For mummy gals.. How do you deal with your new phase of life?

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rebeana

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I am very close with my parents, so is my partner..

I always think that because my dad is always travelling, I ought to spend more time with my mum, who is always at home (doing housework, rest) other than work. That is why I am sometimes torn between going out with friends or staying at home with mum and I choose the latter..

My partner is also very family oriented.. His parents are also always at home and always going out together which means, they are the normal happy parents.. However, my partner is really a filial guy which I really admire (because he also makes a point to accompany my mum) and he makes a point to at least try to accompany his parents once or twice(weekday) by going home for dinner and trying to stay at home on a Sunday to accompany them..

Ok enough of the background story.. My point is.. We are getting married soon.. Moving into our new phase of life.. But im really not used to "leaving" my mum alone.. I have tot of doing home for dinner on alt days (for both side), sat for ourselves and sunday for whoever is free but I know this will tire both of us very much...

Anyone face the same problem? How you deal with it? Are you used to it? Am I the only mummy gal around?
 


Rebeana, i'm close to my family which is one of the reasons why my husband chose to move to Singapore instead of me moving to his home country.

Initially i thought that it would be hard for me to adjust to a new routine after getting married - after all, i won't be living under the same roof with my family anymore. But then my mom told me that even though we might not be living together, that does not mean that we won't be as close as before - it's all in the heart and mind.
 
Married, moving out, independence. It is not possible for us to always stick by the side of our parents and the attention will definitely be split between 3 families. You parents, in laws and your own.

Time management, prioritizing and planning is important. Initially, we alternate between either places for dinner as we work and stay quite close to our parents. So it's just swinging by. Then now we are engaged in night classes. We just pop by once or twice a week if we can. Sometimes, I would go home for short lunch if I am too busy to make it during the evenings.

We do not need to be physically there. There is always the telephone to bridge the concern. Calling back few mins in the evening and find out how they are doing for the day will be good enough.
 
rebeana,

If you two have the energy and is willing, why not? I used to to that - having dinner with in-laws and my mother place on alternate days (during weekdays). It is a bit tiring.. sometimes when we worked late, we will skip.. but mostly it is a routine..

I would say it is one of the happiest period of my life although when we got home, it was tiring. Do it while you still can physically because your work demands may change and it may not be possible in the future.
 
Rebeana, i'm also very close to my parents. So when i got married i meet them 2x a week for shopping. When my dad's away, i'll call my mum everyday to chat. Or we'll meet up for shopping.

Now that i'm staying very near my parents, we meet almost every alternate days for lunch and chit chat sessions.

On my in-laws side, i meet them every weekend for dinner or sometimes we'll skip a week if we can't make it. No issue at all as they are very accommodating. Occasionally mum-in-law will get bro-in-law to deliver special soup to us during busy period :-))

Now i have discovered that bringing 2 families together for lunch/dinner can be quite fun and saves our time from travelling to both sides of the family. You can try that too. My mum and mum-in-law chat with each other non-stop so no need to entertain them.
 
For me n my hb, though we havent start living together yet (due to customary), but we try to make an effort to meet my family for dinner on sat/sun, and then his family for dinner on sat/sun. We are so used to it already, that we will automatically think, ok today dinner with your family, tmr we go out with our family. Hee
There are times when we actually bring both family out to dinner together. Of course, you dont have to make this a compulsory activity, it can come just very natural when you are used to it.

Tiring? No private time? Just need some changing of lifestyle. You can spend the morning and afternoon together with your hb ma.. Doing housework together, playing games together is "together time" too.
 
oh.. we are lucky in the sense both of our parents lives in Yishun. And we bought a BTO flat near them too. So, its easy to get all to meet up together for dinner.
 
Hi gals.. Thanks a lot..

Actually i hope my worries is un-called for.. Coz usually if Sat if my mum and his parents are at home, we will all go for dinner together (they click very well).
Our new house is just like a 5mins walk from both our parents (his house and my house are like a 3mins walk away only)

Actually what im worried about is the emotional strings. I can go back for dinners, but I can't always be around like now..
You know its like her being alone at night with no one to tok to, no one to have dinner with especially when she is scared of dark.. Sigh.. thats why.. Or its like no one to tok to when she is bored.. (coz she will come my room to chat with me almost everyday)..

Maybe Im really not used to it, but thinking about it makes me alittle sad and can't bear to move out.. So wondering if you all face the same problem before..
happy.gif
 
Rebeana, if u guys are staying this close, even if u don't eat together, can drop by anytime to chat or something. Don't need to worry lah. Be flexible about it.
 
Yeah that is very very close. Maybe some evenings can also jio parents down to the coffeeshop or what to have coffee also. Or encourage your mum to join those activities they org at the community centers. Keep them occupied with a larger group of friends.
 
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