Sexless marriage

60secs

Member
Yes, as per above I have encountered some issues with my wife. I am going through a sex deprived marriage like many did. The problem is, we are married for less than a year. We did have sexual encounters on and off before our marriage for the past few years and every single time it was great. Around 1 year prior to the wedding she requested for hiatus and her reason was she did not want any "accident" to happen. I though she was right and fair so I obliged.

We did not "consummate" on our wedding night as I was semi KO'ed by the liquor when we reach the suite. The next day we had to check out by noon so there was no chance for anything kinky to happen. The same night nothing happened as both of us were still exhausted. The following night I initiated but was shrug off by her "I'm still feeling very tired, can we do it another day?" So I thought why not give her another few days of rest before I try again. I did not ask again till almost two weeks later and was again shrug off by the ever familiar reason "i don't feel like". I didn't say anything and turned towards the opposite direction and fell asleep shortly.

After weeks of facing her rejections, I brought up the topic of sex deprived marriage to her. The conversation didn't last more than 5 minutes and ended up pretty nasty. During the conversation I brought up to her the potential issues of a sexless marriage. It was pretty clear that the message not only did not get through but at the same time backfired. She said that I not being understanding and demanding. I then asked her "if I don't turn to you for sex, who should I turn to?" She kept quiet and the conversation ended.

We did not have sex till 3 months later and it ended within 10 minutes. There was almost no foreplay, just touch, pump then cum. To be honest, I couldn't feel any love from her. And then the same thing happened again whenever I try to initiate, the SOP Reasons "I don't feel like, feeling tired etc". My frustrations grew strong as the days went by. When I could no longer hold back my frustrations, I confronted her. She then told me that she's no longer interested with sex but wouldn't mind if we are planning for children. At that moment my mind went blank. Completely blank. Mind you, both of us are only in our late twenties and she has already lost her sex drive. To make things worse, she's a looker and when we are out, married men never fail to lay their eyes on her. In the eyes of those envious men, they must have thought how lucky I am. But the truth is, I am suffering.

Till date I have yet ate outside although the thought has crossed my mind countless times. Partially also due to the fact that some of our relatives have divorced due to cheating/3rd party.

I know there are already such threads but I thought it would be great that I could share my own and have others reflect that there are "worser" scenarios. Feel free to share your opinions. Any tips to remedy my situation is very much welcome.
 


anirdnas

New Member
Maybe you wanna go research for some interesting ways to arose her into sex? Be more sensitive of what she likes? Try to put in more effort in turning her on.
 

momoftwo

Member
tsk tsk tsk.. you threaten and blackmail her because you didn't get what you want ( sex)... that's sexual suicide. What a BIG stupid mistake.
Do you only touch her and act loving to her when you want sex ? When you no urge.. do you still say loving words to her and hug her much ?
Her desire for you must build up slowing over time, often over days.
just because she is now your wife..you gave her a ring... you didn't upgrade her body with a on/off switch for sex. She is your wife.. not your inflatable sex toy.

Hug her and give her some love.. without expecting sex. Can you do that ?
If she shrug you off... just gently remind her that you just want to hug and be close to her... nothing sexual.
 

Jemore

New Member
It clearly isn't normal, perhaps you should try to get her to see a couples therapist with you, perhaps there are other reasons why she is not keen on sex at all now.
 

sharingNcaring101

New Member
Forget about sex. Sex is the be-product of love. You need to focus on the love relationship with your wife. Love is the primary human emotional need. For love, we will climbs mountain, cross seas, and endure untold hardships. Without love, mountains become unclimbable, seas uncrossable, deserts unbearable and hardships our plight of life.
When love is gone, our relationship is dead. You used to feel close, but not now. Could it be that her love-emotional tank is empty? If you could find way to fill it, could your marriage be reborn? Could fill your wife’s emotional tank be the key that makes your marriage work?
Try to fall in love with her again. Affirm her, use encouraging and kinds words. Have a quality time and activities (not sex). Give the ‘Gift of Self’ – being there when she needs you.
Love is a choice. The in-love experience temporarily meets one’s emotional need for love. To love is simply choosing to do it for her benefit. If she feels your love, you can relax, knowing that she will do the same to you.
 

user1973

New Member
Based on my experience and 6th. sense, the wife already feel no interest on the husband, of course I mean not only sex but also love, there is something irritating her or worse make her vomit blood, example like the husband socks was terrible smelly or mouth bad breath........so as a husband, your responsibility is to go and find out what exactly happen.
 

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