hi, seeking for an answer. I now having this relationship for almost 4 -5 years , thinking of settling now , but due to character; immature, irresponsible, i feel that i am not capable of taking care of my so, but she now hope to settle down this year so wat shld i do . should i carry on or to stop ?
Confuse
- Thread starter keverin
- Start date
Then shldn't you work on yourself first? I can hardly encourage the marriage if you don't have a clue abt your life.
BUT... it's not too late to start from today. Get your ass going, stop procastinating. Stop giving excuses about jobs, habits.... and everything.
Pls don't yield to her inflicted pressure, just because you are immature and irresponsible (that wld be your reason).
BUT... it's not too late to start from today. Get your ass going, stop procastinating. Stop giving excuses about jobs, habits.... and everything.
Pls don't yield to her inflicted pressure, just because you are immature and irresponsible (that wld be your reason).
If you truly love her...you will know how to take good care of her automatically...
My SO used to be isolating himself from his family and friends...so, can imagine how good he is in taking care of other ppl....but i can see a very significant improvement of him taking care of me anytime, anywhere...
If you still can't figure how you should do that...ask your SO's feedback...like how she wants you to do better...
My SO used to be isolating himself from his family and friends...so, can imagine how good he is in taking care of other ppl....but i can see a very significant improvement of him taking care of me anytime, anywhere...
If you still can't figure how you should do that...ask your SO's feedback...like how she wants you to do better...
eh bro
at ur age i think u cant be lazy anymore la..future is in ur hand..a very long route ahead in front of you which require u to make ur own decision n planing.. we are train to take care of ourslf and "wife" in army..if you know how to take care of urslf ,i dun think there is any problem taking care of ur wife during oversea trip..
at ur age i think u cant be lazy anymore la..future is in ur hand..a very long route ahead in front of you which require u to make ur own decision n planing.. we are train to take care of ourslf and "wife" in army..if you know how to take care of urslf ,i dun think there is any problem taking care of ur wife during oversea trip..
tomasulu
Member
my first reaction was, you can't be that immature if you are have sufficient self awareness to know what your weaknesses are.
moreover, you can't be that immature if you care enough for your SO to consider marriage or let her go. let me explain, many guys in your position would continue to procrastinate and hold on to the girls even though they are not ready for marriage. what you are doing is actually commendable.
ok, so i have to ask... are you sure you are not using your so-called weaknesses as excuses to not marry her?
moreover, you can't be that immature if you care enough for your SO to consider marriage or let her go. let me explain, many guys in your position would continue to procrastinate and hold on to the girls even though they are not ready for marriage. what you are doing is actually commendable.
ok, so i have to ask... are you sure you are not using your so-called weaknesses as excuses to not marry her?
Seems to me you're just seeking justification to end the relationship.
Taking care of a person is not a school curriculum. Even my son at the age of 4 knows how to show care and "protect" his older sister. It is not about satisfying financial or other material needs. How you show your care and concern matters more than your current financial state.
Taking care of a person is not a school curriculum. Even my son at the age of 4 knows how to show care and "protect" his older sister. It is not about satisfying financial or other material needs. How you show your care and concern matters more than your current financial state.
green_tranquility
New Member
Souless,
Ok I'm making my guesses here, they may be wrong...
Maybe you have tried very hard to please your GF day-in and day-out but she is still always unhappy and finding faults with you? All these lead to you feeling like a useless BF, and inconfident of providing her a happy marriage? You are uncertain that you can filfull her expectations of a hubby, and do not dare to step into a marriage with her?
Ok I'm making my guesses here, they may be wrong...
Maybe you have tried very hard to please your GF day-in and day-out but she is still always unhappy and finding faults with you? All these lead to you feeling like a useless BF, and inconfident of providing her a happy marriage? You are uncertain that you can filfull her expectations of a hubby, and do not dare to step into a marriage with her?
adrian7818
New Member
Souless,
Pardon my frankness, are you trying to get someone to make a decision for you?
In my opinion, it doesn't make you righteous to admit that you're immature and irresponsible, or don't know how to take care of your SO. As what the rest had said, why are you admitting to it, and yet do nothing about it?
I've seen alot of people telling me that they have no choice, they are born like that or the situation left them with no choice. These are all excuses, seriously! And are the most lame ones.
You maybe thinking to end the relationship as you do not want responsibility. You just want to fun part of the relationship, and that's pretty much it. If this is really what you think, then pls let your SO go, and be sure that you don't go into another relationship to hurt another woman, coz you already know that you are an irresponsible and immature person, and you are never gonna to change...........
Pardon my frankness, are you trying to get someone to make a decision for you?
In my opinion, it doesn't make you righteous to admit that you're immature and irresponsible, or don't know how to take care of your SO. As what the rest had said, why are you admitting to it, and yet do nothing about it?
I've seen alot of people telling me that they have no choice, they are born like that or the situation left them with no choice. These are all excuses, seriously! And are the most lame ones.
You maybe thinking to end the relationship as you do not want responsibility. You just want to fun part of the relationship, and that's pretty much it. If this is really what you think, then pls let your SO go, and be sure that you don't go into another relationship to hurt another woman, coz you already know that you are an irresponsible and immature person, and you are never gonna to change...........
mitlancer75
New Member
"Pardon my frankness, are you trying to get someone to make a decision for you?"
Maybe tats y he say he is immature?
Maybe tats y he say he is immature?
may_be_divorced_soon
New Member
Souless,
Actually I dun quite understand the entire situation cos it seems quite ironical to me.
1st, you mentioned that your SO "hopes to settle down this yr" and you are not sure if you can provide her with a gd life. Next, you went on to say that "she is unhappy till now. every time , what you feel is her sadness.. and not happiness". Not sure if her feelings are what she geniunely feel or purely your own perception. Also we are not sure if she is unhappy and sad cos of your immaturity and irresponsibility. On this issue, I can't understand why your SO would want to settle down with someone if she is always unhappy and sad when she is with you... unless she is getting married for the sake of getting married.
Since you know that you are immature, irresponsible, then you should be changing for your own benefit which in terms would solve the problems between both of you. If you are not willing to change, come clean with her. If she still wants to marry you despite your immaturity and character flaw, then it is her choice.
Actually I dun quite understand the entire situation cos it seems quite ironical to me.
1st, you mentioned that your SO "hopes to settle down this yr" and you are not sure if you can provide her with a gd life. Next, you went on to say that "she is unhappy till now. every time , what you feel is her sadness.. and not happiness". Not sure if her feelings are what she geniunely feel or purely your own perception. Also we are not sure if she is unhappy and sad cos of your immaturity and irresponsibility. On this issue, I can't understand why your SO would want to settle down with someone if she is always unhappy and sad when she is with you... unless she is getting married for the sake of getting married.
Since you know that you are immature, irresponsible, then you should be changing for your own benefit which in terms would solve the problems between both of you. If you are not willing to change, come clean with her. If she still wants to marry you despite your immaturity and character flaw, then it is her choice.