Sad and depressed

PapaTan

New Member
I have been mentally and physically abuse since our marriage. My wife forced me to risk my job by fetching my 8yo daughter whenever she tired. She played handphone late nite and asked me to fetch the next day. I was sick (fever and coughing) and she knew it. We quarrelled frequently and she
insists. She even threaten to call my boss and
makes me lose job if I dont listen.

I need to vacuum the floor mon-wed after work. All she does was washing clothes, hang dry clothes. I also engage a helper to clean every Friday.

I'm mentally exhausted. Everything must follow her ways her instructions. For past 8yrs, I endured for my girl. Taking risk from work to fetch and rushing back to work. When things about hygienic, cleanliness, methods, I will get shouted at infront of my girl.

She has our saving under her name only. I depressed and crying non stop. Pls help...
 


PapaTan

New Member
I really want to save this marriage for my girl. She deserve better than these.

But it will only enrich her desire. She has OCD. A controlling freak. It's her way, her style her say!!

Why cant she realised? Why cant she stop torturing me? Why cant we have a happy family!!!
 

rip_curl

Member
Hi PapaTan, I think you need to calm down. I understand at times things can get really bad. I know the usual advice from anyone is to ask if you and your wife tried counselling or have you all sit down to talk things thru? You know best if those corrective measures will work. Otherwise, I think ask yourself how long can you endure even for your daughter. The kid can sense it too. Is this the kind of family or life you want to live on for the next 30-40 years? It might actually be better to cut this short so that you and your daughter can move on to a better life. Again you have to evaluate situation yourself if you have the ability to take care of your kid without your wife etc.

Stay strong and a clear mind....
 

newproject

Active Member
I have been mentally and physically abuse since our marriage. My wife forced me to risk my job by fetching my 8yo daughter whenever she tired. She played handphone late nite and asked me to fetch the next day. I was sick (fever and coughing) and she knew it. We quarrelled frequently and she
insists. She even threaten to call my boss and
makes me lose job if I dont listen.

I need to vacuum the floor mon-wed after work. All she does was washing clothes, hang dry clothes. I also engage a helper to clean every Friday.

I'm mentally exhausted. Everything must follow her ways her instructions. For past 8yrs, I endured for my girl. Taking risk from work to fetch and rushing back to work. When things about hygienic, cleanliness, methods, I will get shouted at infront of my girl.

She has our saving under her name only. I depressed and crying non stop. Pls help...
Does she work too?

How old are you both? Nationality?
 

rachel_fen

New Member
Hi, PaPaTan,

I came to read about your problems today. I hope you have calm down better over the days. May I encourage you to explore Retrouvaille.

It is a lifeline to save your marriage in all ways that it is worthwhile. For yourself, for Her and for the children.
Stay Strong. You got this :)
 

John Tan68

New Member
I have been mentally and physically abuse since our marriage. My wife forced me to risk my job by fetching my 8yo daughter whenever she tired. She played handphone late nite and asked me to fetch the next day. I was sick (fever and coughing) and she knew it. We quarrelled frequently and she
insists. She even threaten to call my boss and
makes me lose job if I dont listen.

I need to vacuum the floor mon-wed after work. All she does was washing clothes, hang dry clothes. I also engage a helper to clean every Friday.

I'm mentally exhausted. Everything must follow her ways her instructions. For past 8yrs, I endured for my girl. Taking risk from work to fetch and rushing back to work. When things about hygienic, cleanliness, methods, I will get shouted at infront of my girl.

She has our saving under her name only. I depressed and crying non stop. Pls help...
Bro, few things you need to do :-
1. Save for yourself. I’m not suggesting you don’t pay the bills for your family, but you have to save for yourself. Else you will end up with nothing.

2. For household, perhaps you can consider automate it, example robotic vacuum cleaner, you don’t have to dirty your hand. Even if she wants to vacuum 20 times a week, no issue.

3. How often you need to fetch your gal ? Have you ever consider getting a reliable driver to help you whenever you are not free ? Example like trusted, I said again, trusted regular cab driver ? Or at least loop in your parents to help ?

4. Cleanliness, if her style is reasonable, then follow suit. I do not know how unreasonable she can be, perhaps you can explain a little. Also you can talk to her calmly that if she not happy, can privately talk to you. Need not have to shout as this won’t solve any issue.

I think you are quite emotional, the way I see your issues not really too tough to fix. Good luck.
 

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