Anyone feel this way when staying with in laws?

L

lost_girl

New Member
Im currently pregnant n have been staying with my in laws for coming to 4 years now. All this while, whenever my in laws whole family is here, i will feel like an outsider n feel out of place. Its worse when my mil n sil are the very observant type n will observe me in whatever i wear at home n what u do.

Now that im pregnant n resting at home, i feel so out of place at this place till i dont even want to go to the kitchen to get water to drink or to get something to eat knowing fully well that my sil is there to constantly observe what im doing. Its oversensivity on my part but i really really wish n beg my husband to quickly get a house n move out. But he keep on insisting to wait till the market property prices fall further next year n to wait for my baby to be born next Jan before we start looking for a place. But i dont know how much longer i can take it already. I really wish i can have a home to myself where i can really fully relax n be at ease...
 


i alreadey not at ease whenever i am at my bf's hse .. machiam invisible..or maybe cos i quiet type.. n not used to talkative family..if own mom nags or do someting i don like ..at least i can say her...not the case when i at his hse.. n when new hse comes in jan 09.. his sis & mom will sonner later move over w us too.. i very big phobia now..esp the financial burden to yang both of them.. n be their maids cos of diff level of cleanliness etc... help..

sometime guy really turn blind eyes to things tat gers complain de.. esp preg woman so emotional this period.. i can sense your unsecureness n inflexibility tomove at ease... think this prob happen eerytime still de.. old fashion ppl etc.. ppl still not totally independent yet... couple rely on each other..parents on kids.. etc.. then prob start occuring.. i also cant help..cos i also got this issue.. i tinkin of gettin marriage conselling now..headache..
 
try talking to your husbands and tell them that you are at near breakdown point. Perhaps tell them they had to do something quickly. Having a own place to stay is always better. Tell him all the benefits of staying out. Perhaps renting a place outside for a while till buying a new home. You MUST tell him the seriousness if nothing is done. He may think you throwing a tanthrum or perhaps tell him its affecting the baby's growth cos you are near breakdown.
 
I can totally relate to your insecurity and uneasiness. I feel for u esp now that u are pregnant and your mood and emotions during this period of time can affect u tremendously.

for my case, i'll be getting married next year in Jan and will be staying with my in-laws. As the day for my wedding draws near, i'm getting more and more depressed and dread the thought of staying with my in-laws. Like u, whenever my FH has got family gatherings, i feel uneasy. I feel that i don't fit in and yes, like u, i feel out of place. At the dinner table with them or with his parents alone, i'll just quietly eat my meals.. hoping that my "ordeal" will be over soon. I'm uncomfortable even joking and talking to my FH in front of them.

What's worse for me is my FH travels for his work and sometimes he can be away for a week. So the thought of moving in after marriage is really disheartening. I can't imagine being in the house with them without my FH around.

I've spoken to him about my fears and he kept assuring me that his parents are fine.. don't worry abt them.. and that the house is big and i'll have my own personal space. But i just can't be "within my own personal space" right? I still have to make an effort to go talk to them and so on. I can't just be next to them only when my FH is around.. it's not so nice.. i'll be seen as aloof but the thing is i am not. I've tried striking a conversation but i feel we have no common topic.

His parents, esp his father, are the prim and proper sort. Perhaps it's also our family background. His family is quite well-to-do whereas i come from a humble family background. Their friends are a bit more high-class. Both his sisters married quite well-to-do families.

Sometimes when i think of this i cry over it. I know we will never get to stay on our own cos my FH already said he is the only son and he has to stay with his parents, even though i long for a home to myself....
 
i tried talking very hard to my husband already but he still insists wait till next yr when the prices of property goes down even more. I can understand where he is coming from. I can only have to tahan till God knows when.

All along, my bedroom is just like my living room. I stay inside practically the whole day, all made possible with an attached toilet in the room.

