Tea Ceremony Queries

pinpong

New Member
Hi Msclaire

For my case, when HB picked me from my parents' plc. I was wearing d WG.
Served tea to my parents; den proceed to HB's parents plc; served tea to IL & HB's relatives; after dat return to our lovenest; changed into Kua; returned to my parents' plc with d roasted pig; at my parents' plc served tea to my relatives & makan a bit bit
 


kitty_princess

New Member
i'm having AD and ROM together next year. For my case very simple, morning HTB will fetch me from my house then straight away proceed to hotel for solemnization. Because we are holding lunch banquet so immediately after solemnization we will have the tea ceremony before the start of cocktail reception. like that save time
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roomfulofstars

New Member
Did anyone leave home IN the tea dress? Like wear the same dress for PIL tea ceremony and then go home to parents in the same dress too?

I want to make the wedding gown entrance at church lah...
 

jadeite

New Member
My brother is getting married in June and I'm getting married in Sept, and this is what my mother suggested cuz the inlaws are quite sui bian. Both sides are Christian. We will be having the church wedding first, then return to the guy's side to serve tea. Either will wear gown and suit, or will change to tea dress. My brother+wife will serve tea to my grandma, followed by my parents. Then, they will go back to the girl's side and serve tea to wife's grandparents + parents. After that, supposed to change out of the ceremonial wear into home clothes to symbolize leaving the households, and then go to the lovenest to carry wife over the threshold. Only close friends eg best man and bridesmaids to be present...as well as any relatives that choose to join in. That's all
happy.gif
Hope it's helpful for those who are having church service, though I'm not too sure of reasons etc
 

calumon81

New Member
Found some infor on wedding tea ceremony:

Source: http://www.chcp.org/wed2.html

Significance of the Tea:

Tea is probably used because it is China’s national drink and serving it is a sign of respect. Using tea is practical because not everyone can drink alcohol.

Lotus seeds and two red dates are used in the tea for two reasons. First, the words “lotus” and “year,” “seed” and “child,” and “date” and “early,” are homophones, i.e. they have the same sound but different meanings in Chinese. Secondly, the ancient Chinese believed that putting these items in the tea would help the newlyweds produce children early in their marriage and every year, which would ensure many grandchildren for their parents. Also, the sweetness of the special tea is a wish for sweet relations between the bride and her new family.

Serving the Tea:

On the wedding day, the bride serves tea (holding the teacup with both hands) to her parents at home before the groom arrives. She does this out of respect and to thank her parents for raising her. The tea at this time does not need to have the lotus seeds or dates, and the bride does not need the assistance of a “lucky woman.” She pours and serves the tea by herself without the groom.

Traditionally, after the wedding ceremony, the newlyweds serve tea (holding the teacups with both hands), inviting the groom’s elders to drink tea by addressing them by formal title, e.g. first uncle or third aunt.

The general rule is to have the woman on the left side and the man on the right side. The people being served will sit in chairs, while the bride and groom kneel. For example, when the newlyweds serve tea to the groom’s parents, the bride would kneel in front of her father-in-law, while the groom would kneels in front of his mother.

The newlyweds serve tea in order, starting with the groom’s parents then proceeding from the oldest family members to the youngest, e.g. the groom’s parents, then his paternal grandparents, then his maternal grandparents, then his oldest uncles and aunts, and all the way to his older brother.

In return, the newlyweds receive lucky red envelopes (“lai see,” which means “lucky”) stuffed with money or jewelry. The helpers, who are usually women blessed with a happy marriage or wealth and chosen by the fortune teller or bride’s mother, also get lucky red envelopes stuffed with money from those being served. These envelopes are placed on the platter which holds the teacups.
 

orangestar

New Member
hi all.. i'm a teochew marrying a hokkien.. 1 question I have here:

My mum told me that after the tea ceremony at my hse, i will need to give red pkts to my elder sister (who's not yet married), my grandmother and the all the children..

Q1: What is the rationale behind this (giving red pkt to my sis & grandma)?? My thinking is that we will be considered married and so irregardless of age or seniority, I will have to give those who are present there red pkt as long as he/she is still single.. Am I right?
Apparently hubby doesnt accept this as he hasnt seen this being practised in other weddings which he attended..

