What should i do?

texasholdem

New Member
hi lost,
1st class honours big deal?
some pple study till MASTERS but still commit adultery. Practically, they are persons who doesnt even know the basic of human principles such as shame, morale, integrity. So what's the point of having high education but couldnt differentiate between right n wrong? SHAME on THEM.
 


fraiii

Member
@tpk
Agree. a higher education not equal person with greater integrity.
Circumstance makes me look forward n not look back.
 

texasholdem

New Member
no need to blame urself lost.
you are not the one at fault anyway.
these type of pple better be off dead rather than living in this world as ren zha.
 

sgbabydoll

Active Member
Self-exploration, self-reflection, self-examination, self-discovery, whatever you call it, is not finding fault with oneself. It is about being honest with yourself and find out about your inner person.
 

fraiii

Member
@ Doll

Relased alot during these diff times... life still will go on whether u like it or not... Family and friends really give oneself the courage to move on...and also through this episode, learnt alot more about oneself.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
Good for you. The self searching benefits no one but you. Don't hold on the grudges or have the need to judge, blame or condemn anyone including yourself. Yon can see how some people cannot wait to come on the condemnation pedestal. They still hold on to their past hurt for years. No one is flawless, we can definitely pick up the pieces and learn from it.

Move on and be strong. Its surely not the end of the road.
 

fraiii

Member
Thanks for all the encouragement n advice. It's been almost 2 months since I last saw her. She could b having the time o her life, for all I care.

World spins if I like it or not n will not pity a loss soul like me. That's the hard fact of life. Rather than wail in pity, hope, I have been taking up new constructive hobbies like exercising and baking.

Time heals. This I beg to differ. But time will dull the pain over time. Things happen for a reason which we may not n never understand. Just have to look forward n walk bravely.
 

fraiii

Member
tomorrow is Valentine's day... the 1st year for 10 years i spent alone.. to all who is facing the same/similar prob... go out with friends and be strong
 
ok lost. happy valentine day to u.

try thinking about the happy moment when u r with her and celebrate it alone with a mug of beer.

memory are sweet. see the photos. celebrate valentine alone. remember to just think about the happy moment
 

lovingyou

New Member
lost: Happy V-day to you.. Try to keep urself occupied, catching up with friends will take ur mind off it. Take care.
 

nichie

Member
Doll, since your courtship time? Why? My bf is the same as you le, don’t likes V-day and said too commercialised….never receive any flower or present from him since I know him and he has to work late tonight!.....going back to have dinner with my mom…that’s how I spend my V-day…..
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
Vday? I'm boarding a flight soon for customer meeting tomorrow. Its a total rip off to celebrate Vday frankly. When resources are limited, spend it wisely. So crowded in restaurants anyway, won't enjoy. Service will be not bwe a good as staffs are overloaded.
 

opalstar

New Member
Vday?? . Spending it with my love one... My mummy dearest.. ^_^

Although I did not like flowers or choc.. I still feel a little forlorn staring at others..
 

sgbabydoll

Active Member
Outcast, not that I had not done the V-Day thing before (a few times already in some previous relationships) but felt that the flower, chocolates and dinner are so cliche and fluffy stuff. Frankly, I don't believe in the story of Valentine and don't care if it was true or not. One of the first things I told my bf was I don't celebrate V-Day.
 

denise80

Active Member
V day? I'm having instant porridge now haha...
Okay lah..I did celebrate on Saturday. We both love food so I treated my hubby to dinner, bought him something while he bought me something. I don't see it as benefitting the restaurants or what on this special occasion but rather, we indeed had a good meal and seized the chance to express how we feel about each other. We love to write letters/cards to one another even without a special occasion.
 

nichie

Member
I guess when you are older you tend to express your love in a different way and you don't need Vday, flower or chocolate etc...although I am also not very particular about Vday and know my bf still love me with or without flower in Vday but hor I have a female colleague in my office receiving a big bouquet of roses from her bf and came over to ask me whether my bf is sending me flower too...wah feel abit sad and 'malu' then le...wish my bf is as romantic and sweet like hers lor although I would prefer something more practical...I just sent a sms to wish him happy Vday...u know he replied 'today Vday? Oh..but everyday is Vday with you.'...chek...don't even remember what day is today and trying to talk himself around...sigh...
 

powder

Active Member
well i love my wife sundays and holidays included...

i think it works both ways, dun have to be me sending flowers n stuff all the time lah... my preference has always been othe stuff, not flowers...
 

nichie

Member
wah, powder...the way you write sound like your wife ever give you flowers before, sure or not? must be cactus lor....chek....never heard of gals giving guys flower....
 

powder

Active Member
think have fake flowers.. but nope, the whole point isn't so much of who gives who, or guys giving girls... seriously i think there may be no end to it...

i think it's sad that in some offices, it has come to a point of seeing which girl receives flowers, and there's this invisible need to compare and wonder why if a person doesn't...

hard to explain... gifts on occasions are nice, i dun dispute... but purpose n sincerity is rather impt too... i dun wanna give for any comparisons to be made, it Has To mean something, and it should not be on an occasion where expectations require to be met.

maybe it's just the rebel in me... i give when there's little expectations, a surprise has to be surprising. but of cos some gals might be surprised to not get anything... hmm, maybe i like the surprise of not getting?
 

sgbabydoll

Active Member
In the morning there was a flower arrangement near my workstation and a colleague asked if my bf had sent it to me. I almost laughed my head off cos it was left over from a media conference I organised last Friday hahaha
 

mum_of_2_girls

New Member
Hi,

Previous years when gold was down, I got gold jewellery.

