Here my story, I been with him since age 15. He is my lst love, we rom at age 25 and customary at age 27. Been 2gether for 16 years, I am 31 tis year. Just a few weeks back, he mentioned abt divorce with mi, I was shocked abt it. Same as other women, gone thru emo-cycles, anger, hurt and denial. Trying very hard to savage the marriage till I found out he had another hp with him and also a pic of the ger and him hugging 2gether. My heart dropped. Been trying to savage this marriage with him and begging him to tink thru and save our marriage but he mention lost of feelings. It just happen between him and the gal. He say he feels comfortable with the gal. Of course la, the gal and him are now just BGR relationships, din give him pressures of family commitment and finances issues which a marriage has. I know the marriage can’t withstand the test of time. Same as other women faced, he come home every dae 5-6pm. Call him he din pickup calls. There is one time when he sleeping, his hp ring, I saw the ger number and I pickup telling her tat I his wife. The gal was shocked, she says my hubby told her he got no wife. I talk nicely saying it is my hubby’s fault, u and mi are women and u should understand how I feels. The ger says she din know and she understand and hope I let her call my hubby one last time, she wans to hear it from his own mouth. I even tell him I spoke to the ger, he kept quiet. Stupid mi tinking tat he know he is in the wrong, he will repent. The next moment, I found out he sms his guy friend, the one who introduce the ger to him saying “If my ger calls you , ask u abt mi, tell her I am not married yet†My heart dropped 2nd time. Thinking back, I was being stupid in asking him to stay, knowing keeping body but without soul. Luckily for my case, We have no kids involved and I am really grateful to my parents who are supporting mi. Din know tat my parents can be so supportive and accompany mi thru weekend and nites talking to mi to cut my losses and go. I felt so guilty tat during the times of depression, I even have suicidal thots. I should have tink abt them. These days are like hell, hoping tat I can see light at end of a tunnel soon like other women too. I make the decision to divorce and move on but have sms and call him telling him to discuss the divorce and splitting of items. But he refused to pickup my calls and return my sms, I dun know wat to do abt it. Since he wans divorce and been telling mi for last 2 weeks whereby initially I still pinning for reconciliation until the pic of him and the ger. Why he is still dragging it? Our current car is under my name, I told him since he is paying thru out. I will transfer ownership to him. The rest of the credit cards debt he owns is under my name. As long he return the debts $$ to mi, I trf ownership and ask him to pack his things and go. He still din call mi for discussion. What should I do?
Advise needed!! Divorce but hubby not cooperating
- Thread starter avery_l
- Start date
wat_are_dreamz
New Member
Hi Avery, i'm sorry tat things have turned out tis way w ur hubby. My personal opinion is tat smthg is going on between him n his gf. My guess would be tat he is having problems with his gf n he is avoiding u till then.
I dun mean to make u feel more sad but i think he is just trying to have u as a 'back-up'. If he can't salvage his r/ship with the gf cos she may not trust him anymore after speaking to u, then he will come back to u n not want the divorce now. If he manages to lie smoothly n say u are his crazy sister etc n the gf trusts him, then he will call u n be rude/mean n agree to the divorce immediately but he may not pay u back for the debts.
I know its tough for u cos u've been loving him for so long. But do rem tat a guy who cheats n lies likdat is honestly not a guy u can ever trust again, so dun let urself be hurt more in the future. Its a blessing tat u have such supportive n loving parents, so hang on to tat.
My suggestion is tat when u do speak w him, make sure ur parents or a witness is ard. Don't ever speak to him about finances or the divorce alone or thro sms/call. He can always go back on his words. Its hard to get $ back from a person. It may be easier for u to just take the car n sell it off for cash, as a repayment for his credit card debts tat u are paying for. Anyway, the car is under ur name. If u are sure about the divorce, go ahead n get a lawyer, move out of ur house etc. Don't wait for him.
I dun mean to make u feel more sad but i think he is just trying to have u as a 'back-up'. If he can't salvage his r/ship with the gf cos she may not trust him anymore after speaking to u, then he will come back to u n not want the divorce now. If he manages to lie smoothly n say u are his crazy sister etc n the gf trusts him, then he will call u n be rude/mean n agree to the divorce immediately but he may not pay u back for the debts.
I know its tough for u cos u've been loving him for so long. But do rem tat a guy who cheats n lies likdat is honestly not a guy u can ever trust again, so dun let urself be hurt more in the future. Its a blessing tat u have such supportive n loving parents, so hang on to tat.
