Romance is about everyday lah... There is no such thing as most romantic.
My girls said I am romantic... because when they birthday, I do some funny things, when I talked to them I humor them, when we got free time I show them the stars, when I buy them roses I don't care about money, and everyday I try to care and shower them with love...
For eg... I bring a girl to a new place, she enjoyed the ride because I whipped up atmosphere.
It's the way you behave, you decide, you breath... how you think, how you talk... what you believe... That's romance.
For instance... I believe in love, and I don't care what you all think. And if you ask me whether I am more romantic than a champagne... Of course. LOL~
So... what can be most romantic than me? Which is, what can be most romantic to a girl than a romantic man?
I can't really determine the most romantic thing that I did but I can recall a recent romantic thing that I did. It was a very small surprise and I didn't know why this idea hit me haha...perhaps it's the school holidays then and I had more time to be slightly more creative..
What I did was to write my hubby a card and 'mailed' it to our own mailbox using the 'official-looking' envelope with his name and address typed out on the front of the envelope.
So here you go...romance doesn't really need to cost a lot of $. I made the card myself so it's zero costs unless we count the coloured paper and ink.
My husband, who was my boyfriend back then, lighted candles and arranged in a heart shape formation at the park beneath my block. He then telephoned me and ask me to look out of the window.
It felt so surreal, as though we are in a movie set.
As for me, I sent him a fruit bouquet on the Valentine's day on the first yr after our ROM. I signed off as "Mrs Xxx (surname)" He thought it was from his mother. LOL
Omg, can't remember much romantic stuff I did for him.
Back in Uni day when we both stay in hall.
Whenever I am free, I will replenish necessities on weekly basis, clean his room and do laundry for him.
Buy breakfast for him & roommate (his roommate is the 1 who intro me to him)
His roommate was pretty happy back then.
Now after uni life, he will come over to pack my room and cook for me.
My mother is happy that someone took over her job.
This scope guy is the most contrarian guy around. When theres a topic A, he'd go on and on lecturing all and sundry that its really B that's key. That would've been tolerable if he doesn't sound like a drunk speaking in tongues while getting a lobotomy done. Not to mention the gibberish will eventually cycle back to how great he is with his harem of pleasure providers. Like he's some gold-plated nebuchadnezzar people should naturally circumambulate.
According to you....
1. Romance is accessible to those who are romantic.
2. Those who arenÂ´t romantic can attempt to experience romance by the use of humor. This isnÂ´t genuine romance (to you) but it is to some people. Ultimately, there isnÂ´t romance for those who are not into it.
No arguments on how romance is a way of life in details.
Romance is to be less argumentative and think more feel more.
I remember watching the stars with my girl in my arms for the entire night and watch sunrise, and it costs nothing.
Just like how you describe the Botanic gardens... If you are not romantic, as I have said, you have to try something funny... and assume that is romantic.
But true romance is something else. It's a way of life... you breath romance, you talk romance, you think romantically. Else, even a candle light dinner is merely a fanciful display of food. Is that romance? LOL~
Romance can be a way of life though that doesn't describe me. It's how you think and behave towards your loved ones unknowingly. For someone like me, romance only hits me at times when an unexplainable feeling overwhelms me and makes me want to do something sweet for my hubby but admittedly, this quality is not part of me and hence it's done knowingly, albeit that feeling of wanting to be romantic is natural.
Chocolate, many people tend to associate romance with $ such as candlelight dinner, bouquet of flowers, expensive gifts, surprise partes etc. I think that's not all. I can imagine how boring it'll be for me if my hubby always does the above and nothing else. Sometimes it could be just that little peck he gives me on my cheek while we were doing the laundry together, an activity that is supposedly not that romantic. Or like the card I made him and posted it to our mailbox - it's free.
And like what Scope mentioned about candlelight dinner, it is true that many men or women made reservations for an elaborate dinner etc..not because they are thinking of romance but some are just doing because they feel the need to 'meet expectations'. I think that motivation is not a romantic one to begin with.
