Adrian7878
Member
After a few months of looking for direction and helped I decided to post my marital life here for advice from forummers who had a good resolution to similar issue .....
"Marriage is a blessing and should not be taken lightly."
We are both 56 yos now. Hahaha .... let an old man share his love story and see if still relevant today.
1. We were high school sweet hearts. (I an orphan, she from a mid-income family)
2. Went to be an air-cond technician after high school. Stayed in shop. Took up UK technical course in the evening. So only get to see gf on weekends. Gf's father and relatives was against our relationship and told me that in my face. Told my gf what she thinks ..... "Should we carry on relationship?" She said "Yes" and I was motivated to be a better person. I treated her lovingly and careful with all my actions - I never had sex with her until our wedding night.
3. Passed UK Technical Course with special award (Top Student In Asia).
4. Apply for Field Engineer job with US company in Singapore. After interview, straight got verbal offer for job. Three days later, official offer from US company ... basic monthly pay was 6 times what I was earning as air-cond technician then. Straight took up offer and rented room in town ... near office.
5. My job was supporting clients in Asean. After 1 week orientation in Singapore, was flown to Bangkok to support client. First time, flying on plane .... enjoyed food served in plane ???!!! Hahaha.
6. Then was sent to Indonesia. Clients there loved me as I speak fluent Malay .... similar to Indonesian Bahasa.
7. Schedule was 1 week in Singapore, 1 week somewhere in Asean. Gf was worried .... hearing all overseas romances from friends. I told her no worries ... "I only love you & no time for any other things except my work."
8. After 1 year, I bought her a car. So she can be more mobile and know I only have her in my heart.
9. 2nd year, I bought an apartment in River Valley and put her as co-owner. She was over joyed and her family was very impressed by my sincerity & generosity.
10. On 5th year of our relationship, I proposed to gf .... and she accepted. I then had dinner with her parents and asked their permission to marry their daughter ... they said "Yes."
11. After wedding, I always invite my wife to join me to Asean cities where I have work assignments. She gladly join me. I also invited her to join me when I had work assignments in Japan, Australia and USA. She became a well travelled lady.
12. I retired at 48 yos, had paid up house in Holland Rd area I registered in wife's name and car (Merc) too in her name. All her salary was her own spending. She seemed a well-to-do lady.
13. 2014 - I was serving in community service (3 days per week) ... foc. Then ... Wham ! I had a medical misadventure ... went for gall bladder stone removal which went terribly wrong. Landed in hospital for 60 days .... then comatosed for 2 years (at home).
14. When I woke up in 2016, saw a beautiful wife. Slimmer by 20 lbs, fitter and more shapely. But she was not happy to see me awaken ???? I couldn't speak or walk when I first woke up. She just turned to walk out the door to work, saying 'Your food is by the bedside.' What happened ? I thought I was in a dream.
15. Evening, my 2 children visited me .... they were excited and asking me lots of questions but I can only nod or shake my head .... I couldn't speak. All my muscles around my face and throat were gone. I couldn't even hold a pen or spoon. My wife didn't speak with me ..... keeping herself busy to tidy up house.
16. My daughter sourced around for good physio therapist and registered me for 6 months program (once a week on Saturdays). Initially, my daughter took me for physio ... when I got more mobile and stronger my wife asked me to go there on my own. She said "Help me to be independent".
17. As I gained my alertness, noticed wife only back home after midnight (Mon-Fri). Saturdays had family "yum cha" with children and Sundays had gathering with her siblings. I asked her "Why such late hours ... everyday? Resign .... we don't need the money." She replied "No. I enjoy my work." turned around the bed and switched off the lights - end of conversation.
18. I contacted my eldest child and related my concern to her. She then called her mom one evening around midnight, wife told her "I am at home putting laundry in washer." My daughter then called me and I told her "Mom's not home yet !" Daughter was surprised ..... I told her "Call mom again and asked to speak to me and see what she says?" She did and wife told her "Dad is asleep. Don't wake him." What a liar???
19. Next day, daughter spoke to mom "why are you out there so late?". She told my daughter "Don't listen to the old man .... he's sick !" Daughter scolded her mum "Don't be so irresponsible. You lied to me when you said dad was sleeping." Wife's face turned pale then red, saying "I got my work responsibilities !"
20. Now wife set schedule,
Mon : Dinner with children
Tue : Dinner with me
Wed-Fri : She'll be home by midnight saying "I have my needs too"
** no more intimacy with me anymore. saying "menopause already" **
When asked who she was with (Wed-Fri), she replied "colleagues". When asked to join in their clubbing scene, she said "No. My private time."
21. I told her I need a wife/mate to hang out with and shared the day's activities. She replied "I can get you a maid." Aargh ..... I then asked her "You want a divorce ?". She said "No."
