Will you attend your friend's wedding dinner 2 months apart from yours?

[wendycp]

My friend said she can't attend my wedding dinner if is within 3 months apart because of some superstitious old folk saying it will 'chong xi'.

To me, Im ok with it. Because is a happy and blessing event, don't have to avoid this and that.

What do you think?

 

[cactus_79]

hi Wendycp, I don't believe in superstitions but I respect my relatives and ILs alot. So if they tell me it will chong xi, I won't attend. It's happened to me before. My husband will also not be attending his friends' wedding cos my grandma is superstitious. My husband's parents are okay with it but say cousins cannot marry within the same year.. my parents don't believe in this but now we avoid both loh.

 

[midas]

if ur fren doesn't mind n ur parents doesn't mind then by all means go ahead...but hor, most times is the old folks got the final say coz not gd to offend them during a happy event...ur fren might even mind too who knows..coz its her own happiness at stake also.

 

[wendycp]

hmm true oso, both our side parent said is better not to... and my friend's hubby side mind too. Haiz no logic but what to do old folk superstitious.

If all of them don't mind, we will just go ahead.

 

[gilbert]

my parents r superstitious. I and my wife's friend had the wedding on the same month. she n her family is not pangtang, so she wants to attend her friend's, but when my parents know it, they forbid her to attend. even now after few years, she still think that she shd attend her friend's wedding, and shd invite her friend over to our wedding...since it is once in a lifetime thing n since they r good friends, they shd share the joy together.

 

[musjan]

Hi,

Is it 3 months or 4 months? My AD is in Jan 08 and my colleague who ROM in Oct 07 told me she cannot attend my dinner coz it is less than 4 months apart.

I have alwayds thot its 3 months. Now I am confused.

 

[xixi0310]

hi Janet

i heard its 3 mths apart..bt i gt one coll got married in oct..my rom in jan 08..i still attend her wedding..hehe

 

[qingzi]

My parents told me 4 mths leh...but like midas said depends on how pantang you are lor. My friend happily attended 2 other weddings within 2 mths of her own marriage. But yah, the golden rule is always to check with the parents and see what they are fussy about.

 

[nelle]

The geomancer I went to say there is no proof/belief that brides/grooms to be cannot attend weddings which are too close in dates from their own.

He says that this is just a myth from long long time ago in China. There is an old man with 2 sons. The eldest son is getting married so the old man (in olden days all wedding costs are bore by man's father) throw a lavish dinner inviting whole village to attend. The younger son's girlfriend saw all these and thought that they should also be entitled to such a grand wedding too. So the 2nd son ask the father and request for all that. Of course, by now, the father has no money left. Therefore he set this 'rule' of no weddinhgs within x no. of months.

So as time goes by, people add their own bits and pieces to their 'rules'.

There is also another side to these. Some people believe that it is good luck to be invited, leading to Shuang1 Xi3 Ling2 Men2. Meaning double happiness arriving at the door.

 

[esther_c]

my wedding in dec...got a gf's wedding in oct....
scully her elders say we can't go to each other's wedding so ok lor...out of respect for her family....we won't attend and won't be inviting her and hubby...

mutual understanding

shang xi ling men...didn't know about it...

 

[cheekybee]

actually this depends on individual lor...but better check beforehand if the other party is pantang...

my hubby attended his friend's wedding held 1.5 months before our own wedding...we were ok with it since his friend dun mind and invited him first...

(welcome to my blog at http://myfortunekitty.com)

 

[vernwyen]

my good buddy's AD is in June, mine in Sep. She is not coming to mine coz she believes the 3-month thingy. Its really a pity coz our weddings are only 10 days before hitting the full 3 months. As a respect, I will not be attending hers too

 

[supergal]

My sis's AD and my bro's ROM is less than 5 days apart and my parents don't allow each other to attend the other party's event...

usually, pple says it is the couple who have their event later will be more affected..

but aiya, not sure how true this is lor..and also depends on individual's degree of pantang-ness..

 

[blurgal88]

Oo.. My best friend and my wedding dates' are just 1 week apart,

But we have already decided to go for each other wedding cause we're really very close and want to be there to give each other our blessing

So I guess its up to how you want to see it. hee

 

[tianxin]

i heard abt it too.. my cousin n mine juz nice 3 mths n 9 days apart...should b ok right?

 

[cho]

oh no.. my fren n mine's is juz 1 mth apart.. we're both attending each other's wedding.. only my mum minds.. i dun intend to tell her..

wat's more.. my hb is 1 of the xiong di.. and my fren is going to be my jiemei for my wedding too.. ah.. i try nt to tink abt it..

 

[ivy289]

hi all! for those who have attended ur friend's wedding less than 3 months apart, do u encounter any weird stuff?? actually we are not really pang dang but just want to play safe. mine and my 2 other friends' AD are actually just 1 week apart.

 

[stardust2606]

Hi all!
Sooryy but i know this might be bit irrelevant but since we are under the topic of superstition.

Just wondering if any of you guys came across a superstition that 2 daughters in the family cannot get married in the same year?
If so, does this applies for customary or ROM?

Anyone can advice?

 

[rubypumps]

i'm amused how people can still be so superstitous in modern days now.

i'd still attend the wedding if my friend invites me.

 

[lovingyou]

stardust: it depends.. some take it as double blessings but some take it as crashes. It is better to check with a fortune teller if the timing and dates might suit both brides and grooms.

 

[kiat]

actually the version i heard is 4 mths before and 4 mths after...

 

[simon1982]

Even though it an old thread....but well my turn to wedding, frens telling me the same things..

my geomancer master long tian xiang actually told me the x months before and x months after is just rumour..he told me his own examples are fine.

well for me, i will definately try to go especially if it my best frens wedding..

as not to offend the elderly, normally i will just keep quiet and go myself.

It is realli very upset to know that your best frens can't make it to your wedding becos both wedding clashes...

 

[candycandy001]

My mother told me 4 mths.. But i think friend nvm one la, only go there to eat... Siblings/close relatives then better 4mths apart.

 

[bibao]

My mum also told me 4 months. sigh.... means cant attend my best fren wedding....

 

[eeyorex]

my mum told me 4 mths.. but I dun really care... I just attended my fren's church wedding 1 wk after my own wedding....

sometimes, its the elders who are superstitious and yet they cant explain y we cannot attend... what I do is just to go quietly.. I mean I am already an adult.. I know what should be done and what should not...

 

[jane22]

if the other party is not superstitious, i will attend but i wont tell the elderly or older folks.

similarly for my wedding, i tell my friends im more than happy if they will grace my wedding. but if they don't feel comfortable, i will understand.

my personal theory: this 'chong xi' thing is something that older folks came up last time to avoid attending wedding so that they don't have to give packet.