Who got SHOUTED at work?

dimpxtt

New Member
I got shouted....by immediate sup..

B4...everything is been cleared..n find out wats e reason why...
20 over colleagues can hear from his room.

turns out that the late payment is a wrong date.
the date already been paid.
actual record pased down by my ancestor shows no need for payment, thus i didnt process...so i genna lah

CCB..KNN....SHOUTED for no reason..i at his room..must he shout meh!and add some personal insult eg he can write a letter to sack me immediately..ask me to pay bk 1 month notice pay...all rubbish

anyway my frend teaches me 2 positive points:-
1) patient..not to shout back r drop tears
2) thick skinned..able to face so many colleagues after e shouting..

but heart still buay song..all becoz of only $50...
 


kittenpie

New Member
if really buay song, just reason with him about the facts.

but i dont think he cares cause if he cared he would have checked the facts with you before shouting at you. he could just be a bad-tempered person looking for outlets to vent his frustrations about life.

or he views you as an underling who is meant to be shouted at i.e. you have not created an impression in him that you are someone who deserves 'nice' treatment.

have you ever noticed how some bosses seem to treat certain staff better, but not others? it has got to do with the impression he has already formed of you through daily interactions, through what he has observed of you. he may have decided he likes you or not, and as the boss, he is right.

so if he doesn't care, why should you care about the incident?

anyway, come out to work need to have professional mindset. get shouted by boss in front of colleagues, so what? you think your colleagues care? nobody cares also. all of us just care about the paycheck in our bank account at the end of the mth. the world doesnt revolve around the trials and tribulations of any single person.
 

dimpxtt

New Member
ya loh..
nobody cares..shouted that time..all diam diam..
this is the life of employee..

coz i m on serving notice mah...tender liao..
he can shout watever he wants..i just tik hes singing..

ya..a bad tempered person..
think e old wife never give lah..
 
oh u tender liao? then why scare him?

reprimant him back if you are not wrong.

for me when i tender my job last time. my ex-boss, a tai ji lazy bun. say i got to clear all the task before i go. i say to him "BEG ME?"

can't do anything. if he never say u go MOM. see who power.
 

bedokboy

New Member
i just sorta did.

Scolded my guys for thinking about themselves all the time.

Sometimes as a manager when you do staffing and scheduling, you can put your hand on your heart and say that you have tried to think on their behalf as far as possible to make life as easy as possible for them.

But the fact that they don't know how to empathise they will think that this part of the schedule is unfair to them, that part is not fair, etc. They don't understand that they are not in a solitary job where their actions have no consequences.
 

kittenpie

New Member
Jefferson,

Why get embroiled in such PETTY tussle over work?

will you die or get your lifespan shortened by just finishing the maximum workload within your contractual responsibility? have you heard of such thing as professional honour?

to tell you the truth, many years ago, when i was a small girl, i engaged in such pathetic behavior too. i regreted it because it is small-minded, unprofessional and people have a bad impression of me as a result!
 

dimpxtt

New Member
Jefferson Yong (jefferson_edison) --you hiong eh..
i dun want to burn bridges lah..
but i KNOW that i have DONE MY PART..so he shout..let him think he is bird singing....but horribly..

i feel like saying to him..dun shout so loud..will hurt e throat..

bedokboy-you raise voice ok frm your work prospect..my case is he didnt find out e real reason y..then shout liao..

at tat moment i feel like POINTING MIDDLE FINGER AT HIM......but i control..

maintain image....
 

kittenpie

New Member
dim,

dun shout so loud..will hurt e throat..
=============================================

you could have said it, in a light-hearted and coquettish tone. if you cloak it in humour, and it is not disrespectful at that moment, you could have said it.

but dont consume your mental CPU by dwelling on such useless thoughts now. do you have anything to gain in a war of words? most likely you stand to lose. so cap it.
 
yeah yeah all the professional honor are bullshit. your boss never did a good job, push blame to you and then try to get credit from your work. that's crap. i am happy i left him. now i'm in a new place working. he got sacked after 1 month. served him right.
 

dimpxtt

New Member
may:
ya i will say in a humor tone if i want to..but tat time i just swallow humble pie..let him bark..

this incident teach me a working world lesson....
 

denise80

Active Member
For the minority (hopefully that's the case) who thinks the Civil Servants had it better...let me share that I've been shouted at before despite being one of the better performers. It really depends on the kind of leadership style your leaders possess.

