pink_sapphire
New Member
i have known my ex ever since we were studying in uni last time. We were together for 7 to 8yrs and even nearly got married. We went through our studies together, graduated together, started looking for a job together .. I can say that we been through a lot together and we knew each other pretty well at least i can say that i thought i knew him pretty well. When he proposed, he bought me my dream diamond ring even though he had to pay via installments for it. However, about 3months after he proposed, he initiated a break up with me as he said he had a change of heart. I was devastated back then and it felt like i was falling into this endless black hole. I kept thinking if he was serious when he proposed and why did he propose if he can change heart so easily and quickly. He didnt contact me at all not even to ask about my well being then i thought that well perhaps its just human nature afterall if he really had met someone he thinks that he really likes and is the one then i should be happy for him and wish him happiness. Then 3 mths after my breakup , i met mr j (who is now my husband). Mr j is a person whom i felt can be trusted and wont all of sudden say change of heart type of person and i felt that he is some1 who is not easily swayed by others. We got along pretty well and went out often, never didnt he really asked me in details about why i broke up with my ex which made me feel very comfortable with him. another 3 mths later, mr j asked me to be his gf and my ex called me at the same time to ask for a meet up and also to apologise. I agreed to be mr j gf becos i thought that i have to move on just like wat my ex had told me last time and also cos i thought mr j is a nice person whom i didnt wanna miss. one or two mths later, i met up with my ex he apologiesed and told me that he made a very serious mistake of breaking up with me the other time he said he didnt know wat made him do all those things and hoped that we could be together again. However, we didnt reconcile as i feel that a scar is a scar and i didnt wanna live with it forever also i believe in the chinese saying "hao ma bu chi hui to chai" (gd horse dun turn back). But for the next few months we kept in touch via msn and now and then he did talk about reconciling but i felt that its not for me as i would be always thinking of that espisode if we really reconciled and who knows when he will 1 day tell me again that he has a change of heart all of sudden. Months went by and mr j proposed to me. at that time i felt that well i would have gotten married already if not for my ex who all of sudden said that he had a change of heart. i just wanted to move on and carry on with life and have a taste of wat marrigae life is about further more mr j is a nice guy and i feel that he should be the one. I told my ex that i was getting married so that at least he will not wait for me if ever he is really waiting and i am now already 6mths married after our customary. However, even now i find myself thinking of my ex very often even though we do not msn each other any more. sometimes i find myself wondering, if i still think of him so often, does this mean that i miss him and actually i wan to be with him? but then another part of me tells me that i won't wan to risk it by reconciling with him and then risk it that one day he will tell me that he has a change of heart again i dun think i can take a second heartbreak anymore. but anyway am already married now .. is there anyway that i can dun think or will it just dwindle with time ? we have breakup for slightly more then 2 yrs now but i still kept stop thinking of him through these times. pls advise