I am flabbergasted. It's been going on for 6 months already. Any advice appreciated.
"Marriage is a blessing and should not be taken lightly."
We are both 56 yos now. Hahaha .... let an old man share his love story and see if still relevant today.
1. We were high school sweet hearts. (I an orphan, she from a mid-income family)
2. Went to be an air-cond technician after high school. Stayed in shop. Took up UK technical course in the evening. So only get to see gf on weekends. Gf's father and relatives was against our relationship and told me that in my face. Told my gf what she thinks ..... "Should we carry on relationship?" She said "Yes" and I was motivated to be a better person. I treated her lovingly and careful with all my actions - I never had sex with her until our wedding night.
3. Passed UK Technical Course with special award (Top Student In Asia).
4. Apply for Field Engineer job with US company in Singapore. After interview, straight got verbal offer for job. Three days later, official offer from US company ... basic monthly pay was 6 times what I was earning as air-cond technician then. Straight took up offer and rented room in town ... near office.
5. My job was supporting clients in Asean. After 1 week orientation in Singapore, was flown to Bangkok to support client. First time, flying on plane .... enjoyed food served in plane ???!!! Hahaha.
6. Then was sent to Indonesia. Clients there loved me as I speak fluent Malay .... similar to Indonesian Bahasa.
7. Schedule was 1 week in Singapore, 1 week somewhere in Asean. Gf was worried .... hearing all overseas romances from friends. I told her no worries ... "I only love you & no time for any other things except my work."
8. After 1 year, I bought her a car. So she can be more mobile and know I only have her in my heart.
9. 2nd year, I bought an apartment in River Valley and put her as co-owner. She was over joyed and her family was very impressed by my sincerity & generosity.
10. On 5th year of our relationship, I proposed to gf .... and she accepted. I then had dinner with her parents and asked their permission to marry their daughter ... they said "Yes."
11. After wedding, I always invite my wife to join me to Asean cities where I have work assignments. She gladly join me. I also invited her to join me when I had work assignments in Japan, Australia and USA. She became a well travelled lady.
12. I retired at 48 yos, had paid up house in Holland Rd area I registered in wife's name and car (Merc) too in her name. All her salary was her own spending. She seemed a well-to-do lady.
13. 2014 - I was serving in community service (3 days per week) ... foc. Then ... Wham ! I had a medical misadventure ... went for gall bladder stone removal which went terribly wrong. Landed in hospital for 60 days .... then comatosed for 2 years (at home).
14. When I woke up in 2016, saw a beautiful wife. Slimmer by 20 lbs, fitter and more shapely. But she was not happy to see me awaken ???? I couldn't speak or walk when I first woke up. She just turned to walk out the door to work, saying 'Your food is by the bedside.' What happened ? I thought I was in a dream.
15. Evening, my 2 children visited me .... they were excited and asking me lots of questions but I can only nod or shake my head .... I couldn't speak. All my muscles around my face and throat were gone. I couldn't even hold a pen or spoon. My wife didn't speak with me ..... keeping herself busy to tidy up house.
16. My daughter sourced around for good physio therapist and registered me for 6 months program (once a week on Saturdays). Initially, my daughter took me for physio ... when I got more mobile and stronger my wife asked me to go there on my own. She said "Help me to be independent".
17. As I gained my alertness, noticed wife only back home after midnight (Mon-Fri). Saturdays had family "yum cha" with children and Sundays had gathering with her siblings. I asked her "Why such late hours ... everyday? Resign .... we don't need the money." She replied "No. I enjoy my work." turned around the bed and switched off the lights - end of conversation.
18. I contacted my eldest child and related my concern to her. She then called her mom one evening around midnight, wife told her "I am at home putting laundry in washer." My daughter then called me and I told her "Mom's not home yet !" Daughter was surprised ..... I told her "Call mom again and asked to speak to me and see what she says?" She did and wife told her "Dad is asleep. Don't wake him." What a liar???
19. Next day, daughter spoke to mom "why are you out there so late?". She told my daughter "Don't listen to the old man .... he's sick !" Daughter scolded her mum "Don't be so irresponsible. You lied to me when you said dad was sleeping." Wife's face turned pale then red, saying "I got my work responsibilities !"
20. Now wife set schedule,
Mon : Dinner with children
Tue : Dinner with me
Wed-Fri : She'll be home by midnight saying "I have my needs too"
** no more intimacy with me anymore. saying "menopause already" **
When asked who she was with (Wed-Fri), she replied "colleagues". When asked to join in their clubbing scene, she said "No. My private time."
21. I told her I need a wife/mate to hang out with and shared the day's activities. She replied "I can get you a maid." Aargh ..... I then asked her "You want a divorce ?". She said "No."
I am flabbergasted. It's been going on for 6 months already. Any advice appreciated.