First of all, if your boss is like that to everyone and not just you, don't take it personally. It is not about swallowing your pride but rather, don't let it hurt your pride. If you are not at fault, reason with him/her. If you are, then apologise and I am sure you will remember the mistake. And yes, in short, it can be a really humbling experience. Teaches us important lessons in life too...that if you're ever a boss one day, please be a different boss.
happy.gif
 

flyingstar

New Member
this reminds me. last time at work, kena shouted by client every week...everything we do does not please him.

u will grow thicker skin after all these... haha.
 

dimpxtt

New Member
grow thicker skin and laugh it off at e end of the day at most..

old colleagues say must understand e old boss..he has different stress...cant communicate wif us his stress too..coz we are his subordinates

ye..if one day i am the boss, i will definately be different..will not shout.....will reason..coz i have gone thr e humble piesssss....
 

dimpxtt

New Member
bedokboy...go outside to those staff you have shouted at...talk to them and laugh at them lah..
says its all abt work..dun take it too hard..
no personal attack

last time my ex company..e lady bitch..
says e old staff..OLD AND SLOW....n refuse to renew her contract..haiz..
tats call personal attack..
 

bedokboy

New Member
denise, to be fair, I never explain properly expect them to understand. But I was halfway explaining then all of them started to say unfair this unfair that.

Naturally I felt offended that they made me think any monkey could have come up with the schedule if it was done so thoughtlessly that instantly it comes out unfair.

To be fair to me the guys in the group took a shorter time to understand than the ladies. That's another example why I still think women at work complicate the office a lot.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
it depends on the severity of the problem at hand. If the boss is scolding over trivial things, then its quite pointless to work under such an incapable boss.
 

denise80

Active Member
hahaha...bedokboy, hmm...I feel it has nothing to do with gender. It's just how guys don't usually gripe by moving their lips. They probably do that after work over drinks at a pub while ladies are more verbal and showed immediate displeasure.

I asked that question because I felt as a manager, it is important to explain the rationale and assure everyone that a lot of thought has gone through the deployment (which indeed you have painstakingly done). A lot about leaders is the communication. Because your subordinates aren't leaders or 'not there yet', we cannot expect them to automatically know what we are thinking unless we tell them and convince them first. There are many books on leadership, particularly persuasive leadership that may interest you. One of my personal favourites is John Maxwell. If I were you, I'll be thankful that my subordinates showed unhappiness before me. At least channels of communication are open and allow for clarifications and negotiations.

Milo, to me, raising one's voice at subordinates is a no-no no matter how serious or trivial the matter may be. Leaders can always deliver the same 'blow', all it takes is a careful choice of words while maintaining calm and composed haaa...
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
Denise, yes, personally, its a no-no too. But, I have bosses shouting at me. It doesn't mean he is a bad superior. I understand why he is reacting even if it is not my fault.
 

dimpxtt

New Member
tats y e turn over rate very high

those leaders who raise voice has low eq....instil fear and not earn respect..
 

denise80

Active Member
Hmm...quite ironically, dimpxtt, some of these loud hailers can be very good leaders who produce results because they are very sharp and spot-on when they scream their heads off at you...as such, they instill fear and at the same time command respect...
 

dimpxtt

New Member
denise..
dun tik so.i prefer someone who talk n nego wif u..
not just screaming their head off

for wat..
for women....wait more wrinkles...need botox or facial...who pay money...she had to pay.

for men...lose more hair

no wonder he middle hair all gone..
 

denise80

Active Member
hehe my preference is anytime for someone whom I can negotiate...just sharing an experience that such a person can be respected by many too
 

tomasulu

Member
I don't like it won't stand for it and all my bosses know they won't get away with it.

