Time to Move on ...

jojo28

New Member
Seriously. i hate myself for being so soft hearted and fall and fall into deeper. when every of his sms hurts and when he tell me that he has given up months ago...or he find fault wth me,every quarrel he got his own reason and find fault and make me guilty.

AM i really useless?
 


miloice

Well-Known Member
u have not moved on. in your heart, u guys haven't broke up. That's why. Close your heart, its the only way to move on. Know where you want to head and work towards that. Don't meet him, change your mobile, remove him from your msn list if needed.
 

jojo28

New Member
ya lor.. thinking back i m really silly.. haiz...

U know it really sucks... He tell me he move on already so wat i waiting for?
 

ajumma

New Member
snowy,

please move on already from this emo artist. he treats u like dirt and is manipulating u. cut off all contact with him, don't answer any of his calls, smses, msn messages.
 

infojunkie

Active Member
looks like he misses what he had run away from and doesn't know how to deal with the angst that comes with it. hopefully he's channelling his anger into creating genuine wk of art... it's called artistic expression :p

1552254.jpg

"The Scream" by Edvard Munch
 

jojo28

New Member
hI Junkie,

that is cute. really.. haha.. ya. one side of me tell me that i am really silly to entertain him, the other side tell me i should not be soft hearted n let go. whenever his sms came in, i be falling back into it... it was tiring...

Why he has to treat me this way, why come and attack my weak point. i really silly..
 

kittenpie

New Member
snowy,

how does it feel when he tells you that art is more important than you and when he plays all the mind games with you begging to patch up or telling you to go?

if it makes you feel bad about the situation and yourself, just let go.

we are not born to be a receptacle for negative feelings. we are born to experience joy. if you will only let yourself, that is.
 

infojunkie

Active Member
ok snowy, that's "cute"...

anyway dun waste ur time lah, not every couple can enjoy the kind of fiery romance like liz taylor & dick burton did... their's is the stuff of legend
1552333.gif


as for us regular joes and janes, we need to be more grounded in reality lor
happy.gif
 

jojo28

New Member
Hi May,


Yes, crying myself to sleep every day.. haiz..

yes, i wont waste time , as what powder say, i admit the mistake, close my heart n move on
 

powder

Active Member
snowy,

u know the term ä¸ç”˜æ„¿? (correct me if my characters are wrong)

alot of pple i've come across in my life... die badly this way... be it in the casino betting, over girls they lost to another guy, over work and promotions which they think they deserve... i think particularly in relationships, do i see most pple lose time n sleep over this.

è¦ç惜妳的é’春, ç惜自己. life doesn't really stop counting down becos u're going thru sh!t.... dun lose track of time. cry all out, 让心痛个够 for two weeks, then move on...
 

jojo28

New Member
Yes powder.. yes..让心痛个够

I have been painful for 2 months. I guess it is enough isnt it?

If he want to win, let him win. in the first place, he want to break, i let him break but then he come back for more finding fault with me.. i cant stand it really
 

powder

Active Member
snowy,

i was rather alarmed that u used the word "win"... but last nite somehow, i couldn't get into the website to address that.

i hope u realise that in life... u may win, but u actually lose more than that... and vice versa... win the war in life, not the battles...
 

jojo28

New Member
No la. Powdher. Dun feel alarmed. He allways say that he do nt want to lose. He want to win thus he keep making me feel bad. Maybe ib this way. He is happy but i jyst feel that it is rather childish. .

I just found he had read my blog. When i feel saf. He tend to be happy. I attnded my friend wedding last sat n yesterday. In my blog, i just wrote i have a liking to one of the brothers. That sat night he msg me saying.. Since u has someone in mind, jyst go for it. Why insist a patch back. U treat me as a fool? I so.disappointed. I ignore n go back to sleep. Next day sunday he msg just tell me the truth. Again i dont want to reply. Then afternoon 3 plus he msg. Dun uthink u are 2 much? Since u find yr true love,why do u keep msg me. Pls don do thst to me... Again no reply. Thenlast night he msg me saying. Please give me yr confirnation before i book in for ict. No reply.. Then call me. No answer. Then again. Just now he msg me. Jyst give mr wat u yhinking once i gt yr reply n that it! I no reply

why.do he behave like this. Drive mr away lso hom. Find fault w me. everything also me.. Wat else. Hr used to say hr will congrats me.!
 

powder

Active Member
perhaps he has not reconciled with himself... on the sacrifices he has to make, and the things he have to forsake... for Art.
 

jojo28

New Member
Then dun toture me ma. Keep wanting explain n expkain.. N yet cant listen. Scary. So dun reply is the best. Right
 

wat_are_dreamz

New Member
snowy: U cant control wat he does. But u have been a most silly gal. From the beginning, u didnt give urself enough time to close the chpt of ur past r/ship. At a time when u knew u were vulnerable n lacking in judgement, u allowed the guy to step into ur life. Thro'out the r/ship, u didnt put in real effort to support wat is impt to him - which is arts. After all the unhappiness, u finally saw tat u n him are not compatible. So u initiated to break up a few times, only to hang on to prolong ur pain.

