Did you breakdown on your wedding dinner?
- Thread starter lv17
- Start date
I think you meant break even?
Mine soon, not yet. The amt is really subjective. For some, they get much more from relatives whereas, some relatives give much lesser than the market rate. For myself, I bao according to how close I am to that person.
I would recommend to take a safer bet, prepared to absorb 20-30% of the cost. The higher cost for per pax, the higher risk. Not everyone will check the Angbao guide online.
Mine soon, not yet. The amt is really subjective. For some, they get much more from relatives whereas, some relatives give much lesser than the market rate. For myself, I bao according to how close I am to that person.
I would recommend to take a safer bet, prepared to absorb 20-30% of the cost. The higher cost for per pax, the higher risk. Not everyone will check the Angbao guide online.
pinkpetter
Member
I asked most of my friends... most of them break as long as they didn't ask for anything extra.... I'm not looking to break even... I think I will be prepared to pay. If break even then it'll be a nice thing. haha
This is also my worry too.. Nowadays wedding dinner for hotels is like $1400 - $1600 per table? So that means the cost for one pax is average $150. When relatives bring whole family of 5 along, that means they occupy half the table cost already! So they need to give ang bao of $150 X 5 = $750!! But i seriously doubt the whole family will be so generous to give one ang bao $750 lor... What about those friends who bring along their toddler say 2 - 4yrs old? Even though toddler is not eating a lot right, but they're also eating the share from the table and also with others. Their baby chair also occupies one seat right? Then do you think this couple friend will give you more in the ang bao? I also headache about this issue. Very stress
A few friends told me they breakeven as well, cos they got big Ang baos from a few relatives or parents' friends. But prices have increased since their times. A family can easily occupy half a table. Can consider Bearine's suggestion, combine two kids to a table. Toddlers put baby chair as addition rather than taking one seat..
Silvertears
New Member
Yes! Relatives are the hardest. Especially when some can be quite Bu Zi Dong or act blur.
My sister just had her wedding early this month. Per pax for her banquet was about $150. My uncle brought his whole family of 5, 1 of the cousin was married and she brought her 2 children, both primary school already. The other 2 cousins brought their girlfriends along. Altogether, there are 9 people from his family, but he only gave $300....
My sister was quite angry, but bo bian. Also cannot say don't invite. I just have to be prepared during my own wedding.
My sister just had her wedding early this month. Per pax for her banquet was about $150. My uncle brought his whole family of 5, 1 of the cousin was married and she brought her 2 children, both primary school already. The other 2 cousins brought their girlfriends along. Altogether, there are 9 people from his family, but he only gave $300....
My sister was quite angry, but bo bian. Also cannot say don't invite. I just have to be prepared during my own wedding.
OMG!!! 9 persons attending a wedding and only give $300 for occupying almost the entire table. That's really horrible... That's my worries too. That's why we try to reduce the table cost so we won't lose so much. But going for cheaper hotels also mean the food is not as good. I've seen a menu from one hotel that serves Fried Cereal Oat Prawns. And the table cost $1100+. If you serve food like that, the stingy relatives also have things to complain about. I also have some stingy relatives and I'm even thinking of not inviting them if I can. They're so annoying. The generous relatives are from my mum's side. And my mum gets to keep the ang bao!!! And also not forgetting we need to give my mum some tables too. That's also losses already.
So seriously speaking, I have no idea how to break even a wedding banquet unless if you choose to go for restaurants, which is $600 - $800 per table?
And also not forgetting we need to give my mum some tables too. That's also losses already.So seriously speaking, I have no idea how to break even a wedding banquet unless if you choose to go for restaurants, which is $600 - $800 per table?
Silvertears
New Member
My parents were also shocked when they know about it. But luckily my parents were quite supportive and they returned the ang baos to my sis. Even then, my sis still suffered losses. Aii....
Yes, I know what you mean. I also worry that relatives will complain about the "cheap menu". Thus I proposed to SO that I want a better menu for the food. But SO is very concerned about the budget. Tried to convince me that even if there are complains, it will go away after some time, so no point. In the end, feel that I rather have complains than suffer with debts later. At the most, don't see those relatives lor.
