Bridesmaids giving you more stress than help

[GwenXu]

I need a neutral point of view on this. I'm getting married in Jan 16 so I asked my 3 closest girlfriends to be my bridesmaids since a year ago.
1st saga was deciding what color to wear for bridemaids.. I personally like turquoise or coral Pink theme but they immediately reject me citing tat they look ugly in those color.. so I gave in n managed to compromise on purple theme..
2nd saga I requested them to walk in front of me during my March in on my wedding. Cos it was part of my dream wedding.. but it was again rejected saying they feel embarrassing n they ask me to show proof to them where got bridesmaid walk in with bride one! I gave up arguing..cos I dun feel the need to justify my wishes.
Lastly none of them plan for my hen's night.. I even have to fix a date with them and make sure they are free. They blame me for not setting the date and telling them wat to do earlier.. I seriously thought they will throw me a surprise party...isn't tat wat ur girlfriend will do for u?
Many other suggestions I made were ignored and must go their way.
My heart went cold after all these saga.. I'm been a bridesmaid before and I will nv object the bride's wishes, instead I'll make sure she gets wats she wants.. I'm tired of being told wat to do and trying to please everyone.... why are my closest frds doing this to me? They are super experienced bridemaids too... . Wat is my rights as a bride? Shld i fire them now?

 

[naiyoucreamy]

Dun be too upset.. no hen's night is not the end of the world. None of my friends planned hen's nighf too. I do see bridesmaid walking in front of the bride but that was during a church wedding. Dun be too stress too! Jy!

 

[Wen Xuan]

Babe, dun feel upset of it. I do have problem with my bridesmaids, but different from u, i let them.decide the theme color they like, which causing them to feel i am too easy going. To me, i just want my bridesmaids to feel happy and comfortable with what they are wearing, be it pants or dress, as long as it looks presentable.
My friend also get her friends' help to march before her but that one was during their solemnisation ceremony. For actual day wedding, her dad was the one who marched together with her during the 1st march, and the groom was Waiting near the stage to ,'take over'.
As for hen's night, most of my friends dont even have it. Hence i hope u dun feel.so sad abt it.
Just relax and prepare to enjoy your big day in coming month.

 

[GwenXu]

Haizz i doubt that there will ever be any stress free bride ever! the real upsetting thing is that I thought I meant something to them.. Cos frankly speaking if its their wedding, these are things tat I'll auto fulfil for them without qns asked. Instead all I get is criticism on my choice of bridal shop, my plan for actual day etc... it's like having to clear my proposal with several bosses..
Maybe this is a common phenomenon in all weddings..I just thought I will have an easier time considering their experience level and our so-called sisterly bond..

 

[starx]

Forget moping about them. It is your fiancé that you're marrying and that should be something to look forward to. Honestly, rather not have such friends who put themselves first instead of you, especially when it is your big day. If I were you, I'll sack them all and find true friends who care since they are not worth keeping anyway. If they find it such a hassle to be your bridesmaid, then don't be. Sorry if it sounds harsh but sometimes we have to accept that friends come and go, and gotto focus the effort on true friendships.

 

[miloice]

I need a neutral point of view on this. I'm getting married in Jan 16 so I asked my 3 closest girlfriends to be my bridesmaids since a year ago.
1st saga was deciding what color to wear for bridemaids.. I personally like turquoise or coral Pink theme but they immediately reject me citing tat they look ugly in those color.. so I gave in n managed to compromise on purple theme..
2nd saga I requested them to walk in front of me during my March in on my wedding. Cos it was part of my dream wedding.. but it was again rejected saying they feel embarrassing n they ask me to show proof to them where got bridesmaid walk in with bride one! I gave up arguing..cos I dun feel the need to justify my wishes.
Lastly none of them plan for my hen's night.. I even have to fix a date with them and make sure they are free. They blame me for not setting the date and telling them wat to do earlier.. I seriously thought they will throw me a surprise party...isn't tat wat ur girlfriend will do for u?
Many other suggestions I made were ignored and must go their way.
My heart went cold after all these saga.. I'm been a bridesmaid before and I will nv object the bride's wishes, instead I'll make sure she gets wats she wants.. I'm tired of being told wat to do and trying to please everyone.... why are my closest frds doing this to me? They are super experienced bridemaids too... . Wat is my rights as a bride? Shld i fire them now?

If your dream wedding is so important to be done that manner you want. You need to communicate out front, if they are not agreeable, maybe you could consider to employ people to do it professionally instead?

Now, the expectation for friends to throw a party for you. Humm.... how is your relationship, are you guys proactive organize such things? How to give a neutral view when not understanding your relationships with your bride mates and your personalities. There is no hard and fast rules. Expectations leads to disappointments.

 

[Pillowcase]

My bridesmaids were all picky too, but I decided on a dark color uniform theme whereby they get to choose whether they wanna go with pants or long/short skirts with the top. I wanted pastel colors (not everyone can pull this off) initially but in the end I'm like "oh what the hell" and conceded to the best theme I can allow.

For hen's night, perhaps your expectations were too standardized? You shouldn't expect your friends to "surprise" you. These kinda standards have been set by western societies and settling amongst our culture too. But to be honest, if you know your friends are not planning to do anything for you, if they do not have the initiative for it, then YOU should tell them to plan one day/night for you to celebrate your final singleton moment, instead of expecting it?

And as most of the forummers have said, the wedding is about you and your fiance. A hen's night or not is not important. Ask yourself, if this "night out" is really all that important or free-ing for your last singleton moment? If you'd just want a simple high tea or outing instead, just let them know, I'm sure it's doable.

Sometimes, you may want to do away the bridemaids entourage even, since they are so unwilling to compromise to you?

Saves alot of headache and politically-incorrect situations