Sexual harassment at work is it common?


powder

Active Member
seriously just handle it internally within company.. speak to the boss or the superior of the person harassing u.

bringing it to the police will make u less desirable to work with, altho i may side u on this matter, i will offload u once this blows over. i dun like to hold staff who sow discord and seek redress over issues they should be able to handle without involving authorities etc.
 

powder

Active Member
examples should be in place here... if u can give a few examples of sexual harassment that has occured
 

sgbabydoll

Active Member
Happened to me before. Came from a colleague from another department and in the form of SMS, email and IM, which I ignore totally. Also stopped going out for lunch with him. But when I see him within the office building I will still smile, say hi and exchange a few words.

He knows I am on guard with him but he can't takan me at work cos I conduct myself professionally.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
it isn't as straight forward to say the whistle blower will or will not for sure be penalized. Pointless to stick to general opinion specially without any details on the situation. The company reputation is at stake, if there is any case of poor handling and overactions, for sure, the management would not want to keep this staff.

Need to know more to understand if its clearly needed for authorities to be involved and that it cannot be managed internally.
 

powder

Active Member
there are those ladies who tend to be uptight... a light accidental brush, or harmlessly looking in a direction where they happen to present their clothes in a revealing manner... u never really know. some are reallybeing uptight, altho i dun dispute that some sexual harassments will occur too. it's the handling that is impt.

i wouldn't use the word 'whistle-blower' cos it makes the harassment seem unwrong. harassment Is wrong, it's just whether u wanna start by taking personal precautions First, like cutting down exposure n proximity, telling the person off In Private and giving him warnings, then telling his superior, and HR etc. BEFORE u seek legal redress.
 

powder

Active Member
yes Scope i do... u're very sharp in that assessment. my main problem with personailities has to do with non-existent ones like yours... altho it's adorable to see tiny little dogs barking fiercely, it gets irritating after awhile.

i seriously dun know why your owners unleasehed u and allow u to irritate the neighbours... go chew on a bone or something.
 

scope_guy

New Member
Powder,

Don't be so defensive. You have a personality defect, just confront it. If you don't confront it, you will never change.

But of course, why change?

LOL~
 

scope_guy

New Member
Powder,

Apparently, you like to be a 'successful' defect. Then I have no choice but to be the retard. LOL~

Hopefully, you will be luckier than that Peng Hwa crap. LOL~
 

powder

Active Member
unfortunately no good advice for u, some inborn characters can't be changed. at least u can still use the pc despite being a retard. i agree u dun have a choice, just gotta make do i guess..
 

scope_guy

New Member
Powder,

LOL~ Well... I am made this way. If I am to treat abused women the way you intend to do...

I rather be a retard. And you can go on and... LOL~ say whatever you want.
 

thommy

New Member
"yup, tat's why getting advice from a retard like u is foremost on my list of Don'ts."

this one really makes my day powder...wahahhaa...
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
"I rather be a retard"... A retard is one not by choice. That's basically the limit of his intellect. Cannot blame the retard for being one.

But this one really don't deserve much sympathy though.
 

scope_guy

New Member
Childish people.

Sometimes I lament... why should I be born in such an environment. But... if I ain't here... How would I know people can be so ridiculous? LOL~

Very funny, Milo. You are the low-IQ here, yet you think you are the higher-thinking one. LOL~

And Thomas, still mocking like a childish idiot who can't even make sense. Other than that, what good points does he really carry in his hollowness? LOL~

Why should I need your attention, Thomas? It's as if you have anything smarter to say than: There are always guys more handsome than Scope Guy...

LOL~

Somebody in this forum emailed me about you people... why I can tahan you people? It's because it's not Tahan, it's really because you guys and gals are so entertaining.

Childish... and ridiculous. LOL~

LOL~
 

thommy

New Member
u mean u are the most handsome scope?

wah..bloody narcissist at work here.

ok if it makes yr day...scope is dead bottle people handsum!
 

scope_guy

New Member
Here comes the twists and turns. LOL~

Who says I am handsome?

