Can this guy be trusted?

J

juergen

Member
A friend of mine asked me recently how I think of this guy. I named him "A". "A" has been dating my friend for a few mths. Nothing progresses btw them as my friend still haven gotten over her ex after their break up not long ago. Then my friend told me that "A" had previously invited a net friend from oversea (gal whom he know for barely a mth) to stay over at his hse. When asked by my friend, he says nothing happens btw them. 3 mths later, this gal went to his hse to stay over again.

There was another incident when “A†was watching movie with my friend, he accidentally sent a sms to my friend. The sms was intended to be sent to that net friend. The message in the sms was “dear dear, I am having tea with my friend now, will be home late tonight, tomorrow then call youâ€. When ask by my friend, he says it’s nothing wat…juz flirting with her only.

Wat I told my friend was that this guy cannot be trusted. Her friend also tells her the same thing. She knows that but somehow still not firm herself as she chose not to believe that he is this kind of guy. She thinks that it’s not really that bad as she is not his gf so he is free to do wat he wants. She feels that this guy is devoted and she is touched by his willingness to wait for her to be ready to get over her ex.

I dunno wat else I can advise her…guess love is really blind bah.
 


not getting over someone is considered less wrong than flirting?

a guy wholeheartedly and exclusively chasing one girl should not be bothered if the girl still 'hasn't gotten over' her x?

both parties are not totally guiltless here.
 
I'm pretty amazed at the level of thought processing... Shows that women can be cheated as long as u start well with them.. Once they trust u, u can get anything u want... Just so amazing that some adults seem to be more foolish than teens
 
Outsiders always see things clearer. She's juz letting her mind running ard in circles. Some people will realize it and wake up in time while some will juz continue sleeping.
 
there's a simple art of 'slipping out' of your body and just looking from outside...

whilst it's normally acceptable that 3rd parties can see better, do note this is not necessarily the case... it just acts as a convenient excuse to discharge oneself from any need to have a more objective mind. there will be more than a handful of ladies who will not fall for these lies... they are not 3rd parties, yet they are able to treasure themselves and not have their judgment impeded.
 
Hi Curious, I agree with your gal fren.. since they are not into a relationship, why does she need to care so much whether he is flirting or what? I guess your galfren just needs a companion and just nice he is there.. so it really doesnt matter whether he is trustworthy or not!
 
Hi Verge, the reason she ask me whether he can be trusted or not becuz she is considering him whether to accept him as bf now mah.
 
Curious, she is not merely considering. She is looking for consenses and for reasons to justify what she wants really.

In a way, she knows its a stupid thing but nevertheless wants to dive in. And she is just finding excuses for her to go ahead. She isn't really just blinded by emotions. Its simply her character to want things her way. She doesn't care if its realistic or not. Just want to be blind to enjoy the moment and hope for the best. With her kind of mentality, she will always make stupid mistakes and then later regret and victimize herself.

She doesn't take responsibility over her decisions and thoughts. She will definitely say she duno why she did it when fact is... SHE WANTS IT. The truth is ugly but its what is require to wake her up.
 
Hi Curious, but i tot in your previous post you said that they are dating for a few months? By the way, has your friend gotten over her ex?

Like what Milo says, i dun think she is considering. She is just looking for consenses and support. She has already made up her mind to be with this guy since he is the convenient companion. She might not want to go through the hassle of looking for a new one.

For girls, we tend or we can grow (pei yang) our love towards guys (more emotional :p ) so just remind her that she might get hurt again if she choose to listen to her heart now... its her choice...
 
Hi Verge,

Yes..they have been dating for a few mths but they have not progressed to the stage of bfgf. The reason is becuz she has yet to forget her ex. And yes I agree with you that she needs a companion and just nice he is there.
I do not know whether is it becuz she might not want to go through the hassle of looking for a new one. She juz say that she tot "A" was THE ONE until recently she had doubts on him. That's why she ask me whether he can be trusted or not.
 
actually, he alr flirting behind her back.. well, ok maybe not behind her back, since they arent officially tgt. but obviously he cant be trusted. i think even if not yet into a r/s, if a guy is serious abt a girl, he wont do such things ba.
n i do agree with the rest, she does want to get into a r/s with him, though somehow she is doubting him.. just want someone to agree with her, telling her yes yes yes, go ahead.
well, 男人ä¸å，女人ä¸çˆ±?? LOL.
 
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