After finally finally break up in end August, u still stay in contact w him n waste time explaining the past. If u want to really walk out of tis dark path, then wake up ur idea. Leave him alone n live ur own life a step at a time.

1) Delete n block him from ur msn account.
2) Stop all contact w him. His negative behaviour at tis moment will not do u or himself any gd.
3) If u have him on FB or any other social media, delete him n privatize ur settings such tat only ur frens can view n msg u.
4) Change ur hp no tis wkend n inform those frens whom u are really comf w. Use tis opportunity to clean up ur contacts list. Dun have to give him ur new no. Tell ur frens who know him not to give him ur no.
5) If he emails u, dun even bother to open the msg. Just delete it. Or even better, block his emails.

U can consider to take up a new hobby to keep urself occupied n to give urself a chance to start a new chpt in life where u learn to love urself better n to understand wat love really means. Touch base w ur frens n spend more time w ur family.
 

jojo28

New Member
Hi evon.. Yes i have been the most sily gal. My gal friends been scoldong me. Yes. Have deleted n block him in msn. I do not have fb. Do still ok. Yes. I have stop allcontact. I have nt reply him. I have change my phobr numbrr but my friends acidentiallh givr it to.him.have deleted all the email.
Yes

i have take up ukelele classes n violin. Class n waitimg fot my wedding plannet course to start. Plan to start up my own wedding planner company next year. M will be posted overseas for training in nov in my curremt job. Hopefullh by then. Everuthingis. Closed n both of us can makr a completed full stop
 

vios

New Member
for guys like him, it won't come to a complete end until you tell him to fcuk off and you do not want to hear from him again.
 

mum_of_2_girls

New Member
Hi Snowy,

I think you can learn a lot from May about how to move forward from a relationship.

I like May's attitude about life. She is so cheerful and always look forward.
I think her motto must be " Tommorow will be a better day."

May doesn't complain or whine about her EX like other girls.

I don't know why but a lot of the troubled ladies here acts as if " No Man in their Life, will die."

Have you forgotten when you were younger and single, you had also lived your life happily without a boyfriend?

Why are you letting a Man unsettle you?
Do you like roller-coaster drama everyday in your life?
 

jojo28

New Member
Yeah. I will.i no. Longer bother abt his msg. It only be a joke from the way he msg. Just as i know today he actually msg my friend and say since she is happy w her new love. I wished her all the best n i decided to go.. Isnt it a joke? All alone je the one who want to let go. Jyst kinda bad that my friend are being disturbed.anyway i cant be bothered n my friends msghim back n say thanks!
 

jojo28

New Member
Hi guys, need yr advise.. My. Ex say he wants a reunion. N an hour later he say he give up n do nt want it n start to bring up past quarreks n past issues. Is it normal? N start to push me to another guy or rather say he find fauts saying u are 2 emotional. Hw to patch? Isnt he hopless. I told him off n say i wont entertain yr sms. N yr worfs anymore. Do guys behave this way?
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
he is on a roller coaster ride. Why do you need to keep your emotion hanging onto his drama?
 

jojo28

New Member
Hi guys, need yr advise.. My. Ex say he wants a reunion. N an hour later he say he give up n do nt want it n start to bring up past quarreks n past issues. Is it normal? N start to push me to another guy or rather say he find fauts saying u are 2 emotional. Hw to patch? Isnt he hopless. I told him off n say i wont entertain yr sms. N yr worfs anymore. Do guys behave this way?
 

simpleman

Active Member
snowy,

What do you want any advice for?

You should find some time to be alone, change your phone number..

Kept saying don't entertain his messages but kept posting here.

Who are you kidding?

Why do you care how he is behaving?

It is what you want that is important.
 

ajumma

New Member
snowy,

i understand that u were in love with this guy. why not give him some time to settle his own emo issues?

if u reply his smses and entertain his stupid request to meet, and his cancellation, and all his rubbish talk, u r only encouraging him to indulge in a behaviour that u also know is wrong.

if u care for him at all, totally ignore him and let him know that what he is doing is stupid. that way, he will learn much better than if u allow him to throw u around like a ragdoll.
 

jojo28

New Member
Hi aju... Yes i will give him time to settle his own emotional iss n i m in love with him. I am thankful u are Able to understand my feelings. The feelings of his accursation, e way he find fault w me is simply too hurtful. Yes everything has it deadline. But months? When i have give up, he start calling back n msg me. When i start to reply him, he start to hurt me n bring up the past. He complain to my friends i never take the initative to like art but how could u force ppl to like? I perform dance n music n he never appreciate n went for my performance. I took the whole night n think. How much more i can waste my time n money. By sms n misinterpreting things wont go anywher
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
When you give up, GIVE UP FOR REAL. Why do you reply him since you have moved on. You are a willing party in his drama.

