dinnielooi
Member
if he loves u, he would have settle with his wife and give u a 'status'.
Sorry to be straight but now u are a your now is a mistress
Sorry to be straight but now u are a your now is a mistress
Advice?! An affair...
- Thread starter ihaterose
- Start date
Seriously.. it is a freaking lie.. If he is so "stressed" over trying to connect with you.. why not divorce his wife which he said he no longer love.. I mean, if you don't mind being a TOW forever, then ofcourse, it doesn't matter but if you hope to be the wife.. sorry.. wait long long..
To stop being a third party, your heart must die first.. the best way to let your heart die is to see how little you meant to him.
Tell him you think you might be pregnant.. Ask him to discuss "future plan".. you might be surprised by his "pattern" , will act concern and say are you sure.. and then ask if you are going to keep it then say he cannot divorce his wife.. why not abort it..Then sight to his ultimate relief when you finally tell him that you are not pregnant..false alarm.
When his "pattern" starts to come out.. you ask more question to let yourself æ»å¿ƒã€‚
To stop being a third party, your heart must die first.. the best way to let your heart die is to see how little you meant to him.
Tell him you think you might be pregnant.. Ask him to discuss "future plan".. you might be surprised by his "pattern" , will act concern and say are you sure.. and then ask if you are going to keep it then say he cannot divorce his wife.. why not abort it..Then sight to his ultimate relief when you finally tell him that you are not pregnant..false alarm.
When his "pattern" starts to come out.. you ask more question to let yourself æ»å¿ƒã€‚
texasholdem
New Member
i like to find out whether his wife knows abt the affair? did ts mentioned?
i'm providing a solution to this problem... whether it sits well with your morals or values, it's subjective.
anyway i really dun like to explain... but nowadays i think pple dun think far and deep enough... so i'll share more...
i didn't suggest to just sleep around, but only do it if there's attraction. For there to be an attraction when a person is so obviously hooked on a married unavailable man... is not gonna be too often, so u're not gonna be sleeping around like nobody's biz.
just as u have a rebound guy after u breakup... PLACING this rebound guy(s) whilst u're deliberating a breakup - would be the catalyst to break u away from the first guy...
NOW, if u need to find a really nice guy to do this, it will only drag, and u may end up hurting the nice guy becos u might have to be less truthful intially... and then if u do become an item, u're gonna have guilt issues... and if the current married man harasses u - your new bfren is gonna find out and u'll end up in hurt a further 2nd time becos this time - the guy is single and u really like him.
u cannot take this blow. u may end up going back to the married guy. or spiral on to something worse.
NOW why do i suggest that... thing is if u start meeting guys, and u find those whom u can click with... and u fall into certain moments where u will end up with physical engagement or in bed... then u will REALIZE something new here...
i'm not gonna say what this realization is, becos some things - u need to fall down to understand.
i leave u pple to touch on your own past experiences of how u moved in your relationships, how u got stuck in some... to grasp what i share.
if u're gonna use all that religious/moral view to judge my thoughts and solutions, then u better look at the fact that the XiaoLing is obviously already having an affair.
no offence, i'm not judging anyone here as wrong or right... but if u're committing an adultery and telling me things with a moral/ethical/religious view... i'll normally tell u to fcuk off.
tat's my language for emphasis hor... dun be offended... hehe
anyway i really dun like to explain... but nowadays i think pple dun think far and deep enough... so i'll share more...
i didn't suggest to just sleep around, but only do it if there's attraction. For there to be an attraction when a person is so obviously hooked on a married unavailable man... is not gonna be too often, so u're not gonna be sleeping around like nobody's biz.
just as u have a rebound guy after u breakup... PLACING this rebound guy(s) whilst u're deliberating a breakup - would be the catalyst to break u away from the first guy...
NOW, if u need to find a really nice guy to do this, it will only drag, and u may end up hurting the nice guy becos u might have to be less truthful intially... and then if u do become an item, u're gonna have guilt issues... and if the current married man harasses u - your new bfren is gonna find out and u'll end up in hurt a further 2nd time becos this time - the guy is single and u really like him.
u cannot take this blow. u may end up going back to the married guy. or spiral on to something worse.
NOW why do i suggest that... thing is if u start meeting guys, and u find those whom u can click with... and u fall into certain moments where u will end up with physical engagement or in bed... then u will REALIZE something new here...
i'm not gonna say what this realization is, becos some things - u need to fall down to understand.
i leave u pple to touch on your own past experiences of how u moved in your relationships, how u got stuck in some... to grasp what i share.
if u're gonna use all that religious/moral view to judge my thoughts and solutions, then u better look at the fact that the XiaoLing is obviously already having an affair.
no offence, i'm not judging anyone here as wrong or right... but if u're committing an adultery and telling me things with a moral/ethical/religious view... i'll normally tell u to fcuk off.
tat's my language for emphasis hor... dun be offended... hehe
cococherry
New Member
TPK, Maybe the wife will join the forum and post a thread or is a forummer who suspected her husband is cheating?
outcast...
many times in life, u dun need to agree... u just need to apply a solution and move on.
