Always the guys it seem for cause of Divorce?

W

w0nder

New Member
Being faithful, caring, loving, accommodating.. ending up complained being not good enough. May not have troed hard enough but is this an excuse to call it a quit? Or too faithful, caring, loving means boring?
Many of my friend's divorce cases are usually the hubby's at fault.
Tried very hard not to be and yet...haiz.
Have tried asking her whatz wrong, but answers are usually the general "Love lost".
Proposed conselling was refused ending with "Whatz the point?".
In the end, DOS.
I kept asking myself "Why" when I couldn't get answers from her.
Annoying don't you think?
The "Why?" keep surfacing, causing sleepless nights, low morale at work.
Sadly, when social friends asked "So howz your wife? No plans for children soon?", as social friends, you tend not to talk about it and answered "Oh, great, just not mentally prepared" and hopefully they kept quiet.
And when you have friends who tells you "Not sure to tell you or not, but I saw your wife with another guy the other day, everything ok?", I would tell them "Oh, that guy, I know, no worries, everythingz fine".
Guess I'm not the sort who flares up easily, make a big fuzz and act irrationally.
But keeping the pain & hurt within without talking to anyone (not even my parents) is a very very very painful thing.
All alone to handle the mental torture.
Gosh. Still the same question...."Why?"
 


Hi Moist,

Wonder said that she is not the sort who flares up easily, make a big fuzz and act irrationally. Do read it again.
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Hi Eliz & Moist,

Ha... I said, I am not the type who flares up easily & make a big fuzz...Ha..

Didn't say she is or not.
 
Its does not matter who caused the divorce does it? When it ends it ends. When one party wants out... and refused to try anymore... its no use.... it takes 2 hands to clap.

Usually the one that wanted out of the marriage will be able to cope better than the one left behind wondering why? We can analyse till death but does it matter? We will just be left reeling in pain and having a lot of "if only"s.

Wonder, I understand what you are going through. Hang in there, really i suggest u find your best buddies and talk to them, u need an outlet, it can be overwhelming especially at the initial stage...
 
Hi Wonder,

I am a female so I think your wife is behaving this way cos she is no longer in love with the relationship that she had with you in the past. Feelings can change over time as we grow. I am telling you this because I'm considering divorce. I'm asking myself how should I tell my hubby of my feelings. In your case, would you prefer your spouse to tell it to you straight that she wants out?
 
I'm thinking to divorce with the guy ..

we has started our relationship since year 2006.
then ROM - Mid of 2009 ..
now is the beginning of 2010..

Bad news , a very bad year ..
he has an affair with his colleague since two months ago..

told me that he regret to married with me ..
told me that he can endure my temper ..
told me that he can forgive me everytime .. but why i cant forgive him this time..

told me that they were OVER .. but how can i believe him again ..

he hurt me so deep .. y he treat me like this ?
i really cant think of why .. why ..

Very sad .. really shattered my heart into pieces..
 
meplpaa, u are just married for 6 mths and this happen. have u seriousily thinking of leaving him. How are u going to survive the rest of your life with this kind of man
 
i'm getting information regarding on divorce .

I cant stand .. cant accept him anymore ..
I will not give him any chances to hurt me again.

if now i forgive him, then one year later .. he tell me again .. i really cant accept your temper again lei ..

moreover, he never think of resigning his current job. i also never ask him to this.

I gave him a lot of freedom .. till like this.
I let him have his own friends & colleagues social lives ..
i never check & follow him whenever they have gathering .. never suspect him..

Always believe him.. even he din ask me go out at weekends sometimes.. i still ok .. stay at home myself(we stay separately before & after ROM)
 
hi meplaa, i think we share the same pbm..
he told me that he cant stand mt temper aso but he agreed that i hv changed after married(temper better).
Even i hv given him my understanding of all freedom and time he need (when my grandmum passed away he came less than 1 hr to funeral and came hm drunk)he could say v hash things to me "u dun need me there, u jz feel no face i am nt there".
When i suffered from chickenpox, he not even there for me. Now he wants to divorce, jz simply "i feel no love, i dun even feel like doing anything for u".
My heart hv dropped into pieces when he say those words and he could even "attack" me by saying i am not a gd person at all..
I maybe believe that he could come to his sense one day but i will not be there anymore for him.

Some Men r selfish, they took for granted n when they wan to leave, they leave no pride for the woman that they used to loved.
Now i jz wan to slowly pick up all my pieces that he hv broken and made decision that no matter what i will live my life better alone (even i do not have my family)..
 
Of course there are people here... But how you expect them to answer with that kind of question
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Just post your feelings or questions and I'm sure someone will answer
 
Strongly agree !!! Men take us for granted. I worked 3 jobs helping him to clear his loan.. I myself took up personal loan to help him cos he has bad record with bank..

In the end, he said.. Love lost, duno how to face me anymore.. unable to communicate. He packed and left a day before my operation. I was alone at home for a mth, wound pain, heart pain, leaving a huge debt for me to settle.
 
Takes two hands to clap, doesn't it?

Women complain and whine that men take them for granted when they the ones who behave "doormatty".
 
divorce, nothing special, very common, just like receiving a grade in school.

have fun with it. life is beautiful many things we need to accomplish our dream.

for those who have bad past or history let me tell you something, to the very pathetic or sad people they tend to live their current life with the past memories, and to the happy people they tend to live their current life with future memories. it is your choice. i never look up with past because i know there is never anything good to look at it. i always look forward to the future or fantasy.

if you think it is bad it is bad, if you think it is good it is good. it is up to you.

for those divorce cases, live equally for happiness and passion if not, divorce. and you don't just sit down and feel sorry for yourself. you go out find a better partner than you have.

what i am saying is : don't let your past to bother you to pursuit your own happiness.
 
A married life is for both the couple to accomodate each other, nobody can compare the amount of love on each other..... Love cant measure.... Don't go around telling people how accomodating, how faithful or how caring you are (how do you measure)....
For a couple to leave each other, there is nobody to blame, but if you really want to blame.... Both of you are to blame.....
 
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