Casual : Parents-in-laws' wishes for babies

Pillowcase

Pillowcase

Member
Actually, the hints are quite directed towards us after our engagement (even prior to it, during our wedding preparations).

They want grand-children as soon as possible because they claim that their life expectancies throughout their generations aren't long. We've both talked about it and won't be having one so soon until 4-5 years after marriage.

It's really amusing how they'd say it so casually and focus on the child-bearing process than embracing the love that will be forged into one. Can't help but feel extremely pressured into guilt trips because of our differing mindsets - hope this won't be an obstacle in our future new family ties. :(

Any of the BTBs having such situations too?
 


parents will be parents. Mine nagged for years, we had our son on the 7th year of marriage. There is no way to shut them and why do you need them to stop anyway? You have your plans with your partner and its your life. You cannot do anything about their mouths, they say and nag all they want.
 
Agree with Miloice, having children is your plan with your partner and its your life ultimately.
Believe me having a child of your own will not difficult for most, but the challenge is in the upbringing and the responsibility towards the child over our life time.
Only when you and your partner is ready for challenges and responsibilities that comes with the bundle of joy, don't feel obliged.
Having said that, having a child is a journey that couple should enjoy, it's a wonderful experience despite the added responsibility and challenges it brings.
 
Hi Miloice!

They actually didn't "nag" YET, but they were saying how the granddad/mums' lifespans didn't go beyond like, 50+ so they're expecting theirs to be similar as well. You know - that's a big enough hint for them to get a chance to cradle something in their arms before their time's up. Haha.. You know it's just the guilt-trip that goes, "Hey, they're going to be gone soon.. Quick, pop a baby of gratitude!"

Hi Georgian! Yes, we have already decided between me and fiance to not have a kid anytime soon until we're ready. We're pretty young, about 25 (Which MIL says we're not young at all anymore). We want to be fully prepared when we have our bundle of joy - not doing out because we were coerced to.
 
Maybe also having said that, I will feel that my only purpose marrying into the family to my parents-in-law is to make a kid - nothing else. LOL
 
well... how about a birthday wish every year for my wife to have a grandchild for my mum? :)
Sometimes, it is not hints. It is telling you straight on the face to have kids asap. Every meal, wife is not eating enough good food, so thin, that's why no kids yet etc. That we should go check up and see what's wrong with us.

Folks will be folks. I just smile and change the topic.
 
No need to be so stressed about it. After we got married, so many relatives keep asking when will have kids.but when my first one came out, everyone immediately start asking when is the 2nd one. This year we lucky surprise have 2nd child, some people still asking when get 3rd one.so..no point listening to others.unless they're ready to start helping out with looking after the kids and helping them get into schools, I suggest you 2 to just enjoy married life and parenthood will naturally come your way when you're ready. Cheers
 
me too. I don't blame them cos due to generation gap. Nowaday still have mother-in-law feel that a daughter-in-law duty is to bear a child for the family to carry down the line.
 
Older people and parents will always their own perceived "rights". Be sure that its what you and your spouse wants, then dont think too much over cos other people's views will always be different and perhaps selfish to some extent.

Having a kid is a long term thing so dont jus have for the sake of it. Bringing them up and the process of it are no easy feat. Kids have their own point of views when they are come to life. This is another challenge. Think through n be sure
 
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