if u know more than a couple of 'mistresses' who are now in their 40s who waited maybe a decade, and no longer very attractive nor have the same market share of single men...
u would apply a solution that has a high percentage of working - taking into account all the human psyche and weaknesses, and not a morally-acceptable solution which is acceptable. in the first place, the affair isn't very acceptable liao... tio bo?
life and youth lost is irreversible. morals is debatable and u can always find back your bearings... it's the lesser of two evils i guess..
regards, the pet theory guy
many times in life, u dun need to agree... u just need to apply a solution and move on.
if u know more than a couple of 'mistresses' who are now in their 40s who waited maybe a decade, and no longer very attractive nor have the same market share of single men...
u would apply a solution that has a high percentage of working - taking into account all the human psyche and weaknesses, and not a morally-acceptable solution which is acceptable. in the first place, the affair isn't very acceptable liao... tio bo?
life and youth lost is irreversible. morals is debatable and u can always find back your bearings... it's the lesser of two evils i guess..
regards, the pet theory guy
"He once told me that: loving a person doesn't mean need to have him/her. I don't know if I'm being naive again, I'd think: loving a person is to putting effort to be together, even til end of the day."
XiaoLing, do you notice that you are doing all the hard work for him to have an easy life?
Since "loving a person doesn't mean need to have him/her" why was he "angry because I wad trying to escape from him..."?
Seems like his theory of "loving a person" only applies to you, not to him and his wife ley... His wife loves him, she has him. He loves his wife (although he claims he doesn't), he has her. He loves you, he has you. But when you love him, he say you don't need to have him to love him... and you guai guai accept it.
Also, why does your "loving a person is to putting effort to be together, even til end of the day." only applies to you???
"never stop ML…he told me he cannot afford to “disappoint†her", "extra careful to handle our relationship for not to be exposed by his wife" I can only see him putting effort to be together with his wife despite the affair lor...
"I have the strong feeling that if I ask him to choose, he will choose his wife" - No need to ask... cos "once it is exposed, then gone case…he said he cannot afford to lose me at that point of time…"
Can you see that he already made up his mind, once anything happens, YOU are the first, and perhaps the only one, to go?
"I'd worry if I'm hurting him..." Has he even considered that he is already hurting you?
Action speaks louder than words. That's how much he loves you, my dear. The writings are all over the wall, you can't see because you insist on "feeling".
"Maybe I'm having fear not to get a better one in future?"
How much worse can you get?
Stop waiting for his call and MSN. Go out with other guys, let him be the one on the waiting side. Do not allow him to interrupt your dates, just like the way he avoid you when his wife is around - you are just doing what he is doing to you.
XiaoLing, do you notice that you are doing all the hard work for him to have an easy life?
Since "loving a person doesn't mean need to have him/her" why was he "angry because I wad trying to escape from him..."?
Seems like his theory of "loving a person" only applies to you, not to him and his wife ley... His wife loves him, she has him. He loves his wife (although he claims he doesn't), he has her. He loves you, he has you. But when you love him, he say you don't need to have him to love him... and you guai guai accept it.
Also, why does your "loving a person is to putting effort to be together, even til end of the day." only applies to you???
"never stop ML…he told me he cannot afford to “disappoint†her", "extra careful to handle our relationship for not to be exposed by his wife" I can only see him putting effort to be together with his wife despite the affair lor...
"I have the strong feeling that if I ask him to choose, he will choose his wife" - No need to ask... cos "once it is exposed, then gone case…he said he cannot afford to lose me at that point of time…"
Can you see that he already made up his mind, once anything happens, YOU are the first, and perhaps the only one, to go?
"I'd worry if I'm hurting him..." Has he even considered that he is already hurting you?
Action speaks louder than words. That's how much he loves you, my dear. The writings are all over the wall, you can't see because you insist on "feeling".
"Maybe I'm having fear not to get a better one in future?"
How much worse can you get?
Stop waiting for his call and MSN. Go out with other guys, let him be the one on the waiting side. Do not allow him to interrupt your dates, just like the way he avoid you when his wife is around - you are just doing what he is doing to you.
Wah…pet theory guy…long essay hor…your approach is not wrong but I am not sure if a gal is so deeply in love with a guy can have sex with another even she find some attraction in him…moreover, the new found guy will also be pissed even you have went to bed with him when he found out your dark secrete…worst he may leave you and you loose everything and gain nothing….you will be more depress and desperate…grabbing anything that come along and pushing her towards the married guy further.
“then u will REALIZE something new here†– öö….wah sound like some weapon of mass destruction to break this quandary lei…too bad I wont get to know lah…never fall down in such a way before lei…
I don’t think xiaoling is having an affair neither she is wrong or immoral, loving a person is never wrong be it that guy is married or single as long as they both truly love each other. Although I never fancy dating or loving a married man but I also believe that some people go through a few tries to find their perfect match or life partner….if that married guy truly love you and prepare to go against all odds including leaving his family to be with you then I would say this guy is worth your effort and time…never let a guy drag you for too long…..
I think xiaoling by now should understand what all of us are trying to say, have a better appreciation of her current situation/future and the true colour of her married bf….I hope she will able to pull herself out asap since its only 4 months and not to kid herself into believing the false sense of love her bf want her to believe which is so obvious to bystander and regret for life in future in some similar situations shared by others as a mistress.
