Sequence of wedding events within a day (What should take place first)

[nutellachoc]

Dear all,

I'm new here and my HTB are discussing to get married next year. We would like to do everything within a day (if possible) but we're unsure how the sequence of events should take place.

should it be: Fetch Bride -> ROM @ some place (not decided yet) -> go back to groom and bride's house for tea ceremony -> go Hotel for wedding dinner

or should it be: Fetch Bride -> go back to groom and house for tea ceremony -> ROM @ some place (not decided yet) -> go back Bride's house for tea ceremony -> go Hotel for wedding dinner

In fact im not sure on the tea ceremony and ROM.. like which one should i do first?

TIA

 

[monkie]

by right, you should do ROM first. because singapore law doesn't allow us to do customery before ROM.
by left, nobody knows.

 

[monkie]

different ppl got different plan, mine is
fetch me - go new house - go hotel for ROM - tea ceremony at hotel (groom side) - wedding lunch - take picture - go mother's place for tea ceremony - END.

 

[sparkless]

Hello,

Been to a wedding where the solemnization took place right before the start of the dinner banquet. So instead of having to find another venue for your ROM, why not consider having it before the dinner itself. That will free up some time during the day.

 

[cactus_79]

Hi Grace,

If you plan to do ROM and customary on the same day, it is okay to do ROM first. I called up ROM to check on this point about 2 years ago and was advised that it's okay if both done on the same day. only if you plan to do ROM a couple of days after customary, then illegal.

There are alot of variations of how to do sequencing. I think the important thing is to consider if there is a need to abide by any auspicious hour for fetching of the bride, tea ceremony and ROM signing. Also, consider the distance and time taken to travel from place to place. and from there, work out the most convenient sequence.


I've heard of the following variations:

1) fetch bride, rom, tea ceremony at rom venue
2) fetch bride, rom, lunch, tea ceremony at lunch venue
3) fetch bride in morning, tea ceremony. Rest. ROM at evening time, dinner at night.
4) fetch bride, Rest. ROM before dinner. tea ceremony follows. then dinner.

 

[nutellachoc]

thanks for the advise people..

hi Starry,

i've heard of horror stories that couples who hold ROM just before the start of the wedding dinner will be disrupted by late guests. did you experience that when you attended the wedding?

i liked the idea that it can free up some time during the day, but im not sure on the 'disruption' part? and since there'll be so many people at the dinner, will it be rowdy during the solemnization (esp if there are kids/babies crying etc)?

hi cactus_79,
thanks for the variations, at least now i know there's no 'standard' sequence for tea ceremony and ROM... and i didn't know its illegal to do customary before ROM until now!

 

[cactus_79]

Hi nutnut,

I know of 2 couples who held their ROM just before start of wedding dinner. but they held it at a function room.. not at the ballroom where the dinner is held. So there is little chance of being distrupted by late guests. There was 1 wedding that I attended where couple marched in, then had solemnziation on the stage. What they did was to have the hotel staff stop people from goign to their seats during solemizniation. instead, they were able to observe the solmenization from inside the ballroom, and they entered through the side door. No one was allowed to enter the ballroom when couple was marching in though. There were no kids during the solemnziation.

 

[sparkless]

Hi nut

The wedding that i went to was similiar to what cactus described.

They had the solemnization right after they march in. anyway, the dinner started an hour late (as usual). however, on the invitation card itself, printed to be seated at 7pm, solemnization ceremony at 730pm, dinner commenced at 8pm. In reality, they marched in late. Headed straight to the stage, had the solemnization.

There was no disruption, no babies or running kids.

 

[nutellachoc]

thanks for the advice.. actually me and HTB very lost as to what should we start now? (partly oso no motivation to start)

like choosing dates (also dunno go where choose, ask who choose, so overwhelmed by the info)

and he also haven't propose, i don't want to be so enthu and check info here and there like i can't wait to marry him.. haha. and we are both the eldest and there wasn't any marriages before us, so kinda lost.

and he so busy everyday at work not like me so free can surf forum and get info (like im marrying myself..)

 

[sparkless]

hey nut,

that's alright. cos i am in the same situation as you. haha.. we talk about getting married end next year, selected a month and that's about it.

he hasn't formally proposed too, so there's still plenty of question marks.

hmm.. not too bad to start sourcing around for idea. have you got your own place yet? we are trying hard to get our own place

so far no luck from all the ballotings.

 

[nutellachoc]

hi starry.. great to find someone who's 'in the same boat' as me.. whahaha...

i will be living in with his family.. so no need to buy flats and stuffs. though abit sian that i have to live with PIL but at least one less thing to do..

 

[sparkless]

hey nut,

though we are buying our own place, his mum will eventually move in with us. so technically, i am going to live with his mum for a long time.

so have you started ur search for bridal shop?

 

[nutellachoc]

hi starry,

i haven't start. actually im very excited about trying on the gowns but my bf say it's still early to go BS now, moreover we don't even have a date and he hasn't propose. but i have a few in mind now after surfing the forums and when the time is ripe, will go into the BS to start discussing. wad abt you?

on another topic altogether, if im holding the solemenization and tea ceremony in the same hotel as wedding dinner, say 1-2hrs before the dinner starts, does it mean the HTB don't have to come early in the morning like 9am to gate crash and fetch bride? like can come 1pm?

is it a must to fetch bride in the morning?
and does it seems like my AD very 'empty"?

 

[sparkless]

Hi nut,

We went to the BOWS not too long ago. So from there, we have a rough idea what is the bridal package like. Other than that, have not gone down any bridal shop.

As for the AD schedule, I cannot advise you much. While it is not a must to fetch bride in morning, there are couples that ask geomancer for timings. So if you believe in the "right timing" to pick up bride, then you can consult those shifus.

I don't think it is a good idea to hold your solemnization 1-2 hours before your dinner. Then your guests would be left hanging, nothing to do. Unless you are doing a church wedding, which my close friend did. She had her holy matrimonial ceremony in a yacht club and she timed very well. After the ceremony, we were all ushered into the ballroom for the dinner banquet. Even then, the groom came in the morning. They had all the tea ceremony in the day time.

In this case, even if you have your solemnization just before your dinner, your AD would not be empty.

 

[nutellachoc]

oh.. thanks for mentioning on the part where my guests will be left hanging... i never thought of that. hahaha

wow there seems to be so much things to do just for the BIG DAY... yawnz~!

 

[sparkless]

maybe once you guys finalised the date, can start looking into the banquet venue. heard that banquet venue booking is pretty hot. heard someone intending to get married in Nov 08, until now, she couldn't get a venue.

 

[nutellachoc]

huh!??! must be kidding leh! then i think need to postpone to 2010 liaoz... that's discouraging. why so gan jiong huh? ahahaha