My suggestion is tat when u do speak w him, make sure ur parents or a witness is ard. Don't ever speak to him about finances or the divorce alone or thro sms/call. He can always go back on his words. Its hard to get $ back from a person. It may be easier for u to just take the car n sell it off for cash, as a repayment for his credit card debts tat u are paying for. Anyway, the car is under ur name. If u are sure about the divorce, go ahead n get a lawyer, move out of ur house etc. Don't wait for him.
Avery: Sorry to hear that. He wanted a divorce as he wants back his freedom before the gal finds out abt it, but looks like his wish is not being fulfilled and thus, he could be busy pacifying the gal at this point in time to bother about you.
Are the both of you still living under the same roof? Ask yourself if you might give him a chance if he comes begging? If your mind is set on it, seek for legal means and proceed with it.
It is not easy, but remember if he does ask for a reconcilation instead, be sure to know the reason why there is a change of mind...
Are the both of you still living under the same roof? Ask yourself if you might give him a chance if he comes begging? If your mind is set on it, seek for legal means and proceed with it.
It is not easy, but remember if he does ask for a reconcilation instead, be sure to know the reason why there is a change of mind...
Thanks all for ur advices!!
Hi evon_pooh,
U are true. His friends sms him say "I say I his sister" Gosh! I really dumbfounded. The problem is the car he drove away and left hm. Even I wan to sell also dunno wr to find wor.
Littlewoman,
He left hm already and din pickup my call or reply my sms. I already convince myself not to give him another chance coz I can forgive but can't forget. I dun wan to give him another chance to bring another woman bk again in future telling mi again tat it just happens again. It is also due to sum other reasons as well tat I know I can't live with this person.
Janey,
ya I no longer wan to be manipulated by him. I will let him go. But he refused to meetup and discuss watever necessary to settle the divorce.
A veri difficult period for mi. Moods uncontrollable, can't sleep at nites and affecting my work.
Hi evon_pooh,
U are true. His friends sms him say "I say I his sister" Gosh! I really dumbfounded. The problem is the car he drove away and left hm. Even I wan to sell also dunno wr to find wor.
Littlewoman,
He left hm already and din pickup my call or reply my sms. I already convince myself not to give him another chance coz I can forgive but can't forget. I dun wan to give him another chance to bring another woman bk again in future telling mi again tat it just happens again. It is also due to sum other reasons as well tat I know I can't live with this person.
Janey,
ya I no longer wan to be manipulated by him. I will let him go. But he refused to meetup and discuss watever necessary to settle the divorce.
A veri difficult period for mi. Moods uncontrollable, can't sleep at nites and affecting my work.
agree with littlewoman, try to trace him out via his family/friends.. since u mentioned that his friends r quite close to him, even to the extend of covering lies to his new found love.
but if they decide to stand on his side as well, time to lodge a police report about ur car(which rightfully should be urs) and make sure u have the time to speak to him about divorce asap.
but if they decide to stand on his side as well, time to lodge a police report about ur car(which rightfully should be urs) and make sure u have the time to speak to him about divorce asap.
sgbabydoll
Active Member
If TS reports to the police that her car has been stolen, is she required to report this to her motor insurer too?
moistfaucet
New Member
of course lar, he will drag,
one women can provide him material another can provide him comfort, whatelse the man want ?
one women can provide him material another can provide him comfort, whatelse the man want ?
er avery.. u plan to wait for another 5 yrs with him marrying the other ger and enjoy life while using the car u bought with him? if he doesn't pay up the instalment, everyone will come after u since the vehicle is under ur name. and best of all, u wouldn't be able to move on.
with regards to money issues, i advice u not to wait longer. and i betcha he's having a gd time now. ever thought of the possible reason why he dun wan to settle divorce proceedings with u asap? most prob he's unwilling to pay alimony to u. escaping to his current gf and with u pinning for him to come back is the best scenario for him tt will ever happen. think about it.
with regards to money issues, i advice u not to wait longer. and i betcha he's having a gd time now. ever thought of the possible reason why he dun wan to settle divorce proceedings with u asap? most prob he's unwilling to pay alimony to u. escaping to his current gf and with u pinning for him to come back is the best scenario for him tt will ever happen. think about it.
