Would you accept your husband being a "buddy" to a female colleague?
- Thread starter glamour83
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I don't find her type of chioness appealing..
To me is fake. Fake is a big turn-off for me. If very minor I can still accept.. One of the worst has to be boobs.. fake boobs are a total turn-off.
But I guess women look at themselves differently.. they rather be fake and pretty than real and ugly.
But a lot of woman are not ugly and they made themselves so call "pretty" but turns out to me to be revolting.
To me is fake. Fake is a big turn-off for me. If very minor I can still accept.. One of the worst has to be boobs.. fake boobs are a total turn-off.
But I guess women look at themselves differently.. they rather be fake and pretty than real and ugly.
But a lot of woman are not ugly and they made themselves so call "pretty" but turns out to me to be revolting.
miloice
Well-Known Member
About appearances, its not a matter fake or real. Its simply beautiful or not. Some enhancements are just done poorly and unnaturally. What I enjoy looking at a babe, I don't need to wonder how much of it is real or fake. My instincts are more to marvel at what is pleasing to my eyes.
Not all fake boobs look like anti-gravity mountains. What if one has to go through mastectomy? Can't they reconstruct a fake breast? What's so unacceptable that one has a fake implant in them?
What's more important is how the individuals see and value themselves. No point discrediting someone because of their implants.
About make up, my wife hardly put on make up. Sometimes, its really nice to see her with make up to match the dressing lah. But, no need for everyday. Natural look is more appropriate for normal everyday dressing.
Not all fake boobs look like anti-gravity mountains. What if one has to go through mastectomy? Can't they reconstruct a fake breast? What's so unacceptable that one has a fake implant in them?
What's more important is how the individuals see and value themselves. No point discrediting someone because of their implants.
About make up, my wife hardly put on make up. Sometimes, its really nice to see her with make up to match the dressing lah. But, no need for everyday. Natural look is more appropriate for normal everyday dressing.
Milo, therein our values differ.
To me beauty is only skin deep. What is more important to me is not the appearance of beauty. Hence I won't place much value to something that was enhanced physically.
People can feel good about being physically enhanced and that is their prerogative. But I don't value it.
There is nothing wrong with someone wanting to enhance their breasts for their own personal feel good factor. But if they are thinking that their bf or hb will definitely embrace them they may be mistaken. I would strongly oppose to my gf having to enhance her breasts. If for her own self esteem I can accept. But I will not embrace. What is wrong with the original? Self esteem can be enhanced in other ways
To me beauty is only skin deep. What is more important to me is not the appearance of beauty. Hence I won't place much value to something that was enhanced physically.
People can feel good about being physically enhanced and that is their prerogative. But I don't value it.
There is nothing wrong with someone wanting to enhance their breasts for their own personal feel good factor. But if they are thinking that their bf or hb will definitely embrace them they may be mistaken. I would strongly oppose to my gf having to enhance her breasts. If for her own self esteem I can accept. But I will not embrace. What is wrong with the original? Self esteem can be enhanced in other ways
the reference made to their own girls was more abt 80% having visited cosmetic surgeons and had jobs done... i dun think breast implants are particularly popular cos asian women dun need big boobs to enhance themselves... sharp features via tweaking with the nose n lips and maybe a chin-lift should suffice... if u go too wholesale, close pple will know and there's simply too much downtime from work.
my thoughts on surgery are similar to Milo's. i appreciate the appearance as it comes, regardless whether enhanced or not, as long as it is aesthetically pleasing.
to me, being artificially enhanced does not make the final product superior or inferior. to me, surgery is but a mere process.
i find that artificial enhance can even be an admirable self-enhancement initiative. The outcome is an accomplishment of aspirations.
it is the realisation of the idealisation of a high standard of aesthetics.
our personality and our achievements in life are a function of our character and our aspirations. likewise our appearance. ultimately, all of us evolve into who we want to be, whether the desire is conscious/ subconscious/ unconscious. a beautiful plastic girl may be plastic, but she is nevertheless beautiful. and perhaps even more so considering that she has recognised her goal, and gone on to actively pursue and achieve the appearance of her dreams.
i have yet to meet a woman whose face is fully surgeried all over. im very curious. does it look as good in person as in picture? i wonder
to me, being artificially enhanced does not make the final product superior or inferior. to me, surgery is but a mere process.
i find that artificial enhance can even be an admirable self-enhancement initiative. The outcome is an accomplishment of aspirations.
it is the realisation of the idealisation of a high standard of aesthetics.
