Woes with my hb family

jn1234

New Member
If you talk nicely, you earn respect. People will stop to listen to you. TS will appreciate your advice. But how would you expect TS to listen when you are full of profanity and sarcasm and stir up so much of her emotion, driving her to feel even more stressed.

Anyway, this is my opinion and why I am so 执著于用è¯ã€‚Up to you if you don't agree.
 


qqyou

New Member
é–ƒé é»ž 你嘴巴臭(junkie) .... 這裡的人 快被你 臭死了 挖哈哈
 

infojunkie

Active Member
wendy, 贴字贴得很辛苦å§ï¼Ÿ

滚啦,你这鸟人ï¼
 

qqyou

New Member
@"@ wow ... 你很差æ = = 人家用寫的 你用貼的? 87 一個 ^.^
 

qqyou

New Member
^.^ 說è¦æ»¾çš„人是你啊 安抓 還在看人家寫什麼? 沒事åš? 很閒? 還是? 沒人愛ç†ä½  @@? 懷疑喔 .... 你說話 那麼 &^$%#[email protected]#$%% 應該沒什麼朋å‹å§... 如果你是男生 我覺得阿 å«çµ¦ä½ çš„女生 眼ç›æœ‰é³¥å±Ž @@
 

infojunkie

Active Member
哇,一个人扮演好多角色哦。。。
这里有人患了人格分裂症。。。

早闪为妙~!
 

qqyou

New Member
屎 + 屎 = 屎.屎 (junkie) <<<<< è‚šå­é¤“厚 我已經寫很多段了 你還沒回喔 寫字很慢喔 @@? ... 快點啦 è¦æ¯”最快 寫字還這麼慢 .... å«ä½ è®€æ›¸å¯«å­—ä½ ä¸è¦ 好的ä¸å­¸ 學人家 38 ...
 

ahyip

New Member
Carol, I'm here because I've my own problems and I know my friends can't really help me, or I know them too well to know their respond. I know who to go to if I just want a listening ear, or who to go to if I just want comfort. I'm here because I want to know what a 3rd party/total stranger will think and do and I'm grateful to those who read and bother to reply, be it positive or negative, because that's the whole point I'm here. To widen my views and understand my situation better, and the real consequences behind all my actions as we normally we look at things 1 way only.

That's my expectation from a forum, I dunno what's yours and I tried not to take sides. I know what I've read so far, and know who have provide information that really worth to take note.

You can leave this forum, but you can't leave your problem. I hope you'll be able to find your solution elsewhere with the method that you can accept.
 

qqyou

New Member
é–ƒé é»žå•Š ... 你有病 記得看醫生 .... 別åƒå€‹ç˜‹å­ä¸€æ¨£ 到處跑 ^^ 88 慢走 ä¸é€ æ»¾è² !!!!!!
 

qqyou

New Member
怎樣都比你好一點 那是我很慶幸的 挖哈哈 別在看了 å°å¿ƒçœ¼ç æŽ‰å‡ºä¾† ^.^
 

hugochavon

New Member
Yiping,
I don't know whether you belive or not, i feel like you when i join this forum and posted my problem here.

Out of sincerity, I did thank to all who had spent their time and effort to give me advices be it good or bad. But things are out of control, they start to humiliate me which I really can't stay silent.

Anyway, it is our problem, we need to face it end of the day ultimately.
 
carol, I have been following SMH forum, as well as as this sporebrides forum.
Basically, if you are looking for hugs, sayang and morale support, you should just post on SMH forum. Because 90% of the people who post there are women.. But the downside is, it is unlikely that you will get alternative viewpoints, or constructive solutions. Mummies there will most likely say nice things, and condemn the MIL

Whereas in this forum, there is quite diversed views, and people are not afraid to say what's really on their minds. True, sometimes the tone may sound offensive, but once you calm down and re-read from a 3rd party point of view, you should be able to tell who's trying to help, and who is the shit stirrer.
 

infojunkie

Active Member
安啦二æµå­ï¼Œæˆ‘ä¸æ‰“算还击
happy.gif


你什么æ¥è·¯ä»€ä¹ˆæ„图,显而易è§ä¸æ˜¯ï¼Ÿ

è¦æ”¾å±ï¼Œè¯·è‡ªä¾¿å“¦
happy.gif
 

hugochavon

New Member
Momo,
Maybe because I am from SMH, which is the cause of why I find it difficult to adapt.