Avery: There is no time limit in this case and why put urself thru such tortures? You will prefer to end it asap as well right? In that case, why not trace his whereabouts and in the worse case, trace him in his working area... I am sure he has to continue to earn his keep isn't it? I suppose the car shld be near those places too...
let that jerk stay away from your life..
Sell the car away since it's under your name now and if possible use the $$ where you sold and pay off him card bill. Cancel his card, don't let him use anymore.
You can go ahead with the divorce even without his signature. I got mine where my ex did not even bother to pick up his mail and calls from my lawyer. We process everything within 6 months. So long as lawyer has prove that this person has disppear or purposely don't wanna get involve they can take action accordingly. First of all you must let the lawyer know that he's doing alot of things behind your back, you don't even have to give them any prove.
Sell the car away since it's under your name now and if possible use the $$ where you sold and pay off him card bill. Cancel his card, don't let him use anymore.
You can go ahead with the divorce even without his signature. I got mine where my ex did not even bother to pick up his mail and calls from my lawyer. We process everything within 6 months. So long as lawyer has prove that this person has disppear or purposely don't wanna get involve they can take action accordingly. First of all you must let the lawyer know that he's doing alot of things behind your back, you don't even have to give them any prove.
wat_are_dreamz
New Member
Dear Avery, in all honesty, u have been v strong thro tis whole episode, though it must be v painful for u. U are doing a great job, more impressive than i wld ever expect myself to be able to do so. U ought to give urself a big hugz. =>
Its fair enough if u want to give him abit more time to reply u, but let there be a timeline. To sum up every1's advice, maybe u can give him 1wk to reply u. Just drop him 1 last sms to tell him to contact u to settle the divorce proceedings n financial matters. Then leave him alone. Start looking ard for a lawyer to help u with the proceedings. If he contacts u, then meet him up with ur gf or parents. If he doesnt contact u, get back the car which is rightfully urs n go ahead with the divorce. Don't bother abt transferring ownership of the car. Its a waste of ur time. Cancel his credit cards to cut ur losses so he cant sign anything more for his gf.
Be strong n move on with ur life asap, regardless of whether he co-operates or not. I know it is easier said than done, but u only live life once, so make the best out of it. Believe in urself n i'm sure tis sad episode will help u to grow n in time to come, greater blessings will come ur way.
Its fair enough if u want to give him abit more time to reply u, but let there be a timeline. To sum up every1's advice, maybe u can give him 1wk to reply u. Just drop him 1 last sms to tell him to contact u to settle the divorce proceedings n financial matters. Then leave him alone. Start looking ard for a lawyer to help u with the proceedings. If he contacts u, then meet him up with ur gf or parents. If he doesnt contact u, get back the car which is rightfully urs n go ahead with the divorce. Don't bother abt transferring ownership of the car. Its a waste of ur time. Cancel his credit cards to cut ur losses so he cant sign anything more for his gf.
Be strong n move on with ur life asap, regardless of whether he co-operates or not. I know it is easier said than done, but u only live life once, so make the best out of it. Believe in urself n i'm sure tis sad episode will help u to grow n in time to come, greater blessings will come ur way.
Hi everyone,
I already cancel his credit cards, the car is already paid off in full sum hence no need to pay instalments. Actually we also have other major problems. He wans to divorce with mi becoz he wans back his freedom to do his biz and other things, finding mi hindering him. Saying I and him leading different life goals which is veri true. From there onwards, our marriage gone dwnhill. He says tis is not the life he wanted, the kind of family life. He wans out and be alone. The ger he met is just he feels confortable talking to her and they just get 2gether. Met once and spend one dae 2gether eating and chatting. Send the ger to airport coz the ger not singaporean. Thruout talking on phone. Hurt and sad becoz he been avoiding mi but still can meet and send her off, pickup her calls ignore mine. Guess love is lost, they can be so fast in getting hitched amazing. Sori for the ranting here. Actually not supposed to talk abt all these anymore but oni the divorce.