Never been shouted at at work and if I did, there won't be just one person doing the shouting.
 

tomasulu

Member
I will but never had to. Or you can go with - when you're able to have a discussion without raising your voice, let me know - and walk out immediately.
 

babystorm

Member
If I'm at fault, I will most probably say something like "I apologise for my mistake but I don't think you have to shout." If I'm not at fault, I think I will blow my top. I don't like to be maligned. I don't care if you are the boss or what. If you want respect, you have to gain it. So far, my bosses treat me fine. (touch wood!)

Just to share a past experience.. I was only a few days into the job when my superior showed favouritism. She blamed me although it was so obvious that the 'old bird' was wrong. Then started picking on me for the small stuff. Naturally, I was VERY pissed. It didn't take me too long to find a job and I was glad to fire them.
 

powder

Active Member
pay u salary, teach u, talk to u louder to emphasize the gravity of the error, shout at u to emphasize the graveness of the error.

i think if i'm super nice n nego etc... i will be out of business for all the mistakes made. to u it's an honest mistake... to me, u have just wiped out the bonuses i was gonna give out.

there are some pple u shout at simply becos other methods Dun Work.
 

tomasulu

Member
U dnt have to shout to get your message across. And nobody is saying you can't be a tough boss either. 10 out of 9, people shout because they wanted to not to seize a teaching opportunity. Shouting is an emotional response you can't just decide to yell at a person because yeah this is a great chance to teach him something. And yes 10 out of 9 times the recipient of your yelling won't take kindly to getting his head chewed off and won't remember much learnings beyond - I've an ahole for a boss. Speak softly but carry a big stick. It's more effective that way.
 

powder

Active Member
tat's not very true either. there's an array of receipients and ways. softn nice doesn't always work. it just makes u the nice guy. some pple learn better. if it's drilled into their heads.
 
dimpxtt u resigned already mah, let say you resign because the boss is a bustard. so u cannot take his nonsense.

so after u resign he threaten you again. and shame u by saying bad about u which have nothing to do with the job. ok let it be, but in the long run in your life, you will face the same shit and u should learn to stand firm on your ground. if you are not wrong u just say it out it's not your fault. if it's someone fault u should say don't scold u for nothing.but if the fault is by you so no choice just face the music but let him cut short on his "SHIT SCOLDING" by saying that you have enough of the irrelavant topic which have nothing to do with your mistake. just say u had a mistake and the mistake is recognised and what's the point of scolding and threathening. learn to catch the word he say, (since you already resigned) if he say something personal attacks or irrelavant, shot him back with his words, just say how can a boss like him talk things without using the brain, learn how to fight back and pick even the simplest mistake he say, talked and just shame him. and in the end of the day, u will still be leaving the company. thru the shouting incident, i can know that the boss is a stupid retarded who will waste time to scold an employee who have already resigned and waiting for his days to leave.

yes he might say u still get the salary, but the answer back to him is " I AM DOING MY WORK. A MISTAKE I DID IS RECOGNISED. YOU DID NOT WANT TO CREATE THE MISTAKE AND IT'S NOT ON PURPOSE., then ask him back if the scolding is over or not if he got anything to add else you have to go to the toilet to pee.

With such insane boss who don't like you, you should not have done anything good for him. just idle around and waste time, try not to do anything much thus do nothing = no mistake and then still get money in the end of your month.
 

kittenpie

New Member
Jefferson,

YOu are a moron.

what if dim's boss on provocation turns the tables around and declare her fired, ignoring the resignation she has tendered? how would this go down her record?

dont you know that the company has the upper hand when it comes to treatment of staff?

if you are smart you will work around it subtly rather than confront the establishment directly. your method is like using an egg to fight against a stone.

what "balls" here "balls" there? what "shot" here "shot" there? just get scolded over work error only, need to associate with guts and machismo? what is the big deal? you dont get any reward for acting up over a small tiff. not as if you will get rich for a verbal comeback, right?
 
MAY WHY NEED TO SCARE?