Just yesterday evening, i only wanted to have some private conversation with my husband in the kitchen as i do not want his mom to keep asking us what we are talking about when both of us are talking in the living room. But then the mom purposely came into the kitchen n pretend to get something to eat n tried to listen to our conversation. I can tell she is acting in the kitchen cos when she came in, her actions arent natural at all. She doesnt know what she wants to do in the kitchen n in the end just anyhow grab a bun n look at what we are talking about.

To be fair to her, she is quite ok but her kayporness which i face everyday (many times a day) is really irritating me. I can be holding an apple in my hand n she will still ask me what i am holding on to. I can be drinking plain water n she has to ask me what i am drinking. When i am talking to my husband she will 100% interrupt us n ask us 'what' 'what'. I just feel that not every conversation must include her inside. Sometimes it could be trivial matters n it really seems unneccessary to have to repeat everything to her. Sometimes i can come down holding onto a plastic bag to bring to my sis place n she can just stare at the bag n ask me what's inside. Plsssss..... cant i have some privacy in my own matters??? She is considered a mild case, wait till my sis in law comes over, then she is really the ultimate kaypor woman in the house.

When the 2 of them are together, they are really really kaypor. They do things like checking what kind of clothes i buy n examining the quality of my clothes. This happens when my sis went overseas n bot me some branded t-shirts n they started to examine it when im not around. They even have the cheek to tell me the t-shirt quality not bad hor, we touched n we know it.

n many times when im upstairs (they dun know), they will start talking about me. I just kept quiet n listened to their conversation n just ren as to how kaypor they can be towards my own matters. Everything that i do is not good enaf for them. Im really fed up n i sometimes hate my husband cos he says he will move out but i dun see him taking any concrete actions to look around for any apts.

Im sorry, this posting is so long. I really really need to vent out.
 
hi,
i totally understand how you feel. Im in the same situation as you, except that Im not pregnant. Just like you, i am totally uncomfortable with staying with my inlaws.

My FIL is a MCP..everything he says is right. No one has the right to object him in the house. No matter what you do has to go through him, regardless of choosing BS or even PG/VG.

My MIL is an ignorant woman who has been a housewife ever since she was married. She is like a frog in the well and knows nothing about the harsh reality world outside. She thinks that what she knows is the truth and often jump to conclusions. Many a times i have been call a liar and accused by her of many things that I did not do. In fact she even accused me of seducing my FIL before.

The worse thing is that my HB was not on my side. To him, his mum is a goddess and he cant accept anyone being rude to her, regardless of her behaviour. I have argued with him many times over this matter. I know that if we continue to stay with them, we will be greatly influened by his parents and that would put a strain on our relationship, which WILL end up in divorce.

He agreed to move out. Then, came e twist. His dad suggested buying a bigger condo whe all of us could stay 2gether. Bt this was not all. We were to buy a HDB flat, and rent it out, and half of e rental would go to paying instalment of the condo, which has only his dad's name. On hearing that he can earn an extra 1k income, my HB agreed to it immediately.

To me, its not a good deal at all..He has another elder brother who's working also. Why is it that he doesnt need to contribute and we need to? Is it juzt because we are getting married? Bt hey, he stays in a room and so do us, so why doesnt he need to pay a single cent. Also, in future, when my FIL sells the house and makes a profit, do we get back our share of $$?Will he even split e profit wif us? My HTB even told me that his dad intends to split his assets into 2 equal shares when he pass on...it is totally unreasonable that we have to pay 1k plus a month for the house, and his bro pays nothing, and at e end of e day, gets e same share as us.. I am not $$ face, but these are issues i need to think about, esp when we r going to have kids in future..In the event that somebody in e family is sick or gets retrenched, who is going to top up for e balance??

I shudder at the tot of tis. How am i going to continue my life with them. Have tried explaining to him my concerns, but he still refuse to listen..The lucky thing is that im not officially married to him right now. So should I or should I not?