I already cancel his credit cards, the car is already paid off in full sum hence no need to pay instalments. Actually we also have other major problems. He wans to divorce with mi becoz he wans back his freedom to do his biz and other things, finding mi hindering him. Saying I and him leading different life goals which is veri true. From there onwards, our marriage gone dwnhill. He says tis is not the life he wanted, the kind of family life. He wans out and be alone. The ger he met is just he feels confortable talking to her and they just get 2gether. Met once and spend one dae 2gether eating and chatting. Send the ger to airport coz the ger not singaporean. Thruout talking on phone. Hurt and sad becoz he been avoiding mi but still can meet and send her off, pickup her calls ignore mine. Guess love is lost, they can be so fast in getting hitched amazing. Sori for the ranting here. Actually not supposed to talk abt all these anymore but oni the divorce.
clipperjunk
New Member
the suggestion about reporting the car stolen is a good suggestion...just text him that you intend to do so if it's not returned with 24 hrs...
when a guy don't love you, they find all sort of excusses. main purpose is divorce, and that's all. they like to talk about freedom, hindering, boring lifestyle and family. trust me, all this is bull shit. They are just finding better excuss to divorce and they realise that they prefer someone else. than let go. he be chu yi, and you be the shi wu
Hi all,
He look mi up ytd saying he refused to pickup calls coz he needed sum time to tink thru. He mention the ger to him means nothing except he just needs a someone to talk thru his darkest days when he feels we had different directional goals in life tat he knows he can't fulfill as a normal husband.
To have children and be family-oriented and responsible to the family. He feels sooner or later he will bottle up within him and explode if not now but also in the next few years ahead wic he says it will be more difficult for mi to let go by then. He just wans to be alone doing his biz and stuffs. Most biz has high risk of failure rate and he dun wan mi to stay with him to take up the debts and suffer with him if were to fail.
His work, biz and the things he wans to pursue is top priority and will sure neglect the family if we were to have in future. I know in my heart I can't accept him bk either coz the future is so uncertain.
We talk amicably abt the splitting of items and stuffs. He agreed to all my requests. Things make a sudden change, after we finish talking abt our items.
We manage to talk like frenzs wic is weird in a sense. He ask mi on how I am coping and says he will always be there whenever I need help. I can call him anytime. He says to help mi slowly progress thru. I veri confused after he send mi hm tinking in my heart I still care abt his stuffs like I pack sum clothings and his items for him to take. Care abt how he is getting on outside , whether already found a place to stay, etc.
Hoping to see him but on the other hand, if I still keep on doing tat I will nvr able to forget and get on with my new life. Lost of how I am going to proceed frm here. Should I directly not see him anymore or do I still see him once a while as frens?? Veri dilemna
He look mi up ytd saying he refused to pickup calls coz he needed sum time to tink thru. He mention the ger to him means nothing except he just needs a someone to talk thru his darkest days when he feels we had different directional goals in life tat he knows he can't fulfill as a normal husband.
To have children and be family-oriented and responsible to the family. He feels sooner or later he will bottle up within him and explode if not now but also in the next few years ahead wic he says it will be more difficult for mi to let go by then. He just wans to be alone doing his biz and stuffs. Most biz has high risk of failure rate and he dun wan mi to stay with him to take up the debts and suffer with him if were to fail.
His work, biz and the things he wans to pursue is top priority and will sure neglect the family if we were to have in future. I know in my heart I can't accept him bk either coz the future is so uncertain.
We talk amicably abt the splitting of items and stuffs. He agreed to all my requests. Things make a sudden change, after we finish talking abt our items.
We manage to talk like frenzs wic is weird in a sense. He ask mi on how I am coping and says he will always be there whenever I need help. I can call him anytime. He says to help mi slowly progress thru. I veri confused after he send mi hm tinking in my heart I still care abt his stuffs like I pack sum clothings and his items for him to take. Care abt how he is getting on outside , whether already found a place to stay, etc.
Hoping to see him but on the other hand, if I still keep on doing tat I will nvr able to forget and get on with my new life. Lost of how I am going to proceed frm here. Should I directly not see him anymore or do I still see him once a while as frens?? Veri dilemna
Avery: Might be a harsh reality but isn't it better, at least u see his true colors.... It will only hurts more via all the comparsions etc, no point knowing those details anymore, he has make up his mind to leave the marriage, to be single and to be with the gal probably. Think of what u have to do next, allow urself to love urself more. It is not easy for anyone to go through a failed r/s, a love whereby it is no longer in existence.. U have been strong so far, endure the tough times and U will be able to see light eventually.
Avery: my posting seems to be in concurrent with urs. Hmm.. It is not impossible to be friends after a divorce/split but the bottomline is both of you can only do that after a period of time. There is always a cooling time frame for everyone to pick up the pieces before moving on. I don't know ur HB but to me, those are excuses and reasons on justifying his "affair".. It might be better to let nature take its course..