But even then, I am prepared for losses... Including those last minute say they cannot come one...
Yes, I know what you mean. I also worry that relatives will complain about the "cheap menu". Thus I proposed to SO that I want a better menu for the food. But SO is very concerned about the budget. Tried to convince me that even if there are complains, it will go away after some time, so no point. In the end, feel that I rather have complains than suffer with debts later. At the most, don't see those relatives lor.
But even then, I am prepared for losses... Including those last minute say they cannot come one...
9 people for $300!! Thats outrageous leh! Yet, if u go for cheaper tables, not just food so so, people will also naturally bao less. No matter, it's expect some losses unless you hav really generous guests. Friends w experience told me to budget 5 to 15% no-show up. Plus, the occasional lengendary $20 Ang bao or nv bao at all.
BerryDreamy
Member
I ever heard a saying from the folks (in a joking manner)...
"你请我喝酒席，为什么我要给红包。不是你请客吗？”
"You invited us to a wedding dinner, since is a invite and why do we need to give angbao"
Though they do have a point but still I almost faint...
"你请我喝酒席，为什么我要给红包。不是你请客吗？”
"You invited us to a wedding dinner, since is a invite and why do we need to give angbao"
Though they do have a point but still I almost faint...
Ya. Just now I was discussing this topic with a colleague and she told me that some ppl really think that way. For eg, our ex boss who is still working in same company but another dept.
"Since u invite me to celebrate ur joyous occasion, my attendance should be enough. Why must I give Ang Bao? "
After hearing this right, I know I don't want to invite my ex boss anymore. Haha!
I also heard some people like to give wedding gifts instead of Ang Bao. My colleague receives a photo frame for her wedding before. I also want to faint
"Since u invite me to celebrate ur joyous occasion, my attendance should be enough. Why must I give Ang Bao? "
After hearing this right, I know I don't want to invite my ex boss anymore. Haha!
I also heard some people like to give wedding gifts instead of Ang Bao. My colleague receives a photo frame for her wedding before. I also want to faint
I guess in a way that's true? It's to celebrate the union of 2 people, but then on the other hand it's only courtesy to gift something as a gesture of blessing, especially for Asians since we give angbao for everything, CNY, birthdays, newborn, etc. I know westerners like to give things like household appliances for the couple's new home but come on la, photo frame is plain bs. And lots of couples get married before the flat is ready, so store those things where??
BerryDreamy
Member
Well lets try not think whether will it breakeven. Prep ourself first that we will loss money so when it really does, we dun feel the much pain....who know u might get a surprise by recovering more than the banquet? 
Yeah, I was a little worried at first, but htb calmed me down n reminded me that ours isn't expensive (relatively) and our guests are there to enjoy n not pay entrance fee. Just take as it's an expense we're not getting back, so whatever angbao amount we have just take it as good outcome, and if we get a decent amount then it's a bonus.
U all are right la. I also tot of this before. That I need to buffer about 20 - 25% losses (approx $7,500) for banquet. But as the planning of the wedding comes along; pre wed package, additional photos, accessories, Ang baos for helpers and other misc, GDL, print cards, photo booth, AD photographer etc, the cost is about 10-13k. So total damage for losses from banquet + others is abt 20k liao. Very scary.
taketheleap
New Member
Have you guys checked with your venues as to what constitutes one headcount?
I went for a site visit at Fullerton and asked for clarification. They informed me that below 7yrs isn't counted and 7-12yrs is half a headcount.
That being said, I'm looking to get a buffet option so I'm not sure if that makes a difference? But no harm asking I suppose.
I went for a site visit at Fullerton and asked for clarification. They informed me that below 7yrs isn't counted and 7-12yrs is half a headcount.
That being said, I'm looking to get a buffet option so I'm not sure if that makes a difference? But no harm asking I suppose.
I thought that doesn't make a difference because hotels charge by tables not headcount. Am not sure though whether special requests like vegetarian meals are extra add-on or can be substituted into the table cost.
