Something is wrong with partner

[pattywong]

Hi all, i have some issue with my partner. we have been together for nearly 1 year. And he is hiding many issues from me, which i dont know y.
problems are:
- didnt come clean abt his divorces when we gt tgt.
- didnt come clean abt previous r/s and tings gt a bit bad as i became a 3rd party out of nowhere
- he's in some kind of debts and got loans from bank secretly
- nt fully divorced onli separated

everythng seems to be kept as a secret.
i was not suppose to know naything of these, bt somehw i know.

Is there something wrong with him?

 

[margret]

nothing wrong, just another big liar.

 

[infojunkie]

bad enuf to make me think twice abt the relationship...

 

[matka]

Spells Trouble with a capital T.

Make that complete uppercase, and throw in some exclamation marks

 

[pattywong]

despite all the flaws, he treats mi very nice. like some1 i can depend on 4 the rest of my life. its just these issues that bothers me much.

 

[pattywong]

n recently he took up some loan from banks w/o telling mi y. it seems he has credit card issues. always paying e minimum onli. but y doesnt he want 2 tell mi?

 

[ckgal]

he is trying to 'sell' the perfect side of him to u

 

[pattywong]

might be. but wads the purpose of doin tat?

 

[matka]

Hi Patty

As much as you'd like to justify it... ask yourself: Can you trust and depend on a person who's built a relationship on a foundation of lies and deceit?

 

[powder]

"like some1 i can depend on 4 the rest of my life"

- "hiding many issues from me"
- "didnt come clean abt his divorces"
- "in some kind of debts and got loans from bank secretly"
- "nt fully divorced onli separated"
- "everythng seems to be kept as a secret."
- "seems he has credit card issues. always paying e minimum onli."


basically i dun think u mind abt his dependability... u're more keen on him Telling u wat's going on.

wait for him to borrow money from u, not return, disappear... then u'll have a clearer picture.

 

[infojunkie]

"n recently he took up some loan from banks w/o telling mi y. it seems he has credit card issues. always paying e minimum onli. but y doesnt he want 2 tell mi?"

cos he thinks patty is petty and to prove thim otherwise, u should chip in some money to help him with his cc bills...

since he's so nice...

well nice enough for u to depend on for the rest of ur life

 

[ckgal]

other then those lies? How u treated u well?
buying things for u? paying when u goes out with him?

 

[pattywong]

this is the norm 4 guys 2 do tat. beside this, we did mani tings tgt. n even stay tgt.

 

[margret]

he is waiting till u find out too late then u have no way to leave him.

 

[scopefun]

There is nothing wrong. Girls like bad boys. LOL~

 

[miloice]

Are you waiting for some stranger to tell you he is good for you?

 

[serene_yam]

Okie, stranger here, he likes you. You like him? Give him money, he will like you even better. Just tell him, if only you tell me earlier, I would have helped you earlier!

Oh well, your take, want to help or not, so that he shows he likes you more?

Brother Powder has highlighted pretty much for you.

 

[arsenal_84]

his track record is not pretty if you like him so much, good luck.

 

[scopefun]

It's not about track record. It's really about will you and him be together and how much you love him.

Love is not employment. Who doesn't want to meet someone who only love you and only you and got house got car and happily ever after?

But in reality, no one is perfect. The issue is still how you assess the man and how your feeling for him is. If he does love you, he might have incompatible partners before, but that doesn't mean you won't get together and fit well.

Conversely is also true that even if he has no track record doesn't mean you will fit at all!

So ignore track record and go with your feel. If you think he is the One, then sex after marriage. Or if you like sex with him, no one can stop you and say it's wrong. It's at least enjoyable. LOL~

See? Good or not, it's really about fate.

 

[inloveandwar]

Better cut loss fast and dump him. If he truly loves you, he will tell you the last 2 factors. The first 2 factors aren't important. If not, u will put yourself at risk for greater pain and betrayal later. If you don't feel right about the relationship means he is not right for you.

 

[tomasulu]

Track records are important. Historical data is about the only thing we can have a basis to predict future performance. Having said that, what he has done is not something that calls for an immediate break up. A divorce takes time and he may fear losing you. Or he may have felt that you weren't close enough to be let in on his personal affairs. More importantly you should consider when he told you and how truthful he was when he let you know about his past. similarly for his financial situation.

 

[miloice]

no doubt, it is important but not the only thing we have. Our intuition is also important. We don't just base our decisions on data alone. When we want something bad enough, we will find reasons to justify it.

 

[soisuka]

Actually one year is not that long la, since ur only dating and not planning more, maybe he feels it isn't something he needs to disclose. You can tell him you prefer if he would be more open about things and see if he's willing to be honest and open about his 'secrets' from now on. If he chooses his secrets over an honest Rs with you, then I would suggest you find another.