confusedsad
New Member
Hi All,
I know there are a lot of regulars in this forum. And they have gone through a lot too...
I hope i can get some advices here...
Gonna to be a long story...
Last yr Nov, i found out my hb has an affair.. TOW called and told me. And my hb has admitted as well. he decided to cut off contacts and want the family... so i decided to give it a try.. but In Jan tis yr, TOW called me again... said they are still in contact etc..told me even more stuff about them. my hb oso admitted ...but he said they are not together... he dun wan TOW to disturb me , she only wan updates about us.
then he called her, in front of me. asked her not to call him again... as time goes by, everything went quite ok ...
but perhaps i have been cheated by him twice.. i feel insecure and suspicious of him..he too feel fed up... and i went clubbing more often and drank... get to know more frds etc... he did suspect of me hving another man as i went out like maybe once every 2 week to club...but i didnt do anything unfaithful.. i just wan to chill and relax..dun wish to think so much at hm..
in may, i again found out they are in contact..
from there, i am very disappointed...they been contacting a mth ... his promises are all empty promises... the reason he told me y they get contacted..is TOW called him, ask how is he etc... but he feel tat i didnt commit to the marriage...always go club etc...and he suspect i got other guys outside...therefore he continued to keep contact with her.... it seems bcum my fault oso...
but he insisted he didnt meet up with her
we give each other time to think wat we want...
we got 2 options..and choose one...
1) no divorce bcos we got a boy..but each has own gf/bf outside...reach hm will still my boy parents
2) both commit together again... try on the marriage again...
end up we decided to commit together... he told TOW straight dun find him anymore etc, going to reconcile with me...
my hb said since we decided to commit, he hope i dun bring up the topic again and dun alwys suspicious...
during jun, everything went smooth...
but i duno y ... i will still keep suspicious on him...as he use his mobile a lot..
perhaps is a phobia oso ... cos the last round i found they are stil contact is thru mobile skype...
in jul, we almost quarrel every wkend... til now our r/s have been in the rocks...
i told him i will give him an ans after my boy bday in early oct...whether to divorce or commit again..
i am very confused... my boy is the one made me hesitate in getting a divorce...
he only 2yrs+, coming 3... he has seen us quarrel so many times... he is so innocent...whenever he saw us quarrel, he wil say STOP.... really break my heart.. y his parents behave in this way...
he will tel me he wan daddy mummy...he love daddy mummy... i really cant bear to separate him from his daddy...
but i really not happy to stay with my hb... perhaps the pain is too much...til i cant really forgive and forget...resulting i cant commit and keep suspicious...and i am very mentally tired... i wish to put to an end...
and i am staying with his parents... my in laws oso not so gd, not easy to stay together..
i really wish to get away from them , have my own life...thinking to give myself a chance , if i can find a better man whom can truly love me and my boy...can find my happiness again...
but i really worried my boy cant take it..if bring him away.. he always say he wan daddy mummy gonggong, ah mah... he is too young.. am i selfish if i get a divorce...$ is oso another thing i worry if divorce
i duno if i still love my hb... maybe there is , but not much already.. i dun care for him so much .. maybe i know too much about him and TOW..to many lies...
can you all advise me wat shd i do...
I know there are a lot of regulars in this forum. And they have gone through a lot too...
I hope i can get some advices here...
Gonna to be a long story...
Last yr Nov, i found out my hb has an affair.. TOW called and told me. And my hb has admitted as well. he decided to cut off contacts and want the family... so i decided to give it a try.. but In Jan tis yr, TOW called me again... said they are still in contact etc..told me even more stuff about them. my hb oso admitted ...but he said they are not together... he dun wan TOW to disturb me , she only wan updates about us.
then he called her, in front of me. asked her not to call him again... as time goes by, everything went quite ok ...
but perhaps i have been cheated by him twice.. i feel insecure and suspicious of him..he too feel fed up... and i went clubbing more often and drank... get to know more frds etc... he did suspect of me hving another man as i went out like maybe once every 2 week to club...but i didnt do anything unfaithful.. i just wan to chill and relax..dun wish to think so much at hm..
in may, i again found out they are in contact..
from there, i am very disappointed...they been contacting a mth ... his promises are all empty promises... the reason he told me y they get contacted..is TOW called him, ask how is he etc... but he feel tat i didnt commit to the marriage...always go club etc...and he suspect i got other guys outside...therefore he continued to keep contact with her.... it seems bcum my fault oso...
but he insisted he didnt meet up with her
we give each other time to think wat we want...
we got 2 options..and choose one...
1) no divorce bcos we got a boy..but each has own gf/bf outside...reach hm will still my boy parents
2) both commit together again... try on the marriage again...
end up we decided to commit together... he told TOW straight dun find him anymore etc, going to reconcile with me...
my hb said since we decided to commit, he hope i dun bring up the topic again and dun alwys suspicious...
during jun, everything went smooth...
but i duno y ... i will still keep suspicious on him...as he use his mobile a lot..
perhaps is a phobia oso ... cos the last round i found they are stil contact is thru mobile skype...
in jul, we almost quarrel every wkend... til now our r/s have been in the rocks...
i told him i will give him an ans after my boy bday in early oct...whether to divorce or commit again..
i am very confused... my boy is the one made me hesitate in getting a divorce...
he only 2yrs+, coming 3... he has seen us quarrel so many times... he is so innocent...whenever he saw us quarrel, he wil say STOP.... really break my heart.. y his parents behave in this way...
he will tel me he wan daddy mummy...he love daddy mummy... i really cant bear to separate him from his daddy...
but i really not happy to stay with my hb... perhaps the pain is too much...til i cant really forgive and forget...resulting i cant commit and keep suspicious...and i am very mentally tired... i wish to put to an end...
and i am staying with his parents... my in laws oso not so gd, not easy to stay together..
i really wish to get away from them , have my own life...thinking to give myself a chance , if i can find a better man whom can truly love me and my boy...can find my happiness again...
but i really worried my boy cant take it..if bring him away.. he always say he wan daddy mummy gonggong, ah mah... he is too young.. am i selfish if i get a divorce...$ is oso another thing i worry if divorce
i duno if i still love my hb... maybe there is , but not much already.. i dun care for him so much .. maybe i know too much about him and TOW..to many lies...
can you all advise me wat shd i do...