Q2: Is this a teochew tradition or its up to individuals?

Thanks!
 

charlene05

New Member
hi all,

For the tea ceremony, what's the procedure supposed to be like?? Cos now i have conflicting views... my mum said that the bride and groom should "jing" cha to them first before gg over to the groom's hse for the 2nd round of tea ceremony.

However, my future MIL mentioned that the groom's side should be served first... How should the actual procedure be like?

I dun wan to displease both sides..=(
 

babytazz

New Member
lene, it's serve groom side first then go back to bride side to serve tea. you may arrange for a short photo shoot session outside if you want to in between.
 

alvin_lee

Member
Tea ceremony should always be done at the groom's side 1st. For the simple reason that the act of a groom coming to fetch the bride home is to marry her into his family. The bride will need to acknowledge her new in-laws immediately (via serving tea).

Reversing the order will kinda mean that the groom is marrying into the bride's family.

Here's are some general tips for tea ceremony.
http://********************.com/wordpress/2010/11/08/ways-to-speed-up-your-wedding-tea-ceremony/
 

azncutiegal

New Member
Hi there

My AD is in Sept.. and I am having headache about the whole tea ceremony thing... my mom insisted like most of you, that we should serve to them first as a sign of "thank you for raising me etc" and then to the groom's parents... however, my FH felt it should be the other way around.. to show respect to his family and that i'm marrying into their family... what to do???? i will be marrying off from the Hotel...

Thanks in advance.
 

sm85

New Member
Hi, I am urgently looking to hire someone to coordinate my tea ceremony i.e guide my relatives through the procedures and customs for an hour or two.

Does anyone know of someone I can contact? I feel that an outsider to direct the whole thing is more neutral and both our sides aren't familiar with the tea ceremony procedures.


Thanks!
 

fishoutofwater

New Member
hi, if tea ceremony is going be held at our matrimonial home, how will it go then? bride serve tea to her own parents 1st at her own home? then go to our matrimonial home to serve tea?

order of serving tea like that correct:

1) groom's parents (for my case only mother, but still put another tea cup for my deceased father)
2) bride's parents
3) bride's grandmother (my FIL's mother)
4) rest of relatives in order of ranking?

pls advise, thanks
 

fishoutofwater

New Member
repost for help again pls.

hi, if tea ceremony is going be held at our matrimonial home, how will it go then? bride serve tea to her own parents 1st at her own home? then go to our matrimonial home to serve tea?

order of serving tea like that correct:

1) groom's parents (for my case only mother, but still put another tea cup for my deceased father)
2) bride's parents
3) bride's grandmother (my FIL's mother)
4) rest of relatives in order of ranking?

pls advise, thanks
 

smilem

New Member
Hi Fish

Tea cermony normal served the groom's parents 1st.
For me - i went over to our matrimonial home and serve tea to his mum (same as your case oli mother). we put 1 chair beside and 1 pail (for us to pour teat into the pail)

The rest of the relatives in ranking.

happy.gif
Hope my info is helpful to you.
 

fishnowater

New Member
hi smilem, thanks for reply. acct got suspended. itchy finger went to change pw then can't key in activation code. btw, when u mean relatives in ranking....

so in this case should it be bride's parents 1st or grandparents 1st?
 

Starzberry

New Member
Hi all! Need some advice..

Has any bride done their tea ceremony in Kua dress for both side of the families at the hotel before the banquet? I wonder if this is common nowadays?

Thanks in advance!
 

listojunio

New Member
Hi all! Need some advice..

Has any bride done their tea ceremony in Kua dress for both side of the families at the hotel before the banquet? I wonder if this is common nowadays?

Thanks in advance!

My cousin did it last year and I'm going to do the same for my wedding in Feb!

It depends on your timeline and also communicate it with yr parents and especially in-laws if they are ok with it.
 

Starzberry

New Member
My cousin did it last year and I'm going to do the same for my wedding in Feb!

It depends on your timeline and also communicate it with yr parents and especially in-laws if they are ok with it.

Thanks Listojunio! Glad to know that Im not the only one thinking of doing the same. Haha. Congrats to u!! =)
 

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