“then u will REALIZE something new here†– öö….wah sound like some weapon of mass destruction to break this quandary lei…too bad I wont get to know lah…never fall down in such a way before lei…
I don’t think xiaoling is having an affair neither she is wrong or immoral, loving a person is never wrong be it that guy is married or single as long as they both truly love each other. Although I never fancy dating or loving a married man but I also believe that some people go through a few tries to find their perfect match or life partner….if that married guy truly love you and prepare to go against all odds including leaving his family to be with you then I would say this guy is worth your effort and time…never let a guy drag you for too long…..
I think xiaoling by now should understand what all of us are trying to say, have a better appreciation of her current situation/future and the true colour of her married bf….I hope she will able to pull herself out asap since its only 4 months and not to kid herself into believing the false sense of love her bf want her to believe which is so obvious to bystander and regret for life in future in some similar situations shared by others as a mistress.
texasholdem
New Member
loving a married person is a disatrous matter. are single pple out there all dead that you have to find a married person?
can u just leave him, please? my husband cheated on me with his colleague, whom initially when she joined his company, he was telling me how disgusting he was with the girl as she dated people's husbands.
seriously, it hurts. very very very hurtful. every married person will have something negative to say about their partner. nobody is perfect. but still, it's a marriage and there's a reason why two people get married.
a third party would screw up any chances they have at patching up and making the marriage work. someone gonna get hurt. if he chooses his wife, u get hurt. if he chooses u, she gets doubly hurt.
i still hurt and i don't understand u girls who go for married men. i know plenty of single guys. why must u take a married man???
seriously, it hurts. very very very hurtful. every married person will have something negative to say about their partner. nobody is perfect. but still, it's a marriage and there's a reason why two people get married.
a third party would screw up any chances they have at patching up and making the marriage work. someone gonna get hurt. if he chooses his wife, u get hurt. if he chooses u, she gets doubly hurt.
i still hurt and i don't understand u girls who go for married men. i know plenty of single guys. why must u take a married man???
outcast,
not a theorectical essay. it's with experience and understanding the human psyche... on what is very likely to happen...
your thoughts are based on idealism... whilst some others will be here with their emotional thoughts... especially those wives whom husbands have strayed.
objectivity is important... what we think - we have know know what we're thinking with...
not a theorectical essay. it's with experience and understanding the human psyche... on what is very likely to happen...
your thoughts are based on idealism... whilst some others will be here with their emotional thoughts... especially those wives whom husbands have strayed.
objectivity is important... what we think - we have know know what we're thinking with...
susanna_low
New Member
It really depends, TS doesn't seem to be the player type and definitely notthose who can play with feelings. You refused to let go bt then ask urself, can u afford to continue this game???
The longer u hang on, the deeper u will fall into the pit.
Do you have close frds that u can hang ard with? To drink, club etc?
Or even simple chilling sessions, juz dun cope urself at hme..
Like wat the rest say, go out and noe more guys. Spend more time with others. Find somebody else who deserve u beta..
Ultimately, time will heal everything. You will think of how silly u were if u ever look back!
Anyway there will not be good ending and eventually both of u got to part eventually. Like it or not, u gotta accept the reality. It's time for you to plan for your own future.
The longer u hang on, the deeper u will fall into the pit.
Do you have close frds that u can hang ard with? To drink, club etc?
Or even simple chilling sessions, juz dun cope urself at hme..
Like wat the rest say, go out and noe more guys. Spend more time with others. Find somebody else who deserve u beta..
Ultimately, time will heal everything. You will think of how silly u were if u ever look back!
Anyway there will not be good ending and eventually both of u got to part eventually. Like it or not, u gotta accept the reality. It's time for you to plan for your own future.
dinnie, I totally understand what you meant...
Opal,Â
Actually we've discussed about the pregnant stuff before. He did mention that if accidentally I have the baby, he hopes I can go for abortion. I was totally shattered. The reason he gave is because he is thinking how am I going to face the society, the family etc. Seriously, if touch wood really happens, I will never do abortion to kill a life or to probably leave side effect to my body (due to abortion)...foolish enough to say, despite he said these disheartening things, I'm still stuck in the r/s...funny enough?!
To powder...well I should say everytime will learn something from you, at man's viewpoint.Â
Irene, thanks for pointing out those statements with good analysis
I've been thinking alot after reading...I should really, really protect myself instead of being hurt by this way.Â
Outcast, 4 months of relationship seems short in the figure. But, the emotion feeling & effort I'm putting in are more than that. Perhaps I'm that type of person who in love, will be going in deeply with devotion. Else, I won't be struggling now because 4 months to some people is just a short period & can easily let go.
Ting Yi,Â
Thanks for the understanding. I do have close friends around but clubbing is not my cup of tea...haha... I'm trying to increase my circle of friends too because most of my friends around are either attached or married.Â
"can you afford to play the game?" I asked this question to myself hundreds over time.Â
Sometimes I'd think: ya, why not? Just live once, if you are happy together, then just be very "xiao sa" about it. Â
Sometimes I asked my conscious, I never give up to think & looking forward to have a blissful marriage too...the game doesn't give what I'm longing for...