our personality and our achievements in life are a function of our character and our aspirations. likewise our appearance. ultimately, all of us evolve into who we want to be, whether the desire is conscious/ subconscious/ unconscious. a beautiful plastic girl may be plastic, but she is nevertheless beautiful. and perhaps even more so considering that she has recognised her goal, and gone on to actively pursue and achieve the appearance of her dreams.
i have yet to meet a woman whose face is fully surgeried all over. im very curious. does it look as good in person as in picture? i wonder
miloice
Well-Known Member
Also, think about all those folks that body build and exercise and look great... We don't naturally develop huge chest and bulking biceps and dashboard abs in our work nature. Its all enhancements done to our bodies healthily. As long as one has healthy perspective over themselves and appearances, nothing is really bad about making it look better.
We don't just exercise for health. Its a irony that many folks the bodybuilders can have high blood pressure and are regular smokers. That's the dangers of inbalanced high protein diet that is not appropriate with the training.
We don't just exercise for health. Its a irony that many folks the bodybuilders can have high blood pressure and are regular smokers. That's the dangers of inbalanced high protein diet that is not appropriate with the training.
nah, not for me... a woman living in the plastic world, like dawn yang, is only pleasing to my eyes in the briefest of moments because it doesn't look like it's natural beauty. no doubt she looked prettier (and slightly sluttish, to be honest) as compared to her old self, but it isn't the type of beauty that i would continuously admire, like for the next 30mins. of course it sounds good if we talk about fulfilling personal desires, like in dawn's case - might be true on that count, but in the contrary, it speaks of certain insecurities as well... of course that's not only based on external levels even if the person adamantly denies it.
personally, it's fine to undergo non-surgical applications or minor surgical ones, such as eyelids. the wholesale types doesn't work for me because it's overly done-ded, isn't it?
personally, it's fine to undergo non-surgical applications or minor surgical ones, such as eyelids. the wholesale types doesn't work for me because it's overly done-ded, isn't it?
miloice
Well-Known Member
What matters is the person is living their lives to the fullest and not using surgical enhancements as a fix to their self esteem and personal issues. It doesn't matter if the whole thinks they are fake. They are frank about who they are and want they want in their lives.
Isn't it just as shallow and superficial to discount someone simply because they have undergone the knife? Look at the person for who she/he is. Not just for the presence of the silicon underneath the skin.
Isn't it just as shallow and superficial to discount someone simply because they have undergone the knife? Look at the person for who she/he is. Not just for the presence of the silicon underneath the skin.
sgbabydoll
Active Member
å‡å¦‚ä½ æ˜¯é å¼ è„¸åƒé¥ï¼Œ perhaps you really need plastic surgery to enhance your face and even the body. Otherwise, I don't know who will really stare at your countenance or body close-up to notice every single fine details lah.
miloice
Well-Known Member
You cannot denial that she does have some X factor. You can call it fake or act cute, but it works. In comparisons with the many wannabes u watch on Taiwanese variety show and Sun Ho. Not everyone has it to market themselves. Often, leave one with the gross nausea feeling instead.
Those before after photos are also misleading. Should take photos of her both in similar conditions. You compare with and without makeup, already significant difference. All the eyeliner, extended eyelashes are not part of the surgery.
Those before after photos are also misleading. Should take photos of her both in similar conditions. You compare with and without makeup, already significant difference. All the eyeliner, extended eyelashes are not part of the surgery.
sgbabydoll
Active Member
"What matters is the person is living their lives to the fullest and not using surgical enhancements as a fix to their self esteem and personal issues."
If surgical enhancements can improve your self esteem and resolve your personal issues, why not?
If surgical enhancements can improve your self esteem and resolve your personal issues, why not?
miloice
Well-Known Member
Doll, I don't quite agree. We cannot really fix our esteem issues by undergoing the knife. One would need to come to the realization and acceptance of who they really are. These enhancement might give one the advantages in some situations, but our self-esteem cannot be based on something this superficial.
When I lost weight and became slim. It didn't fix my issues at all. I still didn't muster the courage to befriend that gal I stalked. The issues are within me and not external. That is what we need to fix... internally.
When I lost weight and became slim. It didn't fix my issues at all. I still didn't muster the courage to befriend that gal I stalked. The issues are within me and not external. That is what we need to fix... internally.
miloice
Well-Known Member
sm,
"To me beauty is only skin deep. What is more important to me is not the appearance of beauty. Hence I won't place much value to something that was enhanced physically."
