Would you accept your husband being a "buddy" to a female colleague?

[miloice]

sm,
even if they did, would all of them be frank about it?

Anyway, I don't think there is anything to endorse or approve about others going for plastic surgery. Not for you, me or anyone else actually. Even for our spouses. Would anyone start to think otherwise about their spouses just because they had a double eye lid or chin job done years back? We marry the person we love now never about history. So, what's there to really oppose or endorse? There are those that do have strong discriminating views over it. Speaking in general here... not targetting anyone in particular. And I'm really trying to address that. If its something we don't value, we shouldn't be discriminating anyone because of that too. Else, we are just contradicting our own stand about it.

 

[kittenpie]

Sm, the eyelid job looked artificial to you, hence you asked?

just curious

 

[sharepoint]

Sm, ok although I am surprise they are that open to a guy…I might not even tell my partner even I have done it although I am not sure there will be any scar or telltale sign.

 

[miloice]

ok.... I just did a search on dawn yang before and after...
http://www.shun2u.com/2008/05/dawn-yang-before-after.html

She was quite pretty to begin with. Just without makeup, contact lens and visibly more meaty and darker complexion.

I have one observation of her photos with her new look found online... She is always in that 'fxxx' me kind look now. Not sure if she is purposely posing like this every shot. If yes, its really a reflection on how vain she is about her looks. Perhaps, its what makes her famous and now making sure to maximize it in every shot.

 

[sgbabydoll]

Talking about eyelid job, I had been asked where I had mine done because I have rather deep lines over the eyelids, but they are natural. Used to feel insulted when I was a teenager but now I bochup liao.

For me, I want to look as natural as possible. I go for facials and use skincare to improve my skin texture so that I can use as little makeup as possible. One year ago I found a very good skincare system suitable for me and now I just use tinted moisturiser with loose powder, eyeliner, mascara and lipgloss before I step out of the house. No false eyelashes, eyeshadow or lipstick even.

I won't consider invasive looks enhancements like plastic surgery, but I might use botox one day lah. Don't know yet.....

 

[vios]

milo,

no lah... i'm not discounting, discrediting or condemning; it's just a personal gripe on the outcome of the major enhancements - on which i'm more appreciative of the natural and minor-enhancement types, as described in my earlier post.

btw, i'm only touching on the physical aspect, not the skin deep beauty. and personally, i don't know dawn at all or any other bigtime-surgically-enhanced women, so it's kinda moot to comment that i'm shallow and superficial for not exploring the interior aspects as well. for that matter, i certainly won't judge solely based on just that.

however still, i have no doubts that the 'new and better look' would boost one's confidence and helps to improve any level of self-esteem.

 

[vios]

"I have one observation of her photos with her new look found online... She is always in that 'fxxx' me kind look now."

- yah lah, just why i had commented that she is no doubt prettier, but also sluttish-looking...

 

[miloice]

vios, frankly, reminds me of the numerous Japanese AV babes. And also lots of such sweet profile photos in networking sites like FB.

Don't we notice how young gals are posing and snapping away with their mobiles nowadays? Its really not the uncommon

Doll, my colleagues even asked if I visit beautician to curl my eye lashes. I have clearly longer thicker ones than my wife. I don't mind donating or implanting them to my wife.

 

[vios]

"frankly, reminds me of the numerous Japanese AV babes."

hahaha.... true true

 

[vios]

yoz sm, just curious....

other than dawn yang's type of vast transformation, does your belief also includes minor types, such as a cut on the eyelids or higher-cheeks for instances?

 

[cococherry]

kim tae hee is the kind of girl for me.

I heard that she is the only 'natural' actress in the korea entertainment industry and graduated from Korea Top University.

Dawn yang looks weird when she smile now, probably too much plastic surgery

 

[thommy]

dawn yang could very well end up like MJ...nose dropping off one day.

 

[miloice]

Kind of exaggerated lah. Many people are into cosmetic enhancements. Not all will result the same as mj. He is a sad case of being a victim of his trapped childhood and success having enablers surrounding him.

 

[sgbabydoll]

Milo, I happen to have long, curly lashes but they are not thick enough. If I apply a lot of mascara, they can look like false eyelashes. Been asked where I got my lash perm or false eyelashes before.

My aim is to be able to go to the office with no makeup, one day haha

 

[thommy]

doll, u really sound like a doll leh...

 

[sgbabydoll]

Thomas, why you like this say?

