ADVICE ON TRADITIONS- things NOT to do for weddings

[mochiicecream]

Hi everyone! Just want to know what are the things that are considered to be inauspicious for a wedding.

I am not a very traditional person, but just to make sure that i dont offend anyone else in the wedding. Any advice?

Oh.. by the way, is it true that one cannot attend another friends wedding 2 months before their own one? My best friend is planning to get married in the same month as i do, and wants both me and my FH to be the bridesmaid and bridesman.

 

[ryanmel]

Actually if your parents or ILs are not very 'patang', you can still attend your friend's wedding in the same month as yours. But if they are, then its better you do not attend their wedding dinner which is in the same month as you.

 

[kaori]

I heard it's 3 months leh. And even the younger generation follows it...because scare chong1. Mayb some truth in it bah..

 

[xiaoqin]

hmm..
gals is there a website for these cultural things?

my hubby and i are the classic blur king and queen

would like to find out more for my upcoming wedding

 

[~angelz~]

For the "clash" thingy.
Some says that its 1 month, 2 months and other says that its 3 months. Thus i think its up to individual families' believe.

Precaution better than cure. So for me, if i don know it will be good. But if I come to know about it.. I will just follow coz its not harming anyone but just protecting our own interest. =)

 

[lovingyou]

I think it is up to how superstitious your parents are? My FIL advised us not to attend any person's weddings for like half a year before/after us?

 

[rumiya]

Hi Gals,

By tradition, wedding couple shldn't attend other people wedding ( Chong Xi)or funeral 3 months before and after your wedding.

 

[lovingyou]

Agree with Joey.. But I think we can still invite the person so long it passes the 100 days..

 

[corbear]

website for cultural wedding traditions:
http://www.lurvestory.com/index_files/WeddingTaboos.htm
http://www.chinese-wedding-guide.com/chinese-wedding-taboos.html

 

[flowerbride]

My colleague's got married in Dec 09. Recently another colleague just had a bb girl and brought the full month cake to the office.

The colleague that got married made a big fuss about not being able to eat e cake and contribute $10 to the baby gift cos it's only 4 months from her wedding.

We thought that was super supersitious or just a cover up for not wanting to contribute $10.

 

[joyines]

Hi,
Hope anybody can help me. My htb found out that his sis will be having thier ad this oct which is the same month we intend to have our rom & banquet together.

My htb is the eldest son but her sis hav thier rom last year. Now not sure what to do

 

[jingying]

it depends on your traditions actually. If your parents are ok with it, it's all right to go ahead with your wedding & ROM.

Some familiies like mine make sure that we have at least 3 months apart from one another's wedding. My bro is having his this Nov while I am having mine in July =)

 

[xian_xian]

hi, from what i know is 4mths... Not suppose to attend/get involved in any weddings/full month celebration/funeral so that it doesn't clash both families, in terms of marriage we are talking about 4 families!

nonetheless, no one should get upset over such belief/customs.. true friends will always be true friends, if friends can fall over this issue, it is time to review the friendship, that's my take..

actually i guess it is up to individual.. personally feel better to follow as there should be certain degree of truth to Chinese customs..

but anyone and everyone can make own decision... just don't blame anyone if something unpleasant do happens.. that's the main thing

 

[xian_xian]

hi joy, i guess the best ppl to consult are your parents.. a few months shouldn't be too much of an issue =)

anw, 3-4mths after this oct happens to be just after cny next year... it isn't a bad thing to get married only then.. can get 1 more year of ang pow think positive!

 

[bbg1223]

from what i know, its 4 months but really, its up to individual beliefs.
for me, my best friend will be getting married 1.5 months before me but we are being each other's sister.

my colleague is getting married 2 months before me but because his wife minds, i will not be attending his, he will not be attending mine.

 

[littlezhuzhu]

i think it is all up to individual.. normally is ard 3 mths apart .. mine wedding is in sep but my buddy is in nov but we are not "patang" & we will be attending each other wedding!

I also consulted my "master" for calculating my wedding date, he told me no such thing as "clash" but as it is just a believe & if the older generation insist just respect & follow suit lo ..

 

[desher]

my bestie will not be attending my wedding and be my sister.. but shes asking me to be her sister and attend the wedding.

Sighs... if you were me, will you attend?

 

[kitminish]

Desher, I would, so unfair.

 

[chaijing]

Hi all, i asked about this when i calculated my wedding date. the master said the tradition is to hold your wedding 4 months apart if you would like to attend your friend's wedding.

That is, if your wedding is in July and your friend's wedding is in Oct (less than 4 months apart), he/she can attend your wedding, but you cannot attend his/her wedding.

I'm not sure what's the rationale, but master only said it's not good for both parties.

 

[ning87]

the rationale behind it is that, the couple has gotten married who attends the wedding of someone else getting married within 4 months of their wedding, the "stronger" luck couple will take away the luck of the "weaker" luck couple, leaving the weaker one with no luck.

and i think when they say luck, i dont think they talking about gambling luck.. i think they mean happiness luck.

 

[xtravaga]

sounds resonable.