So what does that means?

tellmesomething

New Member
He said its not necessary to see each other everyday even after we are legally married (ROM already) but have not go through the customary wedding (plus wedding dinner).

Do you not want to see your husband/wife everyday even if both of you can't stay together under 1 roof yet?
 


Jaron

New Member
Of course I gladly love to. I don't even have a gf yet but am already looking forward to seeing my future on a diurnal basis.

Its unfortunate to be married with someone who isn't as obsessed about you as you are over them.
 

buddhabar

Active Member
TS don't worry too much, you have another 30 to 40 years seeing each other everyday. I understand how you feel and your thoughts. Your husband is just being a man and he's probably just concern about losing his freedom. All husbands are the same. Please do not suffocate your marriage.
 

traciee

Active Member
if it was me, of course i would like to see him everyday. but then again, depends on circumstances. if have other things on like friends meet up, or gotta work late etc then no choice. things will change once u guys move in together :) don't want to see everyday also bo pian :x hahahaha.
 

Jehvy

Member
Perhaps you should talk to him again, maybe he doesn't mean it the way you are interpreting it now.

My SO also said let's live apart in our own parents' place just like how it is before marriage on the weekdays till we get our own flat. I was rather furious because I seem to be the only one wanting to make the effort to go down to his parent's home to be with him. His parent's place is one and half hour travel from my workplace and my parent's place.

I told him I was disappointed that he wants to live apart from me after marriage and he apologised. He said he just thought it was tedious for me to travel back and forth everyday to work from his parent's place not that he does not want to be with me everyday.
 

tellmesomething

New Member
To me seeing each other is a secondary thing. The primary thing is there needs to be communication.

We do not really talk on the phone with each other and the only time we can talk to each other and have our own time is when we are together, just the 2 of us.

He's concern about not getting enough rest if we are to meet up everyday. But meet or no meet, he still sleeps at 10 plus or 11 plus because of watching show or playing mj. So what's the difference?

My only concern is that we are no longer dating, but married. If we do not see each other for 1 day, our conversations are usually very minimal. To be able to see and talk to your wife everyday, is it not something most husbands want?

We still have at least 6 more months to go before we can live together.
 
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miloice

Well-Known Member
To me seeing each other is a secondary thing. The primary thing is there needs to be communication.

We do not really talk on the phone with each other and the only time we can talk to each other and have our own time is when we are together, just the 2 of us.

He's concern about not getting enough rest if we are to meet up everyday. But meet or no meet, he still sleeps at 10 plus or 11 plus because of watching show or playing mj. So what's the difference?

My only concern is that we are no longer dating, but married. If we do not see each other for 1 day, our conversations are usually very minimal. To be able to see and talk to your wife everyday, is it not something most husbands want?

We still have at least 6 more months to go before we can live together.
what is more important is not about seeing each other all the time. Couples can be living together but not talking. One thing that struck me during one of my best buddy's wedding, his promise to his wife that he will date her for life.

To me, that made a lot of sense and I'm doing that in my own marriage over the past 10 years as well. Just celebrated our anniversary recently. We are so engrossed with work and the internet, when kids are asleep, couples are all guilty of spending hours online in the same bedroom. I remembered a sharing years back from someone in this forum on how his marriage fell apart after his wife got a car herself. It is indeed, all these little time that couples spend daily to remain connected that is very important. If we let them slip, lost emotions are hard to recover after.
 
My in laws have been married for like decades. They see each other everyday, but they sleep in different rooms. When they talk, they always end up bickering... nearly.

See each other everyday doesn't mean "must be good". Like what miloice pointed out, couples can be living together, but not talking. To add, it can be the classic... stay together, but without the intimacy. Somehow, I find that its more important to understand and know whether one is out for the companionship or lust or (may be) love. Even if one does know what he or she wants, is it only relevant and applicable at that moment and at that point in time? That's where marriages turn bland and couples becoming disillusioned. Its all quite simply because that purpose and mission have been lost or that everyone or someone stopped believing in the earlier perceived purpose, mission and cause.

It is easy to jump into a relationship. But always remember that relationships are always easier to enter than exit. The emotional and financial cost of entry is great, but that of exit even greater.
 

life_is

Active Member
My in laws have been married for like decades. They see each other everyday, but they sleep in different rooms. When they talk, they always end up bickering... nearly.

See each other everyday doesn't mean "must be good". Like what miloice pointed out, couples can be living together, but not talking. To add, it can be the classic... stay together, but without the intimacy. Somehow, I find that its more important to understand and know whether one is out for the companionship or lust or (may be) love. Even if one does know what he or she wants, is it only relevant and applicable at that moment and at that point in time? That's where marriages turn bland and couples becoming disillusioned. Its all quite simply because that purpose and mission have been lost or that everyone or someone stopped believing in the earlier perceived purpose, mission and cause.

It is easy to jump into a relationship. But always remember that relationships are always easier to enter than exit. The emotional and financial cost of entry is great, but that of exit even greater.

Agreed. Takes effort to maintain a relationship. Many stay together in old age without the affection, simply for practical purposes. Don't let that happen to anyone.

There is almost no way to maintain a marriage without staying together. The feelings will gradually fade, and divorce will happen.
 

buddhabar

Active Member
I used to envy a friend who is married for 16 years and teased her for their secret. she surprised me by saying it's due to both their jobs require them to fly half the time. That equates to them seeing each in at most 2 weeks in a month if their overseas business schedule coincide perfectly which rarely happens. She even told me their 16 years are effectively 5 years but they are happy and feeling fresh in their marriage which is what matters, I think. I don't really know how to read this. Sometimes, it's really down to the individuals. Too much can be to little to some and vice versa.
 

xue12

New Member
dont have to see each other everyday i guess, good to have some personal space yet maintaining the communication..
why dont try to text him frequent to keep conversation going or insist on talking on the phone/facetime every nite before ur sleep? :)
 

Ch10e

New Member
Sorry, I will be very concerned if I don't see my hubby. So does he mean that he can be away few days and just come and see you when he feels like it?

No one stay in room alone all day. If he is not with you, he will most likely be with his friends (maybe guys maybe girls). He is living his own life and you are not part of his life.
 

Alyssat

New Member
maybe can tell ur hubby, instead of using the time for mj or watching show, meet up with you instead ? and it can be a simple meal or walking in the park having some alone time to catch up on each other's lives.. i'd love that if i were in this situation as i feel communication is very important too. i used to have arguments with my bf over not meeting up regularly or him prioritizing his friends over me even though we meet less than 2x a week due to the nature of our work. eventually we worked those out by talking these issues out nicely together, i understand his pov, and vice versa... just try not to be too aggressive or pushy when having such talks haha good luck! :)
 

cookieger

New Member
staying separate is not such a bad idea... at least if yr Mil is not that ok to live with u avoid issues that may arise from conflicts between u and yr Mil and I guess this makes yr hubby feel troubled.. so staying apart may not be such a bad idea.. I wanted to but my Mil was against it and my hubby doesn't really like the idea too but when I stay over at his house Mil always give me weird attitude when I don't stay over ask a lot of weird questions to my hubby... haha how man luckily my house in a months time ready
 

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