FIRED? he already resigned and should have gotta a job outside.

record? what record? does it mean that with $$$ and power he can HUMILIATED PEOPLE?

he ALREADY RESIGNED and there's no reason he is still being SCREWED by mad boss because of STUPID UNJUSTIFIED MISTAKED.
 

kittenpie

New Member
Jefferson,

this is not a matter of scared or not scared.

it is a matter of whether it is worth it or not.

also, our response to humiliation can be quiet dignity.

have you heard of quiet dignity, jefferson?

anyway, if the boss turns around to fire Dim, it will mar her work records. even if she has another job waiting for her, it will forever go down in that company's record that she was fired. how would this benefit dim?

stupid unjustified mistake? Bosses DISLIKE mistakes as a rule, regardless of whether it is intentional or innocent. and they have the right to rebuke whether you like it or not. we are here only because we serve a function in our boss' department, so better to err on the side of humility than ego!
 

dimpxtt

New Member
thansk for all your input..
i think no need to shut back or rebark back..that time my mind ...was blank..coz i am just listening to a mad pple shouting n screaming

i also dun want to waste my breath talking to him..i say to him 2 points..i will go n find out from finance whether cheque has been paid and find out the mail person what is the exact date that is not been paid to cut him short..i know my stand..
he wants to keep shouting -- its his low eq..
beyond my control rite..

i dun want to burn bridges in the company coz of him lah..
luckily i never point my middle finger at him
 

vios

New Member
almost everyone, more or less, would experience at some point in their life lah - with boss, colleagues, cilents.

usually i would apply the soft (but Firm) approach with my staff, and even more so, some of them who are hot-tempered. so far it has been working out pretty fine, as most would reciporcate as well but honestly, there would be a handful who screw up further...

thus it is imperative to go beyond the usual niceties at this point but still, i do not like to shout. however i could understand why some managers/bosses resort to that, as it is quicker to get the message across to certain type of employees.

as for cilents who are cheesed off because of my staff's mistakes, and use the hairdryer treatment on me. just gotta take a pinch of salt, because normally the first five sentences are fresh from the oven.

in short - as with different roles (ie. boss and employee, business and cilent), gotta understand the purpose/intention of communication at certain times, and not its measure at face value.
 
MAy can't u see that boss of dim is trying to find chance and screw dim.

quietly suffering is moron act.

dim already resigned and should not be getting this kind of unreasonable reprimandation.
 

dimpxtt

New Member
always...barking dog wun bite..
just brush it off..

i counting my days
if he still bark..i just stare at him blankly then..
 

flyingstar

New Member
the shouting thing by bosses are old-school.

my colleagues relate stories of how their ex-boss scolds everyone in the department, even the ladies cry.

that was in the past where bosses like to show their authority by shouting at their subordinates. but it is not workable now. most people leave if they have a boss like that. we are all adults, we don't need to be shout at like kids.

unfortunately my client is a different story. haha. even if he shouts, we just listen...and ignore. lol.
 

dimpxtt

New Member
clients different mah..must 'lun' coz ur company need their money..
u are rite, flyingstar..

this is an old school method when boss shout..i m glad that i didnt cry..maybe one of my fav hobby trains me to be a tough and b tolerance gal..and the soft character in me dun find e need to rebark the barking dog back..just stand n explain my point.

every1 is educated..somemore most staff are at least a degree & abv..so wat study so high..also no eq..
adult already.can educated..but dun shout.......
only kampong pple like to shout.....
 

powder

Active Member
jefferson,

u're the one who can't find a breaktrhu at work rite? think i rem your pay is like 3k or something...

i'm gonna do u a favour and tell u that your answers are precisely the reason why the chances of your career improving will continually remain low.
 

vios

New Member
just a passing thought - males are generally used to getting shouted at, as to serving our national service. so, most of us could cope with it pretty well....
 

simpleman

Active Member
Females also can cope well. They cry when being scolded - so their way of handling it.

Males don't cry so have to swallow it.

The best is to master the art of filtering and selective hearing
 


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