Hi all,
It is my first time posting here. Have seen a few threads with problems that are similar to mine but I have decided to post my issue here hoping to gain some advise and insight from more experienced members here.
Well the story goes like that... Been with this girl after university for the past 4 years. She is a great girl with a great personality. That was what I was after initially after (after coming out of a previous relationship with a girl with psychopath personality but that's another story for another time).
We were pretty intimate initially but it has dwindled down to almost nothing after 4 years. In fact, there haven't been anything intimate between the both of us for slightly more than a year. Even before that, our were seldom intimate. For everything else, we are great as a couple. We enjoy spending time together, going on holidays, and pretty much being together with friends and families from both sides. On the surface, people think that we are perfect together, and with a flat coming, we ought to be getting married soon. But deep beneath is a series of struggle both of us are trying to make sense of. It seems that we have lost interest in each others body and we are behaving like best friends more than lovers. She does not seem to be interested in my body, while the situation is likewise on my end.
We recently celebrated our 4th anniversary with a staycation. The nights were the hardest as we layed on the bed feeling pressured to do something "intimate". Of course nothing was initiated. It was hard. There were tears. But we slept it off and woke up the next morning for breakfast, pretending nothing has happened.
My flat is coming in 2 years and we are being pressured by friends and family to get married. But we know we cannot do that. We have even briefly mentioned to each other it is impossible to carry on this way. But non of us dare to talk about it openly.
Appreciate if anyone here can give me some advise and direction.
It is my first time posting here. Have seen a few threads with problems that are similar to mine but I have decided to post my issue here hoping to gain some advise and insight from more experienced members here.
Well the story goes like that... Been with this girl after university for the past 4 years. She is a great girl with a great personality. That was what I was after initially after (after coming out of a previous relationship with a girl with psychopath personality but that's another story for another time).
We were pretty intimate initially but it has dwindled down to almost nothing after 4 years. In fact, there haven't been anything intimate between the both of us for slightly more than a year. Even before that, our were seldom intimate. For everything else, we are great as a couple. We enjoy spending time together, going on holidays, and pretty much being together with friends and families from both sides. On the surface, people think that we are perfect together, and with a flat coming, we ought to be getting married soon. But deep beneath is a series of struggle both of us are trying to make sense of. It seems that we have lost interest in each others body and we are behaving like best friends more than lovers. She does not seem to be interested in my body, while the situation is likewise on my end.
We recently celebrated our 4th anniversary with a staycation. The nights were the hardest as we layed on the bed feeling pressured to do something "intimate". Of course nothing was initiated. It was hard. There were tears. But we slept it off and woke up the next morning for breakfast, pretending nothing has happened.
My flat is coming in 2 years and we are being pressured by friends and family to get married. But we know we cannot do that. We have even briefly mentioned to each other it is impossible to carry on this way. But non of us dare to talk about it openly.
Appreciate if anyone here can give me some advise and direction.
