Waiting for a proposal

countstars

New Member
Just want to vent - bf and I bought a resale flat late last year and scheduled the solemnisation for middle of this year (my suggestion, it's on our anniversary, had to appeal to HDB for an extension) but he still hasn't proposed. I have communicated to him that I want a proposal but I don't need anything grand or an expensive ring, so it's not like he needs time to save up. Last time I asked, he said he was planning to propose by end of March but nothing yet. Meanwhile couples I know who have been together a shorter time than us have gotten engaged recently... sigh. Feeling anxious from the wait :(
 

Last edited:

Just want to vent - bf and I bought a resale flat late last year and scheduled the solemnisation for middle of this year (my suggestion, it's on our anniversary, had to appeal to HDB for an extension) but he still hasn't proposed. I have communicated to him that I want a proposal but I don't need anything grand or an expensive ring, so it's not like he needs time to save up. Last time I asked, he said he was planning to propose by end of March but nothing yet. Meanwhile couples I know who have been together a shorter time than us have gotten engaged recently... sigh. Feeling anxious from the wait :(
I thought buying the HDB is the "proposal" liao .... :p

But in all seriousness, he's either super dense or doesn't care enough for your feelings if he doesn't take action after your prompting twice for a proposal.

It does sound like you're more invested in this relationship than he is.

Is he the same age or younger than you are?
 

countstars

New Member
I thought buying the HDB is the "proposal" liao .... :p

But in all seriousness, he's either super dense or doesn't care enough for your feelings if he doesn't take action after your prompting twice for a proposal.

It does sound like you're more invested in this relationship than he is.

Is he the same age or younger than you are?
Good to know I'm not being overly sensitive about this, sigh. We're the same age. He's a practical person and has said before that there's no rush since we will be getting married anyway, so I think it's partly complacency on his part. I've already told him it should be sooner rather than later though, because it's about the gesture.

When I asked him recently why he hadn't kept to the timeline, he pointed at outside and said, "This kind of weather, how to propose?" (cuz of the heavy rain) but it's not like it needs to be outdoors?? He also mentioned I would be upset if he anyhow planned. I retorted and said I was sad that his first thought was not wanting to upset me but he replied that his male friends all think the same thing about proposals. But again, I already told him I don't need anything fancy or grand as long as it's meaningful...

It doesn't help that he gets upset when I try to talk to him about these things :(
 
Last edited:
It is a big deal, else you wouldn't be upset about it.
And he shouldn't trivialize it since it is important to you.

No proposal, no marriage...
 

bubblepeaz

New Member
I need some advice. Heads up, this is a long post.

Some context (housing):
Boyfriend and I have been dating for 2.5 years. Last year we talked and came to a conclusion that we will start to look seriously at resale flats after CNY of this year. CNY came and past but no initiative on his end to look seriously into buying a house together. We have talked about marriage and our end goal seems to be aligned. He is turning 34 this year and he is always keen on the idea of having two properties (the idea of decoupling), one under his name and one under mine. Recently, he proposed the idea of waiting till next year when he turned 35 so he can purchase a HDB flat under his name before we get married, again pushing the timeline further back. I rejected this idea.

More context (e ring):
He took the initiative to attend an engagement ring course and measured the size of my ring finger (which he forgot the size lol). I took this as a hint and I told him I would like to see a few jewelers and we did having also settled on JannPaul (ring deposit of $500 has been made). Now we are waiting for the 3D rendering of the ring. However, the entire process needed some prompting and pushing on my end for him to take more action (deposit of the ring, contacting sales person to ask more questions, etc.).

Boyfriend also mentioned that diamond rings have no resale value, and commented on how remainder payment for the ring would not be so soon as there might be a chance that some do not want to purchase the ring even after deposit has been made. When I asked about proposal, he averted his eyes away and quickly ended the topic saying "see how, idk".

Becasue of the housing and ring buying process, I do have this gut feeling that he isn't ready for marriage. Or rather, he isn't 100% keen on marrying me. I asked him if he's sure about this but he asked me back why I think this way without answering my question.

So guys....am I overthinking and being too insecure? Does he really want to marry me and settle down? Thanks would really appreciate some input.
 

newproject

Active Member
How old are you? 30?
I need some advice. Heads up, this is a long post.

Some context (housing):
Boyfriend and I have been dating for 2.5 years. Last year we talked and came to a conclusion that we will start to look seriously at resale flats after CNY of this year. CNY came and past but no initiative on his end to look seriously into buying a house together. We have talked about marriage and our end goal seems to be aligned. He is turning 34 this year and he is always keen on the idea of having two properties (the idea of decoupling), one under his name and one under mine. Recently, he proposed the idea of waiting till next year when he turned 35 so he can purchase a HDB flat under his name before we get married, again pushing the timeline further back. I rejected this idea.

More context (e ring):
He took the initiative to attend an engagement ring course and measured the size of my ring finger (which he forgot the size lol). I took this as a hint and I told him I would like to see a few jewelers and we did having also settled on JannPaul (ring deposit of $500 has been made). Now we are waiting for the 3D rendering of the ring. However, the entire process needed some prompting and pushing on my end for him to take more action (deposit of the ring, contacting sales person to ask more questions, etc.).

Boyfriend also mentioned that diamond rings have no resale value, and commented on how remainder payment for the ring would not be so soon as there might be a chance that some do not want to purchase the ring even after deposit has been made. When I asked about proposal, he averted his eyes away and quickly ended the topic saying "see how, idk".

Becasue of the housing and ring buying process, I do have this gut feeling that he isn't ready for marriage. Or rather, he isn't 100% keen on marrying me. I asked him if he's sure about this but he asked me back why I think this way without answering my question.

So guys....am I overthinking and being too insecure? Does he really want to marry me and settle down? Thanks would really appreciate some input.
 

Top