 

[thommy]

cos ur eyelashes are long just like Barbie doll

 

[sgbabydoll]

Yes, but I will be honest, with the help of the right mascara! Which means you also can look like Barbie doll haha

 

[watching]

Doll,
Mind uploading your photo here? I'd like to check you out.

 

[miloice]

watching, no need to upload. just PM her?
I'm sure folks like scope are still lurking around. Maybe writing more crap in his blog with no followers except himself.

 

[sgbabydoll]

Oei, I didn't go under the knives lah.

 

[miloice]

maybe u can upload a zoom in photo of your eye lashes??

 

[sgbabydoll]

I think looks is an overall thing, not specific body parts or features. And you need confidence to carry them out.

 

[watching]

Aiyah....doesn't matter to me if you went under the knife...I wanna see how pretty you are...no need to be afraid of not living up to people's expectation of Doll-like beauty. Wheter Scope is still lurking around....doesn't matter too...

 

[sgbabydoll]

I almost flipped reading your post, Watching. I'll be very honest that I am not a beauty. I just don't look my age, which is something that I am very happy about.

 

[miloice]

Frankly, most of us look really different back in school as students even without any cosmetic surgery. Be honest, if you compare your own photos, you could probably see big contrast. And most guys will see how slim we were back in NS.

More so for ladies. Dressing and make up makes alot of differences. Also, photography can trick the eyes. We can look fatter and thinner simply by dressing and lightings. If we all pose the Fxxx me look in every shot we do now, its also probably very very different. And some would think all you ladies underwent some surgery as well.

One should just observe and spot the difference in the features only. And not be affected by the other factors.

 

[watching]

Doll,
Do you have a flat stomach? Are your nipples pointing north/middle/south? (don't mind me asking) Visible veins in your calves? Crow's feet showing? Turkey neck? Premature grey hair? How many years younger do you look?

 

[miloice]

wow! watching... r u very particular about your own appearances?

Frankly, I am never even bothered with any of those. Just not the extremes.

 

[watching]

Milo,
No lah....just checking Doll out. I wanna know so I can learn her tricks. Maybe I sound particular, but I don't think it's odd to ask. Many girls check out other girls too.

 

[miloice]

hi watching,

that's actually quite sad thing in some sense. Like my wife, she is always particular about her skin problems on her back and arms. Frankly, she has a great body with good curves. That's what is appealing and I'm all for her to wear something more revealing and sexy. Its completely okie even with the slight tummy. But, as always, she is so particular that someone will notice about her minor spots and scars.

I will not bother of such details. If a woman is beautiful, it doesn't mean she has perfect skin and everything else. She is just appealing and attractive on the whole despite whatever imperfections.

And some women can have the best complexion etc, but they might not even be as attractive.

 

[watching]

Milo,
I suppose men and women have different outlooks on beauty. What is tolerable to you may not be what is okay to some women. To me, if a women is slim enough and have good skin, she passes my beauty-quotient. The rest, she can camouflage with lighting, cuttings of clothes, high heels and make-up. (photoshop is cheating)

 

[sgbabydoll]

Watching, looking young is genetic cos all my family members don't look their age. Maybe because we are not tall people. Perhaps vigorous exercise in younger days has helped somewhat to slow down aging? Oh, dressing too.

But I have premature grey hair since I was a teenager. That can be easily fixed with regular colouring or simply use hair mascara.

No flat stomach but still look cool in bikini. No visible veins in calves (I am mostly in miniskirt or hot pants on weekends), no crow's feet showing and no turkey neck.

Definitely don't look 10years younger than my age but hopefully can get there one day. My beautician who is 58 looks like 40-something! So, I have hopes since I am in her good care haha.

 

[sgbabydoll]

Maybe you should tell us more about your looks, Watching!

 

[watching]

Doll,
You can carry off wearing hotpants at, I assume, in your late thirties? Wow...

Hey, you didn't answer my nipple question!

I read somewhere that the French, while experimenting with some drugs to cure some kind of cancer, they accidentally stumbled on the side effects that reverses the process of grey hair, producing melanin in hair. It is not available to the public yet, I think they are still testing. There is a myth that some variant of vitamin B also reverses/stops grey hair. Do you find it a chore to dye your hair?

 

[watching]

Doll,
I don't want to be put on the spot about my looks, I preach one thing but do another. Ha!

 

[miloice]

Yah, even men's definition of slim differs from women's. Many women are never happy with their weight even though they are not fat at all.