I do appreciate as i had learnt a lesson. I do not expect myself to degrade here.
 

qqyou

New Member
wow 放å±ä¹Ÿä¸æ“”心給你è½åˆ° å› ç‚ºä½ çš„å± åƒæ‰“雷一樣 新加å¡å¿«åœ°éœ‡äº† ... 我會拉 ... 你也安啦 ...
 

qqyou

New Member
powDer 人家愛åšä»€éº¼ 是人家的事 你沒本事管你家裡人 也ä¸è¦å‡ºä¾†å¤–é¢ ... 丟人 ..OK?
 

powder

Active Member
"I do not expect myself to degrade here."

- so this is ok? this is a low blow isn't it? do i need to mention the problems of GBs and stuff in the other forum? NO - becos this isn't abt which forum is better... my goodness, the things u guys bring up just to cover your own deficiencies...

i find it tremendously amusing that some of u keep calling the kettle black, but fail to see yourself. Really.

just look at jenny... when was the last time i used 'fcuk' on anyone here? she's still going on abt it... same point from other threads over and over and over...

forum wrong, forummer wrong, this wrong, that wrong... but u're simply perfect.
 
Carol, I have been a silent reader here for almost 3 yrs? I have learned many good advices from the forummers here, esp powder and SM. But to be frank, I have not mastered up the courage to start my own thread (oh well...)

If you really feel offended, I guess the best way is to go back to SMH forum. I guess the forumers have advised whatever they want, it is either to accept it to ignore it. No need to make yourself unhappy over the posts.
 

hugochavon

New Member
Thanks Momo, I will return to SMH
happy.gif


Glad you found here helpful.

I am already badly hurt here, and after replying you, Mr Powder hit me again. I really don't know why all my statement are quoted and all are bad meaning. Anyway, it is ok, perhaps this is not a place for me.
 

qqyou

New Member
下ç­äº† .... 晚點在上來找你們這兩個 沒凸的人說話厚 ...junkie åƒä½ é€™ç¨®äºº 以為自己很了ä¸èµ· 我看阿 你自己 æ²’ä»€éº¼è‡ªä¿¡å§ è¦æœ‰è‡ªä¿¡é»ž 乖乖回家 æ‹¿é¡å­ 說 我很有 凸的 ^^ 10 次就夠羅 ... ä¸ç„¶å«ä½ å®¶çš„ powder 幫你看一下 是真有 還是沒有 也OK ...你們說話 喜歡沒教養 ... 所以å°ä½ å€‘也ä¸éœ€è¦ 講好è½çš„話 ... 沒事就åƒå€‹ "姑娘" 一樣在那裡說有的沒的 這麼本事 去跟你è€æ¯è¬› å«ä»–該怎麼教好 你這個 é¾œå…’å­ ^^ 88
 

qqyou

New Member
powder u like to fcuk is ur problem 最好有本事 回家淦你è€æ¯ ä¸è¦åœ¨å¤–é¢ äº‚fcuk 人家 ... 你沒權 ... 你也åªæ˜¯ä¸€å€‹ 87 沒教養的人
 

qqyou

New Member
ä¸è¦ä»¥ç‚ºè‡ªå·±å¾ˆå¯ä»¥ ... 真的什麼都好åˆæœ‰æœ¬äº‹çš„人 ä¸æœƒåƒä½ é€™éº¼é–’著沒事åšåœ¨é€™è£¡ 講有的沒的
 

magaz

Member
Carol,
think one needs to keep an open mind when in a forum. Need to keep in mind that not everyone is the same as us in terms of character, language use, life experience. That's why we came to the forum to seek advice in the first place right?
happy.gif

if advice is always delivered to us in the same form, same format, then we are just listening to what we want to and love to listen, defeats the purpose of coming to a forum. Right?
You were not being 'hit' la.. but when u use 'degrade', it kind of does not say very nice things about the rest of us who are here, right? Seems as though we are rotting and degrading ourselves here, those who chose to remain here.
 

susanna_low

New Member
Carol, sorry if u think that sharing my own experience is like adding salt in your wound.