Avery: My story are nothing much as compared to some of our friends here... As some might be aware, something happened to my marriage in yr 08 as well... but unfortunately I am the one who committed the mistake... Thus, some of the reasons could be really simply excuses... I do agree that it is easier for us to talk to a third party on our problems at times but if this carries on in the longer term, issues such as communication barrier will occurs and we will simply drift apart. But then again, like I say, only u know ur HB well in a way to know if he is telling the truth...
One of the blessings I have received is my HB's forgiveness and today, we are happier together than before.. Communication is one impt thing that my HB and I learnt from my lesson...
One of the blessings I have received is my HB's forgiveness and today, we are happier together than before.. Communication is one impt thing that my HB and I learnt from my lesson...
wat_are_dreamz
New Member
Hi Avery, from wat ur hubby said, he sounds like a selfish person who thinks for himself n is just trying to find a pretty excuse for wanting out of the marriage, while not making things ugly. I might be wrong cos u should know him better than anyone of us here. But it comes to me as though he is just leaving a back route for himself, part amicably with u, just in case he needs to 'cancel' the divorce n be back with u.
Starting a biz will always have its obstacles n challenges. U have been with him for so long n should c his character clearly. The way he handles his finances doesnt seem like a stable matured careful man who thinks n cares for his wife n family. If he needed time to think before giving u an answer, he should have let u know. But his r/ship with his gf n lying to her repeatedly tat he is single is a terrible disrespect of the love n marriage u share. He ruined it himself.
It would honestly be better for u to keep a distance from him. Maybe in a few yrs time, the both of u can be frens again but not now. I know u feel close to him after sharing ur lives for so many yrs n its easy for u to look for him at times when u are sick, sad or tired. But do be strong n refrain from seeking the heart of a selfish man who has betrayed ur love n trust. Otherwise, u will be more hurt in the future, when he is a 'fren' whenever he has time but disappears when other gals want him.
Starting a biz will always have its obstacles n challenges. U have been with him for so long n should c his character clearly. The way he handles his finances doesnt seem like a stable matured careful man who thinks n cares for his wife n family. If he needed time to think before giving u an answer, he should have let u know. But his r/ship with his gf n lying to her repeatedly tat he is single is a terrible disrespect of the love n marriage u share. He ruined it himself.
It would honestly be better for u to keep a distance from him. Maybe in a few yrs time, the both of u can be frens again but not now. I know u feel close to him after sharing ur lives for so many yrs n its easy for u to look for him at times when u are sick, sad or tired. But do be strong n refrain from seeking the heart of a selfish man who has betrayed ur love n trust. Otherwise, u will be more hurt in the future, when he is a 'fren' whenever he has time but disappears when other gals want him.
If TS decides to move on with her life and forget him as a husband, who cares if her husband is telling the truth, or coming up with excuses, telling white lies or just a jerk trying to leave a back route for himself. At the very least he still plays the role as a friend for TS to leave this marriage on good terms and helping TS to move on after the divorce.
If TS can treat him as a friend helping her and not anything else then it is fine to still meet him once in a while. If not, it is better to cut all contacts until you are ready to move on.
If TS can treat him as a friend helping her and not anything else then it is fine to still meet him once in a while. If not, it is better to cut all contacts until you are ready to move on.
Hi all,
still trying hard to move on...but memories keep flashing back. Finds it hard to control my emotions. At one time, I am fine. At other times, I am not ok feeling anger, hurt dispair not knowing wat to do.
He says he know his priority is on the biz he wans to do and the future and income is so unstable. He can't provide well for the family and there is bound to be one dae we will eventually to split.
Saying I still can start afresh at tis age if ten years dwn the road, he says I be even worse and lost to start afresh. Kinda easy for him to say things like this, hard for ppl like mi to accept. More like forcing mi to accept his decision. Arrrggg!! Find myself sooo weak always tinking of calling and seeing him. Going bonkers sooon
still trying hard to move on...but memories keep flashing back. Finds it hard to control my emotions. At one time, I am fine. At other times, I am not ok feeling anger, hurt dispair not knowing wat to do.
He says he know his priority is on the biz he wans to do and the future and income is so unstable. He can't provide well for the family and there is bound to be one dae we will eventually to split.