What is the issue about a person's look in this forum of avatars??? Thomas, when you threw something like this in the forum, what were you thinking? LOL~

Actions do speak for themselves... You guys are soooooo blooooooooooody childish! LOL~

Childish childish childish, and so what you don't admit it? You are just a bunch of brats. LOL~

Never I said I am handsome. So... LOL~

Narcissist at work... No no no no, it's avatar at work.
 

giantemu

New Member
if i am the boss of the company, i would rather keep it within internal and try to resolve the issue.

Firstly, it is not easy to prove sexual harassement, of course, blatant groping or explicit solictations are easy to prove. But i feel, most of the time, its difficult. The other party can always claim he is trying to be friendly, misunderstanding etc.

Also, there is a stigma, usually the whistle blower ( i feel) will also leave the company, why? Simply becos even if the offender is disciplined, tongues will still wag amongst colleagues...can you withstand this?

Thats probably also why alot of sexual harassement are not reported in the press because I think they are usually resolved internally and out of sight.
 

hweebs

New Member
Jo,

There are some problems getting this resolved internally, or you fear the repercussions? Or is it that that guy did not stop after being warned and so? I had a female friend who kena this before...that guy was quite an old bird, so after my fren brought this up to her department and etc, the whole department doubted her and thought all this to be her fault. Later on she decided to bring the issue all the way to the top, then finally that cheekopeh got some punishment or something (no bonus plus promotion in the year or something), but my fren ended up being gossiped all around. She left in the end, but felt vindicated in a sense.
 

ariebeth

New Member
While I don't get groped, I'm working with a Malay colleague (married) who makes a lot of comments that are bordering on sexual harrassment (ie he tells me to bend over on his lap or that he "likes them big", or comments on my bra etc...)

Just have to learn to handle it I guess. Initially I tried to ignore him, but after awhile, I learnt that the best way to shut him up is to put him in his place.

Once, he lewdly suggested that I take off my top and my boss happened to walk past my cubicle, he was called in for a "talk" immediately. He's in my dept, so like Doll, I am still cordial to him.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
We had once a french boss that always crack all kinds of jokes, some totally inappropriate actually. In one of the interview, the interviewee got so scared that she ran out of the meeting room thinking he was making an indecent proposal.

HR had to assure her that he was only joking and not seriously trying to be funnie. This wasn't an isolated case but everyone that worked with him respect and trust him to know it was just one of his silly corny jokes that isn't so funnie to some people in the asian context. There were people that left the company because they couldn't tolerant working for him. But, that's the minority. Most of us are fine with it.

Anyway, he was promoted and know the new boss reports to him. This new guy is much more 'proper' and serious.
 

sundownprince

New Member
previously happened before to another person (things that happened were consensual from rumors) just called up for chit chat. nothing done. person still persists. lol.
1. so just laught it off and let him persists?
2. quit?
 

sundownprince

New Member
we work in some sort of factory so all uniforms. no indecent clothes at all. very strict about attire. lots of rooms to get locked in. at times quite empty.
 

sundownprince

New Member
and from what i gather from the forum. most guys dont think its a big deal. so if i were to tell the predominantly male bosses they will just think i'm crazy right?
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
Jo Ou,
no... need to know more. Cannot make any generic deduction at all.

You are trying to push for a conclusion without being specific on what you are claiming as sexual harrassment. How do you expect anyone to give you any answer?
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
cornering you to do what? for some indecent proposals? And the SMS as well?

Have you spoken to your boss on this? That's the 1st level of escalation. If no action done, speak with HR. Get evidence to support your case. e.g. replying his email or SMS clearly asking him to stop. Keep those exchanges.

As in any organization, there is proper channel of escalation. Find out what is the protocol and push for it to be resolved if its this serious.
 

powder

Active Member
Jo,

wat gives u the idea that "most guys dont think its a big deal"? who thinks it's no big deal here? would u like to point out?

think the 2 schools of thoughts are whether to report externally or internally. and also some questions thrown on the severity of the harassment... if it's physical or very vulgar, then definitely it's someting that should not be tolerated...

but if the guy is just saying "hey pretty..." or maybe cracking dirty jokes in office which isn't directly with u... then just wanna make sure u're not making a mountain out of a mouldhill.

it seems u have a pre-conceived notion abt guys, that is clouding your reading.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
Precisely, should be getting clear prove of his harrassments. Singaporeans like to call police for everything thinking its the best way to handle everything. Even if you report police, you would need evidence to back your claims. Unless absolutely required, common sense should tell you that you should try to escalate and manage this internally. IT DOESN'T MEAN its no a big deal. Its precisely because how big a deal it could be that one should exerice more discretion.