So...ya...confusing....
Opal,Â
Actually we've discussed about the pregnant stuff before. He did mention that if accidentally I have the baby, he hopes I can go for abortion. I was totally shattered. The reason he gave is because he is thinking how am I going to face the society, the family etc. Seriously, if touch wood really happens, I will never do abortion to kill a life or to probably leave side effect to my body (due to abortion)...foolish enough to say, despite he said these disheartening things, I'm still stuck in the r/s...funny enough?!
To powder...well I should say everytime will learn something from you, at man's viewpoint.Â
Irene, thanks for pointing out those statements with good analysis
Outcast, 4 months of relationship seems short in the figure. But, the emotion feeling & effort I'm putting in are more than that. Perhaps I'm that type of person who in love, will be going in deeply with devotion. Else, I won't be struggling now because 4 months to some people is just a short period & can easily let go.
Ting Yi,Â
Thanks for the understanding. I do have close friends around but clubbing is not my cup of tea...haha... I'm trying to increase my circle of friends too because most of my friends around are either attached or married.Â
"can you afford to play the game?" I asked this question to myself hundreds over time.Â
Sometimes I'd think: ya, why not? Just live once, if you are happy together, then just be very "xiao sa" about it. Â
Sometimes I asked my conscious, I never give up to think & looking forward to have a blissful marriage too...the game doesn't give what I'm longing for...
So...ya...confusing....
infojunkie
Active Member
"The reason he gave is because he is thinking how am I going to face the society, the family etc."
it should be "how is he going to face his wife, his family, if they find out abt this shit... how is he going to deal with this SHIT!"
it should be "how is he going to face his wife, his family, if they find out abt this shit... how is he going to deal with this SHIT!"
Xiao Ling, I thot you may want to know that in the story I shared earlier on, even though the married man did not take responsibility for the baby at all, he did not ask her to abort the child either.. Cos he claims to love her.. still she found herself all alone and having lost almost everything..
In your case, are you hoping that he will leave his wife and marry you instead?
And if you aren't hoping for that.. what are you looking for in this affair years down the road?
Will you spend most of your time waiting for him to login on msn just for a brief & interrupted chat..? Will you still be content with this love when he moves on to celebrate his baby's arrival with his wife in future while asking you to kill yours?
In your case, are you hoping that he will leave his wife and marry you instead?
And if you aren't hoping for that.. what are you looking for in this affair years down the road?
Will you spend most of your time waiting for him to login on msn just for a brief & interrupted chat..? Will you still be content with this love when he moves on to celebrate his baby's arrival with his wife in future while asking you to kill yours?
For crying out loud, you still say you´re stuck in this relationship, after hearing the 10 year future projection, the psyche of such men, your acknowledgement he is no good. Still confused meh ? Are you even keen on taking a different route ?
I wonder why no forummers has `slapped` you in their ragged ways already, usually they would have by now. Sketching out scenarios had more priority, I suppose. Or your `Or any slap to wake me up?` deterred `slaps`. Reverse psychology.
Totally nerve wrecking, sheesh !
I wonder why no forummers has `slapped` you in their ragged ways already, usually they would have by now. Sketching out scenarios had more priority, I suppose. Or your `Or any slap to wake me up?` deterred `slaps`. Reverse psychology.
Totally nerve wrecking, sheesh !
Xiaoling,
Don't end up like this woman.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0l87HwTzPKo&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufLjk5s_g4Q&feature=fvsr
It might be just TV but it is very real life. Please cherish yourself and choose wisely.
Don't end up like this woman.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0l87HwTzPKo&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufLjk5s_g4Q&feature=fvsr
It might be just TV but it is very real life. Please cherish yourself and choose wisely.
I always thought love is not blind, just provide w a skewed perspective..but xiao ling are you blind , deaf and dumb??
Loving a married man is one thing if he loved you.. In your case, you are building your relationship on physical not emotional. Having sex with him while he is banging his wife.. Allowing him to tell you that he wants you to abort the baby if accdent happen?!! If you treat him as a friend with benefit.. Okay it is still imoral but u don't lose out..
Right now he is treating u as a fcuk buddy .. Call on you when he has urges, turn to you for an ego boost when he need to reassert his manhood.. Someone mention you are like a mistress.. I beg to differ.. Mistress get paid or in kind. What have you gotten at the end of your relationship?
If you knew all this and still persist in having a relationship. Dun expect anything, dun whine about ur feelings cos you alrdy knew the end game. In case you are thinking about it..Having a child is not a tool for you to use to manipulate him in the future..
Go on, just tell him now that you think you are pregnant and u are keeping it.. Go see his response.
You keep saying that you are afraid to leave him cos u will not find someone that love you as much.. Where is the love?!
Come on, is the 21st century, I am sure you will not die without a guy by yourside.. Not a married irresponsible guy like him!
On a side note, is his wife by any chance a career woman.. Who may belittle him and refuse/don't want sex with him? Pls la, wake up
*slap slap*
Loving a married man is one thing if he loved you.. In your case, you are building your relationship on physical not emotional. Having sex with him while he is banging his wife.. Allowing him to tell you that he wants you to abort the baby if accdent happen?!! If you treat him as a friend with benefit.. Okay it is still imoral but u don't lose out..