Saying I still can start afresh at tis age if ten years dwn the road, he says I be even worse and lost to start afresh. Kinda easy for him to say things like this, hard for ppl like mi to accept. More like forcing mi to accept his decision. Arrrggg!! Find myself sooo weak always tinking of calling and seeing him. Going bonkers sooon
Avery L: I know is hard to get on with your life now. Coz am also facing the same problem. But we must be strong, always keeps ourselves Busy and alot of friends to talk to. Trust me i believe time will heal our WOUND and there will be someone better out there.If you feel boring need someone to talk too. You can also PM mi. At least we can keep each other company.
Thanks Sad gal,
How are u coping now?? u also facing divorce now? Care to share ur problems. Mi going crazy these few days, days seems to be slow, long and hurting. Can't sleep at nite and even though I sleep at 2-3am at nite, everyday sure wake up at 6.30am. I dun know why seems like a biological clock within myself. I really hate it. I stare blankly till it is time for work. At this time, mind run wild again as usual. Alot of flashbacks and whys, ifs. It is a vicious cycle again. Sooo sick of it but can't help.
Been either taking sleeping pills and drinking booze to sleep. Din know how long do I have to carry on like this. Sigh! Colleagues even comment tat I look ghaustly and ask mi abt it. I even lie saying tat I chase HK TV serials at nite. I try to divert attention, get a haircut, go for manicure and pedicure, shopping, sign up for dance classes and sign up a short getaway in May. But none seems to help!! I can't help feeling lousy and feeling like no strength to do watever things.
I used to remember I need to do this and that, now like a zombie, everything forgotten resulting the house is like a big mess. Not wanting to lift a finger to do anything. Passing each day as it is.
How are u coping now?? u also facing divorce now? Care to share ur problems. Mi going crazy these few days, days seems to be slow, long and hurting. Can't sleep at nite and even though I sleep at 2-3am at nite, everyday sure wake up at 6.30am. I dun know why seems like a biological clock within myself. I really hate it. I stare blankly till it is time for work. At this time, mind run wild again as usual. Alot of flashbacks and whys, ifs. It is a vicious cycle again. Sooo sick of it but can't help.
Been either taking sleeping pills and drinking booze to sleep. Din know how long do I have to carry on like this. Sigh! Colleagues even comment tat I look ghaustly and ask mi abt it. I even lie saying tat I chase HK TV serials at nite. I try to divert attention, get a haircut, go for manicure and pedicure, shopping, sign up for dance classes and sign up a short getaway in May. But none seems to help!! I can't help feeling lousy and feeling like no strength to do watever things.
I used to remember I need to do this and that, now like a zombie, everything forgotten resulting the house is like a big mess. Not wanting to lift a finger to do anything. Passing each day as it is.
wat_are_dreamz
New Member
Hi Avery, things are always tough in the beginning. But after everything, i hope u can look back as a stronger happier person. Its natural to feel sad, lots of tots going through the mind, confusion, frustration, twisting n turning in the mind. Slping pills are ok as a temporary measure to help ur mind to rest, but dun become reliant on it kay.
Fix dinner appts with ur gfs, go out with ur parents, go watch a nice movie alone, rent library books n vcds to keep urself occupied n hopefully make urself laugh. Its gd tat u signed up for dance classes n are going on a short hol in may. The dance classes will help to keep u occupied n feel healthier n sexier. Give urself some time to get through this difficult time. U can do it. =>
If u find it hard to slp at night, start playing computer games or watch vcd. Buy cookbooks n try out the recipes n bring the food to office for ur colleagues or invite ur gfs over for potluck etc. Surround urself with pple, so u can feel love n joy. Go to the beach to scream if u need to or sit in a nice cafe to enjoy a cup of coffee or alcoholic drink, but dun over-indulge cos ur health is impt. Force urself to look in the mirror n smile at least once a day. U may not feel like smiling but the act of smiling itself will lighten ur mood by a little, so give it a try. Find peace in ur religion, if u have one. Jia you!