Compared that buffet and sit down lunch prices not much diff. The price savings may come in the form of less headcount. Attractive part is less logistics to arrange tables
Compared that buffet and sit down lunch prices not much diff. The price savings may come in the form of less headcount. Attractive part is less logistics to arrange tables
sometimes we cannot judge to pple who give little. we need to see if they can afford too. (of coz if those are rich but give little.. then you can &^@#&*@^*#^@&*^ Them :cxxx) If you invite me to St Regis or Capella , i sure give under coz I am not able to afford your glamors dinner. I give what I can afford to.
For baby Chair, ask ur hotel if can put squeeze in anot. Baby chair dont count as a1seat usually.
Sometimes we can also slot another chair for 11 pax per table but count as 10pax per table pricing. But the food at the 11pax table will slightly lesser lor. Best is to slot those with young toddler who used up 1 seat but eat less.
Therefore its always good to put aside a sum to prepare to lose so if breakeven, it will be a bonus.
I hope to lose within 5K-10K even though I hold in restaurant.
For baby Chair, ask ur hotel if can put squeeze in anot. Baby chair dont count as a1seat usually.
Sometimes we can also slot another chair for 11 pax per table but count as 10pax per table pricing. But the food at the 11pax table will slightly lesser lor. Best is to slot those with young toddler who used up 1 seat but eat less.
Therefore its always good to put aside a sum to prepare to lose so if breakeven, it will be a bonus.
I hope to lose within 5K-10K even though I hold in restaurant.
jkwedding308
Active Member
Hi hi! Got married a couple of months ago... Thankfully his dad helped out financially so we were able to break even. That said, if not for his dad, we would still have to fork out about $10k, coz yeah, not everyone will give according to the "guide" (not everyone knows there's such a guide and friends/families from overseas won't know either). But yes, do check with your hotel regarding seating. Almost half our tables have 11 seats (somehow many of our tables have the extra 1 or 2 persons who just won't fit in well if they were to sit with other "strangers" at another table) - just that the food portion is for 10 pax but even then, at our banquet venue, the food portion's quite generous so it can easily feed 11-12 pax. We're thankful our hotel didn't charge us any extra for those tables with 11 seats (they even allow us to squeeze in 12 pax per table but we're warned that it will be really squeezy for the guests and we didn't want any guest to feel uncomfortable) but we're aware that quite many hotels will charge you extra per extra seat so make sure you check beforehand! And make sure to check with your hotel about their pricing policy for vegetarian and halal meals so you can plan the seating wisely to minimize unnecessary costs... Hope this helps...
heisenberg86
New Member
Tbh in sg is different from other countries. In sg we give red packet depending on how much per table and cost of venue. Other countries they see based on the value of the relationship with the newlyweds. So I think when you want to hold a banquet just be prepared to lose lo. Get your headcount right first then plan according to budget.
I'm also hoping that I won't lose that much for my banquet next year... some relatives quite buay zi dong (like the uncle in the above posts who brought his whole family and yet gave only $300 ang bao) - side note: did you invite the girlfriends of the cousins? If not, I don't think it's very nice of them to bring their girlfriends along without your invitation.
I just try to minimize my losses by only inviting the adults unless special circumstances like the parents are flying in for my wedding and the kid is too young to leave at home.
I just try to minimize my losses by only inviting the adults unless special circumstances like the parents are flying in for my wedding and the kid is too young to leave at home.
Ya. I'm also very worried that I will make huge losses from inviting these type of relatives. In fact, I have a relative whose whole family consist of 7 ppl and they are very notorious. They are not well liked by the rest of the other relatives as they always offend ppl with their words. They are well known to only give $2 - $4 in ang baos during CNYs. Despite that their family is not very well to do, but they're always wearing huge gold necklaces / thick gold bracelet during other cousins weddings, wearing all branded, every 2 months go holidays type. The father is sick and unemployed. The mother is also unemployed. So basically, my uncle and auntie are living off my 3 cousins... And the father is always looking for my mum and ask her for $$$ help whenever he have problems getting $$ from his kids!!! And their eldest kid (my cousin) keep pestering me for my wedding plans. Keep asking me every once a while in FB when am I getting married, what date, where? Whenever I post anything in fb, she will comment and ask me for my wedding plans even though the thread is something unrelated to weddings.. Very irritating. Finally, i saw her at a cousin's wedding last month and she asked again. I told her my date and venue (hotel). She even pass sarcastic remarks to say "somebody is very rich hor?" And even gave me the dirty look with disbelief for the entire night during the dinner.
