Tribute to Kerin Peh

judyeng

New Member
I'm sure many of you have heard of last year's story about a groom falling to his death at Hilton hotel on the night of his wedding day.

It comes as sad news that Kerin Peh, the widow of Vernon Leong, has also recently plunged to her death, allegedly committing suicide.

Kerin Peh is a fellow forummer of Singaporebrides.com and I sincerely hope her soul will rest in peace.. she is in the arms of her hubby now..
 


thommy

New Member
Read about it from the papers few days ago...my deepest condolences to them and may both of them rest in peace.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
A moment of silence for the both of them

Condolences to families and loved ones for their lost.
 

powder

Active Member
sori, i dun agree... tribute isn't the word to use... the husband's death enquiry has not been concluded... (None of us actually know the reason behind his death Yet). her parents have to see her in a ghastly physical state...

i'm sad the events happened, but a tribute... i dun agree. there's no glorifying of such actions and pple who think it's anything worth looking up to, should seriously examine their heads...

u try bringing up your kid, wiping their ass... seeing their face change year after year... seeing their bodies grow... seeing their futures being built...

and u end up seeing them messed up and dead... over reasons that is part of life. Death is part of life and does not discriminate young nor old... but death thru our own actions is something that should not be condoned.

i only take consolation in the fact that her mind may have been totally messed up. but not the fact that her family has to see her in such a state. the last 3 months i have seen a few suicides... we should look at the surviving parents and wailing mothers to question why their children left them this way, and left them to see them in such physical state.

u surf the net, see babies grow... it is an absolute tragedy... but tribute it should not be.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
The condolences are for the grieving family and loved ones. Regardless its a tribute or whatsoever.

But, agree that is totally nothing glorifying such negative self destructive thoughts. For sure, she suffered terribly. Her end of her misery is basically transferred to the living.
 

simpleman

Active Member
I agree with powder. What tribute are we talking about?

It is a tragedy that she cannot get over her husband's death. And she has to bring more pain to the people who love her..
 

thommy

New Member
joiedevivre, no one is judging her...we all feel sorry for the way she ended her life, that's all.

scope, if u've got nothing better to type, just scram. This thread is not meant to be funny. Show some basic respect to the dead, even if u dun feel like it.
 

powder

Active Member
my comments Are Not Meant to be a disrespect to the deceased... it's to Remind Ourselves that it is the surviving members who suffer... we may not be fully aware of who loves us, and who suffers from our decision to take our own lives... our last act in life should not be something that is self-centred... we have our duty to our parents and children to at least live... Time is an important ingredient in Life.

i dun think anyone here is fully aware of the pain that her parents have to go thru... and if u are a parent, take a few minutes to visualize that baby u have painstakingly brought up... reaching a point where they decided that their life was to end... Why?
 

joiedevivre

New Member
i feel sorry for her family too. suicide definitely wrong, but my point is, i don't think people in her shoes will be able to make clear-headed decisions.

hope the police can find out the reason for the husband's suicide. at least can have some closure for the family.
 

vios

New Member
for me, it's just unfortunate and sad for her to get torn completely apart - along with the family members - for the last seven months and....

it really varies with individuals on coping with the death of love ones.

def, her alleged suicide is yet another painful episode for the family and in-laws on which i believe she wouldn't have gone to this extreme measure if not for her utter devastation since the very night of their wedding.... regardless of the conclusion on her husband's death.

too emotionally-draining for her rather than self-centreness on her part, maybe?

anyway, i just wish that both families will recover well from the consecutive tragedies.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
joiedevivre,

something is very flawed in your rationale here... This not in her shoes reasoning again.

NO ONE is even doubting that she wasn't clear minded in her situation. It is a fact that its the living that continue with the grieve for the lose of the loved one. Anyone could snap. We all have different threshold and weakness. But, do we glorify her act? It understandable on why she did it, but it doesn't change the fact on the hurt it is causing to her loved ones.

you wrote :
"Don't judge her. Her hb jumped off the hotel on their wedding night. It's a shock that not many people can take."
As if someone judged her when clearly nobody did. And I'm not so sure that suicide is definitely wrong in all situations either.
 

joiedevivre

New Member
hi milo,

i am not saying we should glorify her act lah. just that she's already dead and something terrible happened to her before to cause the suicide, so it will be good if we can show some sympathy instead of judge her by saying that she was "self-centred" (see powder's post) and didn't care for the feelings of her family.

easy for us to pass such comments now bcos our families are alive and well. but can we say for sure that if our spouses did the same thing as her hb, we will be able to snap out of it so easily?
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
joiedevivre,

still doesn't make sense. Powder's post mention abt the last act being self-centred came after your post.