Sry for the long post..
 
lost girl.. now ppty is already cooling down.. if you are getting pte condo i thin now is best time to get one.. justneed to work on the financial carefully.. for HDB flat.. it will never never drop in value de..(unless those v ulu places like sembawang, Woodlands where demand is v low) at least now cash above value has drop alot compare to last yr or ealy this year boom.. so is also good time to move out.. i have got mynew hew but got to stay w his family .. and i don really welcome tat..after all i m still a oustider..esp difficult when the guy's family is already v v v close then i come in to be a intruder.. woman's tendency is to be very sensitive, very jealous (for the guys' mom or sisters or even females cousins) or very trad'l famil which "zhong nan qin nu" esp if u are preg n your bb is a female..old ppl still think you give birth to a GIRL is totally your fault but they din know tat actually is the guy's gene tat define the sex of a baby not the mother..
 
guess we all got to think carefully if we shd marry our guy if it mean marrying the whole family and their habbits/characters/attitude/personality etc.. we still have time till our ROM.. (for me is on Jan 2009) for the married.. maybe more counselling programs ba..at least try to get 3rd party to narrow the differences abit and see if this work out..

for my i still wan to be w my bf.. but things gets worst last sat when we first time got a big qwuarel w his mom.. i am being accused as a girl who make my bf changed to Shout back at his mom for the first time (Actually my bf has shouted at her alot of times in past but his mom din seem to rem those but the "1st and only" time last sat cos my bf "defended me" haiz.. just cos of a small stupid issue...
 
kervin,
at least ur bf stil defended u..mine alwaes ask mi to giv in to his mum...haizz...reali at a loss nw...
 
depend on situations ba.. but most times his mom is very lao gu dong which my bf also don like.. so either he ignore her words/action treat as nothing happen else he will tell her off.. me n bf has same thinking in most tings de..just something he more hack care..care too much i think will die earlier..haha..so hack care lor.. open close one eye..
 
regardless of wat situation, he alwaes side his mum wifout tinking..Example when his mum accused me of seducing his dad, i questioned him abt y he didnt defend me, and ended up siding his mum. I explained to him e hurt i felt, and he stil questioned me whether i heard e correct ting, coz he didnt hear tat..@.@..

i oso duno whether i made e right choice or nt..i alwaes tot tat e person u marry will be there for u regardless of wat happen, and will stand by ur side and support u, juz like in e marriage vows...Bt now, im wondering if he can do tat..
 
precisely!!! the property prices are going down already but his rationale is it will drop even further next yr. I really jump whenever i hear him say this. We are looking into getting a pte condo n i was thinking even if u want to move out after the baby is born next yr (mine coming out in Jan next yr), u can start looking around to see which property u like already mah so that by then when the baby is born, moving out will be a faster thing to happen. Imagine, time is needed to find the right property at the right price, then the processing time to buy the place then the time to renovate the place a bit, all these takes months. If he wants to wait till after next Jan to take action, that means i have to wait till probably fastest mid next yr or late next year. I really cant take it anymore. That inconvenient feeling that i have everyday at home.

I just feel that men are so selfish. When we stay with their parents, everything remains the same for them. They continue to enjoy the same familiarity of their home, the same care n concern from their parents. They do not have to get use to new members of the family. Whereas for us, we got to get use to new living habits of not just their mom but also their bros, sis etc. We got to get use to the new environment they stay in n it involves not just physical adjustment but emotional adjustments for us too. Then when we want to move out, these guys will just find excuses to procrastinate. Last time when we get marry, his reason for wanting me to move in is becos his father has stroke, cant walk, cant talk so needs someone to be around. Now that the condition has stabilised, my husband now says must wait for the right time for the property prices. Ok lor, fine!! everything is his say. How stupid of me to give in time n time again.

Im just very tired of being around with his family without much privacy. Imagine going home everyday to a home where u dun feel comfortable in. Is that call a home then?? n sometimes i come home to find relatives or frens of my mil that i dun know n there i go again, after greeting them, i will just go up to hide in my bedroom cum living room.
 
hi lost girl,
u can try telling him tat now is a gd time to start hunting..Since it is known news that e mkt is going down, those who wan to sell will choose to sell now, rather than next year when e price is even lower. I koe, coz im hunting for a unit miself...

