Boyfriend vs bagfriend - What does it say about a guy who carries his lady's handbag -- gentleman or

Clarifications:

1. Flyingirl, I've never deleted my post - why should I? I'm never afraid to offend if that's what ppl perceive. I'm equally mystified why my post 'disappeared' just like that...thanks for reviving it because I feel really strongly about what I said still.

2. Vios, you're mistaken. I said I die die will hug my hubby tight and not let go NOT because I think he's a gentleman. He's not the type who opens car doors lah c'mon. I said that because I personally don't like a man who is too conscious of his personal image in public. I had dated men like that before. My banker ex bf was like that. He'll never make himself a 'nuisance' in public for the sake of humour type. He'll think it's not lucky for men to buy women's undergarments or what too. That's what I like about my guy - he's not concerned about all these. Also, those comments irk me not because my hb is the atypical type who doesn't mind carrying women's bags in public. The comments irk me generally because I think ppl are too conscious about their image and start attaching silly values like being gay or sissy if a man were to carry a handbag for a woman. It only shows how narrow minded some ppl are. I'm indignant because I was once a bisexual (if this can finally convince you) and I think the society or rather the narrow-minded heterosexuals simply think too much and express their displeasure for homosexuals in multiple ways through their puny framed minds on an image of a 'manly man'...what nonsense.

Like what sm said, I think there's more to life than to analyse and think men r sissy because they carry women's bags.
 


I don't really care what other people think about me.. when I am carrying a woman's bag.

But I do care and think that we are quite a pathetic lot to even want to debate about such a minute issue.. don't we have more pressing issues at hand?
 
"i just don't see the rationale of carrying and buying feminine stuffs equate to being more gentlemanly or more confident - on a guy - like what denise and milo have respectively expressed."

That is not really what I said. I said nothing about it being more gentlemanly. This is what I wrote :
"it doesn't mean anything other than that guy isn't so insecure about his own pride. Nothing much to think about over a bag."

What I'm saying is that guys that does it without minding it, is confident that it doesn't contradict with their gender traits at all. It is not saying that they are more confident than other men. I said nothing about other men at all. Its about the guy that does it. He is confident that it has nothing to affect his pride at all. Simple as that. When I tell you this durian is yummy, I really mean that. I don't suggest to you other durian sucks and other fruits are just not as good. Funny how folks do not see the direct message but want to read beyond meanings that isn't there.

Anyway, I agree with sm. Why spend so much time to discuss about this in the 1st place? really boliao leh.
 
Denise and Flyingirl, the only folks that can delete the post is the admin. You cannot delete your post. You can only modify its contents within 20 mins. The entire post is deleted. So, its done by the admin. Period. Nothing to dispute nor suggest about this one. This is a fact.

Why they do it? Was it a request by some user? You gotta ask the admin instead.
 
pls hor, this is not intended as a debate when it serves no purpose to be debated. it's meant to talk cock right from the start... no need to spend more than 2mins for each written post.

funny.
 
denise, ok... noted, understood. yah it works for some guys like your hb. however, not all induce certain preconceived notions - on another note, just individual preference.

milo, admittedly i read it in a different light because of the choice of words - "insecure about his own pride" in your earlier post.
 
i dun mind carrying a girl's bag if she actually gives me enough time to know i'll be doing that. i dun wanna walk down orchard with a handbag that doesn't match my clothes... so if she tells me she's carrying what bag, i can at least dress to match the bag.... including my shoes.
 
it's as good as asking him to wear my heels.

come on, it's JUST shoes right?

my personal opinion still.

happy.gif
 
If its for a reasonable reason, why not? But, could you suggest some under normal circumstances?

I don't wear them for really practical reasons. Its definitely not even apple to apple comparisons. You know it but just trying to voice out for the sake of doing so. Trying to be witty with a really lame and stupid point.

And if my wife feet hurts, I don't mind going bear foot and offering her my shoes. But, probably it cannot fit either.
 
to me is REALLY apple to apple comparison.

then again, its my opinion like mentioned before.

last post here, seems like most here can't accept other people's comments.

cheers!
 
As mentioned, please provide the reasons under normal circumstances that would require a man to wear his partners high heels. There isn't any.

"it's as good as asking him to wear my heels." And it not asking the man to do something against his will. Surely one can tell the difference.

Its a stupid point. Period.

"seems like most here can't accept other people's comments."

actually, this is best applied to your own message. Is asking you to point out the relevance and purpose too difficult for you? Your intention is only to argue for the sake of doing so. And I'm pointing it out frankly. It reflects perfectly about your thinking.
 
flyinggirl,

And why you can't accept other people views as well. Most of us don't think carrying a woman's bag (for his partner) has any connotations of being sissy. But you insist it has to be and you even liken it to asking to wear a woman's high-heel shoes. Isn't that a bit too far fetch and unreasonable?

What is the purpose of wearing the high-heel shoes when it won't physically fit in the first place.

And if you want to quit this post just quit. Don't make it sound that others are unreasonable and you are the only reasonable one - when in fact you have no point to argue and just storm off.
 
flyinggirl, don't be so far fetched lah.

I can carry my wife's handbag for her but I jolly well can't wear her heels right?

so where's the apple to apple comparison?

jesus...I think u need to think first before u post.
 