As far as i know romance associated with $$$ will definitely beats romance associated with gesture...
It is easy to say that seeing stars, holding hands walking down the beach....etc etc is romantic.... but let's face it....give a woman the choice of bringing them to shopping trips and seeing stars...i am sure we know wat's the answer will be....
Never in my life have i know of a woman who told me that buying them expensive gifts, eating at MBS, bringing them overseas for shopping trips blah blah...is boring....
But since denise80 say it might become boring overtime...i guess to each his own....
I am not only a practical person but i believe in the reality of this world...and i accept and embrace it....><"
Not all women like shopping... but surely majority does.
The idea of romance is about doing something special and out of the normal mandane life. With money, for sure, it enables people to realize many dreams. How else did Michael Jackson build his fantasy Peter Pan home.
But, let's not forget the rich has their problems. Tai tais that shop endlessly in malls, are they really happy as well?? One has to look at the individual context and preferences. I don't think its really that impressive or romantic to bring Paris Hiton to MBS and overseas trips. Probably something she does a lot and nothing romantic or different.
So, never in your life doesn't mean its the case for everyone. Just that the women around your circle are probably interested having you provide those.
yesno333, I guess it depends on what kind of lifestyle a woman is leading...
Given that I could afford my own branded bags, clothes, jewellery and good food, romance now had a different definition to me. It's not about giving me all these expensive stuff. It's about knowing what I truly like and do things without my knowledge. The challenge in a marriage is to create surprises for your partner without them knowing. I find that romance is 'killed' when I get to know what is planned for me haha....
By the way treating my hubby to an expensive good meal can be romantic to me...it's the experience and not always about receiving.
Denise, its not really all about surprises. Its the thought that counts as well. Making a good meal for you, etc. Beats dinning in fancy restaurants. The better ones are normally not the pretentious ones where you need to seat there quiet like a mouse and slip your expensive wine discreetly. Super boring.
Coming down to meet you for a quick lunch be it for restaruants, Subway or food court, could be little things appreciated.
Milo, I'll say both quality time and excitement. A marriage cannot just have quality time without excitement. Maybe some others can live without excitement but I'll need that. LoL..he's far from being a kid who gives me excitement so I think he can actually work on it hehe
I don't find seeing stars romantic in fact it's silly cause mosquitoes just love to bite me & i rather sleep than to stay up to see sunrise. Maybe ur right I'm not romantic so I don't find these romantic at all. Pass some romantic essence for me to drink plz so I can talk romantic, breath romantic and smell romantic too!!
I heard this mosquitoes thing from someone before years back also..i remember that gf of mine also mention that she use to have a really "sweet" bf that would take MRT with her all the way from her workplace at pasir ris each day to bishan....then say goodbye to her a the doorstep before proceeding to go home himself....
But in the end she would prefer a guy who would pick her up each day and drop her off at her void deck...><"
I am not saying that small gesture such as doing homecook food, eating at food court, watching stars blah blah is not romantic or wat....
But sorry to say, i really feels tat if u based on the context of today's world....it just seem so unrealistic....
Maybe in romeo and juliet era u tell me...i would agree...but sg as it is now....eh....wat can i say...><"
PS : Dun forget not long ago there was a survey done on women in sg...a lot of them would want to be tai-tai....><"
Actually romance is considered 'unrealistic' to begin with. I don't think it should be associated with practicality. Nonetheless, the rich will surely use $ to create romance - they're not at fault either. It's all about the receivers on the other end, whether they feel these are romantic gestures or not.
I repeat... what seems 'unrealistic' in your context might not be generically true to everyone. Accept this fact that the world is way bigger than anyone of us. Being flirty rich probably will get you many women.... still it doesn't mean everyone. Not every soccer star marries a super model or porn actress.
There is more than just wealth. When one is already able to afford much of these, the desire to 'marry up' wouldn't be there.
