Ruthless maid


Active Member
For young babies, there are alternatives.. there are local baby sitters around.. they may not be cost effective because they only take care of baby but if you are really worried about your baby - it is a good alternative.

So, you see, there are always choices.

As for maids, it is a hit and go. If you have a good one, stick to it and ignore the minor problems. If you have a bad one, just need to keep on changing.

And actually I don't see any problem with giving maid weekly off if the maid is good. I also don't mind my maid to socialize with the maids in the neighbourhood.

When my children were young (baby), we took care of them ourselves in the night - never use the maid. Or when our children were sick, it was the same. Always look after them ourselves.


New Member
SERENE, i read all your posts..
it's terrible!
used to have my fair share of maids too..from indo and 1 from philippines.

those from indo likes to take things for granted.
at first they do all and gradually just as u treat them as your family member (with tots like, u treat them well, they appreciate etc.) they take things for granted!
common tricks are, going out in afternoon to meet neighbourhood maids, more and more phonecalls (initially was only after her chores at 10pm, she is allowed till i hear her phone ringing every now and then in afternoon admist her chores), advance money frequently..almost every month. stopped doing household chores esp in afternoon..rather sit in kitchen staring blankly..clothes ironing from everyday dragged till 3 days once..u realise your clothes are not ironed yet when u wana wear them.
it's funny how maids differentiate employers based on how employers treated them..previously, the maid is more afraid of my ex's sis in law coz she is more stern and unfriendly..all her clothes will be ironed everyday..except mine and the rest of's funny how, only my clothes are accidentally dyed with colors from other clothes..not once but thrice..until i have to make her pay for her mistake..i took 20 bucks from her..and i told her, if i dun take from u, u will not be cautious next time.

i paid her back when she returned to visit her family.

actually based on my encounters, not all maids are bad..the philippines one is good..married and was even recommended by her ex employer..she is very quick witted and do things initiatively..

sm, think now, it's sort of an easy alternative people think of when it comes to child caring/ house chores's too common..and even more uncommon if couples din employ maids..

eventually, i feel it's a matter of luck in getting a good maid..with intiative and able to understand her mistake and not repeating them


Active Member
again what is wrong for maid to pick up phone calls.. and also to mix with neighbourhood maids?

U can't expect her to be in a foreign land to be completely isolated.. she may feel lonely, crazy.. and that is why stare into empty space.

a happy maid is a better maid. I still believe, treat them well and with respect.. give them freedom and yet be firm .


i don't know how people can see themselves as good employers if they work their maids till 10pm and stop them from making phone calls. don't you make personal calls during office hours? don't you chit chat with your colleagues? don't you want a friendly boss who doesn't sweat the small things? does your boss dock your pay if you make mistakes at work? does he think of you as some unappreciative trickster who is always out to pull a fast one? does he prejudge you based on your nationality?

what happened to the golden rule?


Active Member

exactly.. these people thought they damn good already.. make phone calls also cannot? talk to neighbourhood maids also cannot..

then of course stare into empty space lah.


Well-Known Member
well... and they are wondering why some of them go mad.

Nothing wrong with making phonecalls. But, my maid is on the ear piece all of the time. Even when cooking or doing serious work. That can be dangerous. Sometimes, I wonder why her friends have so much money to make calls like this.

Some neighbours even approached my MIL asking us to not let our maid call and speak to their maid.

At the end of the day, we need to watch our expectations. If our maids are so independent, initiative and capable, why on earth do they need to work for us and get imprison in our homes forgoing their freedom completely?


Active Member

surely u don't expect your maid to work for u forever?

My maid is extremely independent.. I trained her to be from day one and she is very smart.

in fact since in SG, she has taken up tailoring course, computer course and hair-dressing course.. she wants to go back to indonesia and be a hair-dresser.

She has a blog and friendster account..

She makes all the decision about what to cook and how to cook and does all the marketing - absolutely no supervision - i just give her money and she gives me a weekly receipt.

And she always surprise us with new recipes - she learn from internet or from newspaper.

I expect her to go home in another year or so.. by then would be 6 years with me..

Actually she knows the bus route + MRT + LRT much better than me or my daughters..