I totally agree wif u when u sae tat they are sselfish...they do not need to adjust to aniting, but they expect us to do so..In fact, when i go back to mi mum's place, mi MIL will ask y i alwaes go back, not nice to go back, tongues will wag, etc.. Even mi HTB oso dun wan go back with me. Reason being he'a a man and should not go over so often. Well, in my opinion, this is all BS. I tink its coz he doesnt like to leave his comfort zone. We, gals, have been sacrificing so much, in terms of work, family, etc, for their sake. Y cant they understand what we are going thru??

And, i foresee another prob for u if u kip hiding in the room..Ur MIL will start to say y u alwaes hide in e room, is it dun like to see them, y dun help ard e hse, etc..It is e usual tings when staying together...Haizz...hw i wished i can stay alone...

There were many a times when i tot of buying a hse wifout informing him...Though he will be angry, but at least I do not need to suffer tat much..
 
Hello XiaoKeAi,

Im at a point where i dun care if my mil starts to question why i always hide in the room already. I already have too many inconveniences in staying with them, if i cant even hide in my room, then i might as well dun go back anymore.

what u just said abt ur mil n hubbys' attitude towards u going back to ur parents place really makes me feel sad. I mean cant they understand that your parents are your family members n what is so wrong in going back often to visit them? What tongues wagging?? Nowadays pple dun care about such things anymore, why are they still so concern? n ur hubby, think u try to talk to him abt going home with u to visit ur parents. If u are willing to give in so much to stay with his family n face them everyday, what is it to him to go home with you for a few hours to visit ur parents??? Its not fair to you!
 
hi lost,
there's reali no fair or unfair when u luv someone...i cant blame him for not doing or doing someting...he oso neva point a gun at me and force me to sacrifice...guess i can onli sae tat im dumb...

i reali try my best to help around the house and all, but his mum is stil not satisfied. To me, she is a houswife, and it should be her duty to do the housework, while those working will bring in the dough. Bt apparently this is not the case. Im expected to work, give her $$, and yet, still do my own housework, PLUS the household chores...neva do, kenna scolding n black face by everyone in e hse...If im doing everyting, then wat is she doing..do le, complain sae i do not clean, might as well not do...wah lao..i reali feel like bang wall smtimes...If i were to be staying in my own house, i wun complain coz it is my own house and i can tidy it e wae i want...

Smtimes, when he sends mi to mi parents place, he rather wait dwnstairs for me then go up...im reali disappointed and hurt by his actions, bt he cant seem to understand whe im coming frm. To him, im juz being unreasonable and ridiculous..

In fact, Sun was mi bdae and we had a big fight over e hse issue again...Till now, we hav not spoken to each other...Though im alreadi midwae in mi preps, i reali beginning to hav 2nd tots...
 
my own younger sis whois marrried for two yrs.. her hus is now v v rich.. maybe even a millionair now.. but they all still stayin in MIL hse.. a 5 room flat flooded with 14 ppl (my sis family w 2 babies), Da jie family with 2 kids and other siblings.. also got to suffer in the unhealthy condition.. no fresh air..air con whole day.. my younger nephew just reach 1 yr old but already hospitalised for at lesat 6 times ba..not to say the numerous time he got to go to see doc every momth. they got own hse but rented it out cos hubby say wan extra income.. comon'on how a extra income of less then 2k can contribute to a millionair.. and forsake his own kids health??

watever it is.. DONT BE FINANCIALLY DEPENDENT ON YOUR HUSBAND... you never know when u might need to break free from him n u need all the money to take care of the kids yourselve..(plus if u are a hsewife..u totally lose touch to the outside world n u will find yourselve struggling to survive outside) keep secret money as much as possible..esp when u sense your marriage is shaky .. as a advice..
 