In this aspect, our views are very similar actually. All I'm saying, let's not discredit a person just over the physical enhancements.
And guy's instinctive attraction to stare at babes is really skin deep. There is nothing to denial about that either.
"To me beauty is only skin deep. What is more important to me is not the appearance of beauty. Hence I won't place much value to something that was enhanced physically."
In this aspect, our views are very similar actually. All I'm saying, let's not discredit a person just over the physical enhancements.
And guy's instinctive attraction to stare at babes is really skin deep. There is nothing to denial about that either.
sgbabydoll
Active Member
"Doll, I don't quite agree. We cannot really fix our esteem issues by undergoing the knife."
Milo, I said "IF". Can or not, not up to us to say mah.
Milo, I said "IF". Can or not, not up to us to say mah.
Hi all, wow i can't imagine how this post can lengthen so much in just a few days.. anyway thanks for all your opinion, obviously there are both takes as to how close a husband should be to his female friends/colleagues.
For the past few days, I've dropped this issue with my husband (really dont want to put across to him as being naggy and terribly insecure, although i may be!) But i did casually ask him how his female colleague is now and i think they are just purely colleagues and i hope they would keep it that way. He's also pretty open to me about everything so it makes me feel more assured as well. =)
For the past few days, I've dropped this issue with my husband (really dont want to put across to him as being naggy and terribly insecure, although i may be!) But i did casually ask him how his female colleague is now and i think they are just purely colleagues and i hope they would keep it that way. He's also pretty open to me about everything so it makes me feel more assured as well. =)
sharepoint
Member
‘Of the Koreans gals I known. None has breasts implants one has a eye job’
Sm, just curious, how you know?
For me, appearance is quite important though not saying inner beauty is not..I would go under the knife if it can enhance my look though not those major one which has risk…may be is a gal thing la…
Sm, just curious, how you know?
For me, appearance is quite important though not saying inner beauty is not..I would go under the knife if it can enhance my look though not those major one which has risk…may be is a gal thing la…
Isn't it just as shallow and superficial to discount someone simply because they have undergone the knife? Look at the person for who she/he is. Not just for the presence of the silicon underneath the skin
You can call me superficial or shallow and I don't really care. It is more the "values" of my own personal conviction. I don't think I can share my lives with someone whose values are too much different from mine. In this instance, the priority of looks (surgically enhanced) versus what we are.
Who is the "real" person that has gone under the knife? It is already not the same person. I will accept what the person is/ was born with.. even with handicaps.. but not someone who cosmetically enhanced her looks. It is a personal conviction and preference. I cannot and has no right to condemn. It is just a turn-off to me. It is one value that I don't think I can align and accept and compromise.
If you think I am discrediting them.. then no. It is their perogative. But don't expect me to embrace them. I do have female friends that went under the knife.. I still treat them like a normal friend - no, I don't look down on them or condemn them. But I won't be admiring them.. We don't share the same values and we all understand this.
miloice
Well-Known Member
sm,
I look at the person for who they are today, and not their past on how they become what they are today. If I appreciate who they are today, does it matter that they have undergone some enhancements? Values are personal in the very 1st place. There is nothing to embrance or condemn. I'm not asking you to embrance anything at all. Would you say you do not share the same value as me simply because I had been a stalker with poor self esteem? People change all the time. The idea of being so against something a person did in the past is contradicting with the very values you are trying to emphasize. Our appearances can be an effective tool in situations. A person knowing how to make the fullest use of that advantage shouldn't be discounted because of that.
We all know that our values and priorities shouldn't be all about the physical and temporary things in life.
If you would to reread, it was you that seems to believe that somehow our values differs in this aspect when in reality, its pretty similar.
I look at the person for who they are today, and not their past on how they become what they are today. If I appreciate who they are today, does it matter that they have undergone some enhancements? Values are personal in the very 1st place. There is nothing to embrance or condemn. I'm not asking you to embrance anything at all. Would you say you do not share the same value as me simply because I had been a stalker with poor self esteem? People change all the time. The idea of being so against something a person did in the past is contradicting with the very values you are trying to emphasize. Our appearances can be an effective tool in situations. A person knowing how to make the fullest use of that advantage shouldn't be discounted because of that.
We all know that our values and priorities shouldn't be all about the physical and temporary things in life.
If you would to reread, it was you that seems to believe that somehow our values differs in this aspect when in reality, its pretty similar.
miloice
Well-Known Member
glamour, as u can see now... its about addressing the real issues. Often, people fight to insist in their fixed ideas of what the solution should be without realizing the real issues at hand.
