Teochew customs

blur

New Member
Hi!

A bit confused about something and don't want to risk asking my Teochew in laws in case they get ideas that i didn't want them to have in the first place.

They insist that I leave my place my 7 a.m. in the morning to go to their place for the tea ceremony. Would I have to wear a veil there?

As I would be having a Christian ceremony later in the afternoon, i would not want to wear my veil so early. Rather leave it for later.

Do you think my in laws will take offence that I arrive at their place without a veil?
 


blee

New Member
Hi Blur,

Will u be wearing kwa? U can wear kwa in the morning and have the tea ceremony then change to your wedding gown and veil in the afternoon. That way, you will have 'excuse' not to wear veil in the morning. Just a suggestion.
 

joyce

New Member
I will be marrying a teochew in dec. well.. i think the main thing is that i have to leave my place b4 dawn breaks.. bride cannot see light of day idea:)

then the guys side have to send dowry

the gals side have to give the guys side a small hongbao and some pigs leg , oranges , something like that, forgive my vagueness.. as i'm, really quite clueless
 

joyce

New Member
anyway blur=joyce..

who is glad to announce that MIL does not intend for me to wear bridal gown in the morning for tea ceremony .. so lucky of me rite?
 
U

urgent

Guest
Hi everyone out there

just wondering, as regards to the number of tables for the wedding banquet, may i know is it given by the groom or requested by the bride's parents?
 

joyce

New Member
requested by the bride's parents (as in ow many they want) . I think its being considered generous on the groom's side to give bride's side a say in the number of tables they want. Generally is 10- 12 tables i think.
 

blee

New Member
Hi urgent,

Actually, I think it is both way. The bride's parents can request n the groom's parents will see whether they can meet the requirements. Alternatively, the groom's parents can offer a number of tables n the bride's parents will see whether that is enough.
 

cleo

New Member
Hi everyone,

Our parents would be meeting up soon & I need to know what are the usual stuff (besides the four piece jewellery& pin jing) a teochew family requests for from the groom's family.

Also, how much is usually asked for the "pin jing"??? My mum said in the old days it is 24 red packets with $24 in each.

Thanks in advance
 

furla

New Member
may i know if bride is teochew, does she need to leave house before dawn breaks? I'm so frustrated having to argue my way out with my mom that there is no need to leave the house so early and as I don't like to make up in the wee hours and sleep so little, I want to defy traditions by waking up at 7 am to makeup and my groom to pick me up at 9 am. How abt that? why trouble your entourage and relatives to follow those customs.
 
T

teochews girl

Guest
Hi all,

I'm a teochew's girl who just got married early this year. For me I left my house before 5.45a.m.

I woke up at 1.45a.m to let my mum comb my hair(symbolise long lasting married) after that I continue to sleep and woke up at 3a.m to have a shower and take my beakfast. My makeup artiste reached my place at 4a.m. and my hb fetch me at 5.30a.m.

Althought it was early but we were very happy cos we were excited to see each other(not allow to meet the day b4 wedding) and also can please the elders. Furthermore, We spend so much time on the preparation and our wedding is only one day so wake up early can let our wedding day last longer.
 
O

ohno

Guest
Hi Furla

I'm a teochew but I leave the house according to the auspicious time frame stated by the chinese almanac. Think will also depend on your birth dates... something like that.
 

angelia

New Member
<FONT COLOR="aa00aa">furla,</FONT>
me oso teochew, &amp; like <FONT COLOR="ff6000">ohno,</FONT> will leave the house according to the auspicious time frame i{(mine's selected by the "shifu")}.. so it's between 7am - 9am..
 
O

ohno

Guest
Hi Angelia

my time same as u, between 7am to 9am. But have to reach groom's place before 9am, if not, have to wait till 11am. What time did u book your make-up artist?
 

furla

New Member
that means 7-9 am should be on the OK side, right? It is just beyond me to wake up at 1.45 am like teochew girl and hv my makeup done at 4 am. Also, I need to see my hubby the nite before, else will miss him!

must i further calculate the 'shi chen' (time) if I already calculated my wedding date, based on our 'ba zi'?
 
