blingbride
New Member
Hey guys,
I need some advice, ideas, validation here.. Me and HTB are in the mode of getting married. Initially we had planned to do our customary wedding in Feb 2010, but due to the delay at the HDB side in buying a house, we had to cancel the arrangements and put things on hold till we got our own house. Now, things seem to be dragging on the housing issue as we have some issues pending with HDB. That is gonna take awhile to settle.
Now, we are kinda jammed up, unable to move with the wedding plans as we did not want to marry before we secure a home. It feels so stressful, painful to want each other so much yet unable to move ahead.
I was thinking of doing a ROM first(Initial plan was do ROM together with traditional wedding), at least it's part of the step towards getting married, I become Mrs.X, we are legally husband and wife, considered married to family and friends, etc.. Even if I were to become preggy, it will be kinda legal then an illegitimate pregnancy.. More then anything, would give the both of us the satisfaction of being man and wife..
And I thought we can slowly move with the plans of getting the house settled and the traditional wedding and hope it comes true soon. Both of us come from very traditional, orthodox families and ultimately they are gonna expect us to marry traditionally before being considered man and wife..
I was wondering how the society looks at this, I know it's a modern era, generation differences, etc but how do you guys see it? Anyone here who only did an ROM and living as husband and wife? More importantly had a child together just after ROM?
Cause both of us really want a child together, we are so excited and awaiting. Our concern and worry is that my HTB is not getting younger, he's 36 and me, 24, he's afraid that I may not be able to conceive cos he's old, etc etc and also that he will be much older as our child grows up, thus want a baby asap..
I know I will not have a problem conceiving as he's very strong(*ahem) and I actually had conceived twice before in our 5yrs together.. I do empathise with his feeling of turning old as our kids grow and all, I really wanna start a family with him soon.. Am wondering if it would be ok to conceive after we ROM and before our traditional wedding. I personally wanted to start our family when we had our own home as I wanted to enjoy his company and seeing him day and night, living together, going through the process together.
Even if we ROM now, we would still be and have to stay seperately as my parents' place is very small, I dont even have my own room.. His family on the other hand never accepted me from day 1 and we never get along, thus no chance of moving in with him. I am seriously going nuts. Anyone in similar shoes as me or has any good advice or opinion on what we could do? Thank you soo much people..
I need some advice, ideas, validation here.. Me and HTB are in the mode of getting married. Initially we had planned to do our customary wedding in Feb 2010, but due to the delay at the HDB side in buying a house, we had to cancel the arrangements and put things on hold till we got our own house. Now, things seem to be dragging on the housing issue as we have some issues pending with HDB. That is gonna take awhile to settle.
Now, we are kinda jammed up, unable to move with the wedding plans as we did not want to marry before we secure a home. It feels so stressful, painful to want each other so much yet unable to move ahead.
I was thinking of doing a ROM first(Initial plan was do ROM together with traditional wedding), at least it's part of the step towards getting married, I become Mrs.X, we are legally husband and wife, considered married to family and friends, etc.. Even if I were to become preggy, it will be kinda legal then an illegitimate pregnancy.. More then anything, would give the both of us the satisfaction of being man and wife..
And I thought we can slowly move with the plans of getting the house settled and the traditional wedding and hope it comes true soon. Both of us come from very traditional, orthodox families and ultimately they are gonna expect us to marry traditionally before being considered man and wife..
I was wondering how the society looks at this, I know it's a modern era, generation differences, etc but how do you guys see it? Anyone here who only did an ROM and living as husband and wife? More importantly had a child together just after ROM?
Cause both of us really want a child together, we are so excited and awaiting. Our concern and worry is that my HTB is not getting younger, he's 36 and me, 24, he's afraid that I may not be able to conceive cos he's old, etc etc and also that he will be much older as our child grows up, thus want a baby asap..
I know I will not have a problem conceiving as he's very strong(*ahem) and I actually had conceived twice before in our 5yrs together.. I do empathise with his feeling of turning old as our kids grow and all, I really wanna start a family with him soon.. Am wondering if it would be ok to conceive after we ROM and before our traditional wedding. I personally wanted to start our family when we had our own home as I wanted to enjoy his company and seeing him day and night, living together, going through the process together.
Even if we ROM now, we would still be and have to stay seperately as my parents' place is very small, I dont even have my own room.. His family on the other hand never accepted me from day 1 and we never get along, thus no chance of moving in with him. I am seriously going nuts. Anyone in similar shoes as me or has any good advice or opinion on what we could do? Thank you soo much people..