Some advice needed for divoice

susangoh

New Member
We have got married for 5.5 years and have a 4-year old daughter. We bot and moved to a condo with my parents and sis 6 years ago. The condo is fully paid up now and shared among our family members (my parents, sis and I). He is a PR, and stays with us all these years.

Our relationship turns sour two years ago mainly because of money issue. I also started to suspect he's seeing someone outside, simply because I don't know what and how much he spended and he always come home late. Anyway we always quarrel, and I feel I cannot trust this guy. He is getting more and more irritating nowadays. There are no more fun and laughs we used to have. So what is the point of being together and maintaining the marrige?

My biggest concern is my daughter. It becomes a very difficult decision whether or not I should divoice him. If I do, apart from the lawyer fee and custody of the child,
1. will he get a share of my family's condo for staying so long there?
2. can I request alimony from him even though I earn more than him and I believe all he has are some cash and cpf?
3. Must he pay for the child education?

Please help. Many thanks.
 


powder

Active Member
1. if u rent n stay in a condo for 7yrs, will that condo become yours? if u rent your sister's condo n stay there for 7yrs, is it yours? in some countries there is such a 'right' for occupants whether lawful or unlawful to lay ownership claims to spaces that they have occupied over a certain period, but i'm pretty sure spore is not in that list.

2. yes u can.

3. yes, but of cos if u deny him his rights to continue his role as a father, then u should not be expecting this rite?
 

susangoh

New Member
1. Is it true that our own asset will not be shared between us? i.e. My share of the condo (25%) will not be shared between him and me.
 

yoongf

Member
Who are the legal owners of the condo? Did he contribute any $ towards financing the condo? If his name is not in the title, and he did contribute some $, then at most is he can fight for the $ contribution he had paid.

When u say your share is 25%, is the title under tenancy in common or joint tenancy?
 

clipperjunk

New Member
it should not matter under what type of ownership contract as this is not an inheritance issue...local laws tend to favour mothers...if you can afford your child alone, strike a deal with him without his support and that he gives up claim of custody.....
 

susangoh

New Member
The legal owners are my parents, my sis, and me. He did not finance the condo. Since I am co-own the condo with my family members (4 persons incl myself), I assume my share is 25%.

I think I should have no problem in raising my kid alone. My parents are also just retired, and they are offering to take care of her while I'm working. The only reason I hesitate in this divoice is that my kid will be brought up in a single parent family...

Hmmm... Striking a deal with him is a good point. He loves her very much and he will not give her up so easily.

Thanks powder, yoongf, and clipperjunk for all your advice.
 

yoongf

Member
By default, the ownership of the property is joint tenancy. Meaning there is no % assigned to the ownership.

Only when the property is registered as Tenancy in common then the 25% is meaningful.

Since he did not finance it, then he got no ownership claims to it. He has got to prove that he contributed substantially to improve the property for it to be considered as matrimonial assets.

But.. your issues with hubby does not warrant such drastic action. Looks like normal reaction after the honeymoon period is over. At most is a period of seperation to rediscover each other?
 

susangoh

New Member
Besides renovation, can give me some examples on "substantial contribution" that the property is not considered as a matrimonial asset? Many Thanks.

You're right. We may not be in the situation where we must call for an end. I seriously think many issues can be solved if both of us are willing to take a step back. It's just that everytime when I do that, he moves a step forward. After a few rounds, I told myself I cannot be the one who always give in. So I make my stand very firm, and that's where our problems are escalating so quickly in these 2 years. I'm feeling very very tired towards that kind of quarreling ...
 

yoongf

Member
Actually, since the property is not in his name, u dun really have to worry so much in this dept. Because for him to claim anything, the burden of proof is on him to show what he has contributed towards the property. There are bigger things to worry about.

Besides, reno, a person can say, he paid for MCST charges, property tax, furniture, installments, interest expenses.

Anyway, if u do decide to proceed, work towards an uncontested D. A contested D is ridiculously draggy.
 

guyguy

New Member
If divorce, what percentage will the woman get if she commit adultery? If the same percentage of inital contribution when we first purchase the HDB flat? Pls help.
 

powder

Active Member
depends...

if she commits adultery with 1 guy - then it'll be 10%, if it's 2 guys - it'll be 20%, 3 guys and above will be 50%.

but seriously, the help u need isn't abt percentages... it's abt being so blatantly ignorant to ask such questions on the internet and expecting answers to go on, when an hour of surfing the local websites with legal info... can help u to get that answer.

what happens when there's no concrete Legal advice? do u not drop the divorce? and if a lawyer is to be engaged, then are u just gonna be paying for the paperwork, or are u gonna actually ask the same questions u're asking here?

it is better to Know what u can n cannot do, than to Think what u can n cannot do.
 

san20sg

New Member
Adultery only allows you to get a reason for divorce, it is not a factor in determining share of assets. As much as how it sounds unfair, the division of matrimonial assets is usually half-half. Rationale is to decide how best to get both parties moving forward, not delve in the past.

Go and check the family law. Best of luck.
 

annpaul

New Member
hi all...need advice regarding separation.

we need to physically stay apart for 3 years to divorce with consent. this 3 years...start from when? the moment we sleep on different beds? I read somewhere we could live in same house but different rooms and its considered separation. is this true?

the 3 years have to start from that point? how would the court know coz it will be our verbal reporting right?

i read somewhere about back-dating the separation date. in what circumstances can we backdate? to when? to when we got married?

i'm married for 4 years now and I'm thinking of divorcing my husband. duno if i can tong if i have to wait or waste another 3 years at least. 4 if hes not consenting.

pls advice
 

simpleman

Active Member
You can probably backdate to a mutually agreed date - assuming both are OK with it.

Best is to stay in different house when separated. Otherwise in the house is possible but the onus is on you to prove that no longer behaving as hb & wife since the date of separation. Not so easy if one side is not cooperating.. especially if still have sex with each other.. or even do things for each other as hb & wife..
 

eddie77

New Member
Before you talk about divorce, is there any way of saving the marriage? Romance will die down after a few years of marriage and with temptation all around, one can easily get side-trek and starts to find the other partner irritating. But, can heart-to-heart talk and a second honeymoon help? Why not try first? light up that romance fire again!
 

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