Right now he is treating u as a fcuk buddy .. Call on you when he has urges, turn to you for an ego boost when he need to reassert his manhood.. Someone mention you are like a mistress.. I beg to differ.. Mistress get paid or in kind. What have you gotten at the end of your relationship?
If you knew all this and still persist in having a relationship. Dun expect anything, dun whine about ur feelings cos you alrdy knew the end game. In case you are thinking about it..Having a child is not a tool for you to use to manipulate him in the future..
Go on, just tell him now that you think you are pregnant and u are keeping it.. Go see his response.
You keep saying that you are afraid to leave him cos u will not find someone that love you as much.. Where is the love?!
Come on, is the 21st century, I am sure you will not die without a guy by yourside.. Not a married irresponsible guy like him!
On a side note, is his wife by any chance a career woman.. Who may belittle him and refuse/don't want sex with him? Pls la, wake up
*slap slap*
Maybe I should emphasize that the relationship is built emotionally...the physical part, I think it's not really the core of this r/s.Â
At least this applied to me...as for him, you guys have pointed out the facts that he might be a cheater.Â
Did I mention before he told me not to have hope about this r/s? However, we still continue because both of us are hardly let each other go...in the name of love (so-called)...
Along the way, perhaps I got any false hope from him which I thought we might have a future. That's why I keep myself positively to hope a future for us.Â
Recently I just get to know the reason why he claimed no feeling towards his wife...she betrayed him before, and he got deeply hurt by that incident. Well, he chose to forgive but the feeling towards her not as before. He said he is still traumatized by that incident...Â
At least this applied to me...as for him, you guys have pointed out the facts that he might be a cheater.Â
Did I mention before he told me not to have hope about this r/s? However, we still continue because both of us are hardly let each other go...in the name of love (so-called)...
Along the way, perhaps I got any false hope from him which I thought we might have a future. That's why I keep myself positively to hope a future for us.Â
Recently I just get to know the reason why he claimed no feeling towards his wife...she betrayed him before, and he got deeply hurt by that incident. Well, he chose to forgive but the feeling towards her not as before. He said he is still traumatized by that incident...Â
hi xiaoling,
pls dun be naive to think that he is going to leave his wife for u. If he really wants he would have done so already. U are hurting urself and hurting his family.
Hope u read the news abt the tragic family of 4. Destroying a family has many consequences. Are u willing to bare the consequences? If no Pls leave this 3rd party affair and find someone who truely loves u.
pls dun be naive to think that he is going to leave his wife for u. If he really wants he would have done so already. U are hurting urself and hurting his family.
Hope u read the news abt the tragic family of 4. Destroying a family has many consequences. Are u willing to bare the consequences? If no Pls leave this 3rd party affair and find someone who truely loves u.
XiaoLing I am actually quoting you ..
"Outcast,
I've been thinking about the suggestion you've given...however, by looking at the minimum chance we can have connection, it's quite difficult to really build up the emotional stuff."
So what if you have "emotional" bond.. he only has physical urges for you..and you already know relationship built on physical is going to last as long as you are pretty and young and availabe on his call..
....Wife betray him.. so he very sad.. Solution equal betray his wife??! classic sob story.. Don't you think?
If only, I have a penny for everytime my gal friends come to me with that sob story about that married guy.. it is so laughable.. The same married guy always dissappear when the GF tell him she is pregnant and want to give birth...
Pls amend your sentence.. is not that you two cannot let each other go.. is that you cannot let him go. If you really make a break, you will find that he can find someone else to meet his needs.
Wake up and smell the rose or rather shit surrounding you...
"Outcast,
I've been thinking about the suggestion you've given...however, by looking at the minimum chance we can have connection, it's quite difficult to really build up the emotional stuff."
So what if you have "emotional" bond.. he only has physical urges for you..and you already know relationship built on physical is going to last as long as you are pretty and young and availabe on his call..
....Wife betray him.. so he very sad.. Solution equal betray his wife??! classic sob story.. Don't you think?
If only, I have a penny for everytime my gal friends come to me with that sob story about that married guy.. it is so laughable.. The same married guy always dissappear when the GF tell him she is pregnant and want to give birth...
Pls amend your sentence.. is not that you two cannot let each other go.. is that you cannot let him go. If you really make a break, you will find that he can find someone else to meet his needs.
Wake up and smell the rose or rather shit surrounding you...
infojunkie
Active Member
all u want is getting ppl to fuss over u & ur supposedly GREAT TRUE LOVE...
do u even care abt getting advices?
stop wasting everyone's time here ok?
*shake head*
do u even care abt getting advices?
stop wasting everyone's time here ok?
*shake head*
ya the usual "my wife hurt me/my wife betrayed me/my wife is a monster" cum "i married her out of obligation/we married too early" kind of hooking lines...
works damn well as per my earlier posts...
well it can be true of cos... in which case i guess u get to be the plaster and the healer.
works damn well as per my earlier posts...
well it can be true of cos... in which case i guess u get to be the plaster and the healer.