Anyway, enough of my family woes. I am seriously considering not to invite this particular family as i'm 500% sure that they will come in family of 7 and I'm not surprise they will give a $200 - $300 ang bao max? Can I don't invite them since i only see them once a year for CNY or during weddings / funerals? Anyway, I'm not going to keep in touch with this family in future. They are from my dad's side and my dad had already passed away few years back. So I need not give them face, am i right? Really don't quite wish to see these ppl on my big day who makes me unhappy.. Wonder what other sarcasms will come out and spoil my big day. Anybody got any experience of inviting your relatives selectively? If i invite, I will make huge losses + hear their sarcasm. If i don't invite, i can save $$ + hear their sarcasm behind my back
Anyway, enough of my family woes. I am seriously considering not to invite this particular family as i'm 500% sure that they will come in family of 7 and I'm not surprise they will give a $200 - $300 ang bao max? Can I don't invite them since i only see them once a year for CNY or during weddings / funerals? Anyway, I'm not going to keep in touch with this family in future. They are from my dad's side and my dad had already passed away few years back. So I need not give them face, am i right? Really don't quite wish to see these ppl on my big day who makes me unhappy.. Wonder what other sarcasms will come out and spoil my big day. Anybody got any experience of inviting your relatives selectively? If i invite, I will make huge losses + hear their sarcasm. If i don't invite, i can save $$ + hear their sarcasm behind my back
if i were u i wouldnt invite them esp since u not going to see them anymore. it's yr wedding, u shld be able to do as you please haha
jkwedding308
Active Member
While we may want to save money, we should also be aware if we may be doing that at the expense of something else. For us, we didn't invite cousins' bf/gf but for those who are married, of course their spouses were invited along. That said, one of the cousins requested if he could bring his gf along. Although he's a distant cousin and not that close to us, we told him it's ok. We felt that it's not worth trying to save a lil extra at the cost of possibly severing family ties even if that cousin was a distant one. We were blessed as even when we told him it's ok to bring his gf along, he and his gf volunteered to help out at the banquet reception and they both ended up helping out the most in welcoming the guests and checking the table seating for the guests, even more so than other much closer cousins who volunteered to help out but ended up being late and not helping out at all in the end..
jkwedding308
Active Member
That kind of family that you described is not rare to come by. Such families are common - they're always trying to compensate for what they lack. Since this family lacks money, they try to compensate for it by buying and showing off their jewellery, branded goods and frequent holidays. They try to put up a front that they're not really short of money since they can supposedly afford all these other expensive stuff but this is actually done at the expense of buying other more necessary stuff or saving for a rainy day. They constantly feel that others may judge them so rather than being at the receiving end of getting embarrassed or humiliated by others, they end up ridiculing and offending others. It's a similar kind of defense tactic that makes up the psychology of bullies - bully others first before you end up getting bullied by others. I actually feel sorry for such people as they're constantly trapped by their own insecurities and can never be true to themselves as they keep putting up this false pretense as a wall that separates them from others. Whether or not to invite them to your wedding, it is ultimately you and your fiancé who should have the final say. While other relatives may be aware of this particular family's annoying flaws, will it raise a question if they see that all relatives including that from your dad's side are invited except this particular family? If you and your fiancé can find the graciousness in your hearts to extend to this family, then you can invite them despite their flaws. After all, during the banquet itself, there's only that much limited time you can spend with each guest so you won't have to face them or talk to them for too long. However, if you and your fiancé still find it hard to accept their presence at your wedding as they remind you of past hurts and heartaches, then perhaps it's better not to have them around if it's going to spoil your big day... The final call is yours to make...