Close the episode.
 

serene_yam

New Member
Move on means move away! Why still linger? and let him toss you around? Unless you like such rollercoaster kind of relationship. I shan't comment then.
 

ninz

New Member
yes its time for you to move on and think about yourself.

Sometimes the cards we are dealt are not always fair. However you must keep smiling & moving on
 

jojo28

New Member
Hi nina... Thanks. Yes. Have move on. The last i heard is he is attaches n has another girl who shares the same interest.n the reason he used? Because he say i gt another new love n i do nt love him only procession.. So he make e decision to step into another rs.

Anyway i have enough he treaten to call my mum n tell her everything wgich i dun mind. The more my mum should know... So wat i did is i call his mum n chat n tell her everything. Her mum was shocked n even surprisee by his thinking n even worst her mum ask me why i didnt advise him. I say i did bt he fine faults. Any way.. His mum was angry n tell me.. Joey i advise u to leave my son. From e way he treat u u dun deserve n i has never been angry w u. Wat my son did n say is all his doing n said to say.. He didnt communicate w me at all...

Don bother n be happym. Hearing this i m happy n that i gt his mum support n finally find the answer in my heart. I nt entirely at fault n here i wish him all the best.
 

Randy09

New Member
Hi all, Would like to seek opinion.I know that many people would tell me to give up, move on , and in fact i am trying to do my best.

The things are.. Me n my bf meet one year ago, he came into the picture right after i broke up with my ex. I was sad and he was the one giving me moral support that time . Soon after he express his interest in him, and i decided to give him a chance and try this relationship.

Everything was fine in the past, and we discovered we have many differences? I would say differences or rather say communication break down?

I am some one when problems arises, i would want to solve and close and move to the next step.. I know that i am processive and suspicion by nature but i am trying to change that. When i told him, he should accept me and minimise the suspicisiou by communicating with him.. But he? he is the type who run and hide.. he think that when problem arises, don thik and problems will go away. and he is very stubborn .the more u ask to clear the doubts, the more he refused to say..

Many time, i mentioned that we are not suitable, he will pull me back and until one day, he start to take back all his words and hurt me .
He never want to talk on the phone. Phone call to him was unanswered, sms to him no reply, and wat he want , is only msn. He say through msn, he can read and think at the same time.. n i the one who is so unrelunctanly to on my pc after work especially after a tedious day at work.

We have not meet for one month, I remember during the past quarrel, We have not meet and we mention break up. and he wanted to meet as a friend and i think i not ready as a friend. He can say he regret meeting me , he regret having to call me, he regret having xxx with me the very next day.. i was torn apart and devasted.

The incident came about, when we have some difference in art, he was so into art and he treat it as his career. he is into culture and he wanted to be a well owned artist. He is stubborn in his thinking. When i told him, if in future, if he was to be a full time artist, drawing at home, waiting for ppl to buy art, i cant possible support the whole family. he get frustrated and say i look down on him, thinking he is someone who feed on woman
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Many time, there are many conversation which i think we have solve, he understand my reason but months,later, he will bring up and quarrel again..

he is very passionate into arts and finally yesterday he told me , he accused me that he cant accept girl who hate art while he love art, i told him, i am ok with art , but i hate art cos this is always the topic of why we are quarreling.. He used to say art is important than me, he choose art. by the way, he has a full time job and on weekedn, he go for his art class, i would admit his art was good and he join in some art socitey..

Things came to an hault after quarreling for months. Until national day that week, he ask me, u really do not want to patch back? he been playing with my emotional stress again and again, till in msn , he can bring up vulgarites.

so lst week, i go to kl alone, shop, sort out my thoughts, He called and ask me to come back to singapore. It been barely a week.. and

Last 2 days, he sms me to leave him alone, he hate me, i not the girl he want, if he is with me, he cant reach his artistic goal. yesterday , in msn, he bring up past quarrel, and accused me, say he hate me , and bring up things which has been solveed and tell me not to contact him and move on. he even beg me to let him go and say he has no more feelings, and say since no more feeling, why should we meet. I was shocked. it was only last week, he wanted to meet me, and now i am back , he say i wanted to meet as friend, i never want to ask for patch back..

What should i do now?

You need to stay strong with your life,learn to let go and move on,I'm sure,along the way,someone will find his way to stay in your heart,till end of your wonderful lifetime
 

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