In powder's initial post, he did offer sympathy and also acknowledge the fact that her state of mind is totally contributing to it.

"i only take consolation in the fact that her mind may have been totally messed up. but not the fact that her family has to see her in such a state. the last 3 months i have seen a few suicides."

No offense but seems you jumped the gun and trying to cover your tracks. Its really normal that we could misunderstand each other words, just clarify and acknowledge the wrong assumptions. I just find the kind of attempts to cover up pointless. If we make a wrong point, just admit it loh. It happens, no big deal.
 

joiedevivre

New Member
milo,

powder's first post before mine and yours mentioned that her death is causing more pain to the family and we shld not glorify "such people".

maybe he can answer what he meant by "such people"?

also, internet full of even more glorifying tributes to koreans who killed themselves. like the former president, the actor park yong ha. even though kerin is dead, i think it's ok to remember her. think this thread is about remembering her life, rather than glorifying what she did at the end.

hais... there is no need to cover any tracks, bcos all the posts are here for everyone to see. and i am not here to win any argument. we just have diff views that's all.
 

joiedevivre

New Member
strange tt u would do keyword search when the posts are all above. cos he didn't spell out people mah. he said "such actions and pple".

if you don't agree with kerin's actions, don't come to this thread. this thread title is "tribute to kerin". it's not "comment whether you think what she did is right or wrong".
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
In fact, powder was referring to people that look up to as something to pay the tribute for. Maybe u should reread the statement again. And as mentioned, in his post, he clearly displayed the sympathy. Just that he spoke against the glorifying of the acts.

"there's no glorifying of such actions and pple who think it's anything worth looking up to..."

See the selective filtering??
You only read...
"there's no glorifying of such actions and pple " fullstop. The meaning is somewhat different.
 

joiedevivre

New Member
then it is powder who jumped the gun lor. bcos i only saw tribute to kerin, which i took to mean, a tribute to her life.

i guess you guys linked tribute with her death. but in fact, the title is tribute to kerin. not tribute to how she killed herself. so this thread is not abt glorifying suicide at all. you get what i mean right?

unless of course you think that the person's final act defines his or her life. and all that happened before doesn't count for anything lah.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
powder disagreed with the word tribute and gave his reasons for it. But, no one was condemning the late Kerin at all. As for tribute to her life, no disrespect but I don't know her enough to tribute anything about her. Do you? And do you assume other in the forum mostly would? It would be really strange to start a thread for a tribute of a person's life where we have totally no knowledge about except her tragic plight. This is the only thing almost everyone in here know about her life. And u tell me its that's jumping a gun? Frankly, that's a very lame case to me.

By this logic, maybe you could do everyone a service by starting tributes with all in the Newspaper Obituaries.

Anyway, still up this late? Watching the 3rd placing match later? 1.5 hrs to go.
 

powder

Active Member
Isn't my post on Friday 10.09am pretty self-explanatory?

It's a fcuking selfish act to jump n leave your body for your parents to see and identify regardless of what u been thru.. Suicide is bad enough as it is. Yes it's tragic her husband died but everyone dies... Besides the reason for his death isn't even verified and I didn't even wanna question u when u said he jumped off the hotel.

Do u know something the police dun?

Lastly, u keep talking abt the sad parents but who made that decision to cause them greater grief?

It is precisely u using 'Grief' that I decided to post. What Korean president and Park? Do u even know why the president killed himself?

I dun agree with her actions, nor do I agree to having a freaking tribute that's why I said what I said. Are u even a parent and do u understand how much pain that inflicts? Why is she now some figure worth bringing up?

I'm here to protect the impressionable pple who might think it's worthy to kill oneself over such reasons...

And dun give me the crap abt whether we'd do the same if it happens to us... That's very poor justification. If my wife dies for whatever reason, I will grieve, but I will not go jumping after her when I still have mouths to feed and frens to grow old with... And what makes u think I will reunite with her in afterlife? Some tv serial put that romantic thought in your head?