She don't feel imprison in my home because she is allowed to leave the house as long as she informs me.. I don't question what time she rest or what she is doing at all.. she has the same freedom as my daughters except she has to do all the housework..


Well-Known Member
sm, I don't go to that extreme. Think not many maids have that level of freedom as yours. For me, it is my MIL that is having issues with letting go. We have to keep assuring her its okie and no need to breathe it down the maid's neck.


Active Member
yeah.. normally mil/mother/wife will have more problems with maid.

From my long years of exp with having maids.. i think guys handle maid better..

I used to change maid as well as wife would be pick on this and that.. but since she left it is much easier as I handle everything..

I know my method works for this maid..


Active Member

why u want to be a servant?

when i tell people I allow my maid to buy a laptop (i paid for her and she pay back in installment to me) and can surf.. they exclaim!

Of course like my daughters, I set curfew for her surfing as well.. nothing beyond 11:00pm.. day time ok as long as she has finished her housework.


New Member
Pink Cloud, thank you for sharing with me.

SM - i agree with what u have said (u see nth wrong with maid weekly off) but what if u need to work during weekends too? at times when they off once a month we dont deduct her salary at all instead we still give me cos to us if she works well nth matter that. i have no problem letting her talking to other maid too but its other employers who mind and came to my place to give me a piece of their mind and telling me off for not teaching my maid the right thing. when kids sick or feeding its always me or hubby doing it. we dont expect or dont even ask maid to wake up to do it. we do it ourselves too.
my ex 4th maid with no hygiene one keeps contacting me. she is abused by her employer and she says she hope to come back and work for me. i merely sms her next day to ask how is she feeling. Guess what they next moment her employer called me screaming over the phone at me for calling her maid. haiz i dont know what to say.
SM maybe yr maid can think better than other maids. Cos last time maid they really can owrk and take hardship but not the maids now. I mean still hv but maybe once in a million.


Active Member
If other employer come to talk to me, I ask them to go fly-kite.. they have to control their maid if the want to and not to tell me how to handle my maid..

For off-day, if u need to work on sunday, and you know before hand, then u arrange with your maid. If last minute, you still have to manage.. just imagine if you don't have a maid, what do you do?


Active Member
serene, u should change your agency or change your selection process...

or and put space/lines/commas/fullstops between sentences...


New Member
Powder, u're so funny lei..
But agree with powder, prob you should change agency.
My friend told me her agency cost her almost RM20k and she still end up bad.
sm so lucky can found gud maid through agency, as for me, i arrange my own maid, not through agency, so better chance.

What sm said oso true, let say u hv 2 work on weekend sometimes, so you arrange wif them which weekend they can go.
I have no experience in this field, coz none of my maid have the official weekend off, one of them go back home every weekend, and the indon one afraid go out herself, so in exchange if there is an indonesian/malay movie in cinema, we send her to watch then pick her up again; or else let her company my doter play in kidzsport, and groceries shopping, and follow us for holiday sometimes, so she's not boring at home. Or else, if you dont mind, you provide her with entertainment at home, i didnt give my maid laptop like sm, but i lend her portable dvd player sometimes, so she can watch movie in her room - i'll provide the indon/malay dvd for her(certain time only of course) then i'd use the dvd player in the car whenever i need to drive with my bb, esp whenever i drive back to sgp. eventhough not as free as sm maid, but she's quite happy with the arrangement.
I think sm maid already different, coz she's willing to learn, like my husband previous maid (philipino), she love to study, thats why my hubby fam send her to courses, then after 13years working with my hubby family, last year she return to her homeland and set her own maid agency.. hahaha
this kind of ppl will have different attitude, thats why eventhough sm give her so much freedom she didnt take it for granted or step on his head. Unlike some ppl with narrow mind.
So, it depends on each individual as well.


New Member
Oh, btw little bit out of topic, but i need to ask you guys opinion, if you found your maid got a health problem which require operation (dont have to be now though), would you pay for it?
dont want to start own thread to avoid unecessary comment.


Active Member
you should..

but if it is not critical, can send her home to have operation cos it is much cheaper there even including air-ticket..

of course depending on the operation and whether covered by insurance. If covered then do it here lah.


