Sharing the views

ssophiaa26

New Member
Actually starting this thread, I would like to know the views of the majority as to what you will do.

The story goes like this:

I know my HTB for 7 years, but we were only together for 3 yrs and decided to get married. All along, there is these problems that exist all along. Initially when we were togatehr, things are well, good, happy. like fairy tales. But as time passes, he begins to take things for granted. We planned everything for the marriage, bought a house and its ready. But the preparation was done by me. Initiative was not from him. I need to overlook everything for him. from small things to big things.. always asking is this done, is that done.I am really tired. We always have this problem that we cannot understand each other well. I dont know what went wrong over these years. When we were together, we have nth much to talk about, only him asking routine qns. Actually sometimes aft a hard day at work, i would v much enjoy sharing jokes, news of the day or some activities that could be planned forthe weekends. A side note, he is not free on every weekend due to his job nature. Even if we do go out, we only had dinner. Sometimes i feel he is not making effort in spicing things up. Only from time to time i nagged, and he do. After that, the same thing goes back to square one. In most time, what i said he cun understand. He is extremely forgetful. He could forget abt what happened hrs ago or conversation we had hrs or days ago. There is no way he could improve things and told me if I cannot accept him then we do not go ahead for the marriage since I bring up the topic of calling it off. So I told him I could not accept. I mean if we do not have common interest, goals in life, common topics... and little effort that has been made in his part for the wedding preparation. I called off the wedding. But we still talk.. as friends. I feel disappointed in the end results but I felt relieved.

If you were in my situation, will you also do the same?
 


mum_of_2_girls

New Member
Hi Sophia,

I want to share with you this encounter I had last weekend.

There was this couple taking photos at Universal Studios. The guy looked quite young, boyish and handsome and the girl looked a bit more mature-looking but still have a cute look, maybe because of her side ponytail style.

The girl was busy taking photos of the guy. She kept asking the guy to pose this way and that way. The guy happily posed for her.

The guy's posing was quite stylish, I thought maybe that's why the girl loved to take his photos. However, I noticed the girl was wearing quite high heels shoes, not so suitable for walking around Universal Studios. Nevertheless, I walked away from the couple, thinking what a cute, attractive and happy couple.

After a few hours later in the afternoon, there was a heavy down pour. My hubby and I had to handle 2 young kids, putting on raincoats, lugging around heavy children bags and a double stroller. At the same time, still have to go for the rides and attractions together with the kids.

Though it rained, we still managed to complete most of the attractions and still had a wonderful time. As we were about to exit the universal studios, I saw the cute couple again.

This time, the whole mood of the couple was different. The poor girl was sitting on the stairs steps and screaming away at the guy.

The guy back-faced her, with his hands on the railing, looking outwards to the lake, not facing her at all. And the girl screamed," You are not considerate of me!........" A few tourists were looking at her but she didn't care.

I was thinking myself such 2 extreme scenerios, at the beginning so fairy-tale sweet but the ending was disappointing.

Just imagine, a heavy down pour and high heels can cause such eruptions, I wonder if they are married with 2 kids like us and the mountain of things to lug around, will World War Two happen then.

So Sophia, fom this true encounter, can you imagine your HTB handling 2 young restless kids, lugging heavy bags and stroller and still be happy even though it rains.
You know your answer, don't you?
 

joyfulgirl

New Member
Sophia,

There is no fairy tales in the reality.
You know very well your HTB personality and character throughout these years and this is him and you have to accept. You will be facing endless repeated issue in asking him to change for you but this will never last because this is not him. Man will not change for the sake of woman. Those who did are rare cases.

So you should ask yourself, do you love him and his shortcoming? Or are you looking for a man who provide you with fairy tale kind of life?

How about yourself? Do you have shortcomings but he never make noise about it? He never ask you to change? Is he tolerance enough to accept you as what you are? Not easy to find a man who can endure and accept 100% of us?

Nobody is perfect, please think through and choose wise and prioritize what is more important in your criteria for husband and the man who you are going to spend the rest of your life.
 

tomasulu

Member
We need more people like you Sophia. It takes much courage to call off the wedding so far along the preparation. Be strong and stick to your decision.
 

grandma

New Member
Either call off now or divorce late. I had problems before the wedding but i didn't have the courage to divorce. Then got stuck in a unhappy marriage for 13 yrs and finally divorce.

Think twice.
 

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