Lol.. XiaoLing..
I just reread you post.. and find it so amusing...
"she betrayed him before, and he got deeply hurt by that incident. Well, he chose to forgive but the feeling towards her not as before. He said he is still traumatized by that incident... "
Yes.. i can tell exactly how traumatised he was by betrayal... to go seek out another woman while forgving his wife..
Cannot forgive the wife but can bang her...
I am not here to "suan" you.. but I just want to point out how ridiculous you sound..
I just reread you post.. and find it so amusing...
"she betrayed him before, and he got deeply hurt by that incident. Well, he chose to forgive but the feeling towards her not as before. He said he is still traumatized by that incident... "
Yes.. i can tell exactly how traumatised he was by betrayal... to go seek out another woman while forgving his wife..
Cannot forgive the wife but can bang her...
I am not here to "suan" you.. but I just want to point out how ridiculous you sound..
Really, i cannot fanthom why females continously fall for the same plot over and over and over..
I really like to credit my gender with more common sense than that.. Last time, we have the excuse of being lowly educated, dun see much of the world..
But now? We have good education, frequent social contracts of the opposite gender and have the luxury of choice..
We end up in the same sinkhole..
I really like to credit my gender with more common sense than that.. Last time, we have the excuse of being lowly educated, dun see much of the world..
But now? We have good education, frequent social contracts of the opposite gender and have the luxury of choice..
We end up in the same sinkhole..
Yes.. that's precisely why I don't understand.. See drama often also can tell rite? Rotten man wil never divorce the wife and married the other woman if they don't intend to do it.. Why TOW still believe his stories?? Cannot say no brains also.. i know some which are career woman by nature but sooo blind to this..
About the article..I have a different word for the man who killed his children.. that is "murderer".
About the article..I have a different word for the man who killed his children.. that is "murderer".
Your initial post:
"I know after hearing the story, most people will ask me to leave him for good sake. I don't know why I'm involved in this relationship which I know it's wrong. But...I cannot imagine how my life would be after leaving him..."
I have the answer. You may be sad, at first. BUT your life will be better, because you will be doing the RIGHT thing (since you've admitted that it is wrong).
You will be set FREE. You will be free from such troubles. If he says he truly loves you, he won't let you go through such unnecessary heartache. You're just being strung along because you ALLOW him to do it to you.
The fruit is there to tempt you. But the fruit can't do anything unless you choose to pick it up.
"I know after hearing the story, most people will ask me to leave him for good sake. I don't know why I'm involved in this relationship which I know it's wrong. But...I cannot imagine how my life would be after leaving him..."
I have the answer. You may be sad, at first. BUT your life will be better, because you will be doing the RIGHT thing (since you've admitted that it is wrong).
You will be set FREE. You will be free from such troubles. If he says he truly loves you, he won't let you go through such unnecessary heartache. You're just being strung along because you ALLOW him to do it to you.
The fruit is there to tempt you. But the fruit can't do anything unless you choose to pick it up.
xiao_nu_ren
New Member
How a woman can fall over the same crux over and over again.... Cos she still cares a hell lot for him. And she'd rather believe that the days she'd spent with him had at least meant something to him. She just not an affair partner to him.... he had looked her up cos he'd really felt something special towards her...
Denails....
Denails....
xiao_nu_ren
New Member
I recommend you to watch 犀利人妻. This is a Taiwan show about affair and study the guy committing the adultery in this show. It also clearly portrays his roller coaster emotion when he's divorcing his wife, and when he saw his wife in another men's arms. And how he start to lose the spark towards TOW and wants his family back.
in short... guys are like small children.. they want something new. the moment they get it and saw someone with their old toy, they will cry and ask for the old toy back..
Okay.. not a male bashing thread.i guess, ladies do it too.. but in all honesty, i seldom see ladies who went for a divorce and then want their husband back.. usually the other way round rite?
Okay.. not a male bashing thread.i guess, ladies do it too.. but in all honesty, i seldom see ladies who went for a divorce and then want their husband back.. usually the other way round rite?
"Along the way, perhaps I got any false hope from him which I thought we might have a future. That's why I keep myself positively to hope a future for us."
Xiao Ling.. he cant really give you any false hopes if you can see what's happening for yourself with a clear mind and not be overrun by fleeting emotions.. Only you can give yourself false hopes by selectively seeing, hearing, believing and feeling what you wish to.
Will you look for someone else to ML with since your bf ML with his wife? Will he be able to accept it if you did that? Doesnt his actions and reactions tell you anything abt his character?
His apparent lack of committment and respect to you already shows how little emotional bonding there is between both of you..
He wont be the first or last guy to tell you all kinds of stories and reasons. For your own good, learn to differentiate which ones are true and which ones not.. so that you can eventually be in a healthy, happy rs..
Xiao Ling.. he cant really give you any false hopes if you can see what's happening for yourself with a clear mind and not be overrun by fleeting emotions.. Only you can give yourself false hopes by selectively seeing, hearing, believing and feeling what you wish to.
Will you look for someone else to ML with since your bf ML with his wife? Will he be able to accept it if you did that? Doesnt his actions and reactions tell you anything abt his character?