Sometimes i dun understand why....there is a problem with the english i type or wat...maybe my english not so good la....
I am sure on my above post that i state clearly "I" really feel tat if u based on the context of today's world...it just seem to unrealistic...
This word "I" alone denote my own personal view....i am sure that anyone with basic understanding of english would know tat....
I am sooOoOo sure that nothing in the content i type state that every single person around me should be sharing my own sentiments....
I have always believe that a person should learn to respect one another view...views on issues are bound to differ....a person who view an apple as red color might see another person viewing it as green....there is nothing wrong with both parties....it is just how the different individuals view it.....
Sometimes i cannot help wonder what kind of profession a person is doing that he keep enforcing his idea onto other ppl....must be some discipline master in skool or wat....zzZzzz
"But sorry to say, i really feels tat if u based on the context of today's world....it just seem so unrealistic...."
Telling you that there isn't a generic context is enforcing? None of us have the world all figured out. This is the reality.
"I have always believe that a person should learn to respect one another view...views on issues are bound to differ....a person who view an apple as red color might see another person viewing it as green....there is nothing wrong with both parties....it is just how the different individuals view it.....
The above precisely emphasize the point further. Everyone is different, the context is never the same. So, how can you repeatedly throw a blanket across? I do not discredit your context. But your context isn't everyone's context.
Perhaps in your profession, you have the final say and no one disagree with you.
It's romantic if the object of your fancy thinks it is. That can be the only valid definition. E.g. some chicks love getting flowers but I also once overheard a female colleague screaming at her poor guy over the phone for embarrassing her by sending a humongous bunch. There isn't such a thing as a universally romantic act, money or not. You better know your target audience.
Feel free to talk about things you did which you considered romantic but was badly received by the recipient. Or something you didn't put much thought into and it ended up becoming your most romantic achievement.
There isn't a need to debate over what romance is exactly because it can't be defined. It is only defined by your partner because only he/she matters when it comes to what's considered romantic. Perhaps we should just share lightheartedly what romantic things we have done for or received from others.
When I started this post, it's meant to be lighthearted and fun and part of the reason being, there are just too much negative vibes in other thread..I wanna move away. CNY is approaching..let's think of happier things.
Yesno333, that's my own experience. Went to east coast with my then bf to see stars and was bitten by mosquitoes. Those were the young and silly days. Maybe scope went to mosquitoes free place and can introduce the place He went to us.
The part about waking up to say 'I love u' is reminiscent. Recently my hubby has been doing that. He would usually still be in bed when I wake up to get ready for work. He would however kiss me, say gdbye and that he loves me or misses me as he hugs me before I leave for work. I thought it's really a nice and sweet gesture. I supposed it's this type of romance that costs nothing but makes your day?
Scope, not all women desire 'hot angmohs' lah...you also seem to prefer non-local women mah.
So, do you feel I am a romantic freak or a pragmatic chap? LOL~
It comes from the soul lah... You gotta be someone who enjoys a romantic life. Or... you just never lived. A woman deserves a romance...
I never said all, I said many. It is not that I specifically want foreign babes... But I am really freaked out by local women's thinking.
I mean... look at me~
Which local women will click with me, the way I see relationship? Yesno333 will have better luck than me when it comes to local women. LOL~
Seriously, appreciate what your husband do if it comes from his soul. You gotta have that romance in you to do such things to make it genuine.
Love is a beautiful thing, so it's very difficult to say what is most romantic. If there is something 'most', then romantism can be quantified, and there must be a huge part that is lesser romantic. LOL~ Hence my little argument from my own view about romance.
I am a very sweet chap in real... if and only if I met another sweet girl.
Yesno has a point. Most people think of romance as condiments to spice up their lives. But the way you described it we need to humptum it breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper. You'll surfeit your chick and lose her respect in no time.
Being romantic doesn't mean the person is not a practical. It sounds more like an excuse to link practicality and romantism. It's probably your are lazy too because romance needs effort, not necessary lots of $$$.