Fix dinner appts with ur gfs, go out with ur parents, go watch a nice movie alone, rent library books n vcds to keep urself occupied n hopefully make urself laugh. Its gd tat u signed up for dance classes n are going on a short hol in may. The dance classes will help to keep u occupied n feel healthier n sexier. Give urself some time to get through this difficult time. U can do it. =>
If u find it hard to slp at night, start playing computer games or watch vcd. Buy cookbooks n try out the recipes n bring the food to office for ur colleagues or invite ur gfs over for potluck etc. Surround urself with pple, so u can feel love n joy. Go to the beach to scream if u need to or sit in a nice cafe to enjoy a cup of coffee or alcoholic drink, but dun over-indulge cos ur health is impt. Force urself to look in the mirror n smile at least once a day. U may not feel like smiling but the act of smiling itself will lighten ur mood by a little, so give it a try. Find peace in ur religion, if u have one. Jia you!
Hey Avery it's very hard for you now but trust me with your family support you can make it.
If he don't reply you and MIA with the car, go ahead and make police report that he is missing with car. At least car missing you might get back some cash from insurance. With MIA report you can also go ahead with your legal matters easily, even without lawyers, save you some additional cost too. Go and seek help from the free legal clinic 1st before engaging one.
If he don't reply you and MIA with the car, go ahead and make police report that he is missing with car. At least car missing you might get back some cash from insurance. With MIA report you can also go ahead with your legal matters easily, even without lawyers, save you some additional cost too. Go and seek help from the free legal clinic 1st before engaging one.
anyone care to share any divorce procedures and lawyer's contact? Coz I got a feeling tat my hb is dragging, I wan to do everything by myself not dependent on others, otherwise things will not ever get done. Appreciate anyone who can provide cheap lawyer's contacts!
For my case, I have no kids, no housing issues to settle as it is sold already plus no asking of maintenance from my hb coz he has already given mi a lump sum of alimony.
thxs all for ur concern!! Getting better but sumtimes still break dwn, wonder why I was sooo useless and weak. Keep myself veri busy wif activities, hoping tat no time to tink abt him. Have planned a few travel trips, change job and took up a part-time masters course. He not worthy of my luv, should live for myself and derive happiness myself instead on depending on others to give mi. Stupid and naive thinking of mi in the past.
For my case, I have no kids, no housing issues to settle as it is sold already plus no asking of maintenance from my hb coz he has already given mi a lump sum of alimony.
thxs all for ur concern!! Getting better but sumtimes still break dwn, wonder why I was sooo useless and weak. Keep myself veri busy wif activities, hoping tat no time to tink abt him. Have planned a few travel trips, change job and took up a part-time masters course. He not worthy of my luv, should live for myself and derive happiness myself instead on depending on others to give mi. Stupid and naive thinking of mi in the past.
cococherry
New Member
Avery,
Don't force yourself to heal, healing takes time and everyone's recovery time is differ. Some ppl take years to heal their wounds.
Don't force yourself to heal, healing takes time and everyone's recovery time is differ. Some ppl take years to heal their wounds.
Yah avery. Loss of marriage is like when someone very close to you suddenly passed away. Give yourself time, space and lots of support in order to grief properly. Not that you are weak or useless, it is normal to sometimes feel especially vulnerable or alone, happens to everyone. Understand that it is a normal process and sayang yourself when it happens.
Husband is dragging? I got evil idea, but think you may be hurting too much to use at this moment of time. I will think that the faster you want to go through it, the slower he will take. So if you do the opposite and let him 'think' that you have stalled (and is even interested in chasing the '3rd party' away), he will suddenly want to get rid of you as fast as possible. You do as you deem fit lah. Take care and jiayou avery!
Husband is dragging? I got evil idea, but think you may be hurting too much to use at this moment of time. I will think that the faster you want to go through it, the slower he will take. So if you do the opposite and let him 'think' that you have stalled (and is even interested in chasing the '3rd party' away), he will suddenly want to get rid of you as fast as possible. You do as you deem fit lah. Take care and jiayou avery!
Thxs all!!!
Really appreciate all advices here. From start getting married finding resources here till after soo many years still here seeking advices for divorce. Kinda irony!
hweebs,
how I wish he actually pass away which might be better for mi to get over. ya veri true, when alone or sick, I will tink of him. Haiz hoping I can recover fast, seeing my emotional up and dwn, dunno whether it will take donkey yrs.
Really appreciate all advices here. From start getting married finding resources here till after soo many years still here seeking advices for divorce. Kinda irony!
hweebs,
how I wish he actually pass away which might be better for mi to get over. ya veri true, when alone or sick, I will tink of him. Haiz hoping I can recover fast, seeing my emotional up and dwn, dunno whether it will take donkey yrs.