His apparent lack of committment and respect to you already shows how little emotional bonding there is between both of you..
He wont be the first or last guy to tell you all kinds of stories and reasons. For your own good, learn to differentiate which ones are true and which ones not.. so that you can eventually be in a healthy, happy rs..
infojunkie
Active Member
written by a guy who knew both genders well, i think this j-drama - http://www.tudou.com/playlist/p/l8542672.html - presents a far more detailed and fairer depiction of ppl involved in EMA...
11 episodes altogether.
an interesting watch... with a GD ending
11 episodes altogether.
an interesting watch... with a GD ending
xiao ling, are u the sister of hsian lin, the one who threw herself at my husband and still can't let go of him? your type is just unbelievably mad. trust me, my husband fed that same bullshit u were fed by your man. i've read those messages before. yes, like the rest say, the cheating husbands tend to have the same modus operandi.
how would you feel if you were the wife, and this is being played on you?
how would you feel if you were the wife, and this is being played on you?
reddyredlee
New Member
Xiaoling, ultimately u have to decide what you want? Hanging on to him doesn't seem to be a gd idea Since ur bf have said that he will stick to ur wife. U may PM me if you wanna talk more on it.
TOW told me my hubby told her he didn't love me anymore, said he's still staying married to me because of the kids. Said he told her he can't even bear to touch me any longer.
My hubby told me he had to say such stuff to her coz she's crazy and he had to say those things to keep her happy. He told me she was s**t and cheap. He said I was his pillar and he couldn't live without me.
Go figure... Why on earth should a cheating man's words be worth anything of value? Until he has proven to be a man of honor, either to u or his poor wife, his words are empty words.
My hubby told me he had to say such stuff to her coz she's crazy and he had to say those things to keep her happy. He told me she was s**t and cheap. He said I was his pillar and he couldn't live without me.
Go figure... Why on earth should a cheating man's words be worth anything of value? Until he has proven to be a man of honor, either to u or his poor wife, his words are empty words.
Hi all,
Thanks for all the advices…really appreciate it!!!
To li mat, Im very sure you got the wrong person, I am not the lady you mentioned in your post. ïŠ
I’ve been reading through all the posts again & again during this weekend… I was calming myself and keeping myself away from him for the past 2 days to give myself a clear mind what should I do next…
If anyone ask me, do I miss him for these 2 days? Yes I do. However, whenever I started to miss him (like what powder said, started to miss those sweet memories together etc), I tried to switch my thought asap to the bad sides of his behavior & stories…
For these 2 days, I’ve read through some of the other posts from this forum and started to think really carefully about this r/s.
Few questions I pondered:
1) Am I brave enough to play the game? As in be the playful lady who doesn’t mind about the future but just to enjoy the r/s at this very moment?
2) How could I endure everything especially when he’s still having “normal†life with his wife and he tells me that he loves me so much? Am I so carefree to share him with her?
3) Do I really love him? If other man appeared during the most vulnerable time of mine, would I fall in love with the other man?
4) If the r/s is disclosed, how I am going to face my family & friends who trust me so much? Especially I am a good girl in their eyes.
5) Do I want to continue be like this? My schedule is revolved his? Always be the waiting side and cant have the priority to be the one who take the initiative?
I believe most of the forummer could give a fine good answer for each of the question above. I have my answers as well…
I know what I want now...
Although I’ve been really hurt by my last relationship (8 years long), although my age is not the “golden stage†anymore…I still truly believe & look forward to have a blissful marriage, I still believe I can find “The Oneâ€â€¦
As for him, unless he really loves me…He might be the one…But, by looking at what had happened & what is happening, I don’t think he is the one…
Of course, I still worry I cant find the true love…still fear to be alone…
I’ve learnt something new…fear & worry would stop you from finding your ultimate soulmate…Instead, LOVE YOURSELF & Be Yourself!
I am going to confront him during the next meet-up…
Or anyone would suggest me not to do the confrontation but just let the r/s cool down in a natural way (for instance, I just ignore him?)
Thanks for all the advices…really appreciate it!!!
To li mat, Im very sure you got the wrong person, I am not the lady you mentioned in your post. ïŠ
I’ve been reading through all the posts again & again during this weekend… I was calming myself and keeping myself away from him for the past 2 days to give myself a clear mind what should I do next…
If anyone ask me, do I miss him for these 2 days? Yes I do. However, whenever I started to miss him (like what powder said, started to miss those sweet memories together etc), I tried to switch my thought asap to the bad sides of his behavior & stories…
For these 2 days, I’ve read through some of the other posts from this forum and started to think really carefully about this r/s.
Few questions I pondered:
1) Am I brave enough to play the game? As in be the playful lady who doesn’t mind about the future but just to enjoy the r/s at this very moment?
2) How could I endure everything especially when he’s still having “normal†life with his wife and he tells me that he loves me so much? Am I so carefree to share him with her?
3) Do I really love him? If other man appeared during the most vulnerable time of mine, would I fall in love with the other man?
4) If the r/s is disclosed, how I am going to face my family & friends who trust me so much? Especially I am a good girl in their eyes.