Well-Known Member
sm, yah, I wouldn't bother if other people come tell me what to do. But, they are friends of MIL and they go direct with her. This is the prob. Basically, aunite probs... Hard to handle.

What we keep reminding her is, our maid is already very good. We should keep her motivated as she will be with us at least 1 yr more. If we restrict too much, it will only affect her morale. That would directly impact her work attitude.


New Member
What you mean by "you should" exactly? means You would do it, or have to by law?
If let say, we entitled to do it under law, and i choose not to, then i have to send her home rite?

I'm bit confuse now, one part of me, i do pitty her, but most of my friends say i should send her home.

She suppose to be my other maid replacement, and she just works for me for 2 months, so i dont really know her yet. She is my untie driver's neighbour. Since i need replacement asap to help my indon maid with housework, i picked her up. I have no idea how come no of those ppl found this matter when they did health check for working permit purpose, i only found out when my indon maid told me the new maid asking her if her breast got funny shape or not, afraid of breast cancer, i send her to hospital, after they did some test and ct scan, they handed me the results last wednesday, then i have this dilema.. should i send her home or should i pay for her surgery which is according to the doctor ussualy would cost abt 4k for the most simple procedure, and for info, she has like 5 in her body.. by right the surgery would cost up to 15-18k depends on the situation, and its not including for cosmetic surgery if she wants her breast looks back to normal...

Anyone can share what would you do?
and please, i dont need comment such as : "so sad for someone live in bungalow, dont want to pay for surgery"
Just be fair and toughtfull comment.



Active Member
I mean, if you can afford to.. why not? But if the money is really tough on you (I can imagine 15 to 18K), then yes you might not have a choice but to send her home.

But you can send her home for surgery and pay for it - it is probably few times cheaper in Indonesia.


New Member
I see.. i'm thinking eventough i send her home, i'll thinking bout her. Can i check with you if let say, i send her home for surgery, can i bring her back to work for me? would goverment approve it? not trying to be calculative, but to be fair lah.

I'll ask my fam to check how much it would cost in indonesia.

Sigh.. really dilema.
Because she just started work for me, and suppose to replace my "every weekend going home maid". I can not stand her, always borrow money, and the amount only become bigger and bigger, sometimes twice a month! then turned out she still asking my indon maid to lend her money somemore..
my indon maid finnaly told me she afraid of her, thats why i terminate her contract and bring this new maid in.. eih, turned out she got this things.. somemore, no matter how many times i explain to her, she so scare, i found her did nothing or just sit down and let my other indon maid work her part, while she keep telling her that she's going to die.
I cant scold her and told her to do her own work properly, because she is "sick" indeed, and i suppose she has a right to feel that way, but one part of me agree with my mil, that her condition now not going to cause death nor affect her stamina and health so she still need to do her job.
Sorry yapping so long.. need to get it out of my chest since hubby oversea since last monday.


New Member
I prefer a P/time maid, can anyone recommend a good Maid Agency that provide P/time maids? I heard Amah on Wheels is quite good.

My fren had a HORRIBLE experience with FlexiHome Services, their contact person Rachel doesn't deliver what is promised.
Their maid will leave after couple sessions, then they charge again another fee, the maid leaves again and so on.. are they in cahoots? Their after sales service really stinks! My fren says they don't respond to yr voice messages etc and send rude emails when you ask for replacement.

I don't mind paying more for quality maids and service. I don't want to go thru what my fren went thru.
Any recommendations?


New Member
I have never trusted maids. Even for those maids who were abused, I sometimes wonder if the cunning maids had deliberately provoked their employers. May the law protect the employers more.


New Member
I realised that law does not protect the employers. If maid killed employer, she just get a jail term of few years. If attempted murder, she will still be send back after investigation is closed. The maid can say it is an accident and we can do nothing about it.


New Member
cant help but post this link to share to all.

maid torturing a child by physical abuse!

my heart went cold when i saw the helpless child fell on ground.

You guys should know the best place to look for maids, dont just get maids from untrusted companies. I read this blog and I think this is where we should be getting our maids in order to avoid bad maids,
I hope this will be of help.