Why shouldn't I be taking it literally? The entire purpose of using this analogy is to intentionally make it sound totally ridiculous and unimaginable. There are valid reasons to help with a hangbag but not so in wearing our partner's shoes.
 
Why can't she think it is ridiculous? It's her mentality.

Look, just do what you think you and your partner are comfortable with. Why stretch this so far as to find a valid reason???

A lot of things we do have no reason and need no reasons. If you are a considerate husband or bf, then you are. Do you need reasons?
 
She can think it is ridiculous.. but we have to think in terms of reasonable expectations.

I believe the intent of the guy carrying the gals bag is important. If it is to help the partner and to off-load.. I don't see any problem.

But if the guy genuinely like a woman's bag as accessory... then it is reasonable to see it as ridiculous.

Otherwise it is reasonable to see the guy as being helpful.
 
Some women will give you extra brownie points for carrying her handbag while others will not. Simply that.

Just because you are being considerate other people must acknowledge that you are considerate meh?
 
being or looking gay can be cool.

concentrating on being yourself, not caring what others think when you are being yourself, is cool

i like bryanboy.

you should see his blog. his signature posture is arm straight up, woman's bag in hand.

a girl who makes a guy carry a small bag is effecting a gesture of 'staking a claim' on him. it is a psychological thing. a guy who goes along with this is subconsciously being a willing partner in this psychological role-play.

nothing wrong about that. they are involved in nothing more than some sort of courting ritual.
 
"But if the guy genuinely like a woman's bag as accessory... then it is reasonable to see it as ridiculous. "

Exactly.
 
I have gay vendors to carry designer women tote bags very stylishly and it goes with his attire. But it is his own handbag, so he looks darn cool I find.
 
sm, other than being helpful, I did mention another simple reason. I rather my partner to be hugging me than the bag! When her hands are full with her bag, naturally, I will help her with it and free her hands.
happy.gif
 
to elaborate more on my previous post ...

===============================================
a girl who makes a guy carry a small bag is effecting a gesture of 'staking a claim' on him. it is a psychological thing. a guy who goes along with this is subconsciously being a willing partner in this psychological role-play.
===============================================

a handbag contains a woman's intimate belongings.
when a woman places her handbag on the person of her man, it is symbolic that she is appointing that person into her intimate circle.

may sound absurb when i verbalize it. but in pyschology a woman's handbag is a symbolic object pregnant with meaning.
 
I know a lot of woman are very guarded about their hand-bags and would not let a man touch.

My ex-wife was ok.. she let me and asked me to carry at times especially when she was in the thick of action of shopping.. she would forget about her hand-bag and it was good that I took care of it.

On the other hand, some of my few ex-gfs are very guarded - wouldn't let me hold their bags for them. Even insisting on bringing it to toilet. Some are casual about.. I guess it depends on her character.. and how close.. if already wife then it won't carry any special meaning..
 
Aiyo..flying girl, key words are 'wearing' vs 'carrying'. I think wearing has a more serious connotation like as if the man is cross dressing but carrying a handbag for a woman doesn't constitute that right? Again, if you think hard enough or pay attention to fashion, you'll notice that men carry totes too and men also wear shoes with heels and some of them can really look good!
 
To go to a public toilet, I usually need to use tissue paper, toilet seat sanitiser spray and maybe even sanitary pad/pantyliner. I can't be holding all these items in my hand what.

Female washroom has a hook in each cubicle, for us to hang our handbag while we get busy.
 
May,

as an innermost thought attached to an emotion, i'm fine with "when a woman places her handbag on the person of her man, it is symbolic that she is appointing that person into her intimate circle."

but not as a base reason for a bagfriend.

Like i mentioned, it's one thing to seek assistance from her guy - when geninuely required - but it's another matter altogether when women intended to stake claim or impose some sort of authority over her guy. i seriously think that the latter is disgusting.
 
milo, kena some shit as soon as i stepped into office yday morning, so my previous post was short.

what i was trying to reply is that it might not be exactly pride or confidence for guys who doesn't fancy carry a handbag - without reasonable grounds - and i was really reading your post in that context which i thought was not true at all.

it's good that denise could relate from her own experience which is understandable to express. but simiarly, her post looked like it is intended to categorise every person who doesn't say aye - in a certain group (although she was replying to flyingirl) - well, not everyone attached some sort of labels to it and certainly, not every guy like her hb loves doing it. we have different levels of self-image.. nothing wrong abt it.

just that some of you make it seem like it's overly self-conscious, some sort of monstrous pride or certain opinions that are poorly-assumed and ironically similar to the 'gay' labels on these bagfriends. i don't think so because ultimately, it's an expression of individual preference which is taken into account as much as the cliche expression of "who cares what everyone is thinking".
 
vios, every person has a different reason. I'm completely cool and understand for sure it might not just be pride or confidence FOR GUYS WHO DOESN'T FANCY CARRYING A HANDBAG.

That is why I'm ONLY talking about guys that don't mind. For sure, for one to not mind, he is confident that it has no issues and conflict with his pride. I made no reference and suggestion about guys that do mind. Because, they can mind it for many reasons. Be it shallow or not.

You still don't get my analogy about durians meh?
happy.gif
 
honestly i dun mind carrying a bag as long as the reasons are chivalrous or practical.... no need to explain to anyone...
 
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