Ladies, tell me, am i oversensitive or what....
I notice that my mil seems to practise biaseness between me n her youngest son.

Eg: Just this morning, she will specially buy a packet of noodles for her son but nothing for me n instead asked me to eat the bread on the table.

Then at times, she will fry an egg n put it in between 2 bread for her son but nothing for me.

Or she will specially cook some noodles for him n nothing for me.

What i find it hypocrite about her is that cos im pregnant, she will always tell me (whenever my hubby- the elder son is around) to eat more n eat better. But why is it that whenever every morning when my hubby is at work, she seems to always give her younger son better food than me. I dun know if im oversensitive but i just cant help but feel that she is a bit hypocrite in her words n actions.

I have not told anybody abt this yet for fear that i may be a bit oversensitive.
 
lost,

u are not oversensitive la. I noticed tis oso..haha...Afterall, its her own son leh..of course sure treat him beta la..Though MILs alwaes sae "I WILL treat her like my dotta", but i feel most of the time is crap lor...If the whole world left 1 pkt of rice, u tink she will giv us meh...Sure is giv e son...my case is like this oso...im alwaes ranked e last..

N hor, from the MILs point of view, they wil sae tat it is e wife's duty to serve the hubby, but since her younger son is not married, she serve him lor..Dun expect her to serve you right.

One of my fren's MIl even asked her to mop the floor when she was 7 mths preg..Sm more not use mop hor..ask her to use cloth and kneel on e flr n mop hor...So horrid rite...

I know how u feel...At our own house, we are like little princesses, but once we go ova there, we are like maids..You are not the onli one in this situation..Guess we bth got to learn to shut ourselves out, and nt care so much..It makes life harder when we care too much..
 
If you tink in another wae hor, maybe she finds tat bread is healthier for you? Coz sm old pple very pantang, tis cant eat, tat cant eat...mayb the bee hoon gt 'black sauce', so she dun giv u? Alot of reasons de la...

Try to relax, dun tink so much...
 
Pls lor, i dun think she thinks that bread is healthier for me thats why ask me eat bread.
I find that she only offer me better food when my husband is around.

Like last Fri, i had my lunch (with veggies, fish n egg) which i think its pretty ok for lunch. Then cos husband is on half day leave, he also came home to have lunch n me being greedy pig joined him n ate a little more with him again. Then suddenly my mil brot out a plate of roasted pork meat n said its specially for me. Then i tot, if its for me, how come u never gave it to me when i had my lunch earlier on, why only give it to me when husband is around. Its like she is trying to show my hubby that she treats me well like that. So i find her actions very hypocritical lor.

Xiao Ke Ai, u are going to move out soon rite, pls move out the sooner the beta. Its better to live apart, relationships with mil will be much more cordial. Dun be like me stupid stupid move in when get marry n now have to suffer emotionally.
 
lost,

guess sm pple r like tat lor...i guess u can onli try to tolerate for e time being, and at e same time, pray hard tat ur hubby will kip to his words and move out...If by next year he stil dun move out, then show him u mean it..mayb move back to ur mums hse or wat..haha...muz pressure him..guys sm times veri veri stupid de..haha

na..i wished i could move out, but i cant..mi htb doesnt want to move out yet..Coz we are both going to pursue a degree, so he scare xtra financial burden...haizz...no xtra financial burden, but xtra stress burden for me..haha..

we are buying another hdb flat to rent out, nt to stay..coz nw recession ma...presume tat price will drop further nxt year ba...

other than unhappy abt e wae his family treat me, im oso unhappy abt e new condo tat e family juz bought..Though we are paying 40% of it, we have no name in e condo. I wouldnt mind it so much if his elder bro is paying e same amt...Prob is, his bro is staying wif us, and he is not contributing to the monthly instalment..E only ting he is contributing to is e electrical bills which we are also paying half..Very unfair right...Just bcoz he's a loser and cant get a gf, he gets to leech and stays for free..

