For the first time, I feel relieved that there's someone who emphatize what i'm going thru.
My ILs are quite similar to urs. They like to hav a hand in all our daily affairs. Otherwise MIL will criticize non-stop and belittle our judgement, even if its just a minor daily affair. Her typical line " y u dun consult me first? Aiyo, see wht mess u r in now?" Frankly speaking, it wasnt a WRONG decision. Its just that she doesn't like our choice, thats it. But its not her rights to poke her nose in every single damn thing we do.
I dun blame anyone cox this is how my hubby was brought up. Since young, he involves his parents in ALL decision making. Now that we're married, MIL still expects the same from hubby.
I'm quite a relax person. Initially, MIL and I get on well because i close both eyes. I let her make the decisions. But the final straw was when she interferes with my job affair. My job is my first love and also my rice bowl. I'll not tolerate her on this!
Because of this she's very angry. ANd MIL nag hubby everyday for being useless , for causing disharmony in the family (actually she started it first, and now she push the guilt to hubby). SHe also blame hubby for being useless because she spent almost a million in his educaction overseas and now he is "scared" of me. What a joke. Hubby and I hav equal social standing in society.
Wht she is doing now is creating a wedge btwn me and my hubby.
Hubby initially is on my side. But due to tremendous pressure from family (MIL forms ally with SIL and BIL, told them tht I BULLY and DISRESPECT her), hubby is stressed now. Sibblings phoned hubby frequently to advise hubby not to make MIL angry. MIL claimed she is heartbroken and having insomnia cox hubby is not filial. OMG
Hubby is upset with me now (he starts to blame me now, though he wasn't initially), wants me to reconcile. Hubby told me to giv them face and be respectful to elderly. I told hubby i can give in again and apologise (although i'm not wrong) But the main prob is NOT solved. This is NOT going to be the last time. ILs wun change and i'll be harrassed again and again in future.
Why do i need to go thru all these? MIL claims tht i married INTO her family, hence gotta be a dutiful DIL. Wht a joke. I married her son, and NOT her family. I've tried to blend into his family because i know marriage is not just betwn both of us. But hubby's family is too difficult to get along with. Its burning up my time and energy, not to mention tht i got a demanding job to handle
hubby negotiated with ILs. Told MIL wht she is doin now will affect our marriage, which is not strong yet. We may file a divorce. SHe said she dun care. Hubby is a very gentle and soft hearted man. Hubby tried many ways but MIL insists on me to meet up with her to "do somthing" to solve this issue.
Hubby and I very close. It breaks my heart to see him trapped in btwn. But I cant help him. It breaks his heart too cos I'm not happy
U know wht the prob is. Hubby is very very filial. ANd he's a mama's boy. THts the main prob.
But after all hubby's mom brought him up. I dun wan to creat bad karma for breaking up mother-son bond.
Hence, i've no choice but to also let go hubby (i'm still deciding, pros and cons..)