Why does common sense seems so uncommon??
 

hweebs

New Member
I think I understand what Jo means. Do you guys think that females will treat anything small such as a dirty joke as sexual harassment? Note that sexual harassment is intimidation, bullying or coercion of a sexual nature, or the unwelcome or inappropriate promise of rewards in exchange for sexual favors. As long as Jo feels threatened and repulsed by this attention, it IS sexual harassment. The feel I have is that you guys have been trivializing the matter. What? Jo doesn't have the brains to know what is sexual harassment is it?

Jo, will you be able to ask your superior for some advice...couch it that you ask what you should do if a male colleague tries to physically corner you and makes sexual innuendoes and lewd remarks at you? Ask for advice first...see what he suggests. If you feel that it is fair and above board, then you can go on and report, plus that your superior had fair warning. If you get the feel that you are supposed to tolerate it, or that it's just your oversensitivity, you decide: you can make this a big hoo-ha with the HR, then leave, or just leave or transfer to another department where you have no more contact with your harasser.

Hope this helps!
 

powder

Active Member
"The feel I have is that you guys have been trivializing the matter. What? Jo doesn't have the brains to know what is sexual harassment is it?"

......
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
who is trivializing the matter?
Is
- asking her to provide more details to understand why she isn't able to escalate this internally
- advising her to keep the evidence to make her case. (Evidence of not just his advances but also her warnings to him.)
- finding out more of the escalation protocol
trivializing the matter??

In any allegations, its his words against hers. She definitely need the concrete evidence regardless if she decides to report it to the authorities or internally.

Some really truly selective reading here. Interpretation can be subjective and hence need to really understand the situation and provide various possible views on it. Just because she feels threatened itself might not be sufficient. It doesn't mean she is brainless. Only brainless folks don't realize that.

How is your advise any different? You too asked her to figure out if she was over sensitive or not. Why didn't just ask her to call police? That's really her question. Since its trivializing the matter to advise her otherwise.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
in fact, it is in her own words... the conclusion that most guys thinks its no big deal.

"from what i gather from the forum. most guys dont think its a big deal. so if i were to tell the predominantly male bosses they will just think i'm crazy right?"

No one ever said that at all. Just advising her on how to manage it then just thinking above calling the authorities immediately. So, what made her come to that conclusion? I see a possibility and tendency of her coming to her conclusions basing on her clouded ideas. Don't you?
 

tomasulu

Member
jo, i know where powder and milo come from but they are wrong. their attitude is wrong and their approach is wrong.

i am no lawyer but those two acts are clearly sexual harassment. they are at a min. unacceptable workplace behavior. you don't have to be shy about telling him off (loudly!), going to the boss (speak plainly!) and/or filing a police report. i am a guy and if this were to happen to my loved one, i will not hesitate to have a fist to face confrontation with the guy immediately. you have a brother who is also a gym rat?
 

powder

Active Member
seems the misunderstanding is deep. well, thats's life... the posts will remain for anyone who actually bothers with the chronological statement of events...
 

vios

New Member
duh, obviously you don't have to be a lawyer to conclude that the two examples are forms of sexual harassement - as cited by Jo Ou - although i wish that she would put it down earlier so that the lads' intentions were not misunderstood.

scope, do you confront your boss and tell him off because you don't understand what he's saying?
 


sundownprince

New Member
thank you for your replys. my ideas are definitely clouded and of cause i have preconceived notions. if i did feel comfortable revealing everything i would have voiced out long ago to someone of higher authority. i know the severity of the situation otherwise i would not have termed it sexual haressement. i would have first qnsed the boundaries of it. its not a borderline case but the contents are secondary now since even if you know it would not help. cause i do not have the courage to speak in real life. i am weak. i admit it. and i cannot accept the repurcussions that it would have on the affected parties. anyhow thanks for your different views.
 

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