I'm a fellow mummy from SMH as well. I think u really misunderstand the guys.

My own MIL do not help me to do confinement nor look after my gal. She's looking after my sil's gal instead and in her eyes, her 22yo son is still her baby, treating him like a baby preparing his toothbrush, clothes after bathing, walking a long distance home just to buy food for him when the kopitiam is just a street across.
I did not complain a single thing not because I m a saint and want everybody to like me. I have my down days too
It's all for my hb and I do not want to put him in difficulties. Family are for life, my dear.
Men do not like ppl to talk bad about his family and by doing this constantly will strain your marriage and your r/s with them too, my dear.

The guys are just trying to put it across that our parents are not obliged to look after our children as their responsibility ended with us. If they do look after and love our kids, it's a bonus. No expectation = no disappointment. Nobody is digging and making fun of you.

Move on and put the past behind you. What's over is over, right?

Everybody is hoping that you will put the past behind you as we cant turn back the clock.

Look forward and focus to reconcile with your MIL and build up good family ties with your in laws.
Time will heal everything, jiayou, ganbatte! Like what sm say, be sincere.

When I have my down days and felt that there's nobody to talk to, I turn to here. Sometimes, I do hope that the guys will "scold" me too and they most probably did..asking me to move on, stupid to think too much etc and I did move on and felt really happier. ^^
 

qqyou

New Member
mx ä¸è¦èªªå¾—這麼好è½æ‹‰ ... æ¯å€‹äººéƒ½æœ‰è‡ªå·±çš„想法 說法 說的æ±è¥¿ä¸ä¸€å®šæ˜¯è¦èªªåˆ°å…¨éƒ¨çš„人 ... 你如果這麼覺得 那是你心裡有å•é¡Œ ...
 

powder

Active Member
jenny,

waiting for u to scold the person who just registered and is using profanity not to emphasize, but rather - to scold and be personal (tho i dun even know her, so obviously the agenda already there liao)...

u wanna take over? this one is right down your alley...
 

magaz

Member
wendy
wonder why u are so free to keep hitting refresh and posting. I think TS is not even as enthusiastic as you.
 

qqyou

New Member
thanks alot huh ... ^^ cos i am so free like u guys going around talk like shit ^^ n powder stop asking ppl to do this n tat ... cos like this u just look like a idiot .. ^^ forget to let u guys know i just change my name cos i so love junkie hahaha
 

hugochavon

New Member
ting yi, you got me wrong, sharing your experience is nothing To do with adding salt To my wound. I had explained many times, i posted here with an open minds if you read thru my earlier posts. This is not my first day writing in forums but this one is my first post here. I expected negatives comments and remarks as i knew the entire issue with my mil started from me. But i cannot take it is because i felt that all started To humiliate and made it as though i wish this happened and i deserved this. I admitted and never do i deny i hurt her, but i do not expect all nasty words and made myself feel so worthless and useless as a dil and mother. Anyway no point saying all these, i will get nothing but again being quoted of my own statements and start To make myself depressed over all these.
 

denise80

Active Member
The use of profanities here is perceived as rude to some while ok to others. Yes, one has the freedom of speech in a forum but do note this is a public forum where all opinions count, not just theperson who used it. U may like to be nude for instance in public or even at hm but if sighted by others who found it offensive, shouldn't the person give itmore thought. Next thing is, I'm sure we can sound harsh and 'wake' a person up by using the right words and not abusive ones. If this vulgarity is a strategy, y are parents complaining teachers of using vulgarities in sch whether at the spur of moment or to drive a supposedly gd message across?

If it's a gd advice, then package it such that others can accept. Right now it's v clear that it's been perceived as poor advice due to it's packaging. We shouldnt be stubborn that this is the way I speak and it's to whack and wake u up in the spirit of truly wanna help whn it has obviously failed. Can we then have more astute judgment in the future and think carefully before we speak here? We want to convince, not offend. I find milo's language more acceptable in this case. He can be harsh without the frequent use of profanities.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
denise,

this is the point I've been trying to put across. From the very beginning, I could already sense Carol have very strong sense of her own reasons and justifications. Which is why I asked if its only a rant.

