

I dont think you can win custody due to the child is still too young. Normally kid below 7 yrs old, custody will go to mum unless the mum got illness tat cant take care of the son.