Dear All,
It has taken a lot of courage for me to be here speaking about this. I know I will be judged for my actions but i do need to speak about this and let it out of my system.
So i got to know this guy (Shane) 12 years ago. We were in a club, he approached me and we spoke for about 5 minutes. His friend happened to want to get to know me. His friend and I exchanged numbers. The next time i saw Shane was when he joined his friend and I during our date. We instantly hit it off and started hanging out. About a few months and meetups, his friend told me that he was married. I was shocked beyond belief. We stopped talking to each other and moved on.
A few years later, I heard from him again. He found me on FB and messaged me. We started chatting online and started getting acquainted again. We only hung out as friends initially and thot we had it under control. However, we did end up seeing each other. I always pulled away. I would feel extremely guilty and disappear for a month or two. He would text persistently. And I would finally relent. It was a crazy relationship. But it was magnetic. We could not tear ourselves away from each other. But i have never expected more from him. I always knew he will stick with his family. And i also only wanted that for him.
Things started becoming a little strange. He started telling me he loves me. I would never reply to that and I also never addressed it the next day. I just let it slide. He has told me he loves me many times. Den in 2018, something terrible happened. We were out and there was this girl there. He spent his entire night with her even though i was there. I left, he stayed. Next day, he texted me apologising profusely. That is when i realised, I need to put an end to this. So i told him we needed to stop and call it quits. He went on to say he loves me and if i could spare him some time to talk things out. I cud give him a reply. And 2 days later, his wife was sent messages about how he was so chummy with the girl at the bar. I also received messages telling me to come clean to his wife about our affair.
He texted me, accusing me of it. Asking if i were the one who sent it. I didn't know what to feel. I told myself i deserved it and told him never to contact me again. His wife never believed any of the messages. They are still married. We went dead silent till February of this year. Suddenly, he popped up. Sending me messages and then deleting them. Expecting a response from me. It continued till May of this year. He would beg me to call him. That he just needed a few minutes to speak to me. I did put up some statuses asking him to leave me alone without directly speaking to him. He kept telling me that he needs to speak to me because my statuses are worrying and that he still cares.
I relented (Foolish Me!). We met up. I told him all that i felt and he kept telling me he is gonna work on everything i told him about. I was confused. He was extremely gentle and sweet. It felt like all was back to normal again. Few days later, i texted him regarding something and he called me to ask if he could see me. I told him i can't as i have an early morning. He said he just needed an hour. So he came to pick me up. The moment i entered the car, he kissed me. Then, we drove around just talking, laughing and goofing around. We stopped for awhile and got intimate. I realised the time, so i asked him to stop and leave. While we were driving back, he suddenly out of the blue, asked me if i had ever fallen in love. He told me has never fallen in love before. Not even with his wife. In fact, he went on to add that he and his wife has had problems from 2016. He also had the cheek to tell me that his wife is an awesome mother but she isn't a "Good Wife".
Then he went on to say that he had fallen in love with a particular girl. He said she was there when he was having problems with his wife. He realised what love was coz he knew he would do anything for this girl. He told me he had said "I love you to her" and she has also told him that she loves him. So i asked him why he isn't with her. He said "Because i am married" and she also knows I am married. He told me that he has deleted all female contacts on his phone ever since he realised that he cannot be with the love of his life. I was confused! Dumbfounded! Didn't know why he was even telling me all these. So i asked him why he kept my contact still and why he came back looking for me when we had already stopped all communication. He said "We have some unfinished business and so i wanted to resolve it so i can still say hi to you in the future. Which is a whole load of bullshit! Bcoz we had already resolved it 2 weeks prior to this meetup.
He continued to tell me his marriage was long over. But they are staying on for the sake of the kids. So i asked him if all the "I love you" to me was a lie! And he claimed that it was extremely easy for him to fall in love with me. He was literally mindfucking me! He went on to tell me so many details of certain things i had mentioned 5-6 years ago. He can even give me details about our first ever encounter. He REMEMBERS details! Then he went on to say that he MELTS every time i lean in to kiss him. He even went onto say that he LOVES ME! Can you believe that? I was feeling so terrible! Comeptely lost and confused!!!! I understand i FUCKED UP! He is a married man! But i didn't deserve this! I left him alone! I never disturbed his life! What was his intention! All i did was i told him to delete and block my number in front of me and I did the same. And i walked away feeling miserable! He could still ask me for a hug!
Please! I know my mistakes! I am here because i need some insight for a clearer mind! I want to make it easier for myself to move forward. I can't speak to him to ask why he said these things?What was his purpose? Is there really such a girl? Why go all out to call me? His actions speak otherwise! I am so sure he loves me to bits! Then why tell me he loves another? He kept hugging me and asking me if we could still be friends. And i refused! Please i need some enlightenment! I want to move on with a clearer mind! Hence, I am looking to anyone who can help me out here.
