Singaporebrides | Weddings 101

June 2012

6 Signs You’re Too Obsessed With Your Wedding

You’ve been dreaming about walking down the aisle since you were 10, so it’s absolutely normal to be excited about your Big Day. Yet it’s only too easy to let the rollercoaster ride of emotions and never-ending stream of decision-making spiral out of control. Before you turn into Bridezilla and annoy everyone from the bridesmaids to your in-laws, SingaporeBrides lists six telltale signs that you might be going overboard – and shows you how to tone it down.

#1: Your wedding research occupies 5GB on your iPad

Since the night he popped the question, you’ve been researching non-stop. From bridal bouquets to invitation card designs to solemnisation table set-ups, you have been adding photos, articles, and videos to your iPad. Even your Chrome browser features no less than 50 bookmarks on wedding-related websites. You spend all your spare time browsing what you’ve collected (sometimes during work hours too!), but still have difficulty deciding on well, everything.

Before you turn into Bridezilla… Realise that you won’t have enough time to check out every single bridal boutique. So, first do your research with our online directory and narrow down your preferred wedding vendors to the top three or five. Next, visit these vendors and listen to their advice. Follow us on our Pinterest site for some inspiration. Then, make a conscious effort to start making decisions – looking at all those pretty photos will not make a wedding happen.

#2: You call, SMS or email your Maid of Honour every 15 minutes

It is 3 am in the morning. A sudden thought wakes you up – you need to tell your Maid of Honour to take two people off the guest list! You reach for the mobile phone to send her a text: “Hi Jane, sorry to disturb… can we discuss the guest list tomorrow at 7.30am before I head off to work?” Then, barely half an hour later, you send her a second text: “I forgot about the flowers – I’ve decided to have peonies instead of roses.” The cycle continues the next day, and the next… until your bridesmaids are utterly confused by your ever-changing instructions.

Before you turn into Bridezilla… Limit the number of times you call, SMS or email those who are helping you with your wedding. You may think that you’re keeping up with things, but you couldn’t be more wrong. Firing off random messages, and calling to “update on things” every 15 minutes will only serve to confuse and frustrate. If you want your best mates to do the best they can, take a big step back. Jot down your updates, and brief them during scheduled meetings instead.

#3: You can’t stop talking about your Big Day – on Facebook or anywhere else

Some brides-to-be get so hyped up about their weddings that they just can’t stop talking about it. If you update on Facebook with multiple photographs the minute you arrive at each wedding venue or complain about the bad attitude of a wedding photographer all through dinner, yes, we’re referring to you. Actually, we understand why you would go on and on about the trials and tribulations of planning a wedding from scratch (because it’s not easy!). But do understand that the people around you might need a break sometimes.

Before you turn into Bridezilla… If you know that you’ve been talking about your wedding non-stop, curb yourself. Let your parents, fiancé, and gal pals know that you’re aware that conversations have been centered on your Big Day. Ask them to give you a nudge if they see that you can’t stop talking about wedding details. Also, make it a point to listen to others too – you may be getting married, but your friends have other stories to share about their lives too.

#4: You hide your wedding details from friends who are also getting married

So you’ve finally decided on that princess-cut, Swarovski crystal-covered gown. Oh, and fresh hydrangeas for your bouquet, edible lilac blooms on the wedding cupcakes, and a royal purple theme for your banquet. In fact, you’ve done such meticulous research on these wedding details that you are refusing to share any of them with even your closest pals. Kelly* remembers: “My close friend Geraldine* and I both got married last December. At that time, I thought that we could exchange ideas, share vendor contacts and support each other through all the stressful planning process. But I was wrong. It didn’t take me long to discover that Geraldine was lying to me about everything, from the type of gown she preferred to her chosen colour theme. Turned out that she was afraid that I would steal her ideas!” Needless to say, the two of them are no longer friends.

Before you turn into Bridezilla… Realise that not every bride-to-be out there is planning to steal your ideas. Yes, royal purple may be magical to you. But it may not be the colour that rocks your best pal’s boat. Besides, if you do a quick search online, no two purple-themed weddings ever look alike. Wedding vendors – from gown designers to florists to photographers – have a knack for creating customised weddings based on individual preferences. So get over it – don’t let silly things like that ruin a beautiful friendship.

#5: You have recurring nightmares about things going wrong at your wedding

If you woke up drenched in sweat because you dreamt that a pyramid of champagne glasses came crashing down during your toast, you’re probably getting a little too anxious about your wedding. Natalie* says: “When I was planning my wedding a year ago, my husband had been going away on business trips frequently. I felt so overwhelmed by all the wedding preparations that I was jolted from my sleep every night. I had nightmares of all the things that could go wrong during my wedding.”

Before you turn into Bridezilla… Understand that it is nearly impossible to have a “perfect” wedding, in every sense of the word. Guests will turn up late, children will spill juice on the floor, your groom will forget his vows, and at least one uncle will get drunk. So, don’t waste your time (and precious sleep) agonising over the things that could go wrong. Fill your mind with happier thoughts – like how you’re getting married to your soulmate soon – instead.

#6: You’ve been nagging at or neglecting your groom-to-be

When you go on a date night with your fiancé, do you only talk about the wedding and nothing else? In fact, does he fall silent when you ask (for the millionth time) whether to go with lace or crystals for your bridal gown? Or, perhaps, he has no chance to talk because you keep nagging at him to sort out the banquet seating arrangement? If these situations sound familiar, you may be a little too obsessed with the wedding – and are not paying enough attention to your special guy.

Before you turn into Bridezilla… Realise that a wedding is not just about you. The special person in your life should be part of the joyous event too. So don’t leave him out of those wedding plans (and bulldoze your way through every decision). Also, get your priorities right. Ultimately, it’s not so much about wedding but about whom you’re marrying. So make sure you spend enough time with Mr. Right too.

*Not their real names