Wats more maddening is tat, his dad says tat when he pass awae, e hse will be split into 2 equal portions. Wah lao...evey meh i gt to scrimp and save to pay for e bloody instalment, and yet end of e dae, i get an equal share with sm1 who onli leechs..I am juz so unhappy abt it..I rather spend e $$ on gucci bags or massage, or aniting, bt this...when i xpress mi unhappiness, mi h2b sae i veri $ face...its nt tat i $$ face..i juz dun wan pple to take advantage of us juz coz we veri 'qin cai'...

We both is tong ming xiang lian..haha
 
Hi ladies, dun be sad..u r not the only one ard! I am also another one who stay with MIL for 3 yrs.... which will be permanent n forever...sometimes really cannot tahan and feel like giving her a one tight slap!!! hahaa. JUST remember, never let the MIL take things for granted or they will ride over our heads!
 
I got my own house but I am staying with my MIL lor. No choice cos MIL oni person staying alone with a dog and it nt nice to let her stay alone so my hub bring her to stay with us. For me of cos I am not happy la... own house of cos oni for we couples... but i cant do much. Just hv to agree with my hub. Anyway I just got married and staying with her for like few weeks... as for now she is still ok.. but she get gancheong easily and when she do so she will do wrong thing...I oni can open and close one eye... cant bother wa i wear or do when she is around... sometime she will fold clothes for me and those undies i wear is too sexy for a auntie. I rem there was once she was in the kitchen drinking her coffee and she is looking up at the undies i hang up... she didnt say anything but I am guess she find why her DIL wear so sexy... haha...
 
I think when staying with in laws we should tell them what we dont like, dont just keep quiet!! but say it very very nicely lor...I guess they can understand, or if u dont dare, tell ur hubby to tell their moms..!! actually it is best for us to stay with ourselves right, problems come when in laws arnd!! .....be strong ladies!! in my case my hubby cant get along with my mom as I admit my mom sometimes act like a boss (like dont want to wash her dishes, cook and dont clean, etc).....but I tell my mom not do it as my hubby dont like it.....at the end my mom can understand....to be honest I get along better with my MIL hahaha......
 
oh man after reading the posts, i'm afraid of staying with my MIL.. getting married next oct and will be staying with MIL for at least 1.5 years while waiting for my flat to be built...

I'm already having questions such as:
1. Will i have to do housework? (my HTB doesn't.. and i don't too at my own home)
2. Do i have to wash my own clothes (if yes, where do i hang my sexy lingere?)
3. Is it very bad if i hire a PT maid? the kind that comes once or twice a week to do house work... (haha yah i'm a lazy and pampered ass)
4. Can i stay 3 days at my HTB place and 4 days at my own mom's place until my flat is ready?
 
hi Eileen.....

1. If u staying with ur MIL,it is better if u share the housework or at least help ur MIL, otherwise they will think u'r lazy...

2. yes....u CANT expect ur MIL or anybody else to do that...., hang ur sexy lingere at ur room. After u become a married woman, it is our job to wash our htb (and our MIL clothes also if neccessary). Pls Don't show them u'r lazy, or u gonna be in big trouble!

3. no it is not bad at all, but discuss with ur MIL and HTB

4. Should discuss with ur HTB and MIL
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but usually if u decide to stay with MIL,it is weird to stay in ur mom's place also . Better if u just visit ur mom's place but not stay overnite...

One advise, married is about giving and not receiving. If you'r not ready for this, it's gonna be hard for u in the end....believe me! I've been through it....dont expect ppl to do this or that for u, but what can u give to them
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ur marriage life will be very happy if u have this principle...:D
 
hey eileen, i'm now staying with my in-laws too in a small 3rm apartment but touch wood, everything is fine so far for the past 6mths.

1. i dont do my own hsework at hme too but i do some hsework at my in-laws place cos u cant expect ur in-laws to 'serve' u right? minimally, have to change ur own bedsheets, wash own clothes. i tink nt nice to leave everything for them to do...

2. yes, have to wash own clothes....i just hang it lor..hahahahaha...otherwise how?!