O

ohno

Guest
Hi Furla

That's the auspicious time frame, which also called 'shi chen', that me and Angelia were talking abt. Not all couples will have the same time, it will depend on your wedding date and your birthdates too.
 

shirsweetiepie

New Member
I am a Teochew, whereas my FH is a hakka.

So will there be any crashes in the dialect cultures etc? Meanwhile, in the above case, do we follow the bride or the groom?
happy.gif
 

angelia

New Member
<FONT COLOR="aa00aa">ohno,</FONT>
i hvn't told my makeup artist yet. cos hvn't decide what time to leave hse.. prob will ask her to come around 6-6:30am lor.

my mum's place to hubby's place only 15 mins ride..
 
O

ohno

Guest
Hi Shirseetiepie

I think the 'guo da li' stuff have to follow the bride. My mum said she's fine with whatever items they give but teochew biscuits must be in the list.

Hi Angelia

Lucky for u, my mum's place is at Woodlands and my hubby's parents staying in Bedok. That will be abt 30 mins ride excluding traffic congestion. I've asked my make-up artist to turn up at 5.30am, have to pay extra $$$.
 

angelia

New Member
<FONT COLOR="aa00aa">ohno,</FONT>
guess mine oso.. before 7am, need to pay extra.. think it's $30 per hour (or half an hour) i forgot liao..
 

teri

New Member
Hi.
Anyone know much abt Teochew customs?
What to ask for from groom?
What's bang tan etc?
Etc Etc Etc.....

Thks
 
K

kk

Guest
there's a event going on at the national musemum about teochew customs. u might wanna check it out
 

orchid

New Member
Hi Teri,

We did ours teochew style.

Groom's side give Bride:
a. 'Si Dian Jin' - bride keep
b. Ang Baos
- 1 for dowry (bride's mom take some return the rest)
- 1 for bringing up the bride (bride's mom keep everything)
- 1 to symbolise whatever that was left out by oversight (bride's mom take some return the rest)
c. Oranges (bride's mom take some return the rest)
d. Cakes (enough for bride's relatives &amp; a few extra boxes to be returned to groom)
d. 2 bottles Liquor, 2 bottles orange squash (if your mom wants) - bride's mom keep
d. Peanut candy - bride's mom take some, return the rest
e. 1 stalk of 'xiang chow' - some leafy plant thing
f. Grandma cake (lao mah go) - if you have grandma and she wants it (return some to groom. for the rest, place 2 pieces in 1 box of cake for relatives. if you have lao mah go, your grandma must give the groom an ang bao)
g. dinner tables (ang bao from dinner tables of bride's side goes to bride's mom)

Bride's side give Groom:

a. Ang Baos (groom keep)
- 1 for education of grandchildren
- 1 for birthdays (i.e. symbolise that groom must celebrate bride's parents birthdays forever)
- 1 for property
b. Grandma cake (lao ma go) - if groom has grandma and she wants it
c. pair of lamps (for bride's new home)
d. wash basin and towel (for the really traditional)
e. set of bedsheets (for bride's new home)
f. pyjamas for groom (if he wants)
f. 1 stalk of "ang hue" - promagranate plant
 

binbin

New Member
hi orchid, wow it's real informative. i am a teochew and my FH is hokkien. does the above apply to us or only for both teochews huh? if bride is teochew do we only do the bride's part?
 

orchid

New Member
Hi pinkapple &amp; binbin,

We're both not teochews, but both our moms are. our dads have no clue on the traditional wedding stuff. and since both our surviving grandmas are teochews, we did it the teochew style.

my dad is a cantonese &amp; my fil is hokkien. the only cantonese thing was that we had 'roast pig' - not even the real roast pig, but the ang bao that had 'roast pig' written on it to symbolise the pig. aaahahah...
happy.gif


the museum also has an exhibition on weddings in Singapore and their traditions. the national museum is free on fridays from 6-9pm.
 

zzz

New Member
I visited the teochew custom exhibition a few weeks ago, quite disappointing ... very few exibits on Teochew wedding customs. Instead, I find the exhibition which features weddings of different races more interesting.