You were frank with your issues... Your discomfort and insecurity. His solution is addressing just that... Not quite the solution you had initially. But now, it can be seen to help both of you cope better. Isn't it?
You were frank with your issues... Your discomfort and insecurity. His solution is addressing just that... Not quite the solution you had initially. But now, it can be seen to help both of you cope better. Isn't it?
miloice
Well-Known Member
May, although the question is intended for sm. But, allow me to voice out too. For me, it would be a definite no for most generic situations. Not just for surgery but in general. Its not a necessity at all and if they want it bad enough, they should work hard to earn enough to afford it. Unless its a physical defect or something that is recommended by the doctors to fix asap.
And on the personal character development pov, it is a probable indication of some issues with the child. Not just the self esteem part. The entire idea of asking money for parents to sponsor their selfish personal wants. From a health pov, the body has not yet fully mature and develop either. Need to understand exactly why it is needed. Mostly for teens that age, its vanity than anything else.
And on the personal character development pov, it is a probable indication of some issues with the child. Not just the self esteem part. The entire idea of asking money for parents to sponsor their selfish personal wants. From a health pov, the body has not yet fully mature and develop either. Need to understand exactly why it is needed. Mostly for teens that age, its vanity than anything else.
aiyo, Milo, SM's daughter is already over 18 yo, almost an adult.
when i was about 18 or 19 i already had friends who went for double eyelid surgery. so medically i guess is alright.
and a loan leh, i didn;t say 'sponsor' .... for a student not yet out of school, i assume no substantial personal savings ...
but fundamentally i agree that in general parents shouldn't sponsor kids ... i for one will finance my future kids' tertiary education as a loan. they must return me the money. it is a matter of principle.
when i was about 18 or 19 i already had friends who went for double eyelid surgery. so medically i guess is alright.
and a loan leh, i didn;t say 'sponsor' .... for a student not yet out of school, i assume no substantial personal savings ...
but fundamentally i agree that in general parents shouldn't sponsor kids ... i for one will finance my future kids' tertiary education as a loan. they must return me the money. it is a matter of principle.
When we were 18, my friend took on many part-time jobs just to save up 4k for a double eyelid surgery.
Mind you, she already had double eyelids. She just wanted to increase the crease from 3mm to 7mm. Her eyes were swollen for a whole month just for the new crease to heal, and frankly she looks no different. I couldn't tell the difference between 3mm and 7mm! Also don't know why she went through all that pain, I thought she was gorgeous the way she was and required no extension.
Mind you, she already had double eyelids. She just wanted to increase the crease from 3mm to 7mm. Her eyes were swollen for a whole month just for the new crease to heal, and frankly she looks no different. I couldn't tell the difference between 3mm and 7mm! Also don't know why she went through all that pain, I thought she was gorgeous the way she was and required no extension.
miloice
Well-Known Member
May, loan for such reasons shouldn't even be encouraged. If you have kids asking for a loan to buy a sports car, how would you react to that.
Need to really question and understand the rationale. Unless they are serious about being a racer and have shown great potential. Mostly, such requests are for really short sighted reasons. Its beyond the money part. At 18, I was saving up for really stupid things that I don't value for now. I was starving myself thinking I would somehow be good enough to woo that gal I stalked.
Need to really question and understand the rationale. Unless they are serious about being a racer and have shown great potential. Mostly, such requests are for really short sighted reasons. Its beyond the money part. At 18, I was saving up for really stupid things that I don't value for now. I was starving myself thinking I would somehow be good enough to woo that gal I stalked.
my answer would be NO too. young pple need to accept themselves for who they are, i think the ability to accept themselves is a journey in itself. if later in their 20's they figure they wanna change some things... then they can jolly well save on their own... but to put my money down for them is crazy....
milo,
To answer you.
We are what we are because of what we have been.
Precisely, we look at the person today. But how they arrived here today is important. If it is through means that I am not in sync, I would not endorse it.
Of course it does not mean that if we do something wrong, we will be condemned forever. As long as there is a willingness to change, accepting someone for who they are is possible.
But I don't think this is relevant here.
To answer you.
We are what we are because of what we have been.
Precisely, we look at the person today. But how they arrived here today is important. If it is through means that I am not in sync, I would not endorse it.
Of course it does not mean that if we do something wrong, we will be condemned forever. As long as there is a willingness to change, accepting someone for who they are is possible.
But I don't think this is relevant here.