Trapped and Stranded

[baggyeyes]

Risuel,

not really true that "parents will not lay hands on their kids". If that is true, there won't be so many cases of child abuse reported in FSCs.

After so many days, I guess you have the answer yourself. I see that you have found a no. of "excuses" for your parents actions. The decision is yours. If you think that you SHOULD continue to stay on in that house and find the right opportunity to announce your wedding plans, then do as you want.

 

[risuel]

im just worried that my mum couldnt take the blow. since young, my parents had forbid us to marry christians. their reasons are ridiculous...

we have bad encounters with our ex neighbour and hence, top it up more.

i drag gg home everyday.

i see myself being pushed to the corner of a cliff...

 

[greyarea]

have you tried writing letter to your mum and tell her your feeling? i don know if this work or things will backfire but at least this is not face to face confrontation? and you can slip the letter in her bag and you quickly disappear?

 

[royal]

There is always light at the end of a tunnel. Where There seems to be no way, God will make a way.
Just want to encourage you.
Move out if you must..Maybe, until they lose you,they will look back and realise that they are the ones who drive you away ....
Show them you can live well in marriage with the one you choice..

 

[risuel]

actually, i did thought of drafing email to my bro. but i dun think its workable...

just had a talk with FH's mum. shes also worried bout me. she was saying wat if my mum cldnt accept it and faint on the spot? she said that in a POV as a mom...

im damn lost! im fretting as the days goes by. i dont know how am i gg gt outta of this situatn...

 

[green_tranquility]

Risuel,
Does your mum have serious medical history like heart attack? If no, I doubt she will really faint. Your family will probably find it a surprise.

Let me post a question to you:
Which of the following 2 cases will your mum be MORE likely to faint?
Case A. Daughter moves out of house
Case B. Daughter gets killed by hubby

I suggest you to move out when noone is around at home + write a brief note to your family that you still love them and treat them as your family. This prevents head-on confrontation with your family. By moving out, you are actually protecting your safety, preventing a possible family's tragedy, preventing a bigger blow to your mum.

Trust me, moving out may improve the relationship between you and your family. Anyway, you also have to move out after your wedding right? Why not do it earlier?

I actually moved out of the house without discussing it with my family beforehand because I was afraid they would hurt me. I shall cut the long story short. After staying separately, I feel happier & it improves the relationship between us.

Just my 2 cents worth. Take care.

 

[andee]

talk. talking is the best.
there might be conflict and things like that but it is unavoidable. but dragging isnt a good solution either.

good luck to you friend!

 

[risuel]

hi pple

andee low: i have tried over the years. if its that simple, i wouldnt be as miserable as b4 till now.

green: i did ponder over your suggestn. i was wondering which way could be beta. in fact, last sat, we had another breakout. mum was pesisitent in nagging me over some issues. bro was at home. he pushed me and i nearly lost my balance. they asked me to gtta the house. by then, my heart totally sank.

bro said he pushed me cos i was being rude to my mum. i agreed cos i couldnt contain my anger with my mum. i've tried to keep calm, being nonchalant over what she said, but she simply couldnt let me off.

she was kicking a fuss since 10+ am till 2 in the noon, thats when i left the house. during that moment, i seriously thought of jumping off from my house. i know i shldnt hv this tot, but theres no way for me to stop my mum from her naggings! it was gt on my nerves. i was crying on my way out.

im being hurt emotionally and mentally, but yet they dun see the picture.

is leaving the house and applying for ppo seems to be the solutn?

im thinking, i dun wanna make a grave mistake tat'd cause my mum to break down... im almost done with packing of my stuff to bring to my FH's place.

but yet, i cant ctrl my emotions...

 

[baggyeyes]

Hi risuel,

I have been reading your thread again....you are the odds against everyone in the family. There may really be very very strong reason why they objected you so violently. We really don't know why your family behaves this way but I would hope that you could really leave that home first and think through what you should do.

Don't think you are able to think right in that environment. You need a place to think. Anyway, you are old enough to decide on things. Leaving the house and applying PPO seems to be the solution for now, at this juncture. This is to protect yourself.

 

[risuel]

hi all

Based on my obedience, I did something which I cant imagined that I did it. I need advice.

Last wed, I decided to go ahead with the plan. As my FH and I are not the ideal person to talk to my family, his parents + his younger bro went.

I was worried, being fretting over it for days. To my astonishment, my dad allowed em to my house. In the midst of the conversation, my mum was being hysterical, asked my bro to tell my FH's mum that he has actually wanting to beat my bro up.

My bro was hostile towards em. FH's bro did catch up with my bro, and somehow he simmers down alil.

My dad told em that I have LIED all these while. and was asking y couldnt i be honest towards em. Needless to say, they have explained that there was NO WAY for me to communicate with em, when my family keep insisting that Im the stir starter of this mess.

After that evening, I didnt went home since then. Initially my FH's parents kept asking me to go back, but pls... What could have happend if i were to head back home?

I seriously dun dare to imagine. The next day, i went to see my counsellor and she suggested that I refrained from applying for PPO since I wasnt at the "scene", which i agree.

Since then, I was at my friend's place till now. But I did do my part in calling my dad's up just to check out things @ home.

Dad said mum was very upset, cried and din sleep well etc. But even if im back, how much can i help? Not as tho my mum would sleep well every night. Im not trying to be crude, im stating the fact.

The parents has not got a chance to inform em bout my marriage cos my mum kept cutting their conversation. His bro raised it to my bro and he said "if she marries, she can gtta outta house!"

so oh well...wat should i do now? it's been the 6th day since i stayed out.