Should I fight for my $$$ from my Ex husband?

sadlyt

New Member
Hi All,

I need advice on what I should do to get what I should from my ex husband. My case is very complicated and not easy to understand I think. After all these things that happened, I only can conclude that I'm naive. I hope I can get assistance from here and guide me to the bright future of me and daughter.

Brief description:
- I was a single parent before I turned 18 and gave birth to a baby girl. ( Biological father didn't want to take responsibility )
- Within 1 year, My ex husband came into my life. He love me and my daughter very much. My family likes him too and his family also accepted us with my daughter then I married him 2 years later.
- We had a son soon after.
- Brought 4RM HDB.
- Because of home violence I leave him.( was seriously beaten up and locked up by him)
- Agreement on our house is that he will be taking over my share and I will just get back what I have contributed in CPF.
- We came to a mutual understanding that he will take care both of my kids and give them the best I will give him everything single cent of the house profit.( as showing gratitude of him taking care of my girl for the time being, about 2 years till i get a flat myself) he agrees.
- File divorce as 3 years separation. ($1 maintenance fee and just get back my CPF money) easy divorce and he wanted me to file as he didn't want to pay($2k).

Current Situation:

- Due to the sales of our flat, court order need to be changed. ( This time round he said he will pay $2.Xk, without me asking.)
- Sales of house will be completed very soon.
- the day before my signature to the last document of HDB ( transfer ownership), I found out many things that he is cheating on me. ( I asked him to loan me some $ from the profit to help me get a flat faster so that I can bring my daughter with me. He gave excuses that he need to pay HDB $40k, bla bla bla so he have no $ to help me. I questioned him why he need to pay HDB that amount he never reply me and he just emphasizing on the CPF money that I am taking back and other nonsense.) He insisted that he didn't earn any money from our house.

I know I was stupid previously to even trust him. Now I want to know if I should get back what I deserved from him. But If disturb the sale of the flat both of us will be sue by the buyer. I have consulted 2 lawyers now and they have analysis with me that my chances of winning are slim because last minute changing the court order again the judge will think that due to my greediness I am going after the profit of the house.

I know once i talk to him I will have to bring my girl with me in case he do anything to her. I cannot trust him anymore. Can someone give me some advise?

Thank you very much.

Sadly,
Foolish Woman
 


infojunkie

Active Member
"I need advice on what I should do to get what I should from my ex husband. "

"I know once i talk to him I will have to bring my girl with me in case he do anything to her"

get ur girl back.

money is a secondary issue here... and ur pride too.

ur main concern should be that of ur kids' safety.

she's ur girl, not his.

dun take any chances.
 

sadlyt

New Member
I will bring her back for sure. But my girl will have to be alone at home she is 10. Should be ok right? I'm worried on her traveling to school from central to east side in the morning and back in the afternoon while I'm not at home.

I have to talk to him very soon. please advise and support me. =)
 

sadlyt

New Member
I am asking for advise on things of what I should say and stuffs.

I am bringing her back for sure. Although he is abusive towards me before but he still dotes her and he was never abusive to our kids.

I need to hear from people of their opinions whether to make things ugly with him or just let it go and let him have all the $ and I left with nothing and I cannot buy house.

So I need to look for MP(s) to settle this issue. I need methods to handle him at this current critical moment.

of course, I still appreciate Junkie's advice. Thank you!
 

oneder

New Member
TC,

Since you have agreed to the first court order, you should stick to it. And as the lawyers told you, your chances might be slim. So why not end this fast and channel this energy to rebuild your life.
 

sadlyt

New Member
Its not a small amount( close to 200k) I was willingly giving him that if he did what we agreed previously. Now I'm taking the money for my girl. And he lied to me and ask me to change the 1st court order
 

sadlyt

New Member
yes but on condition. but now I found out he lied. So he don't deserved it. Now he dare not to see me. I msg him he talk nonsense to me. Obviously he didn't want to talk with me.
 

scopefun

New Member
You are wasting your time asking these people...

$200,000... it's not a small sum for you and him.

Your lawyer may be more willing to settle this case since you are resource-scarce than to risk fighting and lose the case.

Logically, you don't fight... the judge can trust you but you confirm lose...

You can fight, the judge can distrust you, but you at least have a fighting chance. Besides, it's really how you present the case.

For me, I usually will fight.

I really don't understand why you married a man who doesn't love you... LOL~

What do you think? LOL~
 

serene_yam

New Member
TC, I can't believe that after this episode u will still willingly let this man look after ur daughter for u. That's ur daughter. He's a man, and a man who has violent tendencies and hidden secrets of the money issues from u. U r........UNBELIEVABLE.

Are u working? Do u have any relatives who can help to care for ur girl? Ur parents/siblings? Have u considered Student Care??? If he's taking care of his son, u ought to take care of ur daughter as well. Don't dump all to him, especially since he has violent tendencies.
 

silkycatie

New Member
TC,

I may not know alot but since u have consulted 2 lawyers n they r so experience in such cases.. don't they provide alternatives for you?

Base on what I learnt from my friends divorce case, the maintenance n conditions to divorce usually depends how the black n white is written. Did it ever mention that he will has to assist you financially or emotionally the next 2 yrs till you settle down with own house? Base on ur both mutual understanding that what you both had agreed, any witness that can stand by you?

If I m not wrong, you can raise ur $1 maintenance(if its by monthly)whenever you have a need. Maybe you can provide proof that both you n ur girl have been dependent on his financial aid thru out the yrs n it was out of folly, you didn't demand higher? Scenario of loss of job if it happened definitely helps.

it really depends how bad you need the financial support from him n if it is worth to fight the case from him. Firstly, if the HDB side affected n buyer gg to sue.. Do you have to be fined or compensate? This will also drags the proceed due to the court case between u n ur ex.. N will prob drags to another yr or longer if he protest. Wouldn't this be emotionally taxing for u n ur girl?

Its a new beginnings from an end for you n ur girl. Choose the best route for ur girl n urself. Follow your heart... Tho she is only 10, you nv know how much a little girl knows.. Just make ur girl strong n proud from her growing up.
 

silkycatie

New Member
Btw.. Since he is already avoiding you now has already proven how sincere he is to helping you. If you wanna be nasty.. You can just bring up that you gg to protest the court order which will affects the sales of flat. If everything goes ugly, both party will just lose out. If he wanna a win win situation for both, just simply go friendly n moreover u r only asking for a loan.
 

sadlyt

New Member
thanks guys for your advices.

My girl is with me now at my parent's place everything is good at the moment.

I can support my kids of course its a long story to explain. Maybe all of you should think from this point, won't someone be so stupid and didn't get any single cent but also need to fork out own money to file for divorce?

There must be a reason that I agree to give him and I am really willing to. Many of my friends said 'm stupid and stuffs but I know what I am doing. I'm not dumb. He is the first Fxxker that beaten me up and bathe me with Chivas and cold water.

Anyway, its the past. Now after i found out that he is cheated me I should just get back what i should.

Now I need to have good lawyers contact from you guys. Please introduce me one if you come across to know. I will keep you guys posted on my status. =)

I appreciate everybody's comments. thank you everyone!
 

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