3. i tink PT maid idea is ok...
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4. currently, my arrangement is from mon to fri, i stay with my in-laws and go back to my parents plc on weekends and stay over nite too! my hubby moves together with me and so far, both sides happy and we happy too!

www.e-sas.com.sg
 
sigh... i'm fine with washing and changing my own bedsheets, cleaning my room, washing the kitchen...etc but washing my mil's clothes is abit too much right?

ok i think hiring a pt maid is the way to be now.
 
Wah... after hearing alll the stories made mi feel less sad and less weird... 
btw I'm consider a young mum of 23 yr old wid 2 kid 2yr n 5mth, n still left 1 yr of poly to finish. 
I always feels like a alien Wen in his mum pl rite aft married. I still tot I am de only one tat feel tat way. 

for me I feel should never let dem do the trad stuff nv believe tat no bath mean no pain during confinement as even old man old still pain. 
I at my own hm also nv do house wk dun ask me come his hse got to wash MIL n FIL underwear so I nv did once of washing of their laundry , since there is only one washing mAchine Always gt to q then I always brought my clothes hm to wash. been once hint to hung their clothes but I jus say nix Togo shopping as meetin frens, I nv start once, feel got once meants got twice den forever their maid, haiz imagin I 20 marrid all my fren stilll enjoying life. 

3 yr wid his mum I tot I gonna die nv tot there are worst, but they indeed wear mask before married n aft married super different loh. plus I alway stAyin room dare not go out scare next time they try ask me do this do tat say me this say me tat. 

haiz but I seriously feel we should try stand up dun let dem press, like during my first confinement she made me de drink so difficult drink I nv had a single drip of water den end up got to see doc tot can stay hospital den so much of sesamee oil I nv eat thus I slim like crazy fAst. 

sec confinement do at own mum hse den jus eat nor and shower also nothg happen. see ang moh also give birth but no nix all dis y we cl so special mus drink oil den eat Ginger den make ourself rot wid a danger of our newborn in our arm. 

but one sad part is I lose my eldest son due to she keep chanting breast milk de bb not enuff eat thus cry Wen I am dyin from engoughment n my flow are those shooting out kind, den change formula milk n slp in her room rite aft start formula milk n he nv like to slp wid us anymore  thus lost my elder son den Wen I back to sch den she put to a nanny tat gang up wid her to play trick to not let mi or hb to bring him out. 

now he only close to FIL n MIL n call her "mA ma or ah ma" sound like dunno if he Noe I am de mother anot. n in next mth I gt to leave my 6 mth ger I so scare I nv see her again, for her I purposely breastfeed her for 6mth den nv gt separated, and she is keeponsayin de baby not snuff eat Wen my baby is so so round already rounder den de first one loh. 

u Noe wat de nanny is those cut hair auntie keep on tak my boy head cut till lliks Frankenstein so ugly den MIL everytime bring back tat time say wah so nice so nice I'm like omg.. at tat time everydAy I cry to slp. now I am so lost whether will I lost my ger too anot... I tot of moving out but hubby jus wk 2yr I not wkin, wan also oli 4rm, dunno the every child get a home policy got wat stuff hope can really help but going to mp = lots of red tapes but no choice still got to do it later. I countin my days to April as poly sch reopen den:'( 

u noewat de nanny kpo ownself go find out abt de kindergarden at her neighbourhood Still Tinkin will use her I tot of go mp ask got sub can reduce lesser den 600 for childcare or kindergarden den can save a bit, the nanny damn shiok loh cut cut hair look aft my kid earn till rich man... old woman r scary frek... so scare I old turn into freak like dem, haiz so wish I nv get to live till so old n irritating
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I am also btb next year also shifting in my HTB house. after hearing all the u gal's comment , make me really very terrifield that too.
feeling insecure right now.. What to do ..
 
Thats why they are called mil or fil, not the same as your own mother or father.My mil is ok, fil is arrogant proud man.
 
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