If the husband didn't commit suicide and she did.. Do u think they'd be at the same place afterlife? Where's the fcuking logic and néed to pay tribute to selfishness, stupidity and the wrong prioritizing of one's worth in life?
 

powder

Active Member
Joie,

Pls be honest... Who the he'll pays tribute to someone they dun know nor hasn't done anything really great and whose last act is to leave the parents in such state?

Why pay tribute to a life where the person threw that very life away... .?
 

joiedevivre

New Member
i understand where you're coming from, powder. i agree with you too that suicide will only make life even more painful for those who are alive. but she's already dead. my pt was tt it's ok to just let it be?

but it's good that you want to protect impressionable minds agnst the romantic notion of being reunited after death. i also don't believe in that.

if you feel so strongly agnst this thread, you can always request for the moderator to close it down.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
"hope the police can find out the reason for the husband's suicide."

In fact, from the version that I have heard, there is possibility that its a misadventure than suicide for the groom.
 

powder

Active Member
Joie,

1. The moderators are slow, it is better for me to post.
2. I dun send emails to moderators to close threads, if it is a mistake, we learn from it instead.
3. I feel strongly about the word used, which subconsciously inputs into pple's minds that there's something there worth following or learning from.
4. I clarified that the cause n reason for his death isn't even confirmed by the police yet, when u said he jumped... U know how big a difference that can make?

Lastly, I think I have less to clean up here than u. So I dun need to jump all over the place... My posts have been rather clean and free from ignorance and mistakes
 

cococherry

New Member
"hope the police can find out the reason for the husband's suicide."

I thgt he went to smoke then tripped and fell down?
 

sadelmo

New Member
It's very sad and disheartening to see such things happen to a loving couple.. Hope that this incident remind us to treasure our loves one when they are still around.
 

kittenpie

New Member
Kerin Peh went through a trauma that none of us here will be able to understand. Condolences to her family.

but i agree that we should not glorify her action.

i read that her family sobbed at the spot she died for three hours in the dead of the night, waking the whole neighbourhood. a colleague of mine lives in one of the blocks where this happened and told us about it first hand.

surely, a healthy person should live for herself, her family and her friends and not live solely and die solely for one special person only?

trauma ... could proper counselling have prevented this? could counselling have helped to ease the bereavement and made someone appreciate that hope still lives on after death?

i urge all those bereaved to seek help rather than to go onto the path of no return.
 

powder

Active Member
I would like to re-iterate that have absolutely no wish to disrespect nor be rude to anyone here...

Suicides are getting common and nearer to our door step than we think... As much as some of u have this irritating tendency to tell me I dun understand nor anyone else does... U should understand that u too might not have experienced a pointless suicide so close to u... The questions that run thru helpless old parents...

As a local student attempts to take his/her own life daily, have u ever stopped and wondered 'why?'

I know why I am posting and I offer no apologies...
 

joiedevivre

New Member
yup, i agree with may.

i think we can take this opportunity to bring up the point about how those who are depressed can seek help. because a lot of people have the misguided belief that a person in depression should "wake up" and not hurt others close to them.

but it often doesn't happen like that. we need to reach out to them as friends and family. depression is a medical condition and it impairs a person's thinking.

i think the onus is on the friends and family to ensure that the person suffering from depression or who has suicidal thoughts is watched at all times and has gone for proper treatment and couselling.
 

sgbabydoll

Active Member
May she rest in peace.

But strictly speaking, how she had taken her own life is certainly not inspiring to anyone, and therefore, the expression of sympathy toward her cannot be called a tribute.
 

powder

Active Member
saw the papers put something abt the 2 of them being together in death... but i'm wondering... if one's death is accidental, and one death is suicide... how do they actualy meet in the afterlife if they are going to 2 different places?

it may sound like i'm trying to be rude here, but since this topic is already here... might i remind u that depending on your religious inclinations... Dying Does Not Mean Re-Uniting... so pple should not have the idea that they will see each other in the after-life... it's unprovane, ost of it are religious inclinations...
 

vios

New Member
i don't know abt the afterlife thingy, but it seems to me the papers always like to sensation-ize something out of such tragedies...
 

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