5) Do I want to continue be like this? My schedule is revolved his? Always be the waiting side and cant have the priority to be the one who take the initiative?
I believe most of the forummer could give a fine good answer for each of the question above. I have my answers as well…
I know what I want now...
Although I’ve been really hurt by my last relationship (8 years long), although my age is not the “golden stage†anymore…I still truly believe & look forward to have a blissful marriage, I still believe I can find “The Oneâ€â€¦
As for him, unless he really loves me…He might be the one…But, by looking at what had happened & what is happening, I don’t think he is the one…
Of course, I still worry I cant find the true love…still fear to be alone…
I’ve learnt something new…fear & worry would stop you from finding your ultimate soulmate…Instead, LOVE YOURSELF & Be Yourself!
I am going to confront him during the next meet-up…
Or anyone would suggest me not to do the confrontation but just let the r/s cool down in a natural way (for instance, I just ignore him?)
susanna_low
New Member
Xiaoling, looking @ the other threads, I believe u hv the ans~ it's pointless to tangle in a love triangle, no good ending n sm1 else suffered on ur happiness.
The most impt part is married men who stray r nt reliable n cant be trusted.
Even if he belongs to u, u sure u wan to be with this type of man and to live in constant fear tat he will stray again?
He might sweet talk to u this moment and once u turn ur back behind, he do it again, it's a never ending routine.
U sure u wan a man like tat?
I rather stay single then and save myself fr heartbreak seriously.
I cant afford to play this game for sure.
Eh..wat u wan to confront him on since u already noe tat he's nt leaving his wifey..
wat i can really suggest is to continue on ur searching and concentrate to spend ur time on some eligible worthy guys instead.
The most impt part is married men who stray r nt reliable n cant be trusted.
Even if he belongs to u, u sure u wan to be with this type of man and to live in constant fear tat he will stray again?
He might sweet talk to u this moment and once u turn ur back behind, he do it again, it's a never ending routine.
U sure u wan a man like tat?
I rather stay single then and save myself fr heartbreak seriously.
I cant afford to play this game for sure.
Eh..wat u wan to confront him on since u already noe tat he's nt leaving his wifey..
wat i can really suggest is to continue on ur searching and concentrate to spend ur time on some eligible worthy guys instead.
dont confront ma?
Im thinking to tell him whatever in my mind and see what he'll respond and show his true colours...
If dont confront also very difficult, because we are sharing the same work place (not colleague, but vendor-client r/s)...meeting each & other almost everyday...
Im thinking to tell him whatever in my mind and see what he'll respond and show his true colours...
If dont confront also very difficult, because we are sharing the same work place (not colleague, but vendor-client r/s)...meeting each & other almost everyday...
Actually, his true colors also show a long time ago, you just dun want to acknowledge la..
if that's the case, will it be feasible for a job change? Beside it being emotionally hard for you to break away from him, being a vendor-client relationship might make things difficult for you
if that's the case, will it be feasible for a job change? Beside it being emotionally hard for you to break away from him, being a vendor-client relationship might make things difficult for you
susanna_low
New Member
maybe not really confront but to make a clean break? state things clearly and tell him tat u wan to quit the game.
Both of u sounds like work spouse, i goggle this
A work spouse is a co-worker, usually of the opposite sex,[1] with whom one shares a special relationship, having bonds similar to those of a marriage; such as, confidences, loyalties, shared experiences, and a degree of honesty or openness. The work spouse is a potentially key relationship when one's actual spouse or boy/girlfriend is not able to be there. As people work more and more and spend less and less time at home, these hybrid relationships have begun to spawn more and more.
Both of u sounds like work spouse, i goggle this
A work spouse is a co-worker, usually of the opposite sex,[1] with whom one shares a special relationship, having bonds similar to those of a marriage; such as, confidences, loyalties, shared experiences, and a degree of honesty or openness. The work spouse is a potentially key relationship when one's actual spouse or boy/girlfriend is not able to be there. As people work more and more and spend less and less time at home, these hybrid relationships have begun to spawn more and more.
Well, i did think of having the last gamble but I clearly know that I'll be the losing one too...mayb it's a way to really make my heart "dies"? but, like what Ting Yi said, I wanted to have the clean break too...
I also thought of a job change, but our job function dont really interact much...furthermore, the job im having now is good also...maybe will switch job after getting a better one?
I also thought of a job change, but our job function dont really interact much...furthermore, the job im having now is good also...maybe will switch job after getting a better one?
Try to get another job asap. Cos proximity is a factor as well.. If u really want to do clear break, go change ur number as well
Furthermore, when u change ur work environment, u will b tied up in trying to adapt to the place, u will not have time to think. New environment also give a new mindset, more power not to see him cos not close enough.
Of course la, if you on the way up to be promoted or being selected for grooming, you need to weigh the factors in changing.. But other than that, start submitting ur resume ba?
Furthermore, when u change ur work environment, u will b tied up in trying to adapt to the place, u will not have time to think. New environment also give a new mindset, more power not to see him cos not close enough.
Of course la, if you on the way up to be promoted or being selected for grooming, you need to weigh the factors in changing.. But other than that, start submitting ur resume ba?