I only went into more specifics after I saw she was willing to talk more about it.

We can always expect a variety of responses in any forum. When basic logic doesn't even exists, its pointless to discuss further. Its regrettable that things have come to such.

Those that cannot tahan feedback, they will cross swords with many in their lives. If they have to realize it through more conflicts and damages in their lives, it just has to be as such since they are this stubborn. how much is our pride worth? as compared to your happiness?
 

qqyou

New Member
我去那裡那是我的事 你管這麼多åšéº¼å‘¢ ... 管ä¸åˆ°è‡ªå·±è€å©†é‚„是孩å­ã„‡? 心ç†æœ‰ç—… 就去看醫生羅 å°é˜¿ æ¯å€‹äººéƒ½æœ‰èªªè©±çš„權利 å¯æ˜¯ä¸ä»£è¡¨ä½ æœ‰æ¬Šåˆ©ç½µäºº? ... 啊這麼能罵怎麼ä¸åŽ»ç½µä½ è€æ¯å‘¢ ? 你能說 你能講 你就是沒資格 罵人 ä½ å°äººèªªè©±å®¢æ°£è‡ªç„¶å°±æœ‰äººæœƒå°ä½ å®¢æ°£ ä½ ä¸å°Šé‡åˆ¥äºº å°±ä¸è¦æŒ‡æœ›äººå®¶æœƒå°Šé‡ä½  yes pls join this club (87 + 78 junkie n stupid + idiot powder club) happy ... ^^ æ¯å€‹äººéƒ½èƒ½æœ‰è‡ªå·±çš„é“ç† å¯æ˜¯åƒä½ å€‘這樣沒教養的 也太å¯æ€•äº†å§ åšçš„事講的話 沒一點åƒç”·äºº 感覺上你就是 討厭女人 @@? 還是你本來就是一個 gay lao @@"
 

qqyou

New Member
就算是人家 stubborn 那也是人家的家事? 你們沒必è¦ç½µäººå§? 你以為你是誰? 一定è¦è½ä½ å€‘說的? 別å°è‡ªå·±çš„判斷能力感到自豪 ... 因為 ä½ åªæ˜¯åœ¨é€¼äººå®¶ 接å—你的說法 è´Šæˆ ä½ çš„æƒ³æ³• 這裡是個言論自由的地方 但ä¸ä»£è¡¨ä½ å€‘就能ä¸å°Šé‡åˆ¥äºº ....
 

qqyou

New Member
@"@ 沒人會看è¯èªžå–” ??beh sai write in english can boh ^^? ... ä¸æ˜¯è¦æ‰¾æž¶åµ åªæ˜¯å—ä¸äº†ä½ å€‘這樣ä¸å°Šé‡äºº ....
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
yes watching, what do you not understand about what I just wrote? Its about approaching Carol in a manner that would be more likely to be acceptable. I offered her empathy to her situation before going straight to the many fundamental issues.

to add on for packaging. There isn't a one for all... sometimes, people just don't appreciate nor see it at all, till a point they have to be eventually told straight in the face. Then, all hell break loose. It takes 2 to tango, as much tact one puts in to package, some basic logic is needed. When wild allegations are repeatedly thrown, one would really question the sanity of the individual.

The last 2 paragraphs, are about the regrettable state of this thread now. Creating new nicks to shoot illogical nonsense. Carol resorting to just concluding its hopeless situation and others just didn't understand. If you think abt it, most of us have these issues, but to a different extend with the unique limitations. Its naive to come with such conclusion.

I can see this thread has now become more like a taiwanese drama. Enjoy yourselves for those drama lovers.
 

denise80

Active Member
yea, I also agree that anyone who posts a question here and who seeks help here must keep an open mind to different types of advice that is sincere...it's natural for one to have a preferred 'solution' before even reading the opinions of others but the TS should always try to see fr different perspectives. We can be harsh, we can hum tum in our genuine effort to help but to only a certain extent out of respect to anyone here.
 


miloice

Well-Known Member
oh denise, to add, the expectations for other forumers to take sides is really unreal. That's really childish and pointless, everyone voice out as individuals. For sure, there will be agreements/disagreement on some points and there is also indifference i.e. things we do not have a strong opinion on.
 

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