Thoughts please?


New Member
Hi everyone, I wanted to get your inputs on a scenario, please. It may be a small thing but I would like to hear from people here.

TLDR: My boyfriend (22M) had an exchange in another country so we had a long distance relationship for half a year.

Overseas, he met a group of locals who also went on exchange there and he had a better relationship with one of the girl (22F). They text pretty often and have meals such as lunch and dinner together with other locals which is a group of 5-8.

I went through their chats and here are some of the ones that I’m personally uncomfortable with. My bf will text her stuff like “不要赌发脾气”, “小妹妹jiayan”. He’ll call her “乖” over texts a couple of times. She’ll text him asking him to tell her stories when she’s bored, she asked him if she’s his favourite out of the whole group of 8. They both like to tease one another about other people who flirts with them or may like them. They discussed about baseline which I’ve learnt is their way of saying who meets their minimum rating because some other guys who flirt with her is below her baseline.

I noticed in the chats they talked about his parents flying over to visit him in that exchange country but nothing was mentioned when I flew over to visit him. It’s as if I’m a ghost and any mention of me may sour their chats.

Thoughts on this please? I strongly believe both of them have low morals, they like the attention because of their insecurity. One is attached yet talks like that to another girl just because she’s lonely and wants male attention. Another knows he’s an attached men but she prefers getting someone attached so it’s like she’s ‘winning’.


Active Member
TS, the context here seems to be about overseas student exchange program since the mentioned are in the early 20s with parents visiting them . Correct me if i am wrong. So how do you feel looking thru his chat history ? déjà vu ? was that how you two started too? obviously he is flirting behind your back, with the intent to score or not, nobody knows. but it's certainly better to see it now then after you are married to him.
" I strongly believe both of them have low morals, they like the attention because of their insecurity. " Why would you choose to be with someone whom you think so lowly of? Insecurity? Honestly, you come across as one too, not without a cause tho. Be affirmative, tell your BF firmly you have an issue with his behavior, why you felt this way and how he can ease your nerves. If he chooses to dismiss your concerns, he's not going to be ideal as your lifetime partner. Such overseas stints will be frequent especially if he holds a regional role in his future job whereas you cant be short change emotionally on a long-term basis. The right fit is very important. At this age, all of you have choices, open your eyes, feel with your heart, choose wisely.


New Member
I understand you’re feeling uncomfortable with your boyfriend’s interactions with this girl. It’s important to talk to him honestly about how you feel and set clear boundaries. Reflect on whether he respects your feelings and if you trust him. If necessary, you can calmly express your discomfort to the girl, but prioritise your well-being and ensure your concerns are respected.