Thank u so much.
Denise80 n chiliketchup, my english n expression in word not so good, so i tend to say it in easier way. sory if i am tat bad.
cottonball, yes ustand wat u said, sparks is jus a while not forever n it might go off after few yrs in a rs. but i wil try my best to hav the spark n surprises everyday.
littlewoman, yes it is more to contribution of household all which i don tink so i wil put in a single cent. yes 2nd guy wil do tat without me asking, but again, it will be hard on him to succeed his dream n plan of business.
and all, i never think to 2-timing. i believe in love, there must b trust. and i believe if i am 2-timing n hurt any of them, future it might just bounce back to me.
i will think carefully and decide.
i know i could not drag any longer but i really need sometimes. i think i need to tell both guy frankly on how i feel towards them and easier let them decide??since i myself could not decide even though my heart strongly tells me i want 2nd guy.i jus coward and scare.
hub_hub: I dun quite agree / understand why can't u contribute anything through the household allowances? I don't think it is an issue for ladies/wives to do contribution in the society now, just like what my HB and I are doing, instead, I insist to pay half. Women in the older days dun work and thus, they depend heavily on their men to fork out any monies for maintaining the house, but I don't seem to think that is the case in the modern society now? We women request for equal standing in societies, hence, why stick to old thinkings then?
"i think i need to tell both guy frankly on how i feel towards them and easier let them decide??"
So you mean to say ur gonna give them the say and decide how your life should go about? So what do you expect them to say or do? Talk, fight it out between themselves and one wins one loses, gives in and lets the winner be with you isit? You sound so immature.
I just feel that she doesn't seem to have much mind of her own... can't decide = let ppl decide how her life shld be lead... This can happen in r/s, it might happen in other aspects of her life as well...
About weighing money vs love. It would be understandable if the offer is too good to be denied. i.e. the guy is super rich, probably difficult for one to achieve it themselves or the person is in desperate crisis and immediate priority is clearly finances
Else, wouldn't it be foolish, short sighted and even 'cheap' to be tempted by such a basic offer?
"Its nothing so wrong to have selfish or personal agendas. Just be honest with yourself. Don't paint yourself as an angel when you are clearly not thinking of their interests throughout."
"About weighing money vs love. It would be understandable if the offer is too good to be denied. i.e. the guy is super rich, probably difficult for one to achieve it themselves or the person is in desperate crisis and immediate priority is clearly finances. Else, wouldn't it be foolish, short sighted and even 'cheap' to be tempted by such a basic offer?"
haha.its funny hor.i believ one not in the shoe will not no how i really feel.i am not saying i am like angel, but i belilev its just human being, being blur and could not control their feeling and make mistake.well, vios, i never say i am super-ly beautiful or sex-goddess, please mind your word. yah, i just hope is both guy will leave me instead of i am choosing because i dont like to make decision.
You are really more concerned about your interest and hence cannot bear to let go of either.
No one is making u an angel. it is you that excuse yourself citing you cannot bear to hurt them. And now you wanted them to decide for you. Do you not see how ironic and contradicting that is? You come in here to ask for advises and not for people to be in your shoes. So, get that right. You are not in others shoes too. Would you know how much hurt you are causing the 2 of them? Ignorance is not an excuse. Hurt caused is very real. So, face up to the reality. No bullshitting or excusing will change the facts.
"i just hope is both guy will leave me instead of i am choosing because i dont like to make decision". Do you not see how selfish that is? And to claim u cared for them. Reflect.
you better make a choice when you can. don't assume that both of them will always be around you, the first guy wanting to pay for your things, and the second guy wanting to be with you.
i feel that you are too confident of yourself. and you are dilly dallying because you think that you have the power to "choose" between two of them.
let me tell you this, if you don't handle this properly, maybe the person who gets hurt in the end will be you.
from what you have said, the second guy has doubts about you. he doesn't believe that you can change. if you like him and you still don't make a commitment to break from the first guy and be with him, he may get sick of waiting for you to decide and just move on.
There is no best of both worlds in love and r/s... It is never fair to throw the ball onto another person's court when you dunnoe how to go about resolving the issues. There mus be 1 person whom you love more, from what I assume is the 2nd guy, but what is stopping you from it? Practicality and reality of monies temptation ya... Hence, do you realli love the guy afterall?
even if i were to get condemned, i genuinely meant that... i really believe they are more attracted to your physical attributes.
going by your house of thoughts in this very topic, u are like the typical auntie (no puns intended) in the fish market - gauging which is of a better purchase - with no direction to what you really want. ever thought that you are trying to bargain to buy the best-est fish with $10 in your pocket when it actually costs $20?
if there's a time to work on your mental capability, it's Now.
I wont say its wrong to date a guy before committing seriously to get into a relationship with him. We all need that sorting phase and chance rite.. But of course, once gotten into a serious relationship, one should not falter to see other men behind the bf's back.. That's immoral already...
I'm wouldn't value the relationship based on morals. Its so subjective. But, its really sad and hurting if the woman is placing her interests above mine.
I need someone that is willing to place me above her own interests. Only with such a person, can I also whole-heartedly place her in my top priority. Else, I'm always needing to guard her knowing she probably having some other agenda. This is my personal 1st criteria in marriage. I can never love freely knowing I'm exploited.