This year gold is up, I got a heart shape chocolate cake, an italian dinner and couple spa massage.

I'm happy, though overall it's cheaper than gold jewellery, it takes more effort to book and coordinate the above.

My valentine gift to him. Nothing, just be a pretty wife and keep him entertain.
 

wat_are_dreamz

New Member
Doll: Haha, tats a gd one. Very funny. =>

Powder: I feel tat romance, love n surprises goes both ways. I have given my bf flowers for his birthday b4 but i gave lilies not roses. So its a nice surprise to tell him tat i'm busy cant celebrate w him, then arrange for flowers to his house during dinner time.

I dun believe in v-day. If ur partner loves u truly n deeply, then everyday is v-day.
 

fraiii

Member
Want to ask.. My bday was just around the corner and my wife came up n gave me my bday present... Does it mean that she IA having second thoughts about all that has happened?

I thought so... So I asked further n she say she is still seeing TOM and now playing the missing game all over again...


Yes I may be foolish and yes the pain is still there.. I had since seen a counceller to advise me not things and they all say live life to the fullest and not with regrets...

Really still lost n confused . I do love her with all my heart.
 

fraiii

Member
Recently so many forrummer say about unfaithful husband but I want to state claim that woman can be as unfaithful as man.
 

powder

Active Member
if a bday present can move u to think this way, then it gets scarier, cos u're so easily moved. seek your therapy and get over it...

no point finding out in another year that TOM was the original recipient but rejected it thus u got it... but that's a cruel wild thought.
 

fraiii

Member
Am I still silly habouring thoughts of her coming back to my arms?

Both her folks and mine really hope we will grow old together...

And yes a lot of my friends have been scolding me n tell me not to drag on but letting it go it's really hard.. I'm sure some can relate to my predicament...

Everyday I still put on my game face n appear to be strong but it really is taking a toil on me... Going out with friends just dull the pain but the pain is still there... Almost a third of my life was spend with her but I really so want it to be the rest of my life time...

Can only smile n move on.. Whichever way i can go...
 

powder

Active Member
ya my dad wanted me to be a lawyer too, and mum wanted me to hold a stable 5k/mth job.. i fulfilled neither...

it's not that no-one relates to your predicament, it's just that Everyone has their predicaments but they move on, whilst u dun. if it's not a change of heart, by all means go ahead... but if her heart already with someone else then u know well that the heart can't be forced to love another... it is not abt effort either. u either love a person That way or u dun....

if u can sing well, maybe u can be the next çŽ‹æ° with his brand of songs... but even he moved on.
 

infojunkie

Active Member
so what r u going to do with the remaining 2/3 of ur life?

fake a smile and carry ur pain wherever u go?

ok, the only way to kill any remaining hope for reconciliation is to imagine them lying stark naked in YOUR bed making out rite b4 ur eyes...

will u pull the guy away and take over the action? or walk away in disgust?

if u can't deal with the pain, then turn the pain into disgust...

so disgusting that u won't wanna look back anymore...
 

fraiii

Member
Just realised the ass hole got a wife and a gf! WTF... has my wife become a 3rd party?? wtf!

Junkie thanks for the wake up call. im tired of all the circus and roller coaster and its time to go...

The person i fell in love is the person i knew and not know.
 

fraiii

Member
yupz.. thanks for all the encouragement..now for the next phase ba... the papers... another round of heart break... haiz
 

infojunkie

Active Member
cheer up, tmr is another day
happy.gif


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Mj4_il-ZJI
 

vios

New Member
lost,

if you tried hard enough but it wasn't meant to be, yes..... gotta let go. that's life, and it's about the lessons that we learn.

as cliche as it sounds, you'll be all happy with someone new. never give up on life and the love that comes with it.
 

fraiii

Member
@ vios
Probably it's not meant to be. Just sad that it had to end with all the heartbreaks n tears ba. Will definitely live n love life more. I guess it's a matter of being appreciative of what we have which is most impt.

The woman just return me the ring I gave her. Did not leave a note. Just left it at the new apartment. What a way to end things. M expecting lawyers letters soon too regarding seperation. Was feeling emo when I looked at the ring as well as the wedding band. But I really had no more tears left.

To couples out there, be true to ur spouse bf/gf. Always rem y u love them in the first place n always focus on the positive side of things!
 

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