Being slim isn't always a criteria for beauty. There are beautiful but yet plumper women.

 

[denise80]

It is true that men have different definitions of 'slim'...

most men I met were okay with women who are slightly on the fleshy side..

some men I know however are more particular and only like skinny, waif or slim women

one man's meat is another man's poison haa

 

[watching]

Milo,
That ex-girlfriend of yours, the dominating one, how did/does she look like?

 

[miloice]

She was short, high forehead, not at all the chio type. Very plain jane. We were colleagues.

My wife is quite contrasting with her. Tall, broad shoulders, long legs, soft spoken and very much more demure and less confronting in character. She kind of accused me of placing my wife's photos in my office to spite her and trying to teach her lessons through my emails I sent to my friends over books or info I found interesting. She was in my mailing list of friends then. Since then, I removed her from the list. I have always treated her as my friend still. But, I guess she is always sensitive and doubting others intentions. Its probably better for her that I just leave her alone and not contact her anymore.

 

[watching]

Milo,
Did you put up your ex-girlfriend's photos in the office before your wife came to the picture? If so, it looks like a replacement, even if you do not intend it that way.

 

[miloice]

no. Like you, she was super protective over her privacy. Of cos I will not display her photos. In fact, we had to keep our relationship from colleagues. It was an open secret amongst the lunch group actually but she pretends its nothing and we communicate only thr SMS or emails in office.

 

[watching]

Milo,
How long can one keep his/her relationship a secret from most colleagues? Difficult to sustain like that.

I only "allow" pretty pictures of myself seen by others. I am not photogenic so I am protective in that aspect. I cringe if others have ugly pictures of me.

 

[miloice]

It went on for 3 yrs and our breakup had to be managed pretty much the same manner as well. Only one day, I placed my wife photos and the older colleagues then knew I have a new gf. The newer ones didn't know of our history.

She actually gave up the lunch group because she was feeling so much pressure. But all these while, its pretty much self imposed. She was always so sensitive with what colleagues are saying and expecting me to be protective to rebuke or speak on her behalf. Each time that I didn't, she would be so disappointed in me. Writing me emails about how upset she was with me just letting colleagues 'bully' her.

I see all these as nothing more than casual suanings and talks during lunch. To her, its always a political suaning battle. And I'm just too blur to read the intentions of others.

 

[miloice]

"I only "allow" pretty pictures of myself seen by others."

haha.... quite common lah. Think gals are naturally vainer. My wife will QC what I put also.

 

[miloice]

As I think back, she was really a very fun friend to be with despite all the conflicts we had. The moments and memories we had were very good too. She was much more extrovert than me. Always going out to try new things etc.

 

[watching]

Milo,
Was she bullied in some sense by the colleagues? Have you ever brought her home to see your family? If yes, on what kind of terms were they with her?

 

[miloice]

Only once. She hated my mum. My family sees me suffering from moodswings and at the mercy of her activation. They were worried but none dared to voice out. I too became critical about simple minor things around and would rebuke my family over the slightest things. I became a pretty sensitive and touchy person myself.

She is always feeling her colleagues were bullying her. But, these are my colleagues as well. We were a big group and we always crack jokes and suanings. She took joined in many of the jokes. Just as long as its not at her. Every team lunch was also so tense and political. Its political because the people made it political. I can just enjoy my lunch without needing to read into all these at all.

But, after being with her, the expectation is always for me to be watchful and protect her from her self imposed miseries.

For sure, politics exist in any organization. But, its exactly like minds like hers that it is magnified to the max. One can choose to be immune to it all.

 

[watching]

Milo,
She hated your mother...why? Your mother hated her too? They met only once.

On a personal basis, people usually hate each other when they've had more interaction.

 

[miloice]

I believe couples influence each other in many ways than we know. If the relationship is turning abusive, with individuals displaying the worst sides of themselves, its clearly not working. We were not compatible despite our best tries. It left us exhausted and drained emotionally.

Through that relationship, I finally grew and wake up from my stupid ideas about love and relationship. Emotions will not make things work. It just give us the passion. To sustain it, we need compatibility and synergy. That would be the assurance of what THE ONE is really about.

 

[watching]

Milo,
If she's an extrovert, she should be able to stand up for herself...no need someone to protect her. It's nice to have someone to tally but she'd command more respect if she's able to shut off others and put them in their place, all on her own.