[Seeking Advice]: Ex keeps disrupting my life

[figsheng]

Hi all

Posting here to seek advice.

I am going through a separation with my ex after I found out that she is having an affair. Initially, I suggested that both of us to go through marriage counselling but she wanted a separation instead.

After we have signed the separation in mid-2021, we have not been in contact after signing the DoS and she moved out. Fast forward to 2022, I met my girlfriend and things are going well for us. Recently, my ex wanted to meet me at our BTO. She suddenly gave me a few options, out of the DoS, such as early divorce and a larger share of the HDB proceeds despite being the one unfaithful to the marriage. She also said that she do not allow my girlfriend to enter the unit on the basis that she is still owner of the flat.

I would like to ask if it is ok to ignore her? If not, are there any legal ways to stop this as it is very disruptive. TIA!

 

[DWiz]

Well, separation is not divorce.
Hence during separation, you both are still consider as 'husband and wife' in the name of law.
Yes. She have rights to prohibit your gf to enter the flat since like mentioned, you both are still 'husband & law'.
In fact, if she 'bite' back at you, she can say you are having adultery instead. And if she have the 'evidence' (yours won't be valid anymore since I believe it's more than 6 months), she can even file divorce and claim you for the lawyer fee etc....

 

[buddhabar]

Why cant people just wait till the dust have settle before starting another relationship.
is that so difficult. Having a relationship during separation is just asking for trouble IMO.
This will only trigger more resentment, jealousy and hatred which will in turns make
divorce more messy then it is already.

 

[MYYAHOOACC]

Well, separation is not divorce.
Hence during separation, you both are still consider as 'husband and wife' in the name of law.
Yes. She have rights to prohibit your gf to enter the flat since like mentioned, you both are still 'husband & law'.
In fact, if she 'bite' back at you, she can say you are having adultery instead. And if she have the 'evidence' (yours won't be valid anymore since I believe it's more than 6 months), she can even file divorce and claim you for the lawyer fee etc....

But TS already mentioned his ex is having an affair.
Maybe TS should capture evidence of it and document it. He proposed counselling but she counted by separation.
TS, is she then staying with her new man? TS, I agree to one of them saying to invite your new girl to your house. How about you go over then? Anyway, you are a free man now and your ex don't need to know why you aren't at home.
From what I know, separation has 2 outcome either to cool off and let each other reflect and come back or as a requisite for a formal divorce proceeding.

 

[DWiz]

But TS already mentioned his ex is having an affair.
Maybe TS should capture evidence of it and document it. He proposed counselling but she counted by separation.
TS, is she then staying with her new man? TS, I agree to one of them saying to invite your new girl to your house. How about you go over then? Anyway, you are a free man now and your ex don't need to know why you aren't at home.
From what I know, separation has 2 outcome either to cool off and let each other reflect and come back or as a requisite for a formal divorce proceeding.

Yes. The keyed word here is 'separation'. Under law, separation is not divorced, and still consider as 'husband and wife'.
Hence be it either party, during this time they have partner, the other party can file for divorce based on evidence.
TS of course can collect evidence of his wife having affair. However, his wife also have rights to forbid his gf to enter the house.