Desperate
It has taken a lot of courage for me to be here speaking about this. I know I will be judged for my actions but i do need to speak about this and let it out of my system.
So i got to know this guy (Shane) 12 years ago. We were in a club, he approached me and we spoke for about 5 minutes. His friend happened to want to get to know me. His friend and I exchanged numbers. The next time i saw Shane was when he joined his friend and I during our date. We instantly hit it off and started hanging out. About a few months and meetups, his friend told me that he was married. I was shocked beyond belief. We stopped talking to each other and moved on.
A few years later, I heard from him again. He found me on FB and messaged me. We started chatting online and started getting acquainted again. We only hung out as friends initially and thot we had it under control. However, we did end up seeing each other. I always pulled away. I would feel extremely guilty and disappear for a month or two. He would text persistently. And I would finally relent. It was a crazy relationship. But it was magnetic. We could not tear ourselves away from each other. But i have never expected more from him. I always knew he will stick with his family. And i also only wanted that for him.
Things started becoming a little strange. He started telling me he loves me. I would never reply to that and I also never addressed it the next day. I just let it slide. He has told me he loves me many times. Den in 2018, something terrible happened. We were out and there was this girl there. He spent his entire night with her even though i was there. I left, he stayed. Next day, he texted me apologising profusely. That is when i realised, I need to put an end to this. So i told him we needed to stop and call it quits. He went on to say he loves me and if i could spare him some time to talk things out. I cud give him a reply. And 2 days later, his wife was sent messages about how he was so chummy with the girl at the bar. I also received messages telling me to come clean to his wife about our affair.
He texted me, accusing me of it. Asking if i were the one who sent it. I didn't know what to feel. I told myself i deserved it and told him never to contact me again. His wife never believed any of the messages. They are still married. We went dead silent till February of this year. Suddenly, he popped up. Sending me messages and then deleting them. Expecting a response from me. It continued till May of this year. He would beg me to call him. That he just needed a few minutes to speak to me. I did put up some statuses asking him to leave me alone without directly speaking to him. He kept telling me that he needs to speak to me because my statuses are worrying and that he still cares.
I relented (Foolish Me!). We met up. I told him all that i felt and he kept telling me he is gonna work on everything i told him about. I was confused. He was extremely gentle and sweet. It felt like all was back to normal again. Few days later, i texted him regarding something and he called me to ask if he could see me. I told him i can't as i have an early morning. He said he just needed an hour. So he came to pick me up. The moment i entered the car, he kissed me. Then, we drove around just talking, laughing and goofing around. We stopped for awhile and got intimate. I realised the time, so i asked him to stop and leave. While we were driving back, he suddenly out of the blue, asked me if i had ever fallen in love. He told me has never fallen in love before. Not even with his wife. In fact, he went on to add that he and his wife has had problems from 2016. He also had the cheek to tell me that his wife is an awesome mother but she isn't a "Good Wife".
Then he went on to say that he had fallen in love with a particular girl. He said she was there when he was having problems with his wife. He realised what love was coz he knew he would do anything for this girl. He told me he had said "I love you to her" and she has also told him that she loves him. So i asked him why he isn't with her. He said "Because i am married" and she also knows I am married. He told me that he has deleted all female contacts on his phone ever since he realised that he cannot be with the love of his life. I was confused! Dumbfounded! Didn't know why he was even telling me all these. So i asked him why he kept my contact still and why he came back looking for me when we had already stopped all communication. He said "We have some unfinished business and so i wanted to resolve it so i can still say hi to you in the future. Which is a whole load of bullshit! Bcoz we had already resolved it 2 weeks prior to this meetup.
He continued to tell me his marriage was long over. But they are staying on for the sake of the kids. So i asked him if all the "I love you" to me was a lie! And he claimed that it was extremely easy for him to fall in love with me. He was literally mindfucking me! He went on to tell me so many details of certain things i had mentioned 5-6 years ago. He can even give me details about our first ever encounter. He REMEMBERS details! Then he went on to say that he MELTS every time i lean in to kiss him. He even went onto say that he LOVES ME! Can you believe that? I was feeling so terrible! Comeptely lost and confused!!!! I understand i FUCKED UP! He is a married man! But i didn't deserve this! I left him alone! I never disturbed his life! What was his intention! All i did was i told him to delete and block my number in front of me and I did the same. And i walked away feeling miserable! He could still ask me for a hug!
Please! I know my mistakes! I am here because i need some insight for a clearer mind! I want to make it easier for myself to move forward. I can't speak to him to ask why he said these things?What was his purpose? Is there really such a girl? Why go all out to call me? His actions speak otherwise! I am so sure he loves me to bits! Then why tell me he loves another? He kept hugging me and asking me if we could still be friends. And i refused! Please i need some enlightenment! I want to move on with a clearer mind! Hence, I am looking to anyone who can help me out here.
Desperate
