ChinLeng,
I am not sure what exactly you mean by
"Only through her posting, that I learn that hearing will only be granted on the 6th week of filing and divorce will only be made absolute 3-4 months after the hearing. Prior to this, I have absolutely no idea on the divorce procedure, do you?"
if you mean that you did not know the procedures of divorce before sad mentioned it, (and you are right, I did not either), and therefore it is reasonable that sad did not either, but neither of us, I hope, are in the same situation. All I am trying to say is that if someone is in a relationship and intends to get married, but is already legally married to someone else, surely that is the 1st thing to settle - the divorce (and should therefore be aware of divorce procedings), rather than marriage plans. That is the sensible thing to do.
You are right. I should have been less harsh. I had a shitty day, but I guess that is not an excuse. But I still stand by my opinion that she created this situation for herself by not being very sensible in the first place.
In my job, I see a lot of divorce cases, and you'd be surprised at how many people get themselves in similar situations as sad is in now, because they do not think of the consequences until it is too late.
I am not trying to add pain to her situation, although I know that you all think that I am. I just think that sometimes, sympathy does not help, because some people (in general, not talking about sad particularly) want sympathy all the time, but do not see that what they have done is wrong, and do not take responsibility for their actions, and when they find themselves in a fix, they expect others to help them find a way out, but never once stop to think of how they got themselves in such a situation, choosing to blame others and life in general. I just think that it might help society in general if people are given a good talking to - even if it may be unpleasant, so that they realise the what they are doing, and take responsibility for it.
I don't think she has a choice, anyway, as JoJo says, ROM will probably reject her application when she applies anyway, since she will still be married at the time of her application to be married in Dec 2001.
"For Divorcee : Original or certified true copy of the Decree Nisi Absolute will also be required. " - from the ROM website.
This is just something I feel strongly about. I had thought that this was a place I could voice my opinion, but I guess not. Not even after I acknowledge that I should have been kinder in how I said it, my opinion is viewed to be a judgement. When it is said that "Wah, shouldn't have made such comments." is that not a judgement as well? How come I am not allowed to judge others, but it is fine for you to judge me?
Sad, I have thought this through, and like the others, the only thing constructive I can advice (let it not be said that I only criticise but do not offer help) is to talk to your lawyer. The only other thing I can think of is to hold your ROM and your customary on the same day - that should give you more time to play with. And if you hold your solemnisation somewhere else other than ROM itself (with a JP or grassroots leader), you do not have to apply 3 months beforehand - just the minimum 21 days will do, providing you find someone who is available on that date. My advice is to look for a JP / grassroot leader 1st and book them for the day, before you apply for a notice of marriage at ROM.
However, I still urge you to think carefully about what you are doing, now and in the future.
Good Luck.
To the rest,
I apologise for that way I said things, but do not apologise what I have to say.
I guess you all prefer that everyone be supportive rather than give honest, heartfelt opinions that might be unpleasant, but might be more constructive in the longrun. That being the case, I don't think I am the right person to be a part of this community, nor that this is the right community for me.
Good bye.
