Wedding invites dilemma


New Member
I need help.. hope i wont sound out of place..

I have invite my directors (3 of them) to my wedding. I am not station in my main office, I went back to the main office 2 weeks ago , intending to give them my invitation card personally but they were away from office. So I passed the invitation cards to their personal assistant. Last week, I drop by to the main office again cos I feel it will be more sincere to tell them personally.

I am not high profile or high level position in my company, hence, the directors are not familiar with me. However, they did tell me "maybe" they will attend.

Here is my problem..

How do I get the directors to "confirm" they are attending? This may sounds silly but currently we have restricted number of tables and of cos I do not wish to leave 3 seats empty in case they dont turn up =(
Then I am very shy.. I dont think I have the thick skin to go back to my main office and ask them again and this will sounds pushy too.

Any suggestions ?


New Member
Most people will prepare red packet if they don't turn up last minute - so just reserve 3 seats for them.

A subtle way of asking would be to drop by and chit chat with them on other things, including your wedding preparation, to prompt them to bring up the topic of whether they are coming.

If you are uncomfortable in doing so because you are not close with them you can also ask the secretaries to help you check when the date is nearer.


New Member
hi guy, thanks for your reply...

In fact, I am not very comfortable to chit chat with them cos can see by their body language , they dont really know me.

I also thought of asking their secretaries. However, I already trouble them to help me give my invitation cards the other day, then now still trouble them to help me RSVP..

hai.. headache!!


Well-Known Member
If you have their contact no, just send an SMS reminder to all your guests (them included) or an email.


New Member
It's a simple request, am quite sure they won't mind checking for you.

Although this method is a little elaborated, you can buy the secretaries something e.g. a small box of chocolate before asking them to check for you.

Another way people commonly employ is to use "small talk" before getting into the topic. Chit chat with the secretaries a little before asking them for help. For "small talk", you can choose generally interesting and safe topics (avoid religion) like orchard road flood etc


New Member
It's werid to invite someone who don't know you and some more not working in the same office.

Since you are ok with inviting people who don't know you,
What about inviting your constitency MP?
Some Minister do attend their resident's wedding.
Big AngPow definitely!


New Member
hmm...personally if i'm not so close to the person i won't invite him. because i think there's a high chance they won't attend.

anyway did you invite their secretaries too? if yes it would be easier to RSVP since you can ask them to follow up. or else just leave the seat there, sure they will give ang pow, since they are the bosses.


New Member
If you are sincere in inviting them, you can pop into their office, say hello and had a causal chat, afterwhich you can just bring up the wedding and asked them if they receive the invitation cards, explain why you didnt personally gave them the cards and jus ask if they will be available that day to attend the wedding.

This is what i will do if i were in your shoes. Just a suggestion and hope it helps


New Member
hi TS, i can give u the model answer for this.

But first, i have to strongly disagree with some replies on "if u duno them, dont invite".
This rule only applies to friends and relatives. However when it comes workplace, u HAVE to invite the big bosses, regardless of whether u know them 0% or 100%. Bcoz u never know how they wil tink if they know abt it thr their (mayb) mid-management. Utterly no face to them, n they r the ones signing ur paycheck. ^^

Anyway since u oredi invited, might as well finish the business. The small talk is gd. I did tat too to the PAs during my invitation. Talk abt the weather, the cleaners, ask them abt some common forms, compliment on their new heirdos, bags, accesories, tables, pencils. Whilst they r distracted from all these, pop the 'reminders' like "btw do u tink the boss will come?". They will b too glad to fill u in.

And as one of the thread reply, yes even if bosses dont turn up, they wil give u the biggest angbao for face. So dont wory abt the empty seats, besides u can always pm me to eat that extra share wan lol.

hope that helps.


New Member
try to find out from their secretary the hint of if they will be coming..
u can always ask around your colleagues those who hav invited them bef if its in their tradition to come orbe absent for similar wedding invites

if u feel that they might not turn up perhaps u might want to put them on separate tables where there are already 10 people so in case if they really turn up then quickly ask the waiter to put in another chair for them.. of course ask the hotel for a bigger table for those tables


New Member
like you said, you are not in high position and the bosses don't know you personally, normally people don't invite bosses with no direct working relatinship. but since you have already gave the invites, and they indicated maybe, guess you will need to reserve the seats regardless in the end they give angpow or not. to go deliberately check with then will make you appear desperate.


New Member
"However when it comes workplace, u HAVE to invite the big bosses, regardless of whether u know them 0% or 100%."

I didn't invite any of my bosses for my wedding and I don't see any problem with that even though I do know them and vice versa. Its not a MUST, depends on every individual how important it is to them.


New Member
wahaha, albee super duper funny.

wow, TS u very brave leh.
not so close also dare to invite them like tat.
everytime elevator talk w the big boss, i aldy super cant tahan liao. cant imagine inviting them for my parties.

but i guess most prob they wont be gg bah, tats y they say maybe....


Active Member

leave the seat for them regardless... if they turn up - good. if they dun turn up, they will sorta 'owe u one'.

the cost of the 3 seats are inexpensive and it is cost that u can neglect... i highly dun suggest that u remind them or check with them.

i have never replied to any or my subordinates on their wedding invites, tho i wonder why they invite me, i also understand that they cannot dun invite me. end of the day i will go if i have time, i will give ang pao regardless... so i would think they'd think in a similar fashion. What would be terrible is - if i went and i ended sitting at 'the table of convenience'.

leave the seat. the fuirthest u can go, is to ask their secretary if they are going... but only ONCE. else the secretary might tell them that u are bugging her abt their attendance and that won't reflect well either...

see it as a necessary expense and u'll be fine.


New Member
i agree with sapphire. that's wat i did for my wedding.. i ask for bigger tables for my colleagues which are in tables of 12 instead of 10... if the bosses come it will be weird also to put either them or 2 of ur other colleagues in another table who they dunno any one... in the end, my big boss didnt attend but he gave ang pao..


New Member
hi all.. sorry for my late reply and thanks so much for your suggestions.. ;)

To answer some question why I am inviting them altho "they dont really know me"..

sorry that I might sounds confusing.. They do know I exist but dont know me well as in I dont report to them and I always try to siam them when I have chances to see them as there is no common topics. We just briefly chat before and they know i getting married.. so I have to invite them cos I inviting the mid management who knows me well.

what Milk powder and powder says describe exactly what I am feeling : "when it comes workplace, u HAVE to invite the big bosses, regardless of whether u know them 0% or 100%. Bcoz u never know how they wil tink if they know abt it thr their (mayb) mid-management. Utterly no face to them, n they r the ones signing ur paycheck. ^^ " and "the secretary might tell them that u are bugging her abt their attendance and that won't reflect well either... "

hope to be able to get an answer and not sound like i am a bugger..


New Member
don't get too bogged down by this, just leave 3 empty seats for them will do. if they wanna come, fine, if they don't just forget it.


New Member
anyway the others that promises to come might not turn up on the day itself. no way to really fill up the seats, especially if you have 20 over tables.

I had invited my bosses, they passed me the angpow before the day, cos they wont be coming.
I guess bosses will do that if they not attending.