Personally, I find Orchid's list more useful.
 

teri

New Member
Hi.
Wow i always know we teochews have lost of marriage customs but never expect such traditions.

Orchid, i appreciate your info greatly!
Will ask you for help as nearer the day to exchange gifts.

BTW, when is a gd time for parents of both side to meet to discuss this? How many mths ahead of actual day?

When is the day to do such gifts exchange? a mth before wedding or what?

I have not asked my elders ( parents/ grandparents ) yet. Just want to know to do some time planning/ mgt on my side.

Thks everyone!

Cheers
 

orchid

New Member
Hi Teri,

Our parents met shortly after we decided to get married - i think abt a year before the actual day. We thought it would be good if they met first. During the meeting, my MIL brought along the list of stuff that my Sister-In-Law exchanged when she got married (abt 2 yrs before us). she had an even longer list! so that's quite easy for us. just cut whatever we didn't want.

We confirmed the list about 1 mth before the actual wedding date &amp; did the guo da li 1 wk before the actual day (1st saturday after 7th mth). ordered the stuff 2 wks before guo da li. actually, i think it would be better if it was 2 wks before the wedding date.
 

loveluis

New Member
Me too... teochew gal...
I jus had my guo da li 2 weeks back...

si dian jin
2 bottles of hard liquor
2 angpow (1 angpow the amount is stated by my mother another angpow upto my mil to give)
24 oranges

I think it really depends on your mum as to what she wants for the guo da li...
mine should be the simplified version :p
 

coven

New Member
err ... i'm a teochew gal however, we arent strictly following all the customs since my mum said so! :D so i can only share what i'll be doing for mine

for the GDL, the following items:
1) dozen oranges
2) pinjin
3) ang bao instead of a spitton (something to do with appreciation for bringing up the bride)
5) 1 pair of dragon candles
6) 2 bottle of hard liquor
7) SDJ
8) cans of pig trotters
9) teochew biscuits instead of cakes

to keep all:
1) SDJ
2) ang bao for spitton
3) cans of pig trotters

to return some back to groom's:
1) pinjin
2) 2 bottles of oranges in exchg of the hard liquor
3) oranges
4) 1 phoenix candle in exchg of the dragon candle
5) teochew biscuits. usually they will take back a few boxes.

the number of pig trotters and teochew biscuits will be given by the bride's side to the bride's relatives so the amt for both shld be abt the same except abit more on the biscuits. we dont want cakes as biscuits are more lasting to keep.

hope my sharing helps!
happy.gif
 

poshies

New Member
hi gals,
i had just completed my wedding... i'm teochew.. .but don know very sure whether is mine the complete correect one..

i know that we need to have 4 dian jin, and some other stuff... (which need to find out from my mother)

what actually info u need to know ? just the guo da li? then i can find out for u
 

sweetpea

New Member
Hi me teochew bride too

Just to ask..do u think it is ok to ask for white gold for the Si Dian Jin instead of yellow gold?
 

coven

New Member
hi sweet pea,
u can only hint to ur FMIL on ur preference but the ultimate decision is still hers lor. if she's not of teochew dialect, she will not be happy if the FDIL already started insisting things to be done her way.
 

ade75

New Member
yo,

i'm a teochew bride to be too!!
may i noe where to get the Teochew biscuits?
i stay at the east side ...
 

angelia_lim

New Member
Hi

Do we actually need to buy things like red dates, bai he, lotus seed etc for groom side? And does groom side need to buy rock sugar and melon sugar for the bride side?? Need advice???
 

poshies

New Member
Hi Angelia,
Sorry currently not staying with mother n she bought all the guo da li stuff herself... so need to check up with her tonight when i go back for dinner... will keep u posted if anything Coven had left out....

Yyp I just got married, my AD photographer u mean? I had use Kalydescope.. pretty good... very flexible u might want to take a look...
 


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